LOVE THROUGH THE EYES OF A JOCK !!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 8:07 PM GMT
    After having see hundreds of threads on “why doesn’t he love me?”, “Do you think I should try again?”, “I think he’s the ONE!” I don’t care if he’s in a relationship, I LOVE HIM!!” Questions that in the overbearing face of reason & hard tangible evidence are self explanatory.


    I’ve often met and seen a lot of guys whom say “I love you, ”, after meeting someone for just over a couple of weeks. I’ve never really been too sure as to what they were trying to achieve by saying that. All it does is frustrate & irritate me because I begin to wonder about the quality and calibre of guy that they may have met at a previous encounter, in whom with them saying that, it actually did work out for.


    It makes me sad for that guy, not because I don’t believe in love at first sight, but rather, because there must be a longing that exists in heart, that is so desperate, that a guy that they have known for just over a few days has now completed and fulfilled.


    I hurt for them, because that guy uttering those words, them believing & reciprocating them, that feeling of completion of moving closer to love, is just so ephemeral.

    Throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude, I’ve often wondered if maybe, being alone prepares you to love even more, but not necessarily smarter. I wish for all you guys, that when you are alone, that you may all learn to love yourself more, to know yourself more, to appreciate & laugh at yourself more.


    You are the most important person in your life, the relationship that you have with yourself, is the one that will lead you to discover who you are a little deeper with more sincerity and with far less self scrutiny.

    I wish that you will become more confident about yourselves & you learn to articulate your needs & desires more boldly. One of my closest friends has a theory that ninety percent of relationships are about expectations and the 10 percent is about them being met. Whether that’s true or not, I’ll let you decide for yourselves.

    Over the years I’ve seen a lot of people commit a tragic self hate crime, they settled. I feel like settling is cheating, you quit when your five feet away from the top of the mountain, after walking seven hours to get to the top.


    I know that people quit for namely two reasons: they’re afraid and they’re tired. People are tired of looking for Mr. “right”, they’re afraid of letting go of Mr. “right-now” because they feel that the former isn’t coming, thus the latter Mr. “ right-now” gets prematurely upgraded to becoming “ Mr. RIGHT”.


    But I will say this to those of you whom are heartbroken, whose hearts currently ache. That no matter how absolutely truly and totally devastated you may currently be,there is going to come a time when you will stop remembering.

    Memories that have grown onto you like a quiet second skin, etched deeply in your heart & mind, just evaporate. One day, just like that, that song on the radio, that coffee shop, the book that you both loved, and the t-shirt that used to have his or smell, is gone…it’s just gone. You just don’t remember anymore.


    I don’t know why really, maybe its heartache being so ripe and full, that it has no room left for it to grow that it just dies.

    I will say this to all of you, that there are few greater joys afforded to you in life, than the liberty that comes with the day, when you no longer remember. When the person whom was a king amongst mere mortals, will become a man again…. a simple, simple man. In case you can’t see it right now, let me tell you it’s a great day. And its surely coming....




  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Aug 01, 2013 9:01 PM GMT
    Too long, didn't read.
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    Aug 01, 2013 9:11 PM GMT
    "...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?
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    Aug 01, 2013 9:12 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said"...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?


    You never know. No two people walk the same paths.

    p.s. I did read all of it. I do agree, guys now a days can't articulate very well, whether it's verbally or emotionally. I think people who feel the need to say "I love you" so soon in the "getting to know each other phase" that there is a gap, or void that they need to fill, and settling for someone they hardly know is worth the chance to fill that emptiness inside them.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 01, 2013 9:13 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said"...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?

    Being closeted and bullied and coming out in a world filled with Haterade....

    Edit: just a guess!
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    Aug 01, 2013 9:49 PM GMT
    Mesmer said
    JohnSpotter said"...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?


    You never know. No two people walk the same paths.

    p.s. I did read all of it. I do agree, guys now a days can't articulate very well, whether it's verbally or emotionally. I think people who feel the need to say "I love you" so soon in the "getting to know each other phase" that there is a gap, or void that they need to fill, and settling for someone they hardly know is worth the chance to fill that emptiness inside them.


    Yes some guys rush to say "I love you", color me guilty any day. Do I regret that? Hell no, I had a great time and that is how I felt when I said it. Why should I second guess how I feel or how I internally interpret love at a young age? Im glad I "fell in love" many times, I was needy...but hey at least I tried and no matter how many times i failed trying I kept trying and today Im engaged to the man I love.
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    Aug 01, 2013 9:49 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said
    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?


    Enough experience to do some balls to the wall heavy soul searching..
    How about this Spotter.. Guidance!! Encouragement?

    Here we have a 23 year old male that is very eager to comprehend love!

    I will tell you this OP.. Do not let these posts discourage you.
    I love your spirit and your empathy!
    Now word for word you and I may disagree on a few things..
    BUT..
    I'm 37..slightly jaded and bitter.

    I still admire your direction and drive.. icon_biggrin.gif

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    Aug 01, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    JohnSpotter said"...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?


    You never know. No two people walk the same paths.

    p.s. I did read all of it. I do agree, guys now a days can't articulate very well, whether it's verbally or emotionally. I think people who feel the need to say "I love you" so soon in the "getting to know each other phase" that there is a gap, or void that they need to fill, and settling for someone they hardly know is worth the chance to fill that emptiness inside them.


    Yes some guys rush to say "I love you", color me guilty any day. Do I regret that? Hell no, I had a great time and that is how I felt when I said it. Why should I second guess how I feel or how I internally interpret love at a young age? Im glad I "fell in love" many times, I was needy...but hey at least I tried and no matter how many times i failed trying I kept trying and today Im engaged to the man I love.


    Well peoples personalities are all over the spectrum, you seem like a guy who is very vivacious, and probably very free spirited, but there are guys like me who are a bit more cautious when it comes to guys.

    Congratulations on your engagement. Wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors. :]
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 10:15 PM GMT
    Mesmer said
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    JohnSpotter said"...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?


    You never know. No two people walk the same paths.

    p.s. I did read all of it. I do agree, guys now a days can't articulate very well, whether it's verbally or emotionally. I think people who feel the need to say "I love you" so soon in the "getting to know each other phase" that there is a gap, or void that they need to fill, and settling for someone they hardly know is worth the chance to fill that emptiness inside them.


    Yes some guys rush to say "I love you", color me guilty any day. Do I regret that? Hell no, I had a great time and that is how I felt when I said it. Why should I second guess how I feel or how I internally interpret love at a young age? Im glad I "fell in love" many times, I was needy...but hey at least I tried and no matter how many times i failed trying I kept trying and today Im engaged to the man I love.


    Well peoples personalities are all over the spectrum, you seem like a guy who is very vivacious, and probably very free spirited, but there are guys like me who are a bit more cautious when it comes to guys.

    Congratulations on your engagement. Wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors. :]


    We just become more cautious/jaded as we get older. That does not mean this is a better approach, you need some sort of balance, being overly cautious will potentially leave you single forever. Sometimes you need to take a few chances and let go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 10:21 PM GMT
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    JohnSpotter said"...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?


    You never know. No two people walk the same paths.

    p.s. I did read all of it. I do agree, guys now a days can't articulate very well, whether it's verbally or emotionally. I think people who feel the need to say "I love you" so soon in the "getting to know each other phase" that there is a gap, or void that they need to fill, and settling for someone they hardly know is worth the chance to fill that emptiness inside them.


    Yes some guys rush to say "I love you", color me guilty any day. Do I regret that? Hell no, I had a great time and that is how I felt when I said it. Why should I second guess how I feel or how I internally interpret love at a young age? Im glad I "fell in love" many times, I was needy...but hey at least I tried and no matter how many times i failed trying I kept trying and today Im engaged to the man I love.


    Well peoples personalities are all over the spectrum, you seem like a guy who is very vivacious, and probably very free spirited, but there are guys like me who are a bit more cautious when it comes to guys.

    Congratulations on your engagement. Wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors. :]


    We just become more cautious/jaded as we get older. That does not mean this is a better approach, you need some sort of balance, being overly cautious will potentially leave you single forever. Sometimes you need to take a few chances and let go.


    You don't have to rub it in :< I know that being cautious has left me in the dust from my other friends who have great relationships, and are happy. But I feel that I need to understand what I want first before I bring a guy in my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 10:52 PM GMT
    Okay let me try & re-iterate a point again .

    From a more emperical view -When I was 19 I dated a Drake type(To those of you who may be familiar with the hip-hop star) even looked identical to him & I was tragically intrigued & this represented the pinnacle of romance because this guys ambiguity symbolized something I felt I could relate to. I thought I loved this dude but then I couldn't quite distinguish between lust,like & love..Beauty of hindsight now informs me that I neither liked or loved this fella but I surely did lust for him and believe it or NOT in my late teens I've seen a lot of people battling with this distinction - yearning,nostalgia & loneliness numb our senses & I don't care how OLD you are ..So yes at 23 I'm not exempt to having false hope and blinded sight ..

    So yeah man LIFE(in general)unrequited love and investments in another person that have failed have TRIGERRED a lot self-refelction ...

    P.S some of you will get it, some will not ...
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    Aug 01, 2013 11:07 PM GMT
    Anocxu said

    Enough experience to do some balls to the wall heavy soul searching..
    How about this Spotter.. Guidance!! Encouragement?

    Here we have a 23 year old male that is very eager to comprehend love!

    I will tell you this OP.. Do not let these posts discourage you.
    I love your spirit and your empathy!
    Now word for word you and I may disagree on a few things..
    BUT..
    I'm 37..slightly jaded and bitter.

    I still admire your direction and drive.. icon_biggrin.gif


    hell yeah
    and I so get it

    Way to blow the Bell Curve to shit
    .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 11:11 PM GMT
    ^ ^ ^
    Hey now.. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 11:14 PM GMT
    I could only let myself fall in love if im living alone and far away from my family, but other than that im just looking for someone to break my virginity. Love is a strong feeling, i think many ppl are just scared of commitment.
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    Aug 01, 2013 11:15 PM GMT
    better?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 11:19 PM GMT
    I think OP sounds really sweet and mature for his age. I think i love him icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 01, 2013 11:25 PM GMT
    Mesmer said
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    JohnSpotter said"...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?


    You never know. No two people walk the same paths.

    p.s. I did read all of it. I do agree, guys now a days can't articulate very well, whether it's verbally or emotionally. I think people who feel the need to say "I love you" so soon in the "getting to know each other phase" that there is a gap, or void that they need to fill, and settling for someone they hardly know is worth the chance to fill that emptiness inside them.


    Yes some guys rush to say "I love you", color me guilty any day. Do I regret that? Hell no, I had a great time and that is how I felt when I said it. Why should I second guess how I feel or how I internally interpret love at a young age? Im glad I "fell in love" many times, I was needy...but hey at least I tried and no matter how many times i failed trying I kept trying and today Im engaged to the man I love.


    Well peoples personalities are all over the spectrum, you seem like a guy who is very vivacious, and probably very free spirited, but there are guys like me who are a bit more cautious when it comes to guys.

    Congratulations on your engagement. Wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors. :]


    We just become more cautious/jaded as we get older. That does not mean this is a better approach, you need some sort of balance, being overly cautious will potentially leave you single forever. Sometimes you need to take a few chances and let go.


    You don't have to rub it in :< I know that being cautious has left me in the dust from my other friends who have great relationships, and are happy. But I feel that I need to understand what I want first before I bring a guy in my life.



    like I said, take your chances, the perfect guy does not exist. It is a combination between the things you learn to appreciate and the compromises you have to be willing to accept.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 11:29 PM GMT
    hellass saidI think OP sounds really sweet and mature for his age. I think i love him icon_razz.gif


    You'll just have to beat me to the bushes outside his bedroom window!
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    Aug 01, 2013 11:39 PM GMT
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    JohnSpotter said"...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?


    You never know. No two people walk the same paths.

    p.s. I did read all of it. I do agree, guys now a days can't articulate very well, whether it's verbally or emotionally. I think people who feel the need to say "I love you" so soon in the "getting to know each other phase" that there is a gap, or void that they need to fill, and settling for someone they hardly know is worth the chance to fill that emptiness inside them.


    Yes some guys rush to say "I love you", color me guilty any day. Do I regret that? Hell no, I had a great time and that is how I felt when I said it. Why should I second guess how I feel or how I internally interpret love at a young age? Im glad I "fell in love" many times, I was needy...but hey at least I tried and no matter how many times i failed trying I kept trying and today Im engaged to the man I love.


    Well peoples personalities are all over the spectrum, you seem like a guy who is very vivacious, and probably very free spirited, but there are guys like me who are a bit more cautious when it comes to guys.

    Congratulations on your engagement. Wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors. :]


    We just become more cautious/jaded as we get older. That does not mean this is a better approach, you need some sort of balance, being overly cautious will potentially leave you single forever. Sometimes you need to take a few chances and let go.


    You don't have to rub it in :< I know that being cautious has left me in the dust from my other friends who have great relationships, and are happy. But I feel that I need to understand what I want first before I bring a guy in my life.



    like I said, take your chances, the perfect guy does not exist. It is a combination between the things you learn to appreciate and the compromises you have to be willing to accept.


    I'm not saying the perfect guy exists, but, to be honest I don't know if i'm ready to be sexually active with a guy. I'm just biding my time until I meet the one that is going to be right for me, I want my first time to be with someone I care about.. I know, re-reading what I just wrote, even I want to barf. But I can't help that I feel that way.

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    Aug 01, 2013 11:52 PM GMT
    My contribution to this posting.

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    Aug 02, 2013 12:20 AM GMT
    Anocxu said
    How about this Spotter.. Guidance!! Encouragement?

    How about this Anocxu?
    Dont make it so obvious you're trying to score points with the op.
    I said he was smart and sexy. That was way above rj's standard for encouragement.
    And where was your guidance?

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    Aug 02, 2013 12:32 AM GMT
    Mesmer said
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    charlitos said
    Mesmer said
    JohnSpotter said"...throughout the years, and in the depths of my own solitude..."

    I'm a little confused by your post. You seem like a smart sexy guy but, at 23, how much life experience can you have?


    You never know. No two people walk the same paths.

    p.s. I did read all of it. I do agree, guys now a days can't articulate very well, whether it's verbally or emotionally. I think people who feel the need to say "I love you" so soon in the "getting to know each other phase" that there is a gap, or void that they need to fill, and settling for someone they hardly know is worth the chance to fill that emptiness inside them.


    Yes some guys rush to say "I love you", color me guilty any day. Do I regret that? Hell no, I had a great time and that is how I felt when I said it. Why should I second guess how I feel or how I internally interpret love at a young age? Im glad I "fell in love" many times, I was needy...but hey at least I tried and no matter how many times i failed trying I kept trying and today Im engaged to the man I love.


    Well peoples personalities are all over the spectrum, you seem like a guy who is very vivacious, and probably very free spirited, but there are guys like me who are a bit more cautious when it comes to guys.

    Congratulations on your engagement. Wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors. :]


    We just become more cautious/jaded as we get older. That does not mean this is a better approach, you need some sort of balance, being overly cautious will potentially leave you single forever. Sometimes you need to take a few chances and let go.


    You don't have to rub it in :< I know that being cautious has left me in the dust from my other friends who have great relationships, and are happy. But I feel that I need to understand what I want first before I bring a guy in my life.



    like I said, take your chances, the perfect guy does not exist. It is a combination between the things you learn to appreciate and the compromises you have to be willing to accept.


    I'm not saying the perfect guy exists, but, to be honest I don't know if i'm ready to be sexually active with a guy. I'm just biding my time until I meet the one that is going to be right for me, I want my first time to be with someone I care about.. I know, re-reading what I just wrote, even I want to barf. But I can't help that I feel that way.



    Dont do anything you dont feel ready for, but always reflect on the things you want, trust me what you value today may completely change a couple of years from now. Just dont get stuck in a permanent state of mind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2013 1:34 AM GMT
    JohnSpotter said
    Anocxu said
    How about this Spotter.. Guidance!! Encouragement?

    How about this Anocxu?
    Dont make it so obvious you're trying to score points with the op.
    I said he was smart and sexy. That was way above rj's standard for encouragement.
    And where was your guidance?



    I gave encouragement too.. icon_confused.gif
    LOL..
    John you Devil..

    I said he was smart and sexy. That was way above rj's standard for encouragement.
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Aug 02, 2013 2:49 AM GMT
    Brilliant post. The sting of unrequited love is one that typically must be felt more than once before you learn to ignore it. Eventually you'll find that either your insecurities will fade with age or they'll stay with you pretty much forever.

    Just remember - don't try to imagine your dream man, because if you do, you might miss him when he passes by.
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    Aug 02, 2013 3:14 AM GMT
    Anocxu said
    hellass saidI think OP sounds really sweet and mature for his age. I think i love him icon_razz.gif


    You'll just have to beat me to the bushes outside his bedroom window!


    Ummm....you DO know i was being sarcastic, right?