Your Strangest Relationship

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    Nov 12, 2008 4:25 AM GMT
    Something I just read reminded me of an affair I had several years ago that devolved into an unchangeable pattern:

    Pizza
    COPS and America's Most Wanted
    CSI
    A movie
    And finally physical contact (him sucking on my balls while I j.o.ed)

    That was it!!! icon_question.gif
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    Nov 14, 2008 6:35 AM GMT
    I don't know why it's taken so many gay men to respond on this matter.

    My strangest is;

    I met this guy that was brilliant (intelligence wise). He wanted no more from me than sex. So, he texted me when he wanted me to come over. I went to his house. I let him fuck me, and I loved it. I rarely got off.

    It was never that good. He didn't want me around. He wouldn't take me on a date. I always thought I should be getting paid. Towards the end of this six months he asked why I don't stay the night? I told him that I'm not his boyfriend. He said I would never date you, but I would rather fuck you.

    Go figure. . . Sick.
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    Nov 19, 2008 10:33 AM GMT
    There was this old woman who I always saw outside of WalMart selling oranges. One day she followed me back to my car and sucked my cock with her false teeth out. Her name is Agness, but I called her Aggy. She was so old and delicate I always thought I was going to break her hip one day while we were fucking. Some people would have thought lubing her dry cootch up was no fun, but I savored every delicious second of it; I didn't use my hands.

    but then one day I found out she was a republican, and things were just too weird to continue

    go figure icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 19, 2008 2:23 PM GMT
    Miasma saidThere was this old woman who I always saw outside of WalMart selling oranges. One day she followed me back to my car and sucked my cock with her false teeth out. Her name is Agness, but I called her Aggy. She was so old and delicate I always thought I was going to break her hip one day while we were fucking. Some people would have thought lubing her dry cootch up was no fun, but I savored every delicious second of it; I didn't use my hands.

    but then one day I found out she was a republican, and things were just too weird to continue

    go figure icon_rolleyes.gif


    RJ's own "Harold & Maude"!

    My first real boyfriend was probably my oddest. We managed to last six months. Things started off well despite my inexperience and his eccentricities (he ironed his underwear and jeans, kept all his ATM receipts, etc.).

    But his internalized homophobia got on my nerves. He got upset when people teased him about being closeted. He was the kind of person that most people would have assumed was gay just by his profession (male nurse) and the way he walked. He was also very passive and I started abusing my power. I need someone to push back otherwise I will run roughshod over them and start feeling guilty.

    I later found out he had tested positive for Hepatitis B but had never told me. Fortunately we practiced safer sex.
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    Nov 19, 2008 2:55 PM GMT
    Never had a strange relationship. A few strange tricks & dates over the years, but once their strangeness became apparent, it never went on to a relationship. I don't need strangeness, have enough of my own, thank you very much.

    A strange anecdote: met this guy at an upscale Fort Lauderdale bathhouse 10 years ago. We had sex all over the place for hours, then left for some coffee & pastries at a sidewalk cafe on Las Olas Blvd, for those who know FtL.

    He claimed to be a kind of psychic/religious healer or something, even had his business card posted at the bathhouse. Suddenly he held my hands across our little sidewalk table, and began chanting very loudly:

    "THE POWER OF CHRIST SURROUNDS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST WILL HEAL YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST WILL MAKE YOU WELL!" ...and so on, for what seemed like forever.

    Everyone at the tables around us was staring at us, wondering what the hell was going on. I know my face turned bright red from astonished embarrassment, but I tried to remain calm and not make things worse. Finally his chanting stopped and a few minutes later we left.

    We paused at my motorcycle on the curb to say goodbye, and he made some "psychic" predictions about me, which I found phony and insulting. He said he wouldn't be back at the bathhouse the next day, and I saw my opportunity.

    "Yes, I know," I said. "You'll be at Sunday church services."

    "How did you know that?" he asked me.

    Closing my eyes, as if in a trance, I continued: "You'll meet an old friend there, at the back of the church, I think. You have many things to discuss, many past issues to resolve. Use this opportunity wisely."

    "But, but... that's true! I AM meeting an old friend at church! How can you know that?"

    "You're not the only one with the Gift." And with that I got onto my cycle and rode off, leaving him calling after me on the sidewalk.

    Of course I have no psychic powers, any more than he did. I was just giving him a little taste of his own phony routine. I'd actually overheard him on his cell phone before we'd met in the bathhouse, arranging the same church meeting I later pretended to foresee.

    But it was delicious to pay him back a little for putting me through that horribly awkward public moment back at the cafe. Happily, I never saw him again, my Florida vacation for that year being nearly over.
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    Nov 19, 2008 7:48 PM GMT
    Miasma saidThere was this old woman who I always saw outside of WalMart selling oranges. One day she followed me back to my car and sucked my cock with her false teeth out. Her name is Agness, but I called her Aggy. She was so old and delicate I always thought I was going to break her hip one day while we were fucking. Some people would have thought lubing her dry cootch up was no fun, but I savored every delicious second of it; I didn't use my hands.

    but then one day I found out she was a republican, and things were just too weird to continue

    go figure icon_rolleyes.gif


    That was so funny and so creepy at the same time that both cancelled out and I have no reaction to your comment.
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    Nov 19, 2008 8:14 PM GMT
    realjock.com