Tired of being alone

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    Aug 02, 2013 9:09 AM GMT
    Do soul mates really exists? I'm struggling with being single. What is wrong with me? Finding a date is hard! Its like I scare people away...
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    Aug 02, 2013 9:15 AM GMT
    quality_az_guy saidDo soul mates really exists? I'm struggling with being single. What is wrong with me? Finding a date is hard! Its like I scare people away...


    Do you think you're doing something bad? Look from the perspective of other people and how they would see you
  • goodmagic

    Posts: 191

    Aug 02, 2013 9:26 AM GMT
    How long have you been single for? I been single for almost a year and the reason is a numbers game. I'm not putting myself out there enough.I think about how successful some friends are with dates and it's because they are using maybe 5 types of hook-up apps, and going to the club on top of that. As for me I keep on running into Hoes, Hollarbacks, and Husbands. A regular guy seems to be caught up in working too much or very self conscious about his weight or looks.

    Explain scare away?

    In the end all relationships end the same way.Is not having one stopping you from doing anything? Odds are you can do all those things single.
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    Aug 02, 2013 9:45 AM GMT
    quality_az_guy saidDo soul mates really exists? I'm struggling with being single. What is wrong with me? Finding a date is hard! Its like I scare people away...


    If you want us to help, you should probably tell us more details.
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    Aug 02, 2013 10:16 AM GMT
    What is so scary about you?
    Are you showing dates your pistol collection?
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    Aug 02, 2013 2:57 PM GMT
    You're not a bad looking guy, go out there and strike up conversation. someone will like you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2013 3:22 PM GMT
    n00dz?

    Edit: Oh my.......icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2013 3:24 PM GMT
    there are benefits that come with being single but your pretty hot bro so shouldnt take you too long to hit it off with someone
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    Aug 02, 2013 3:26 PM GMT
    Soulmates don't exist. That's the biggest thing every person has to get over. Do you really think in a planet full of more than 7 billion people that only one of them has ever been meant for you? All of us are capable of connecting with more than one person at a deeper and more meaningful level. Who we choose to get in a relationship with and ultimately marry (should things go right) is largely a product of fortune (with respect to meeting them in the first place) and what we do after that fortuitous meeting.

    You'll be alright, OP. Get yourself out there and keep on meeting people. The most freeing thing you'll ever realize is that there is no such thing as a soulmate, and it's all on us to make connections out there. Good luck icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 02, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    Probably you are just trying way too hard, just be yourself and enjoy life in the wait. If you think too much about you being "alone" you'll eventually show it on the outside
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 02, 2013 3:34 PM GMT
    In a world full of people, how does anybody really ever find each other? I think it really takes a lot of luck to actually find someone you will be happy with. I think everyone compromises and accepts what ever lands in their lap. The lucky ones end up with the right one, others enjoy what they have for the moment and either compromise their idealic dream of what they were looking for and become accustomed and attached to who they've found or they eventually tire of it and decide to wander some more and look for another. Are you chasing a dream (nothing wrong with that) or are you opening yourself up to all the opportunities that land in your lap? I don't open myself up to all the opportunities that land in my lap because I've been down that road a few times and found that it wasn't what I wanted in life, so now I have accepted my fate that it is not going to happen, but I can live with that because I love my life and I can look back and say to myself it is better to be alone then to be with the wrong one, because I've been down that road before. Maybe you are just not ready for someone to come into your life yet, you just think you are.
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    Aug 02, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    Stop whinning, im not trying to be funny or cute, but u need to stop this self hate u on. One u a good looking guy, i guess u come on strongly and your desperation is written all over u. my advice will be to gain confidence first and then stop looking and be yourself. It only then that u will find someone.
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    Aug 02, 2013 5:03 PM GMT
    Why are you guys assuming what you already know about a person when he hasn't even told us anything yet?
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    Aug 02, 2013 5:46 PM GMT
    quality_az_guy saidDo soul mates really exists? I'm struggling with being single. What is wrong with me? Finding a date is hard! Its like I scare people away...


    Im in the same boat. I dont seem to have much of an appeal to guys here. Of course I am hot to most guys who live at least 500 miles away.
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    Aug 02, 2013 5:47 PM GMT
    Wow! The OP is hawt! I will volunteer to be his soul mate.
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    Aug 02, 2013 5:49 PM GMT
    Its all hit and miss, but you will find someone. I find myself in the same situation, but I guess all you can do is sort other aspects of your life in the meantime and just strike up conversations.
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    Aug 02, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    You have to be honest with yourself. Maybe there was a guy you did not give a chance too, maybe your just in a city with douche bags , or maybe its fate
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Aug 02, 2013 6:24 PM GMT
    In all honesty, I do think it's difficult to find that one man that you connect with so much so that you want to spend the rest of your life together.

    It does happen, and there are many gay couples that can attest to that. I do think it's more difficult for gay men to connect - the social settings are very limited in a lot of places, and the internet seems to have taken the place of going out.

    I was approaching 40 and feeling very much alone, and feeling I was never going to meet "the one." I agonized over it to the point that I'd finally had enough. I realized that there was a very good chance that I was going to remain single my entire life, and I could be miserable about that or I could face it and make the best life I could alone. I was actually in a good place emotionally and approaching life with a different attitude. Then I met my partner - 16 years later - we're going stong.

    My point is, you've got to take life one day at a time, enjoy the moment and make the most of what you do have. By doing that, I think it actually makes it easier to meet people - if you stop feeling sorry for yourself you become a more attractive person, and you start seeing opportunities to meet others.

    Nothing worth anything in life is easy - those who are successful are the ones that don't give up.
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    Aug 02, 2013 6:25 PM GMT
    You're incredibly hot. I can't understand any guy being scared of you.

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    Aug 02, 2013 7:05 PM GMT
    quality_az_guy saidDo soul mates really exists? I'm struggling with being single. What is wrong with me? Finding a date is hard! Its like I scare people away...


    I read your profile. Sounds like you are a pretty busy boy!If y our struggling with being single, a bad relationship is 10X worse!

    A few musing about this in general, not aimed at you specifically.
    1) Some people need to be in a relationship. I had a friend, his lover of 15 years died. He had a new lover in 6 months! They've been together at least a decade. WTF!
    2) Some people don't need a relationship. Me....sorta, kinda I suppose. I always thought I or the person I meet should be the best person they can be before going into it. A full person, not a half. Having said that I've had several lovers/boyfriends over the years but my independence may work against me. I haven't been "IN LOVE" in ages until recently. It SUCKS! And I'm more in love than any other person/place/time.....ever. And I'm 57.
    3) Some people build walls. Their "deal breakers" are insurmountable. And their "wants" are unrealistic and can never be met. Sometime you have to be vulnerable, allow it with a filter. Don't lose your sense totally. It may not work. You may get hurt....it's called being alive.
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    Aug 02, 2013 7:27 PM GMT
    I'm alone because when it comes to relationships I'm completely superficial and have incredibly high standards. And I'm also kind of an asshole.
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    Aug 02, 2013 7:39 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidI'm alone because when it comes to relationships I'm completely superficial and have incredibly high standards. And I'm also kind of an asshole.


    Props for being honest.
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    Aug 02, 2013 7:55 PM GMT
    Mesmer said
    jmusmc85 saidI'm alone because when it comes to relationships I'm completely superficial and have incredibly high standards. And I'm also kind of an asshole.


    Props for being honest.


    Since he's self aware I'd bet he's one step away from a full blown "accidental" romance! lol
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    Aug 02, 2013 11:45 PM GMT
    unckabasa said
    Mesmer said
    jmusmc85 saidI'm alone because when it comes to relationships I'm completely superficial and have incredibly high standards. And I'm also kind of an asshole.


    Props for being honest.


    Since he's self aware I'd bet he's one step away from a full blown "accidental" romance! lol


    At this point ill take what I can get!!!
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    Aug 03, 2013 12:10 AM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    quality_az_guy saidDo soul mates really exists? I'm struggling with being single. What is wrong with me? Finding a date is hard! Its like I scare people away...


    Im in the same boat. I dont seem to have much of an appeal to guys here. Of course I am hot to most guys who live at least 500 miles away.


    SQUEAL!