In the closet gay actors. To come out or not?

  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1278

    Aug 02, 2013 11:58 PM GMT
    Here is something I read today on another site. Supposedly a well known in the closet actor had this to say about being stuck in a really vexing position, to come out or not. What I think is really amazing is that on the surface you would think Hollywood is very accepting and gay friendly, being in general a very liberal bunch, but I'm not so sure. After reading this I would give him one piece of advice: Get a new agent!




    "I will not reveal who I’ve worked with or what I’ve starred in obviously, as I don’t want to be identified. I love my career, and I know I would lose my leading man status if I ever came out. I feel terribly guilty about many different things.

    First of all, I feel like I’m misleading my fans. I know a lot of women watch my movies to watch me, and part of that is fantasy, and I feel like it’s all based on a lie. They do a lot market analysis in Hollywood. I get told about which demographics I do well with, and I feel like I’m misleading so many people, or letting them down.

    I am dating another well known personality, and we’ve been publicly together for a while now. I know she expects to get married, the press expect us to get married, but of course this would be a great disservice to her. Truth be told I think she knows. She is a wonderful woman and a wonderful person and I don’t deserve someone as loving and trusting in my life, and I truly do love her, but I’m not in love with her, and sex with her, despite her beauty, is difficult for me.

    I also feel terribly guilty because I know there are so many gay kids out there and I feel like by not coming out, and not providing that public display of being gay and being successful I’m letting them down. Public figures like Ellen DeGeneres coming out when I was younger made a huge difference to me, and I feel like I should be paying it forward, but I’m too afraid of my whole life being ruined.

    I’ve only told a few people. I’ve been with two men since my career has started. Both have been, thankfully, very discrete. My two best friends from before I became mainstream know, and have been supportive. I’ve told two gay actors who have come out because I trusted they would keep it to themselves, having been in the same position. They were comforting and told me to do what I needed to do, but it didn’t assuage my guilt at all. I tested the water with my agent, who basically told me “Faggots don’t make it in this town,” and then went on to basically explain that he would never represent a gay man because the effort versus the money just makes it not worth it to him. It frankly terrifies me. I just wanted to get it out there."


  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1278

    Aug 03, 2013 12:22 AM GMT
    Anyone got any guesses? My guess: Ryan Reynolds. My gaydar has always gone off with him.
  • visualguy

    Posts: 204

    Aug 03, 2013 4:34 PM GMT
    It's a shame when anyone, regardless of profession, has to choose between staying in or out of the closet for fear of losing their livelihood. It's especially disheartening here in the USA, where the public worships sport figures and actors more than educators and public servants. Of course, the careers of sport figures and actors are built in the arena of public opinion. And public opinion hasn't quite decided how it feels about a gay athlete in a major sport or a gay leading actor. Small wonder there is fear how it will affect their bank account if they came out. Given time, things will change. Actors like Zachary Quinto and Matt Bomer, and sport figures like Jason Collins and Glenn Burke will change the public perception bit by bit. Honestly, it shouldn't matter whether you want to be with a man or a woman; your ability to do a job doesn't hinge on it. Hopefully public opinion realizes that truth soon.
  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1278

    Aug 03, 2013 10:39 PM GMT
    visualguy saidIt's a shame when anyone, regardless of profession, has to choose between staying in or out of the closet for fear of losing their livelihood. It's especially disheartening here in the USA, where the public worships sport figures and actors more than educators and public servants. Of course, the careers of sport figures and actors are built in the arena of public opinion. And public opinion hasn't quite decided how it feels about a gay athlete in a major sport or a gay leading actor. Small wonder there is fear how it will affect their bank account if they came out. Given time, things will change. Actors like Zachary Quinto and Matt Bomer, and sport figures like Jason Collins and Glenn Burke will change the public perception bit by bit. Honestly, it shouldn't matter whether you want to be with a man or a woman; your ability to do a job doesn't hinge on it. Hopefully public opinion realizes that truth soon.


    I agree, it should not matter one bit. Whoever the actor is who posted his story, the first thing I would tell him is dump your agent! He needs one who is supportive, not one that will be the first person to tear him down.Gay out actors like Zachary Quinto, Matt Bomer and Neil Patrick Harris have helped crack the door open a little wider. Let's hope that continues.
  • Florida_guy

    Posts: 55

    Aug 03, 2013 10:45 PM GMT
    I want to know what site you read this from. Do you have a link?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 03, 2013 10:48 PM GMT
    I'm going to be honest with you. I understand that the gay community needs leaders, but is that really why we want to out everybody or is it just for our own lustful fantasies?

    There are many actors I find hot. I don't care if they come out or not. I am never going to meet them, so what they do in their private bedrooms is their business. If they are comfortable living their lives openly, great. If they want to maintain their privacy, that's great, too. They don't owe me anything. They do have the right to their own happiness.

    If they can play straight roles, then fine. They are actors. They are supposed to be able to play a variety of characters and types.

    What makes me sad is the pressure he has to feel that if he does come out and be honest he will lose his career. So he is unable to find the love he deserves. I hope someday he can reconcile his feelings and that even liberal Hollyweird can become more accepting.


    /soapbox

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 03, 2013 11:07 PM GMT
    Did you guys see the latest internet post about the actor? icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2013 12:53 AM GMT
    My guesses are

    Justin Timberlake
    Ryan Reynolds
    James Franco (I have heard rumors about him from my NYU friends)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2013 12:55 AM GMT
    sonicpower20 saidMy guesses are

    Justin Timberlake
    Ryan Reynolds
    James Franco (I have heard rumors about him from my NYU friends)



    For a long time now I have pegged Ryan as a homo, and its not just because I want him to be. I have always thought there was something fruity about him, even before he " bulked up " ... he just strikes me as a gay man