I think I'm a bottom based on what I think about when I masturbate. I have a dildo and an enema bulb that I've used a couple of times.

1 - When I used the dildo I felt like I had to crap, does that feeling go away or is it normal?
2 - The couple times I've used the dildo I had to stop because there was a "mess" and my OCD kicked in and I just couldn't do it anymore. Is there a right way to douche? Like position, time holding the water in, and number of times?
3 - While I was using the dildo, it did start to feel good and I was leaking a lot of pre cum but I wasn't getting hard, is that normal? I didn't do it for long before the "mess", would it have gotten better?
4 - I know it's not permanent but if I do it enough do I retain some looseness? Like will it take less time to loosen myself up for anal?

I can't think of anything else right now. Thank you.