Advice on my new friend

  • BeerIsYummy

    Posts: 65

    Aug 04, 2013 12:55 AM GMT
    So I joined a new poker league a few weeks ago,and I met this guy who, after a few weeks of socializing at poker, I thought could be a potential new friend. He was flirty with me, but I told him I have a boyfriend and he seemed cool with it. He even joked "Then I better stop flirting with you" so I thought he would be interested in just being friends. So after a couple weeks of chatting at poker, we hung out last night for the first time outside of the poker league and went to this casino themed fundraiser at the bar and it was a fun time. He was still kind of flirty and complemented how I looked a lot, but it wasn't anything too overt.

    When I got home, he texted me "I wish I was cuddling with you." Which made me uncomfortable. I just ignored it. This morning he sent me a couple texts saying he had a nice time hanging out with me and I responded saying that I had a good time as well.

    Then he started asking me if we could hang out tomorrow. He wanted to hang out today as well, but I told him I had a lot of work to this weekend,and Friday would be me only free night. But he keeps asking to hang out. Then he sent me a pic of himself in a suit. Nothing scandalous, but weird. I just ignored that. Now he just texted me telling me how cute I am.

    I think I should tell him that outside of the poker league, I don't want to hang out with him again. I'm feeling really uncomfortable with the things he's texting me and the sheer volume of it. He's sent me 10 texts since last night. It just seems like nothing good can come from trying to be friends with someone who really wants something more.

    I just wanted to get some other's opinions.

    Thanks!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2013 12:57 AM GMT
    You obviously already know the answer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2013 1:05 AM GMT
    Obviously.
  • BeerIsYummy

    Posts: 65

    Aug 04, 2013 1:09 AM GMT
    I guess it is obvious. I suppose I just wanted confirmation that I wasn't overreacting. Thanks for responding.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2013 1:14 AM GMT
    No, you're not overreacting. In fact, it's refreshing that you're protective of your relationship. I'm sure your boyfriend would be proud of the way you're handling it. If the guy can't respect your relationship, he would not make a good friend anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2013 2:30 AM GMT
    "Hey X!"
    "Can we have a serious talk for a second?"

    "Listen," You seem like a really nice guy..and the last thing i'd want is for things to get really awkward between us"

    .."I am becoming more and more uncomfortable around you!"
    "I just need you to respect the fact that I have a boyfriend"

    .."i'm sorry to say..If the flirting and forward behavior does not stop".."I can't be around you anymore!"

    ^ ^ ^ ^
    Try this??

    Malice would be too awkward especially if your'e trying to have fun at poker league..

    So there is a hard headed, pushy , persistent guy that is crushing on you.. sounds like he can hardly help himself..

    Let him down firm but gently !


  • BeerIsYummy

    Posts: 65

    Aug 06, 2013 4:54 PM GMT
    I did it. I told him that outside of poker, we shouldn't hang out because I have a boyfriend and he seems to want more.

    He agreed at first and told me that he hoped in the future we could be friends....

    And then things got weird.

    He texted me this long text about how I made him feel love for the first time since his break up and that he was going to take a break from poker until he got his head straight.

    And then today he texted me that I played him and that if I show up to poker I might get "glock popped."

    I think I made the right choice on this one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 06, 2013 9:23 PM GMT
    BeerIsYummy saidI did it. I told him that outside of poker, we shouldn't hang out because I have a boyfriend and he seems to want more.

    He agreed at first and told me that he hoped in the future we could be friends....

    And then things got weird.

    He texted me this long text about how I made him feel love for the first time since his break up and that he was going to take a break from poker until he got his head straight.

    And then today he texted me that I played him and that if I show up to poker I might get "glock popped."

    I think I made the right choice on this one.



    WHOWWW......he's threatening to SHOOT you??? I hope you called the police.
  • BeerIsYummy

    Posts: 65

    Aug 08, 2013 1:44 AM GMT
    I didn't call the police... but it might happen. Things have gotten worse. He found my boyfriend on Facebook and sent him a message saying that I cheated on him. Luckily my boyfriend trusts me so it wasn't an issue, but it still is a crazy thing to do.

    Today he texted me again and gave me a weak apology for the mean texts and blamed his bipolar disorder. He said he talked to some of the regulars at poker and said they think I shouldn't go back for a few weeks.

    I just moved to Austin a few weeks ago and poker is the only social thing I have. I don't think it's fair that I have to quit going so he can get his emotions in order. And I don't believe he was honest to his friends about what happened. I can't imagine any taking his side in the debacle if he was honest. I don't want to have a couple weeks of him talking shit on me and everyone thinking I'm an awful person.

    So I'm conflicted on what to do. I don't want any more drama with this guy, but I feel like if I don't go for a few weeks, I might as well not go back at all.

    Any thoughts?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2013 1:56 AM GMT


    "When I got home, he texted me "I wish I was cuddling with you." Which made me uncomfortable. I just ignored it."

    Don't ever do this. Nipping in the bud is better.

    A good and immediate reply would have been, "Sorry, but I'm in love with my BF."

    Ignoring leaves them to their fantasies.

    Sorry about what happened Beerls! icon_sad.gif





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2013 2:04 AM GMT

    Contact the group yourself and see what they say.

    Advise him you're cutting off all contact with him. If you hear from him again or he starts harassing you, talk to authorities without telling him (that way you have a case file FIRST)so he can't make up a story;(per the glock-pop comment.)

    Emails are a record, so don't do this (telling him no contact)verbally.

    http://law.onecle.com/texas/penal/42.07.00.html