I've met a guy and we "seem" to have interest in one another but his actions says otherwise

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2013 10:36 PM GMT
    I've met a guy and we "seem" to have interest in one another but his actions says otherwise

    He has done things that shows he had interest such as surprising me at work with lunch on his day off and even in person, he's very shy and timid. We have met several times and during the "date" there's a lot of chemistry, therefore, i don't understand his action as described below.

    1. When texting, he doesn't respond till the next day. He seem to filter out the text and only respond to the text that he wants to respond and his response is always very short, usually 1 to 4 words.

    2. He texts me all the time but when i respond to his text, he doesn't respond back.

    3. He constantly asks me to dinner or to go out on an outing, but backs out of it instantly after we have planned the day and time or backs out of it after asking me to go do something with him.

    4. When I invite him out for something, he says he would love to come, but the day before the date, he says somethings come up and when asked to reschedule for another day, no reply.

    the point is, he backs out of his own plans. I have given up on making plans with him and not going to waste time on this because it's getting quite annoying. I have confronted him about this, and his response was "I'm just a very bad texter".

    What's your opinion on the situation.
  • TheiKevin

    Posts: 75

    Aug 04, 2013 10:38 PM GMT
    From the info you've given, my opinion is that he is just not that into you and may be talking to multiple guys at once. With regards to the fact that he's flakey, he could be very shy or socially anxious.
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    Aug 04, 2013 10:43 PM GMT
    That is very true. Even in person, he's very shy and quiet. Just a week ago, he surprised me at work with lunch since he was off that day. That's why i'm so confused lol
  • TheiKevin

    Posts: 75

    Aug 04, 2013 10:49 PM GMT
    Well just some insight from me to you, when I'm not feeling a strong connection with a person, I'm also a "bad texter." However when I find myself really into someone, I'm suddenly a very diligent texter lol. I guess your situation will depend on whether you're willing to wait around and waste time sith this guy or move on!
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    Aug 04, 2013 10:49 PM GMT
    Wait for the right time..talk to him.. tell him what you are telling us..
    I agree with you..Randomness can be confusing!
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    Aug 04, 2013 11:08 PM GMT
    TheiKevin saidWell just some insight from me to you, when I'm not feeling a strong connection with a person, I'm also a "bad texter." However when I find myself really into someone, I'm suddenly a very diligent texter lol. I guess your situation will depend on whether you're willing to wait around and waste time sith this guy or move on!


    Thanks Kevin! Ps, everyone needs to check out his youtube. He's hilarious! Link below

    http://www.youtube.com/user/TheiKevin?feature=watch
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    Aug 04, 2013 11:13 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidWait for the right time..talk to him.. tell him what you are telling us..
    I agree with you..Randomness can be confusing!


    lol I have brought up the topic and asked if he's even at all interested and if not, we can be friends or move on and he responded saying, he is "very interested and just taking it slow"...but if his definition of slow means not putting in any effort, then I'll have to move on to someone else lol
  • TheiKevin

    Posts: 75

    Aug 04, 2013 11:15 PM GMT
    Aw thanks buddy icon_smile.gif good luck man, be smart and don't waste time on those who won't use theirs on you!
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    Aug 04, 2013 11:19 PM GMT
    Player
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Aug 05, 2013 5:09 AM GMT
    It's over.
    Go out and find someone who deserves you.
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    Aug 05, 2013 5:13 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidIt's over.
    Go out and find someone who deserves you.


    Yes! What he said.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 05, 2013 5:18 AM GMT
    Next time you text him, start with "you there?" ... maybe he gets lots of texts so doesn't check them all the time or maybe he does have his vibrator on ... maybe he too slow of texter to respond quickly .... maybe he is driving ... maybe he is busy and forgot to get back ... or try calling and talking .... personally, I hate texting unless it is just to ask a quick question or something ... I don't think it is something you use to carry on a whole conversation ... and some just don't know texting etiquette
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2013 5:47 AM GMT
    Ugh!.. Sooo complex... Just Leave him alone. Forget each other.

    There, Simple! icon_smile.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Aug 05, 2013 5:47 AM GMT
    He's got a boyfriend or worse...Run...RUN VERY FAST.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2013 5:48 AM GMT
    7eed0ab8cd74803e4bb08574da7d7fec1a.png
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2013 6:08 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidIt's over.
    Go out and find someone who deserves you.


    haha right on!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2013 6:10 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidNext time you text him, start with "you there?" ... maybe he gets lots of texts so doesn't check them all the time or maybe he does have his vibrator on ... maybe he too slow of texter to respond quickly .... maybe he is driving ... maybe he is busy and forgot to get back ... or try calling and talking .... personally, I hate texting unless it is just to ask a quick question or something ... I don't think it is something you use to carry on a whole conversation ... and some just don't know texting etiquette


    yeh, I have try calling but he doesn't pick up. He states that he never hears his phone and when he realizes he has a message, something always comes up that makes him forget to respond back till days later. Yup, i'm done trying with this one.
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    Aug 05, 2013 6:12 AM GMT
    mybud saidHe's got a boyfriend or worse...Run...RUN VERY FAST.


    hahaha your comment made me laugh lol. I don't think he has one with his ways of interacting with people, but if he does, i feel sorry for the poor lad. lol
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    Aug 05, 2013 6:12 AM GMT
    hellass said7eed0ab8cd74803e4bb08574da7d7fec1a.png


    haha word to the wise. I agree! lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2013 6:39 AM GMT
    QSHLTABABUFONTONFAGQAKHJK saiddivorce him.


    LOL i would divorce him if we were actually together, but i'm not. So what other alternative way can I "divorce" him if we weren't really together? lolol
  • eagledreamer

    Posts: 198

    Aug 05, 2013 7:32 AM GMT
    I was kind of doing what he is doing to you to a guy I was talking to recently. I wasn't doing it because he isn't a great guy (he really is), it was more-so a reflection of where I am right now. In my case, I'm still really trying to figure out if I am emotionally available right now because I'm coming from a tough break-up (still may be hung up on my ex). I'm not saying that's where your guy is coming from, but my circumstances were my own but still affected my ability to commit to the guy I was talking to.

    Long story short: the fact that this guy is talking to you means he's interested. That said, don't wait around for him; it's not worth it. Find someone who gives you the enthusiasm you deserve. The early stages of a relationship shouldn't be this tedious.

    Best of luck man - don't settle!
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 05, 2013 7:33 AM GMT
    Mesmer saidPlayer


    this
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 05, 2013 7:33 AM GMT
    Phillips_73 said
    Webster666 saidIt's over.
    Go out and find someone who deserves you.


    Yes! What he said.


    and this!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2013 8:10 AM GMT
    so many possibilities:

    - he speaks english as a 2nd language?
    - he's got a time-consuming job and can't text?
    - he's a player with too many guys on the go?
    - he's got mild Asperger syndrome or otherwise no social skills?
    - maybe you're smothering him?

    i notice that you replied to so many of these above responses. i wonder if you're doing the same with the txts, and maybe he's overwhelmed by the constant communications. or maybe he's just not that organised and likes things free form, while you like things locked down?

    in any case, why don't you just downscale your own behaviour and let him take the lead. if he steps up to the plate and things materialise, great! if he doesn't, well then you have your answer.

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    Aug 05, 2013 8:23 AM GMT
    i actually don't text him much. He's the one who texts me everyday around morning. I only respond to his request of us getting together or to what the text is, but when I ask for date and time or anything to his questions, I don't receive one back, so plans are never made or confirmed. So i don't think i'm smothering him. He's white. he may be a player, who knows.