JDR62 saidIs it me or are relationships so much harder to find over 50. Seems all the single older guys are very comfortable being single, very set in their way's, have huge friendship circles, homes and careers to keep them occupied.
You date a month or so, have amazing times, but they are so use to being alone and a free spirit they end it because they prefer the single life..
How does a relationship minded older man meet a partner ?
Totally agree. Although I don't think it's just an issue for 50 and up. As I get older, I see the gay community and my sexuality quite a bit differently than I did 10 or 15 or 20 years ago. I used to believe that gays want the same thing straights do, a relationship, a life partner, etc. Now I don't really believe that's true.
I don't know of many successful long-term gay relationships. All of the ones I do know are "open". I've never really thought that men are designed for monogamy and when you put two men together, I don't think you can expect anything remotely close to the straight norm. I've seen it with all of my straight male friends. Their women get them under control.
(Most) Straight couples get married, make babies, and then work towards a common goal - the family. I think this is why gay men have such a hard time. You're not working together towards something. As you said, older guys get comfortable being single. They already have their home, their friends, their careers, etc. Making room for another person is tough. Compromising with someone when you already have what you want feels like settling - and every relationship is a compromise.
I used to really want to be with someone and while the idea is still appealing, I know that making it a reality gets harder every year. Guys my age aren't really interested. Younger guys are still caught up in the fairytale haze of finding THE ONE. I'm not saying it's impossible to find a quality relationship later in life, but the odds are definitely against you.
And, in fairness to the gays, I know older, single straight people who feel largely the same way. They have their lives, their routines, etc. and it's going to take a very special person to make them change. Age is a big factor. You're over the hump, so to speak. All of the crazy emotional stuff (ie: youth) is behind you and you're more realistic about life, what to expect, what you need, etc. When you put two men together, it's just that much harder to make it work successfully.