HIV and LOVE, Is it possible to find a person who wants to engage other with or without the HIV presence? I wish is possible!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 13, 2008 12:17 AM GMT
    Welcome everybody who wants to find true love with or without HIV.
    People is more important than a virus, I thinK
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    Nov 13, 2008 5:44 AM GMT
    Hey. Just here to show support. I'm neg but I wouldn't mind dating a poz guy. icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 13, 2008 9:49 AM GMT
    Since I was working for the gay community when HIV hit the world news, and it was within my first few years of being in the gay community.

    I still am neg, and have dated a pos guy, shame he failed to inform me, and would again.
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    Nov 13, 2008 10:26 AM GMT
    Yes it is.
  • johnnybravo79

    Posts: 22

    Nov 13, 2008 10:33 AM GMT
    I dont think there is anything wrong with dating someone who is HIV positive. I was in a four year relationship with a guy who was HIV positive but when I found out his status he said I was better off with someone who was not positive. I guess im ok with it but he was not.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 13, 2008 12:01 PM GMT
    HIV and LOVE are not related. If you want to be with someone for whom these are connected, "you get what you pay for."
    This is how HIV+ men are stigmatized. Then again it is to me a limiting factor that is the responsibility of the person who believes this.
    When you say I won't date someone who is [race, religion, HIV status, etc.] then you unnecessarily limit your options because of ignorance. Therefore have no right to complain about the lack of suitable men to date.
    Someone who is a pathological liar or sociopathic or maliciously manipulative are good reasons to not consider a relationship with.
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    Nov 21, 2008 3:08 AM GMT
    WOW! What an interesting topic. I myself wouldn't mind dating a neg guy at all. As a matter of fact most of the men I have dated since finding out I was positive at the age of 23 have been negative guys. I just had to remember that negative guys are people to and just as deserving of a chance as the positive guys are. Bottom line is we are all looking for something more in a relationship then just sex. If all we were looking for is sex then why worry about being in a relationship as sex is easy to find no matter who you are.

    Nah, I think that when it comes to a "LTR" we are all looking for something more and it shouldn't matter if a guy is HIV negative. It certainly doesn't matter to me as most of my friends are HIV negative, my parents are HIV negative, co-workers and clients are HIV negative and most of all, I know how a condom works. It's one of the advantages of finding out your HIV positive is that they send you to a special training class on how to use them and how to protect others from HIV :-)
  • helium

    Posts: 378

    May 05, 2009 9:33 PM GMT
    Well, I guess I can add in my two cents into this post now that I'm dating someone who is HIV+. He told me this after a month into both of us dating. I was a bit shocked to hear about this but at the same time it didn't change my perception of him at all. In fact, it showed me that he was able to bring me into his world of what he has to deal with on a daily basis. I know I can overlook that and still see the same person who I met from day one. So to those who are negative and think that a positive person is tainted are pretty much shallow. Just felt like I had to say that.
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    Jun 04, 2009 9:08 PM GMT
    oscarandres saidWelcome everybody who wants to find true love with or without HIV.
    People is more important than a virus, I thinK


    so agree w/ you. Very happy I looked beyond HIV status and found love w/ the man of my dreams. 12 years are still going strong and he is healthy and alive.
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    Jun 04, 2009 9:26 PM GMT
    Love is blind. But i must say we all never start out by looking for someone that is hiv positive. We all see ourselves with someone that is healthy and being able to be with that person without a fear in the world. But we can never and i mean never forget that when we do meet someone and there is this strong instant connection, i doubt we will toss it aside because the person is hiv positive.
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    Jun 05, 2009 1:52 AM GMT
    tereseus1 saidI must say we all never start out by looking for someone that is hiv positive.


    I do.

    I used to think I could have a negative partner and successfully practice safe sex like thousands of serodiscordant couples have been doing for decades.

    Then I started to get serious with a guy that was negative and woke up with nightmares of 5 or 10 years from now there would be a broken condom and he would get infected.

    I could not deal with it.
    He was heartbroken and I felt terrible for letting us get that serious. Before that we talked everyday for months and got together in person twice ( I'm in as very remote town and he's a long-haul trucker who was ready to quit the road and work at a gas station for minimum wage if thats what it would take to live together)

    Logically I know that if I had a positive husband there could still be a broken or ignored condom and cross-infection and we would never know unless one or both of us developed a drug resistant strain. I don't think that would give me nightmares. I have not been close enough to a relationship with a poz guy to face that.
  • tokugawa

    Posts: 945

    Jun 05, 2009 2:48 PM GMT
    In 1989, I started volunteering for a community based AIDS organization in Philadelphia, and I was later hired full time there. One of my duties was to supervise the data entry of 6,000 3 x 5 cards into a computer. One day, a new volunteer came in and was assigned to do data entry. When I first saw Wayne I was immediately attracted to him, but I felt it was inappropriate to come on to a volunteer at work. However, as I was heading home a week or two later, I saw Wayne on the subway platform, and a friendship developed; he even lived in my neighborhood. The friendship turned into dating, and since he had AIDS, we didn't do anything that was not 100% safe. Unfortunately, it was early in the crisis, and AZT was considered the wonder drug at the time, even though it has toxic side effects. So our relationship only lasted a short time, and after one of his hospitalizations, he decided to spend his last days in Virginia, where he was from. I'm still negative. And I still miss him.
  • tbeaux

    Posts: 419

    Jun 05, 2009 3:05 PM GMT
    I don't know if I could be with someone who is HIV +.. like I know that is really bad, maybe it will change with time, but to me it is still a terrible fear.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Jun 05, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    johnnybravo79 saidI dont think there is anything wrong with dating someone who is HIV positive. I was in a four year relationship with a guy who was HIV positive but when I found out his status he said I was better off with someone who was not positive. I guess im ok with it but he was not.icon_rolleyes.gif


    This isn't surprising. I know several guys who are positive that have an enormous, irrational fear of transmitting the disease to others.

    I guess it's not really irrational when you consider our behavioral and cultural evolution. As men, we're supposed to be protectors. We're supposed to be safeguarding our families and the ones we care about. But, we're exposing them to a minute risk of infection, and a disease that could potentially be life-threatening.
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    Jun 06, 2009 7:10 PM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle said
    xflipx saidI don't know if I could be with someone who is HIV +.. like I know that is really bad, maybe it will change with time, but to me it is still a terrible fear.


    There's nothing wrong with what you just said. You said it respectfully and without judgment. Everyone has a right to their own threshold and limits.


    I agree. As a poz guy, I wish more people could find a way of being both frank and respectful as you have done here.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Jun 06, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    I'd have to say if i fell in love with someone who is HIV pos then, i wouldn't be able to fall out of love, but I'm not looking for someone who is either. Basically, if it happens, then it happens.
  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Jun 06, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    Totally possible...I was in a 4 year relationship with a Poz guy, And I'm Neg.....Its really got nothing to do with love, Someones status should not matter....icon_biggrin.gif
  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Jun 06, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    Totally possible...I was in a 4 year relationship with a Poz guy, And I'm Neg.....Its really got nothing to do with love, Someones status should not matter....icon_biggrin.gif