Major drama at work. HR is now involved.

  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Aug 08, 2013 4:06 AM GMT
    So this fucking smut at my work who is in the same position as me... complained to HR about our supervisor...Let's call him Tom (his real name is not Tom)...Anyway Tom (our supervisor) is a real laid-back, nice guy. One of those granola California types who wears beaded bracelets and is one with nature and doesn't own a cell phone and bikes to work, etc etc...u get the idea...kind of a surfer/hippie/granola guy who's prob in his late 30s maybe early 40s... super chill guy.

    Last friday, my coworker had a meeting with Tom...about her performance. She comes crying into my office saying that Tom belittled her and yelled at her and spoke to her like a child...asked her to stop mentioning my name when I'm not there. Apparently, this coworker would say that she needs this and that...like for example she would say "Import and I need more training on international student admissions and student visa training. Also, Import and I would like to have a better CRM and Import and I feel as if we shouldn't have to meet with students" etc etc... I had no idea she was doing this....these are one on one meetings. So, Tom says to my coworker (Pat) (made up name).. "pat, why do u keep mentioning Import? Your points are completely valid without mentioning Import...why do you keep speaking for Import? Why, Pat? Why?"....in what was described to me as a very annoyed and berating tone.

    Well, this coworker of mine on Monday filed a formal grievance with HR against Tom. She say that he talks down on her and she doesn't feel comfortable speaking to him and that Tom is imcompetent and disrespectful. My cowroker decided to mention my name in the grevience....basically saying that I have the same issues with Tom as she does. . .

    I get an email at work today from HR asking to meet with me. I'm completely caught off guard and I'm kinda like "wtf is this about?"
    Well I go to HR and they have a panel of people around this table and they ask me to sit down and basically say that my coworker claims X and Y and Z about Tom--- can I confirm that he does this? HR was obviuously doing some sort of investigation... I said "I'm not confirming anything--I have no issues with Tom and can't say that he does or doesn't do the things mentioned" ie. like belittling people, etc.

    Anyway, now the "leadership team"(who are other supervisors in my office) has found out and one of the other supervisors pulls me aside today in a meeting and says "who's side are u on, anyway?..... like wtf? I said "im not on anyone's side, im just doing my job...im on my side and that's it I have nothing to do with this"...well, the person that asked me whos side am I on tells me I need to schedule a meeting with the chancellor of the fucking university to right Pat's misrepresentation of Tom. . .

    I'm now very fucking pissed off at Pat and would have no hesitation walking into work tomorrow and knocking her fucking teeth out if I knew I would not get in trouble. Obvi, I would never do that, but I would take DELIGHT in just walking up to her like nothing's wrong and clocking her in her fuckin face so hard that she drops to the ground. I am seriously furious that I'm now dragged into this big office drama...that not only involves the director of admissions...now it's going beyond that and they want me to speak to the chancellor of the university. . . . all cuz this dumb bitch got chewed out for using my name when I was not present in a meeting. Because she would try and speak for me when she had no right to....

    Is this fucked up to anyone? Or am I being like some sensitive pussy faggoty bitch about it? Honestly, people....

    I know it's a long post, I just needed to vent more than anything. I feel like leadership is looking to me to fix things with HR and to tell the chancellor that Tom is cool and he doesn't do what Pat claims he does do, when to be quite honest, I dont wanna be involved. So fucking mad. damn.




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    Aug 08, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    why is Pat so obsessed witchu
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    Aug 08, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    1 - Pat needs a boyfriend.
    2 - Calm the fuck down, you did nothing wrong.
    3 - You should take Tom's side no questions asked. Its either the nice/laid-back manager you like or the bitch who dragged you into this drama.
    4 - Dont punch women.
    5 - Its late, go jerk off and go to bed.
    6 - Good Luck.
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    Aug 08, 2013 4:44 AM GMT
    Numbers 2 and 3 from Charlitos I agree with... I know you don't want this but I would try to defend your supervisor. If anything as HR to transfer her out if they can do so.

    If you have allies, try to get everyone to turn against her.

    Suit up!!
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    Aug 08, 2013 4:46 AM GMT
    charlitos said1 - Pat needs a boyfriend.
    2 - Calm the fuck down, you did nothing wrong.
    3 - You should take Tom's side no questions asked. Its either the nice/laid-back manager you like or the bitch who dragged you into this drama.
    4 - Dont dont punch women.
    5 - Its late, go jerk off and go to bed.
    6 - Good Luck.


    This... Tom is your boss, you said hes cool. So stick with him. Feel free to pee in Pats coffee one day though.. LOL..
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Aug 08, 2013 4:51 AM GMT
    charlitos said1 - Pat needs a boyfriend.
    2 - Calm the fuck down, you did nothing wrong.
    3 - You should take Tom's side no questions asked. Its either the nice/laid-back manager you like or the bitch who dragged you into this drama.
    4 - Dont dont punch women.
    5 - Its late, go jerk off and go to bed.
    6 - Good Luck.


    lol, this is what I need to hear.
    I cant calm down tho, that's my prob. I just get hot and wanna knock someone out.
    like I said tho, I would never actually punch her, it would just be a fantasy type thing. I was just infuriated that now I'm the one that has to set up this meeting with the chancellor. It's all so unecessary.

    Yeah and i do need to go to bed.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 08, 2013 5:03 AM GMT
    I don't know ... do you think maybe you can get Tom's job if they get rid of him icon_biggrin.gif

    But seriously, just tell them you haven't a clue as to what pat is talking about and that it sounds like something they need to settle between themselves.
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    Aug 08, 2013 5:15 AM GMT
    I'm not really agreeing with the posts above..

    ..I have employees in my department that exaggerate, twist and turn information , name drop and lie..

    ..For me to sort through this info and give a report to the board ruins my days.

    ..Pat is a trouble maker.. She uses you as leverage because you are more significant.

    .. Let your superiors know that any information from Pat regarding you..has to be confirmed with you before it goes on the record..

    .. Give Pat the silent treatment. Till you calm down.

    ..She sounds like a liar that will use anything You say or don't say against you!

    Chill + Hugz icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 08, 2013 5:20 AM GMT
    Stick up for Tom. If he truly did nothing wrong then he shouldn't be punished for it. Pat sounds like a typical whiny, lonely cunt. I would let the HR panel know what a nutcase she is....
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    Aug 08, 2013 5:31 AM GMT
    I have Never heard someone describe someone else as.. "Granola".. I'm not sure I like it icon_confused.gif
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    Aug 08, 2013 5:41 AM GMT
    asspermativeaction saidreading this thread reminds me of this.



    /

    Hahaha... He Be So CRAAAAAAZY icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 08, 2013 5:54 AM GMT
    I've read your o.p. carefully. What is coming through clearly to me is that Granola is a good guy - and has never given you crap. He needs your help now. Give him that help and he'll be in a position to return the favor one day. Pat doesn't give a fuck about you and is disrespecting/using you. Throw her under the bus. Let them know at the meeting (without malice) that Pat is the one in the wrong. They'll hopefully get rid of her, and you and Granola will have sunny days ahead. Nothing better than a boss who's grateful to you. Benefits just come rolling down the hill for you in cases like that.
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    Aug 08, 2013 7:03 AM GMT
    I'm not a fan of office politics or drama either. But in certain cases, you can't just step away and try to be neutral. This seems like one of those cases. You'll have to be more proactive in proving that Tom is really a nice guy and Pat is a scandalous bitch. Also, since your name is being dragged around, you need to say something to protect yourself as well.
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    Aug 08, 2013 7:05 AM GMT
    Thank gosh I am self employed....

    I hate office drama and corporate bullshit.
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    Aug 08, 2013 7:36 AM GMT
    charlitos said1 - Pat needs a boyfriend.
    2 - Calm the fuck down, you did nothing wrong.
    3 - You should take Tom's side no questions asked. Its either the nice/laid-back manager you like or the bitch who dragged you into this drama.
    4 - Dont dont punch women.
    5 - Its late, go jerk off and go to bed.
    6 - Good Luck.


    best advice
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    Aug 08, 2013 8:27 AM GMT
    You should remain neutral and professional and state clearly that You DO NOT feel that way about Tom. Maybe you should have a small private conversation with the chick who dragged you into this. HR has their own policy of handling this, the person who acted the most annoyed, harsh and bitchy will be fired/let go. Don't sweat it.


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    Aug 08, 2013 8:57 AM GMT
    socalx10 saidYou should remain neutral and professional and state clearly that You DO NOT feel that way about Tom. Maybe you should have a small private conversation with the chick who dragged you into this. HR has their own policy of handling this, the person who acted the most annoyed, harsh and bitchy will be fired/let go. Don't sweat it.



    Dont have a small pvt chat with the silly bitch Pat, Import is smart enough to know not to, but others finding themselves in such a situation won't be.
    Everything from now on needs to be monitored and recorded.
    I'd be doing everything possible to disassociate myself with her.
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    Aug 08, 2013 9:30 AM GMT
    boomerangOz said
    socalx10 said
    Dont have a small pvt chat with the silly bitch Pat, Import is smart enough to know not to, but others finding themselves in such a situation won't be.
    Everything from now on needs to be monitored and recorded.
    I'd be doing everything possible to disassociate myself with her.


    Well I meant he should talk to her if he feels super angry at her, you know in a civil manner of course, like a coffee setting outside of work on the weekend. It's sort of like a hash out of **why and **unfinished business. But yeah, I would do it to clear the air and find out *why, maybe you can record the conversation and trap her own motives like a police-sting Lol... but it's up to you buddy Import!

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    Aug 08, 2013 10:47 AM GMT
    socalx10 said
    boomerangOz said
    socalx10 said
    Dont have a small pvt chat with the silly bitch Pat, Import is smart enough to know not to, but others finding themselves in such a situation won't be.
    Everything from now on needs to be monitored and recorded.
    I'd be doing everything possible to disassociate myself with her.


    Well I meant he should talk to her if he feels super angry at her, you know in a civil manner of course, like a coffee setting outside of work on the weekend. It's sort of like a hash out of **why and **unfinished business. But yeah, I would do it to clear the air and find out *why, maybe you can record the conversation and trap her own motives like a police-sting Lol... but it's up to you buddy Import!



    As great and normal as this sounds its been my experience as a manager for 20 plus years that a conversation with her as you suggest will end badly
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    Aug 08, 2013 10:59 AM GMT
    I agree with most people's assessment; Grenola is the good guy. Tell HR that Pat has and had no right to include you in any complaint. That it was done without your consent and state again that you do not have an issue with Granola, that it appears that Pat does. Effectively, you withdraw your support for Pat (she is out on her own) and HR understands that Grenola has been the victim in this sordid affair.
    Oh and by the way Charlitos' advice is spot on.
    1 - Pat needs a boyfriend.
    2 - Calm the fuck down, you did nothing wrong.
    3 - You should take Tom's side no questions asked. Its either the nice/laid-back manager you like or the bitch who dragged you into this drama.
    4 - Dont dont punch women.
    5 - Its late, go jerk off and go to bed.
    6 - Good Luck.
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    Aug 08, 2013 12:09 PM GMT
    See you gonna go and make me look at your profile again... icon_lol.gif Oh I have had HR experiences. It is drama. But soon it will blow over, hopefully for the best.
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    Aug 08, 2013 12:18 PM GMT
    Don't take it personnaly, girls are bitches at works, its a world known fact. But I would stay by your boss side, and finaly take her done, she obviously cant take responsabilities, and is to emotive, who cry at work? seriously?
    Women need less power at work, there are just incompetent mouaaa kidding!! only thing im sure, its guys do better blow jobs!icon_surprised.gif
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    Aug 08, 2013 12:27 PM GMT
    socalx10 saidYou should remain neutral and professional and state clearly that You DO NOT feel that way about Tom. Maybe you should have a small private conversation with the chick who dragged you into this. HR has their own policy of handling this, the person who acted the most annoyed, harsh and bitchy will be fired/let go. Don't sweat it.




    absolutely, do NOT have a separate conversation with Pat. Once HR is involved, there is no good that will come out of any such meeting. Do what you think is right in supporting your boss, but that should be it. If they "clear" your boss in this, something tells me your CB (crazy bitch) co-worker won't be long for your department.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 08, 2013 12:31 PM GMT
    I would endeavor to handle the issues professionally with as little drama as possible and to go on about your business. The worst thing in anybody's world is drama at work. It can be harmful all around.. so negating it is very important.

    Answer questions logically, truthfully and don't get emotional about "Pat" and don't get dragged into the process beyond providing facts to any questions you may receive from HR.
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    Aug 08, 2013 1:45 PM GMT
    Ugh. I don't know why women in the workplace feel the need to stir up drama and drag people down with them. I've witnessed this several times throughout my career, both directed at me and at others I work with, in almost all places that I've worked.

    I would follow the advice of not speaking to Pat about anything not directly related to a work-related task. People who act like she does will take any nugget of personal information and use it against you later on when it suits her in her crusade. It's been my experience that crusading bitches will waste no time stabbing you in the back with one hand while they pat you on the back with the other.

    I think you've taken the right path so far and kept deliberately neutral to HR and your coworkers. I would recommend resorting to e-mail when communicating with Pat from now on, so that there is an official record of everything you say. Also, if she starts ranting to you about anyone at your work, it's in your best interest to politely cut her off and disassociate yourself from the conversation. Otherwise, she's going to drag you down with her like she tried to before. If you're genuinely convinced that Tom is an upstanding guy, you could just mention to him privately that he's got your support, but that you're remaining neutral officially so that Pat doesn't stir up trouble with you, too.

    Office bitches are a royal pain in the ass. I'm fighting a battle now with one who's also my supervisor. It's becomes a cat-and-mouse game of Cover Your Ass that makes work fucking miserable, until either you snap and quit or she moves on to browner pastures. Good luck, man, and keep your chin up.