Would you date a Muslim?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 2:06 PM GMT
    QUESTION - If you found someone attractive, and learned they were Muslim -

    Since I don't have many other gay Muslim friends to create an example from - I will go ahead and use myself. Politically, socially and religiously I am moderate in viewpoints - perhaps the best way to describe it is someone who was born and raised in western society, but practiced and lived in a Muslim household. That sums up me pretty much.

    For me a Muslim is defined as someone who practices the faith (other the being gay of course) = Praying once a day at least - not drinking alcohol - not eating pork - and those are just the basics to get you an idea.
    I don't have the opportunity to go to prayer services because it falls on Friday during the work day. If I had a choice and availability I would go because I always learn something new from the sermons.

    I socialize like any other gay man (Not every weekend - but I do love to dance!). I do practice my faith in subtle ways. When I begin something ...even like lifting weights or starting my workouts I say under my breathe "In the name of God" in Arabic and end whatever I am doing by saying "Thank be to God" in Arabic. Btw - I do that even when I am in bed with someone. My concern is my own salvation - in that sense - it is a very selfish act. What my partner, friends or colleagues choose to do with their faith or spirituality is not my business. I just wonder if I can find someone who accepts my spiritual path without compromising his comfort and acceptance. I just want to have someone there waiting in bed as I pray and then we can hold each other and make love all night. That's all I pray for these days...

    So I hope expanding on this question gets you an idea of what I meant.
    Question - If you found someone attractive, and learned they were Muslim - What would you do? How would you feel? Would you date a Muslim?


    AND PLEASE BE CANDID!

    Thanks!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 2:29 PM GMT
    Yes. I am agnostic and have "married" a practicing Catholic, so Muslim would not be a stretch for me. Mind you they would have to be a fairly moderate muslim. If the guy thought that women should not be allowed to work or drive, then there could be issues.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 2:36 PM GMT
    SurrealLife saidYes. I am agnostic and have "married" a practicing Catholic, so Muslim would not be a stretch for me. Mind you they would have to be a fairly moderate muslim. If the guy thought that women should not be allowed to work or drive, then there could be issues.

    Those are cultural beliefs ...not religious beliefs. But thanks for the clarification.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 2:49 PM GMT
    One of my best friends is a cultural Muslim, although not really a religious Muslim. I am really attracted to Arab and Mediterranean men, so I would definitely be interested. I would have reservations about a fundamentalist Muslim, but would all depend on the person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 2:53 PM GMT
    ruck_us saidOne of my best friends is a cultural Muslim, although not really a religious Muslim. I am really attracted to Arab and Mediterranean men, so I would definitely be interested. I would have reservations about a fundamentalist Muslim, but would all depend on the person.

    I lived in Houston for 26 years...where were you! heheheh
    thanks for the response and honesty icon_smile.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 2:58 PM GMT
    People who are religious are not on the top of my dating wish list, so he would have to be someone to whom religion isn't a big deal, but who just happened to be born in a muslim family.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:01 PM GMT
    Yes. His faith is one more characteristic that makes him who he is. I would never have a problem with someone based on his faith.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:06 PM GMT
    If they were all as handsome as Barack Obama, yes, definitely.

    (That's a joke, btw)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:07 PM GMT

    The ones on OZ were hot, I'd date one like those.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:08 PM GMT
    One of my good friends is Muslim and I would LOVE to date him. Unfortunately...he's a muff diver. Lol. Gross. I know. But yeah, ladies only for him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:09 PM GMT
    judoguy saidPeople who are religious are not on the top of my dating wish list, so he would have to be someone to whom religion isn't a big deal, but who just happened to be born in a muslim family.


    Yup, I'm kind of the same. I would date a muslim, a christian, a jew and so on as long as they are not extremely religious. I'm not religious and would not want to date someone who is. At least not someone who HAS to go to church every sunday and who uses Christ in every other sentence. To me, if he is extremely religious then it is a deal breaker.

    I have friends who are muslim actually but the only thing that they actually follow is Ramadan and not every year. One of them is straight and he is as horny as they come and is always after chicks. The other is gay and he drinks a lot, curses and is a lot of fun to be around and he is also a bit of a slut so..
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 14, 2008 3:11 PM GMT
    I don't think I'd be comfortable dating a highly religious person of any faith.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:20 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidI don't think I'd be comfortable dating a highly religious person of any faith.

    ditto
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:22 PM GMT
    Without hesitation.
  • SanEsteban

    Posts: 454

    Nov 14, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    Sure I would! You date the guy because you like the guy... the religion is only a small facet of the total person! As long as he wouldn't mind dating a catholic! LOL

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:35 PM GMT
    KaSaZ saidSure I would! You date the guy because you like the guy... the religion is only a small facet of the total person! As long as he wouldn't mind dating a catholic! LOL

    Of Course - for me I would find it easier dating another person of a different faith then someone agnostic or atheist. And by dearest friend in the world - a Sicilian American - we came out together in college - and now he is becoming a Jesuit priest - a novice in training for another 8 or so years! And I am glad he found his calling. He struggled with the idea many years after we both graduated college.

  • Aquanerd

    Posts: 845

    Nov 14, 2008 3:36 PM GMT
    A date is the first step to learning about a person. So yes, I'd have no problem dating a practicing Muslim, as long as they had no problem dating a practicing Christian. I think that a moral code is a vital foundation to a strong and lasting relationship.

    I'd rather date a Muslim, Jew, Hindu, etc, rather than an agnostic or atheist. I have very good friends of differing faiths, and I have learned that at the core most religions have very similar values systems. Those that respect my beliefs we'll get my respect in return. Everyone learns and grows in their own beliefs by learning about others.

    One of my first relationships was with a great guy from Kuwait. We explored our emerging sexuality together when we were in college.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:41 PM GMT
    No, Anyone who denies the potency of Apollo is not my man.

    Actually I would not date any theist. I could not respect him the way you need to respect a lover and it would lead to a divide that would break us up anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:49 PM GMT
    It wouldn't matter to me...unless the guy had conflicts with his religion and being with me. But that could happen with any guy of any religion.. I wouldn't have the time or energy to be a shrink for someone who wasn't grounded in that department.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:50 PM GMT
    Honestly, I don't even know why it is a question. It's like saying ' would you date a Catholic or a Jew.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:54 PM GMT
    NMCWBY saidHonestly, I don't even know why it is a question. It's like saying ' would you date a Catholic or a Jew.

    Very good point NMCWBY - I wish it was just that simple. For me I have gotten all sorts of responses over the years. So it's interesting to see how people see it now. I tend to feel like the gay community should have a bit more time for spirituality - whatever path each person chooses. Seems like there is less time for that and more time for reality shows these days. . .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 3:56 PM GMT
    Sure. But probably not an extremely "orthodox" one, just because it wouldn't be a good fit for me to be with any person devoted to an organized religion.

    I was raised Catholic, and don't imagine I would find myself with a deeply religious Catholic either.
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    Nov 14, 2008 4:02 PM GMT
    My bf of 5 1/2 yrs comes from a fairly conservative Christian background and while I've (mostly) learned to deal with his foibles and issues, if we ever split my mind is made up never to get involved with a 'religious' guy again, whatever religion it may happen to be. I think there's a fundamental incompatibility between real, earnest belief, and my agnostic secular humanism. I've gotten used to the dissonance once, and find ways to deal with it for the sake of a relationship with someone I care for, but if I was single again, knowing what I do now, I would avoid it because belief and non-belief under the same roof make certain hopes for the future untenable.

    For instance, if I ever adopt kids, I specifically want to avoid any religious indoctrination and plan to teach that religion is a human creation-- understandable in a historical context but unnecessary in the age of reason-- in the hope they'd learn skepticism, and grow up to be rational-minded humanists unafflicted with fairytale beliefs. Meanwhile, while my bf fears for the souls of those who don't accept Jesus as their saviour icon_confused.gif I don't see much room for compromise there, and that will probably quash any chance of us ever adopting kids while we're together. I don't think it would be right for a kid to have one parent saying "religion is just superstition" in one ear while the other is saying "pray to god so you don't go to hell" in the other.

    So no.. I wouldn't date a religious believer again, whether that religion was Muslim, Christian, Hindu... even a Buddhist, and I'm very attracted to Buddhist philosophy and meditative practice. But as soon as it becomes a rigid belief dictating behaviour on the basis of some alleged esoteric 'knowledge of divine will,' I've got to take a pass. Eventually I'm bound to find something in their belief ridiculous.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 4:18 PM GMT
    No.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 14, 2008 4:24 PM GMT
    Thanks - imperator - for your response. Again I feel the same way when I meet very strict Christians - gay or straight!

    As a Muslim - my concern is my own salvation - in that sense - it is a very selfish act. What my partner, friends or collegues choose to do with their faith or spirituality is not my business. I just wonder if I can find someone who accepts my spiritual path without compromising his comfort and acceptance.