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Would you date a Muslim?
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 2:06 PM GMT
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QUESTION - If you found someone attractive, and learned they were Muslim -

Since I don't have many other gay Muslim friends to create an example from - I will go ahead and use myself. Politically, socially and religiously I am moderate in viewpoints - perhaps the best way to describe it is someone who was born and raised in western society, but practiced and lived in a Muslim household. That sums up me pretty much.

For me a Muslim is defined as someone who practices the faith (other the being gay of course) = Praying once a day at least - not drinking alcohol - not eating pork - and those are just the basics to get you an idea.
I don't have the opportunity to go to prayer services because it falls on Friday during the work day. If I had a choice and availability I would go because I always learn something new from the sermons.

I socialize like any other gay man (Not every weekend - but I do love to dance!). I do practice my faith in subtle ways. When I begin something ...even like lifting weights or starting my workouts I say under my breathe "In the name of God" in Arabic and end whatever I am doing by saying "Thank be to God" in Arabic. Btw - I do that even when I am in bed with someone. My concern is my own salvation - in that sense - it is a very selfish act. What my partner, friends or colleagues choose to do with their faith or spirituality is not my business. I just wonder if I can find someone who accepts my spiritual path without compromising his comfort and acceptance. I just want to have someone there waiting in bed as I pray and then we can hold each other and make love all night. That's all I pray for these days...

So I hope expanding on this question gets you an idea of what I meant.
Question - If you found someone attractive, and learned they were Muslim - What would you do? How would you feel? Would you date a Muslim?

AND PLEASE BE CANDID!

Thanks!
SurrealLife Posts: 4931
Nov 14, 2008 2:29 PM GMT
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Yes. I am agnostic and have "married" a practicing Catholic, so Muslim would not be a stretch for me. Mind you they would have to be a fairly moderate muslim. If the guy thought that women should not be allowed to work or drive, then there could be issues.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 2:36 PM GMT
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SurrealLife saidYes. I am agnostic and have "married" a practicing Catholic, so Muslim would not be a stretch for me. Mind you they would have to be a fairly moderate muslim. If the guy thought that women should not be allowed to work or drive, then there could be issues.

Those are cultural beliefs ...not religious beliefs. But thanks for the clarification.
ruck_us Posts: 791
Nov 14, 2008 2:49 PM GMT
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One of my best friends is a cultural Muslim, although not really a religious Muslim. I am really attracted to Arab and Mediterranean men, so I would definitely be interested. I would have reservations about a fundamentalist Muslim, but would all depend on the person.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 2:53 PM GMT
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ruck_us saidOne of my best friends is a cultural Muslim, although not really a religious Muslim. I am really attracted to Arab and Mediterranean men, so I would definitely be interested. I would have reservations about a fundamentalist Muslim, but would all depend on the person.

I lived in Houston for 26 years...where were you! heheheh
thanks for the response and honesty

judoguy Posts: 164
Nov 14, 2008 2:58 PM GMT
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People who are religious are not on the top of my dating wish list, so he would have to be someone to whom religion isn't a big deal, but who just happened to be born in a muslim family.
SinNombre Posts: 396
Nov 14, 2008 3:01 PM GMT
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Yes. His faith is one more characteristic that makes him who he is. I would never have a problem with someone based on his faith.
Global_Citize... Posts: 1026
Nov 14, 2008 3:06 PM GMT
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If they were all as handsome as Barack Obama, yes, definitely.

(That's a joke, btw)
GuiltyGear Posts: 3252
Nov 14, 2008 3:07 PM GMT
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The ones on OZ were hot, I'd date one like those.
SinNombre Posts: 396
Nov 14, 2008 3:08 PM GMT
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One of my good friends is Muslim and I would LOVE to date him. Unfortunately...he's a muff diver. Lol. Gross. I know. But yeah, ladies only for him.
Hidden/Deleted Member
Nov 14, 2008 3:09 PM GMT
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judoguy saidPeople who are religious are not on the top of my dating wish list, so he would have to be someone to whom religion isn't a big deal, but who just happened to be born in a muslim family.


Yup, I'm kind of the same. I would date a muslim, a christian, a jew and so on as long as they are not extremely religious. I'm not religious and would not want to date someone who is. At least not someone who HAS to go to church every sunday and who uses Christ in every other sentence. To me, if he is extremely religious then it is a deal breaker.

I have friends who are muslim actually but the only thing that they actually follow is Ramadan and not every year. One of them is straight and he is as horny as they come and is always after chicks. The other is gay and he drinks a lot, curses and is a lot of fun to be around and he is also a bit of a slut so..
Timberoo Posts: 3127
Nov 14, 2008 3:11 PM GMT
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I don't think I'd be comfortable dating a highly religious person of any faith.
Caslon8000 Posts: 8501
Nov 14, 2008 3:20 PM GMT
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Timberoo saidI don't think I'd be comfortable dating a highly religious person of any faith.

ditto
flieslikeabea... Posts: 115
Nov 14, 2008 3:22 PM GMT
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Without hesitation.
Kasaz Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
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Sure I would! You date the guy because you like the guy... the religion is only a small facet of the total person! As long as he wouldn't mind dating a catholic! LOL
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 3:35 PM GMT
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KaSaZ saidSure I would! You date the guy because you like the guy... the religion is only a small facet of the total person! As long as he wouldn't mind dating a catholic! LOL

Of Course - for me I would find it easier dating another person of a different faith then someone agnostic or atheist. And by dearest friend in the world - a Sicilian American - we came out together in college - and now he is becoming a Jesuit priest - a novice in training for another 8 or so years! And I am glad he found his calling. He struggled with the idea many years after we both graduated college.

Aquanerd Posts: 363
Nov 14, 2008 3:36 PM GMT
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A date is the first step to learning about a person. So yes, I'd have no problem dating a practicing Muslim, as long as they had no problem dating a practicing Christian. I think that a moral code is a vital foundation to a strong and lasting relationship.

I'd rather date a Muslim, Jew, Hindu, etc, rather than an agnostic or atheist. I have very good friends of differing faiths, and I have learned that at the core most religions have very similar values systems. Those that respect my beliefs we'll get my respect in return. Everyone learns and grows in their own beliefs by learning about others.

One of my first relationships was with a great guy from Kuwait. We explored our emerging sexuality together when we were in college.
geras Posts: 92
Nov 14, 2008 3:41 PM GMT
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No, Anyone who denies the potency of Apollo is not my man.

Actually I would not date any theist. I could not respect him the way you need to respect a lover and it would lead to a divide that would break us up anyway.
KissingPro Posts: 616
Nov 14, 2008 3:49 PM GMT
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It wouldn't matter to me...unless the guy had conflicts with his religion and being with me. But that could happen with any guy of any religion.. I wouldn't have the time or energy to be a shrink for someone who wasn't grounded in that department.
NMCWBY Posts: 3
Nov 14, 2008 3:50 PM GMT
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Honestly, I don't even know why it is a question. It's like saying ' would you date a Catholic or a Jew.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 3:54 PM GMT
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NMCWBY saidHonestly, I don't even know why it is a question. It's like saying ' would you date a Catholic or a Jew.

Very good point NMCWBY - I wish it was just that simple. For me I have gotten all sorts of responses over the years. So it's interesting to see how people see it now. I tend to feel like the gay community should have a bit more time for spirituality - whatever path each person chooses. Seems like there is less time for that and more time for reality shows these days. . .
cowboyo Posts: 570
Nov 14, 2008 3:56 PM GMT
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Sure. But probably not an extremely "orthodox" one, just because it wouldn't be a good fit for me to be with any person devoted to an organized religion.

I was raised Catholic, and don't imagine I would find myself with a deeply religious Catholic either.
imperator Posts: 193
Nov 14, 2008 4:02 PM GMT
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My bf of 5 1/2 yrs comes from a fairly conservative Christian background and while I've (mostly) learned to deal with his foibles and issues, if we ever split my mind is made up never to get involved with a 'religious' guy again, whatever religion it may happen to be. I think there's a fundamental incompatibility between real, earnest belief, and my agnostic secular humanism. I've gotten used to the dissonance once, and find ways to deal with it for the sake of a relationship with someone I care for, but if I was single again, knowing what I do now, I would avoid it because belief and non-belief under the same roof make certain hopes for the future untenable.

For instance, if I ever adopt kids, I specifically want to avoid any religious indoctrination and plan to teach that religion is a human creation-- understandable in a historical context but unnecessary in the age of reason-- in the hope they'd learn skepticism, and grow up to be rational-minded humanists unafflicted with fairytale beliefs. Meanwhile, while my bf fears for the souls of those who don't accept Jesus as their saviour I don't see much room for compromise there, and that will probably quash any chance of us ever adopting kids while we're together. I don't think it would be right for a kid to have one parent saying "religion is just superstition" in one ear while the other is saying "pray to god so you don't go to hell" in the other.

So no.. I wouldn't date a religious believer again, whether that religion was Muslim, Christian, Hindu... even a Buddhist, and I'm very attracted to Buddhist philosophy and meditative practice. But as soon as it becomes a rigid belief dictating behaviour on the basis of some alleged esoteric 'knowledge of divine will,' I've got to take a pass. Eventually I'm bound to find something in their belief ridiculous.
Luckydog76 Posts: 982
Nov 14, 2008 4:18 PM GMT
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No.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 4:24 PM GMT
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Thanks - imperator - for your response. Again I feel the same way when I meet very strict Christians - gay or straight!

As a Muslim - my concern is my own salvation - in that sense - it is a very selfish act. What my partner, friends or collegues choose to do with their faith or spirituality is not my business. I just wonder if I can find someone who accepts my spiritual path without compromising his comfort and acceptance.
ItMoons Posts: 65
Nov 14, 2008 4:35 PM GMT
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Are you kidding me?

Of fucking course.

We are all children of the universe, muslims included.

Of course, as a non religious person, we may have extremely differing views, but luckily, not unsimilar values.

But as long as we could work our ways around that, fuck yeah, bring it on, hell, i would date a Satanist if I found myself attracted to him*.

*not comparing muslims to satanists, just emphasizing that this kind of thing is a non issue with a mostly frowned upon religion
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 4:59 PM GMT
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ItMoons saidAre you kidding me?

Of fucking course.

We are all children of the universe, muslims included.

Of course, as a non religious person, we may have extremely differing views, but luckily, not unsimilar values.

But as long as we could work our ways around that, fuck yeah, bring it on, hell, i would date a Satanist if I found myself attracted to him*.

*not comparing muslims to satanists, just emphasizing that this kind of thing is a non issue with a mostly frowned upon religion

Thanks for sharing
AMT87 Posts: 846
Nov 14, 2008 5:11 PM GMT
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Honestly No...

About 6 years ago. My cousin's a doctor she dated a very sucessfull Islamic doctor she met during her residency. I knew my family dissapproved of it. But it was hidden from me.

My farther got drunk at dinner party in front and went on a very long biggoted rant to my aunt and uncle blaming islam for all the worlds social, political and economic problems. They didn't speak for quite a while after that.

Just in the last year or so by talking with one of my other cousins and some of her friends have I realized how deeply dissapproving they were and the length they went to to try and break that relationship.


Personally I could date a deeply religious person of any faith provided they respected the fact that i don't really believe in any of that stuff and didn't see it as their religious duty to change me.

penguin Posts: 185
Nov 14, 2008 5:11 PM GMT
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I am dating a Muslim - He is a well educated-professional and a fantastic man
meninlove Posts: 1830
Nov 14, 2008 5:17 PM GMT
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Hey Beefy Artist,

Religion has never been an issue with either of us.

We'll offer this:

When I met Bill he was an atheist. Now an agnostic as he's seen too much with me and what has happened with us in relation to those around us to think otherwise, says my Bill.

I've always been a deep believer, Christian, but abhor just about any form of organized religion. I'm very sceptical of any book or books that cram God into text and declares 'that's all folks!' I have friends that are devout Muslims, devout Christians, Jewish, Catholics, Evangelicals, Fundamentalists and Atheists. There are many paths up that hill. All deserve heartfelt respect.

We've spoken about one of us passing on through the veil and what the other would do. My feeling is that whoever the one left behind connects with will have a belief that will only be a small part of what makes them - them.

Hmmm, that was long, wasn't it?


-Doug of meninlove
MuscleGrapple... Posts: 15
Nov 14, 2008 5:18 PM GMT
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Hell Yeah ! .... especially if you sent Karam Gaber Ibrahim my way !
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 5:20 PM GMT
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AMT87 saidHonestly No...

About 6 years ago. My cousin's a doctor she dated a very sucessfull Islamic doctor she met during her residency. I knew my family dissapproved of it. But it was hidden from me. . .
Personally I could date a deeply religious person of any faith provided they respected the fact that i don't really believe in any of that stuff and didn't see it as their religious duty to change me.

Sorry to hear about your family's troubles...again I see how so many gay men are just afraid that somehow they will be forced to change or "convert" in someway. I hope you understand AMT87 and anyone else reading - I am more concerned about the idea of someone NOT allowing me to practice my faith. I never consider the idea of converting anyone.
Although I have so many of my friends asking for guidance and suggestions about all sorts of matters. Which I was at first uncomfortable doing, but now I readily do ONLY if they ask me to help them.
It must be in the blood...My father's family has a long line of doctors and diplomats while my mother's side has many scholars and religious judges.
A good balance I would say
Hagan_F Posts: 180
Nov 14, 2008 5:20 PM GMT
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Yes, why not?
a1972guy Posts: 2340
Nov 14, 2008 5:21 PM GMT
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As long as his practicing religious beliefs did not interfere with our lives, he respected my choices and friends as I did of his and so on....
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 5:32 PM GMT
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MuscleGrappler saidHell Yeah ! .... especially if you sent Karam Gaber Ibrahim my way !


I am drawing a blank on that individual...but I am sure he is HOT! hehehe
MuscleGrapple... Posts: 15
Nov 14, 2008 5:42 PM GMT
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Beefy_Artist said
MuscleGrappler saidHell Yeah ! .... especially if you sent Karam Gaber Ibrahim my way !


I am drawing a blank on that individual...but I am sure he is HOT! hehehe



Karam Gaber Ibrahim is an Egyptian wrestler who won a gold medal at the 2004 Olympics. I find Arabs to be attractive people in general, and he is smoking hot !!
EricLA Posts: 1347
Nov 14, 2008 5:58 PM GMT
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I'm not big into religion, so it would depend how their faith plays in their lives. If they could balance their live with their religion, and not let their faith adversely affect their sexuality, then sure why not?

Based on your description of how you practice your faith, I think it falls within me description above.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 6:06 PM GMT
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MuscleGrappler said
Karam Gaber Ibrahim is an Egyptian wrestler who won a gold medal at the 2004 Olympics. I find Arabs to be attractive people in general, and he is smoking hot !!

I remember now....WOOF!
Lost_In_The_M... Posts: 205
Nov 14, 2008 6:09 PM GMT
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ImperatorI don't see much room for compromise there, and that will probably quash any chance of us ever adopting kids while we're together. I don't think it would be right for a kid to have one parent saying "religion is just superstition" in one ear while the other is saying "pray to god so you don't go to hell" in the other.


I don't know, the truth often lies between two points.....
Hidden/Deleted Member
Nov 14, 2008 6:11 PM GMT
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No, but, I wouldn't associate closley with any heavy believers in false belief systems, whatever those systems. I'm equally fair with any other "religion" / "cult" / "belief".

At a personal level, it's difficult for me to allow folks that are so easily lead to get close to me, again, whatever those false beliefs might be. Faith is faith because it's not fact, but, a leap of faith to have any belief in.

I tolerate folks of "faith" until they start stepping into my space, then, I push back.

I'd no more date a Mormon, and a supporter of Prop 8, either.

I simply don't want weak-minded folks in my life. I'd never date someone like that, but, it's not exclusive to Muslim, as I said: I'm all-inclusive in my rejection of weak-minded believers of false belief systems across the board.

I see all the flame coming from those that have been indoctrinated since a young age (brainwashed), and, no, I can't prove it's false, but, a believer can not prove to me in a factual way that it's true, so I choose to error, if, in fact I am, on the side of science and safety. The world is not flat, even though the Catholics said it was for thousands of years, and chopped the heads from those who said otherwise...it's mostly round....that's science, and truth...not myth and falsehoods.
Lost_In_The_M... Posts: 205
Nov 14, 2008 6:13 PM GMT
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Actually I'm surprised how many people have said no!

Surely once you've got over gender barriers in gay dating, religious ones seem less important????
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 6:23 PM GMT
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chuckystud3 saidI simply don't want weak-minded folks in my life. I'd never date someone like that, but, it's not exclusive to Muslim, as I said: I'm all-inclusive in my rejection of weak-minded believers of false belief systems across the board.

To consider me weak minded because of my faith is a bit much Chuckystud3. And I presume Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Ghandi must be weak minded too. Or for that matter any Biblical figure or Prophet. It greatly concerns me that the extremism that occurs in this country is still prevalent in the gay community.
blinktwice4y Posts: 338
Nov 14, 2008 6:35 PM GMT
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i only date muslims.
Koaa2 Posts: 630
Nov 14, 2008 6:36 PM GMT
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Caslon7000 said
Timberoo saidI don't think I'd be comfortable dating a highly religious person of any faith.

ditto


ditto
charlitos Posts: 579
Nov 14, 2008 6:40 PM GMT
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blinktwice4y saidi only date muslims.





omg LOL, me too
eb925guy Posts: 991
Nov 14, 2008 6:41 PM GMT
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I probably would date them but not pursue a more serious relationship. I think it would be tough to have a very differing religious view. As a Christian with a strong faith I'm not sure building a relationship would work.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 6:41 PM GMT
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blinktwice4y saidi only date muslims.

HAHAHAH BRILLIANT!
RuggerATX Posts: 2920
Nov 14, 2008 6:42 PM GMT
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A better question is, "Would a Muslim date me?"
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 6:43 PM GMT
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str8hardbody saidOF COURSE !! Why not? If I'm physically & sexually attractive to this Muslim dude I will date & marry him. In fact, I dated one last year but we drifted about cause he wont go out to gay bars & clubs. i don't care what religion you are as long as there is an attratction between us I will date him. But please don't send me to Iran or Iraq "I'm not leaving without my daughter!!" Remember Sally Fields movie? hahaha that is is a no no .

I have no problems with bars....as long as the person i am dating or in a LTR can handle the fact I don't drink...you wouldn't want me to...I am silly as it is! heheheh
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 6:45 PM GMT
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XRuggerATX saidA better question is, "Would a Muslim date me?"

IN A HEARTBEAT! Handsome
Pattison Posts: 2103
Nov 14, 2008 7:24 PM GMT
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I used to sing with a gay chorus, and we had a gay Muslim singing with us. He was not born in the west. But he was one of the nicest guys in the group, and he and I got on very well. The fact that he was one of the least bitchy ones, and not a queen gave us a lot in common, compared to most of the other guys. If I didn't already have two husbands. I would of considered dating him.


Since One of my husbands is an Irish American catholic, and after the abuse I endured from the catholic church as a wee child, it's not one of my favourite religions, but thats never gotten in the way of us having a long term relationship.

So yes, I would.
RunintheCity Posts: 1571
Nov 14, 2008 7:25 PM GMT
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If he's cute, sexy, nice, smart, funny and doesn't have body odor (my #1 turn-off about anyone,) why wouldn't I????
FirefighterBl... Posts: 924
Nov 14, 2008 7:27 PM GMT
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given mutual attraction? absolutely.
DalTXhoss Posts: 97
Nov 14, 2008 7:34 PM GMT
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lets go off on a tangent. im muslim so.........

would you date me?
Texian Posts: 190
Nov 14, 2008 7:50 PM GMT
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It all comes down to personality and how he handles it. If it were to start intruding upon our lives in a negative manner, such as him trying to convert me or dictating our lives and how we lived them based on his beliefs, that could cause problems. Obviously, that goes both ways, so I'd keep my growing agnosticism to myself. What? 20 years of being raised Baptist doesn't go away overnight, you know.

If it's just his personal faith that he'll share with me if I ask (or even if I don't, once in a while) then there's no problem whatsoever.

I don't think orthodoxy is really a valid concern, as I suspect orthodox Islam would require a complete rejection of homosexuality, just like orthodox Christianity, so any gay Muslims are most likely not orthodox.
timidpup Posts: 154
Nov 14, 2008 7:54 PM GMT
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I don't think I would date a practicing Muslim... but that has more to do with I am not a fan of religion... if they were raised Muslim, sure... atheist arab/persian guy is even better. lol
TallGWMvballe... Posts: 1055
Nov 14, 2008 7:58 PM GMT
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As an atheist or agnostic at most but still very spiritual, I could NOT date a man who " When I begin something ...even like lifting weights or starting my workouts I say under my breathe "In the name of God" in Arabic and end whatever I am doing by saying "Thank be to God" in Arabic. Btw - I do that even when I am in bed with someone."

I could not respect someone who talks to an imaginary friend like that around others.... if he did in private and did not try to push his beliefs on me then maybe, but I suspect that strong religious beliefs would eventually make for arguments.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 8:13 PM GMT
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DalTXhoss saidlets go off on a tangent. im muslim so.........

would you date me?

Habibi Would I! ....to wake up to that sweet face would be a blessing
hehehe
ASH557 Posts: 111
Nov 14, 2008 8:15 PM GMT
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YES!

x
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 8:24 PM GMT
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TallGWMvballer saidAs an atheist or agnostic at most but still very spiritual, I could NOT date a man who " When I begin something ...even like lifting weights or starting my workouts I say under my breathe "In the name of God" in Arabic and end whatever I am doing by saying "Thank be to God" in Arabic. Btw - I do that even when I am in bed with someone."

I could not respect someone who talks to an imaginary friend like that around others.... if he did in private and did not try to push his beliefs on me then maybe, but I suspect that strong religious beliefs would eventually make for arguments.

I would suspect that for you, TallGWMvballer, being around someone who was sure of his beliefs would make you uncomfortable. Arguments happen often with friends. It often does with a close Jewish friend of mine.
And please don't disrespect me by calling my faith an imaginary friend...that was hitting a little below the belt. To say that means those who asked for guidance like Jesus, Abraham and Moses (peace upon them all) belittles what they gave to the world in self sacrifice and more importantly - an immense example of deep morality for the world to follow.
I say to myself and invoke a higher power in Arabic so I don't bother people at the gym or any other public place. Most just see a smile on my face when I do say it. Always try to keep things positive especially when doing leg squats (ughhh I hate them!)
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 8:39 PM GMT
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ASH557 saidYES!

x

THANKS handsome
GHoSTa Posts: 602
Nov 14, 2008 9:01 PM GMT
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I was muslim .. was ..

Now I don't belive in god ..and as you described a muslim person , I won't date him , honestly , even when love is strong it can't be strong enough to defeat the religious opinions differences ... sorry to say that ..

I don't pray or belive in holy books but I have my rules .. I don't eat pork for example cuz it's unhealthy .. as for alcohol I drink once a month ..

So the answer is no , cuz this rlationship is doomed from the begining ..
bgcat57 Posts: 1136
Nov 14, 2008 9:06 PM GMT
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Beefy_Artist saidAs a Muslim - my concern is my own salvation - in that sense - it is a very selfish act. What my partner, friends or collegues choose to do with their faith or spirituality is not my business. I just wonder if I can find someone who accepts my spiritual path without compromising his comfort and acceptance.


This the right response to me. I respect anyone with a moral code that is based on self improvement, helping others, and not harming or proselytizing others. I don't really care what the structure is (whether its secular or religious, formal or informal.)

The only other aspect that I would address is that there is no profound paradox between truth and faith. If your belief forces you to believe something that is clearly false, (i.e. it's a sin to be gay, or causing harm to others for 'their own good') then I would have a problem with the self hatred or whatever other manifestation of that conflict would create.
CitizenSol Posts: 559
Nov 14, 2008 9:06 PM GMT
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1. We click and easily relate.
2. He makes me hot just by listening to him.
3. We have similar interests.

You can be any religion you want if you hit all three of the above.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 9:15 PM GMT
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bgcat57 said
Beefy_Artist saidAs a Muslim - my concern is my own salvation - in that sense - it is a very selfish act. What my partner, friends or collegues choose to do with their faith or spirituality is not my business. I just wonder if I can find someone who accepts my spiritual path without compromising his comfort and acceptance.


This the right response to me. I respect anyone with a moral code that is based on self improvement, helping others, and not harming or proselytizing others. I don't really care what the structure is (whether its secular or religious, formal or informal.)

The only other aspect that I would address is that there is no profound paradox between truth and faith. If your belief forces you to believe something that is clearly false, (i.e. it's a sin to be gay, or causing harm to others for 'their own good') then I would have a problem with the self hatred or whatever other manifestation of that conflict would create.

Very little is written in any holy book about homosexuality ...The Quran has simliar verses like the Bible...dealing with Sodom and Gomorrah and the story Lot (pbuh). Many progressive scholars believe the sin described deals more with raping of men, the violence and the lack of morality occuring at that time. Hence, what I believe.
I never hated myself for being Gay or being Muslim - I struggled with how to behave properly. (thats what I hated about myself). I never felt comfortable doing anything too extreme in the bathhouse or in the mosque LOL. So I feel I have a better sense of balance which for me is the core of what Islam is about. And I hope to grow from there..hopefully with my lover and best friend.

Thanks for your response.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 9:16 PM GMT
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CitizenSol said1. We click and easily relate.
2. He makes me hot just by listening to him.
3. We have similar interests.

You can be any religion you want if you hit all three of the above.

NICE! THANKS for the response
samerphx Posts: 2081
Nov 14, 2008 9:17 PM GMT
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I won't mind date a Muslim guy or a Jew guy or a Christian guy lol... As long they worship the same God of Abraham.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 9:50 PM GMT
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sexysamer saidI won't mind date a Muslim guy or a Jew guy or a Christian guy lol... As long they worship the same God of Abraham

AMEN to that
FirefighterBl... Posts: 924
Nov 14, 2008 9:52 PM GMT
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DalTXhoss saidlets go off on a tangent. im muslim so.........

would you date me?


you bet i like your attitude on your profile
GQjock Posts: 4020
Nov 14, 2008 9:53 PM GMT
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Probably not .....

Not because of a "Muslim" thing

More because of the "god" thing
I'm not into guys who are religious in any way
samerphx Posts: 2081
Nov 14, 2008 9:56 PM GMT
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GQjock saidProbably not .....

Not because of a "Muslim" thing

More because of the "god" thing
I'm not into guys who are religious in any way

I won't mind date an atheist guy too lol
TallGWMvballe... Posts: 1055
Nov 14, 2008 10:05 PM GMT
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Beefy_Artist said

I would suspect that for you, TallGWMvballer, being around someone who was sure of his beliefs would make you uncomfortable. Arguments happen often with friends. It often does with a close Jewish friend of mine.
And please don't disrespect me by calling my faith an imaginary friend...that was hitting a little below the belt. To say that means those who asked for guidance like Jesus, Abraham and Moses (peace upon them all) belittles what they gave to the world in self sacrifice and more importantly - an immense example of deep morality for the world to follow.
I say to myself and invoke a higher power in Arabic so I don't bother people at the gym or any other public place. Most just see a smile on my face when I do say it. Always try to keep things positive especially when doing leg squats (ughhh I hate them!)



Well, sorry if you felt it was hitting below the belt as you seem like a nice guy, but to someone outside of religious dogma, it does appear that you and " those who asked for guidance like Jesus, Abraham and Moses" are indeed talking to imaginary friends. The problem is that when anybody has such strong belief in that which is NOT proven, not logical and which causes great harm we HAVE to take issue.
Examples; 911; those guys truly believed they were somehow doing good (god's work) christians during the crusades and the Salem whichthunts...people were tortured and murdered because the purportraters believed THEIR imaginary friends (god) told them to do this.
The Spanish tortured. killed and committed genocide on thousands because they saw them as infidels.


THAT is why I don't respect your faith in imaginary friends. I just wish religious believers could step outside the rhetoric and their training when they were young to take an objective look at ALL religions and see them for what they are and why they were created and what keeps their hold on populations and what GREAT HARM they have, are and will cause because of the want for power, wealth, control of the leaders and for everyone to act like they say is correct,
turk Posts: 387
Nov 14, 2008 10:09 PM GMT
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sexysamer saidI won't mind date a Muslim guy or a Jew guy or a Christian guy lol... As long they worship the same God of Abraham.
************************************************************************************************************** so budists or other far eastern religions ar not accepted? right
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 10:16 PM GMT
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TallGWMvballer [quote]said - Well, sorry if you felt it was hitting below the belt as you seem like a nice guy, but to someone outside of religious dogma, it does appear that you and " those who asked for guidance like Jesus, Abraham and Moses" are indeed talking to imaginary friends. The problem is that when anybody has such strong belief in that which is NOT proven, not logical and which causes great harm we HAVE to take issue.
Examples; 911; those guys truly believed they were somehow doing good (god's work) christians during the crusades and the Salem whichthunts...people were tortured and murdered because the purportraters believed THEIR imaginary friends (god) told them to do this.
The Spanish tortured. killed and committed genocide on thousands because they saw them as infidels.

THAT is why I don't respect your faith in imaginary friends.


Ok...those imaginary friends existed btw - and I don't talk to them - LOL.
What do those three individuals (Jesus, Abraham and Moses) have to do with all the terrible moments in history?
I follow their example (Jesus, Abraham and Moses) as a means to be a better and more decent person overall. When I say "In the name of God" and "Thank be to God" it is my way of celebrating life and the moment.
God doesn't need my thanks or my prayers. I need it! To remind myself each moment or each day how blessed I am....
And btw - alot of SCIENCE and HISTORY can be learned by those Holy books that you disregard so quickly. If it weren't for the Muslim empire ...the Greek texts would have been lost forever.
Best regards and have a good weekend.
samerphx Posts: 2081
Nov 14, 2008 10:17 PM GMT
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turk said
sexysamer saidI won't mind date a Muslim guy or a Jew guy or a Christian guy lol... As long they worship the same God of Abraham.
************************************************************************************************************** so budists or other far eastern religions ar not accepted? right

They accepted as well... I am pretty much open to everyone.
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 10:19 PM GMT
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turk said
sexysamer saidI won't mind date a Muslim guy or a Jew guy or a Christian guy lol... As long they worship the same God of Abraham.
************************************************************************************************************** so budists or other far eastern religions ar not accepted? right


Always keep my options open...since I am more interested in the Mystical aspects of Islam (Sufism) that has alot of similarities to Buddhism.
And also I do have to remind myself ......some Prophets have stated..there were many messengers never mentioned in any of the holy books.

Thanks for the reminder!
Beefy_Artist Posts: 187
Nov 14, 2008 10:22 PM GMT
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About to take off guys...will check up on the posts later this weekend...have a good one
MikePhilPerez Posts: 2984
Nov 14, 2008 10:45 PM GMT
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Pattison said
Since One of my husbands is an Irish American catholic,


Did you tell him, he's a Terrorist

Oh, that must be the reason he is not allowed in your bed. Afraid of what he might do. I bet you lock the bedroom door
turk Posts: 387
Nov 14, 2008 10:55 PM GMT
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considering those verses in bible and qoran mentioning sodom, how can a gay be rigidly religous of these religions. this is really weak-mindedness.
CitizenSol Posts: 559
Nov 14, 2008 10:56 PM GMT
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I'm an agnostic and I still don't buy the whole "religion is the root of all evil" shrill. The lust for power, fame, and fortune lie in non-believers too.
sbguy Posts: 20
Nov 14, 2008 11:07 PM GMT
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Sure. I grew up partly in the middle east and they have some real hot dudes there... Everybody is human and so it really depends on the person. But if that person is very fundamental in their beliefs-believeing something to be the literal truth -I may not be interested-that is any religion. But on the other hand I do like meeting different folks so as long as we can agree to disagree that is fine. My belief in God is vague-I believe but also think no one mind can comprehend the whole-so I like to explore different stuff...
MikePhilPerez Posts: 2984
Nov 14, 2008 11:21 PM GMT
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Would date a steroid taker
adventurejock Posts: 39
Nov 15, 2008 12:08 AM GMT
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I would date Irshad Manji

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irshad_Manji
TallGWMvballe... Posts: 1055
Nov 15, 2008 12:40 AM GMT
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Beefy_artist said, "Ok...those imaginary friends existed btw - and I don't talk to them - LOL.
What do those three individuals (Jesus, Abraham and Moses) have to do with all the terrible moments in history?
I follow their example (Jesus, Abraham and Moses) as a means to be a better and more decent person overall. When I say "In the name of God" and "Thank be to God" it is my way of celebrating life and the moment.
God doesn't need my thanks or my prayers. I need it! To remind myself each moment or each day how blessed I am....
And btw - alot of SCIENCE and HISTORY can be learned by those Holy books that you disregard so quickly. If it weren't for the Muslim empire ...the Greek texts would have been lost forever.
Best regards and have a good weekend."


What " ... imaginary friends existed btw" are you talking about? they all referred to god whose voice they claimed heard in their heads telling them what to do.

Those people are what others based the religions on that have to do with all those terrible moments in history.

Yes the Muslim Empire was responsible for saving some of the Greek text and yes, some science and history can be learned from those books (I NEVER mentioned holy books by the way)
You just have to look at them with objectivity realizing how, why and by whom they were written and the context of the times.

But to read ancient books, listen to a man on a pulpit, throne or in other ways, put him/her self ABOVE the rest of humanity and tell you what is right, what is wrong and to take action based on that such as strapping bombs to yourself and killing others or shunning or taking away others rights is BAD THINKING and WRONG!


By all means become a better and more decent person (as I suspect you are) but better to decide what that is on your own and not follow somebody else, a book, or religion blindly with BLIND FAITH.
Pattison Posts: 2103
Nov 15, 2008 2:23 AM GMT
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MikePhilPerez said
Pattison said
Since One of my husbands is an Irish American catholic,


Did you tell him, he's a Terrorist

Oh, that must be the reason he is not allowed in your bed. Afraid of what he might do. I bet you lock the bedroom door


Sorry mate what are you implying. My American husband is not a terrorist, he had this religion forced on him as a wee child. So why would I call him one?

You have no Idea what goes on in my bedroom and never will!

One has repeatedly asked to to stop your abuse with your personal attacks, and still you refuse to. Sorry I'm not responsible for you issues in life! Nor is One interested in you until you become verified, you you continue your abuse and stalking!

Oh One did once take about the catholic Church being the first religious terrorist org. And History confirms this. The dark ages, and look what they did to Galileo because he proved their teachings to be wrong. yet the Muslims got the label after one bad day.

but you took that upon yourself to played the victim as if I made a person attack against you..... Sorry I'm not responsible for your issues. Please stop harassing and abusing me.

lots are being said about the Mormons at the Moment. yet I'm not taking it personally. But hay why should I. just as I resigned from Catholicism, I have also done the same thing with the Mormons.

But as a child were I found the catholics cold cruel, and dictating. i found the Mormons to be warm and kind, and caring towards children. I felt safe wit them.

You once again twist the truth. Please stop stalking me.
ruffryderz Posts: 10
Nov 15, 2008 2:41 AM GMT
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I was born in a muslim house - the one that prays 5times a day.

I drink and go clubs ( which is forbiden in Islam)

So if my bf was muslim and he went clubs and drinking with me is he really a muslim?

Ppl ask me are you muslim? I say no but my folks are... and they go ahh you are muslim then too.. I am thinking no.. coz a muslim does not do things I do.. so I am not a muslim. It's not just believing in GOD ( allah), there is more to being a muslim. So a guy that drinks goes clubs and all is he really a muslim? Or he is just spritual?

It's like a club with no music and drinks.. ! That won't be a club!? Right?

I think muslims have too much restrictions and that would put me off.

So would I date a muslim dude.. No.

BradySF Posts: 544
Nov 15, 2008 3:10 AM GMT
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If you can read me Rumi or Hafiz in the original, its certifiably hot. Just saying.
polobutt Posts: 871
Nov 15, 2008 3:12 AM GMT
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I wouldn't hesitate dating someone raised in a different religion than me. I think it's terrible that an entire religion has been trashed and labled as terrorist becase of a few radicals.
caesarea4 Posts: 870
Nov 15, 2008 3:25 AM GMT
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XRuggerATX> A better question is, "Would a Muslim date me?"

An even better question in my case. (:


I once dated a guy from the Bible belt. It drove me batty that he would talk about Jesus as if he was in the room with us. We never had any alone time....

I seem to have a good history with "secular Catholics" and could see myself dating one of my "secular Muslim" friends... but less so someone who is religiously observant to more than a minimal degree.

Don't get me wrong, Beefy_Artist. I respect your right to believe. I just don't know that I could be that close to it.


GHoSTa> I don't eat pork for example cuz it's unhealthy

I think there was an article here on RJ about how a pork tenderloin can be pretty healthy (especially compared to red meat). A point my (secular) Catholic boyfriend took some glee in rubbing in my Jewish face. (:


Beefy_Artist> The Quran has simliar verses like the Bible...dealing with Sodom and Gomorrah and the story Lot (pbuh). Many progressive scholars believe the sin described deals more with raping of men,

The version in the Torah tends to condemn more the lack of respect for the guests (angels) than the homoexuality. Lot instead offers the mob his daughers (and that's just the beginning of the sordid stories about his daughters. Hmmm, I'm thinking this section probably has the same human author as the section about Noah and his son Ham).

Beefy_Artist> I never felt comfortable doing anything too extreme in the bathhouse or in the mosque LOL.

Which just goes to show you that there is a time and place for everything.


Question: how do you get around the no sex before marriage... or is that more cultural or have more to do with women than men?


Beefy_Artist> If it weren't for the Muslim empire ...the Greek texts would have been lost forever.

Well, more true of the Umayyad empire than the fundamentalist Almoravids and Almohads.

But you know what they say: If all the copies of a holy text were lost, they'd be gone for good. Scientific works which are lost are bound to be rediscovered. (A cute, even if circular, argument.)
Tayyyy Posts: 12
Nov 15, 2008 5:41 AM GMT
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I don't typically date religious guys in general.
Hunter9 Posts: 383
Nov 15, 2008 5:55 AM GMT
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i only read the subject and no responses, so perhaps this response has been previously stated, but....

I don't date anybody that believes in flying spaghetti monsters in the sky... be it muslim, christian, or jew (which i was raised). non-religious, non-spiritual guys of any background are ok (as long as they are hot)
Hunter9 Posts: 383
Nov 15, 2008 5:56 AM GMT
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as an addendum, i would in fact go on a date with a religious muslim, christian or jew just to satisfy my own curiosity... like going to the zoo and viewing all the freakish animals.

so i would go on a date with one of them, but i would not date one of them
s_daedalus200... Posts: 34
Nov 15, 2008 6:06 AM GMT
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Dating a Muslim?

Why is there a question? If one finds love, whatever the religion, perhaps the same religion that facilitates love, that strengthens the relationships, I wouldn't hesitate; I'm not sure why anyone would hesitate. If the purpose for raising the question has more to do with an overtone or innuendo of terrorism, then I think the question is irrelevant, particularly when many countless people have furthered such behaviors. Each of the three "revealed" religions, include--Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, so if each of these member communities provide love and support, and nurture and strengthen relationships, then -for me- there is no issue. I would date or "marry" a person of any faith. If one's religious faith impedes and harms the relationship, then...well, it's time to move on, perhaps.

So, if you're considering a relationship with someone whose faith tradition is Musim, or Judaism, or Christianity, then I say "Go for it!" You may find many blessings and, perhaps, a deeper spirituality, inherent a new family filled with fallible, human beings, like the rest of us.

Best of luck!
jprichva Posts: 226
Nov 15, 2008 6:40 AM GMT
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DalTXhoss saidlets go off on a tangent. im muslim so.........

would you date me?


No, but only because you're way too young.
Sedative Posts: 6092
Nov 15, 2008 8:53 AM GMT
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Honestly, can't really connect much with religious people. Be they Muslims, Christians, or Jews. Depends on the level of their 'faith' though.

Extremely religious people, certainly not. We'd end up killing each other. Moderately religious people, probably not, we'd still end up fighting.

I feel better around liberal religious people, agnostics, and atheists. Mostly anything but theists.

I do not discriminate based on faith or cultural background though.
pakgreekguy Posts: 366
Nov 15, 2008 9:20 AM GMT
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I myself am a Muslim(sufi)....and damn proud of it I may add......and have no problem dating anyone of any religous beliefs, as long as they were loving, caring, respectfull, individuals(hot looks dont hurt either )....though I would prefer somone who has belief in spirituality(paranormal activity), considering that I have had many unexplained ghostly encounters throughout my life(and many credible/sain) individuals who dont have any cognotive imbalances), who have shared the same/similar experiences..I have dedicated a lot of effort in the study of noetics, transpersonal psychology, spirituality, paranormal studies etc....and so therefore I am looking for a fellow mystic, seeker....what specific spiritual/religous path it may be is irrelivent....many different paths lead to the same destination..
GHoSTa Posts: 602
Nov 15, 2008 10:54 AM GMT
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ruffryderz saidI was born in a muslim house - the one that prays 5times a day.

I drink and go clubs ( which is forbiden in Islam)

So if my bf was muslim and he went clubs and drinking with me is he really a muslim?

Ppl ask me are you muslim? I say no but my folks are... and they go ahh you are muslim then too.. I am thinking no.. coz a muslim does not do things I do.. so I am not a muslim. It's not just believing in GOD ( allah), there is more to being a muslim. So a guy tha