Would you message a guy you vaguely know via Facebook to see if he might be interested?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 12:35 AM GMT
    So there is this guy that works in a bank I go in once or twice a year. Although, he does not make my gaydar go off, he has a public facebook profile that says he is interested in men, single, and utilized the red HRC equal sign for his profile pic at times etc. We are not facebook friends. I interacted a little with him the other day and was wearing my No H8 bracelet which he had to see, but he did not seem to make meaningful eye contact. Now I would not bother a man at his workplace. The only gay bar closed a couples years ago and apparently he frequents a particular straight bar per facebook, but I think it would be bad to start going there to see if an opportunity presented to talk to him. So would it be okay to message him via facebook since his profile is so public to see if he would be interested in talking on the phone or meeting up? Or in other words would you be creeped out?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 12:43 AM GMT
    I would keep making conversation at the bank. Who says anything about no flirting/asking someone out at someones work place?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 1:09 AM GMT
    Ask him, via Facebook private message (not wall message), if he'd like to have a drink with you at the straight bar he frequents. And then go from there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 2:02 AM GMT
    Do you have any mutual friends on FB?

    Another option is to start your own Meetup group and then start promoting it around town. Stop by the bank and give him a discrete, written invitation at the end of a transaction.

    But, if you not getting ANY meaningful eye contact from him, he's probably not interested anything you do at that point is creeping.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 2:46 AM GMT
    No No No No... Not me at least, People say they meet the love of their life on FB but I never understood how.. they just add strangers then meet up... So not fair when you are closeted it makes it even less likely haha XD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 2:58 AM GMT
    TheRece25 saidNo No No No... Not me at least, People say they meet the love of their life on FB but I never understood how.. they just add strangers then meet up... So not fair when you are closeted it makes it even less likely haha XD


    Never understood how???

    --think maybe this is how.


    Go for it and ask him to coffee.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 3:03 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    TheRece25 saidNo No No No... Not me at least, People say they meet the love of their life on FB but I never understood how.. they just add strangers then meet up... So not fair when you are closeted it makes it even less likely haha XD


    Never understood how???

    --think maybe this is how.


    Go for it and ask him to coffee.


    Well I cant really do that without risking them getting mad at me and outing me on my FB page haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 3:30 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidDo you have any mutual friends on FB?

    Another option is to start your own Meetup group and then start promoting it around town. Stop by the bank and give him a discrete, written invitation at the end of a transaction.

    But, if you not getting ANY meaningful eye contact from him, he's probably not interested anything you do at that point is creeping.



    First thank you gentlemen for the responses as they are helpful.

    GAMRican, yes we do have a few mutual FB friends. Perhaps one them could introduce us, but I prefer a more direct approach. Again, thanks for the response!
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Aug 13, 2013 3:40 AM GMT
    wouldnt he be concerned how you found his facebook profile? It could come off a bit stalkerish. If you know where he works maybe you could at least get friendly enough with him that a facebook add would seem more warrented?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 3:41 AM GMT
    IceBuckets saidI would keep making conversation at the bank. Who says anything about no flirting/asking someone out at someones work place?


    My thought is I do not want to make a guy uncomfortable in his work environment particularly in a public place. I have no problem approaching another man in person if I know he is on the same team and not surrounded by bunch of people. This is the first guy in some time that I am interested in that appears to not be dating someone else or in a LTR. Thank you for the advice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    I've heard of romantic connections from random FB browsing. But I think it takes the right kind of personality from both sides to make it happen. Or maybe the right introduction at least.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2013 3:57 AM GMT
    UKPharmboy said
    IceBuckets saidI would keep making conversation at the bank. Who says anything about no flirting/asking someone out at someones work place?


    My thought is I do not want to make a guy uncomfortable in his work environment particularly in a public place. I have no problem approaching another man in person if I know he is on the same team and not surrounded by bunch of people. This is the first guy in some time that I am interested in that appears to not be dating someone else or in a LTR. Thank you for the advice.

    I'm not saying throw yourself at him...be friendly, make some light conversation and then work your way into some conversations about "gay things" and then one thing leads to another....you're not going to ask him out in one shot. Learn about him. Be his friend.