The Most Hot and Cold Guy I've Ever Met

  • eagledreamer

    Posts: 198

    Aug 14, 2013 3:59 AM GMT
    I need to expert advice of RJ members on this one...I recently started dating a new guy, We've been talking for a couple of weeks (set up by a friend) and have seen each other twice now.

    At first, he would initiate many conversations and talk to me non-stop. Every text had a smiley face...honestly, I thought he was overly flirtatious. We went on a first date and it went really well. We had a lot in common, a few hours together flew by, and a good night kiss...the usual. I asked him on a second date for a few days later, and he immediately said yes, saying I was really his type and he liked me a lot.

    We talked non-stop between the first and second date, and the second date was a little more serious (dinner and drinks, then watched a show at his place). I thought the date went pretty well, so I asked him out for later in the week. He immediately agreed and said he had a lot of fun on our second date. We realized that because of obligations on our ends (mostly my end with work, but also a family obligation on his) we won't be able to see each other again for ~3 weeks.

    After finding this out, his texting stopped almost altogether. He will respond to me, but that's it. The smileys are gone, he takes hours on end to respond. I asked him if anything was up and he said it was just that he was a "notoriously bad texter" but that he "really liked me and I didn't need to worry."

    I've been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks so I'm obviously not that committed. I'm just confused because his words and actions are saying two completely different things. He acts like I don't exist yet insists he likes me. He will "read" any messages I send him on Facebook and barely respond.

    What do you guys think? My gut tells me to stop bothering with him and move on, but I feel like that's making assumptions and I'm not trusting what he's saying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    Give it a little more time, dial down the number of messages you leave him. Take another week or two, see how he responds. He may be into you, but he probably got busy or something. Stay optimistic, but always prepare for worst case scenario so you don't end up feeling like the Prince of Darkness is everything goes South.
  • eagledreamer

    Posts: 198

    Aug 14, 2013 4:11 AM GMT
    So it's inappropriate to ask him again, straight up? I'm not really into playing games and I would much rather just be honest about everything.

    It isn't a big deal if he's not into me, I'd just rather know than be in limbo. But I'm afraid asking him again would seem too crazy (though I'm really not coming from a crazy place).
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    Aug 14, 2013 4:14 AM GMT
    It is crazy if you ask him immediately, since he did say he's into you. If the cold spell lasts longer (say a week ten days), try calling him and then talk to him about it. Nobody likes said limbo, explain it to him that way, just more diplomatically.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2013 6:02 AM GMT
    well first of all, youre freakin gorgeous so the dude is probably stupid.... and secondly, I agree with the guy above. Give it some time. Im like you where I just want to know your answer, yes or no? yes? alright lets do this. no? well now i can move on with my life. Limbo is shitty, but sadly many people arent as straight forward as you probably. Perhaps he genuinely just needs time to think, or atleast thats what i say when i get mad at people like that.
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    Aug 14, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    k10malau saidwell first of all, youre freakin gorgeous so the dude is probably stupid....

    OP posted a similar plea for advice a guy that "was not that into him," a couple weeks ago,
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3298991/
    and admitted that he was a sock account. So the "freakin gorgeous" photo is unlikely to be his, and everything else in the profile could also be fake. Are we being trolled?
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    Aug 14, 2013 4:02 PM GMT

    It's been only 2 dates! You've contacted him a fair bit since the 2nd one and he's being reticent.
    So, leave him be; you've already lobbed a lot of balls into his court, so now you have to see if he's going to toss any of them back into your court. This is how you'll find out if he's interested or not.
  • eagledreamer

    Posts: 198

    Aug 14, 2013 8:43 PM GMT
    HikeSwimSkiSF said
    k10malau saidwell first of all, youre freakin gorgeous so the dude is probably stupid....

    OP posted a similar plea for advice a guy that "was not that into him," a couple weeks ago,
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3298991/
    and admitted that he was a sock account. So the "freakin gorgeous" photo is unlikely to be his, and everything else in the profile could also be fake. Are we being trolled?


    I don't want to sound rude, but I'm not a troll/sock account. That previous thread was a reference to my 1+ year relationship that ended a few months ago. Now I'm seeing a new guy (about 1.5 months later), and that's what I'm seeking advice on. Sorry for asking too many questions, I really appreciated the advice I got last time.

    And thank you to all the advice - I agree I need to leave the ball in his court. It's just the dramatic change in tone towards me that puts me off.
  • eagledreamer

    Posts: 198

    Aug 14, 2013 8:45 PM GMT
    And when I said that was a sock account, it was a misprint. I wrote out my post in a word document beforehand and originally planned on making a sock account...a decision I later changed. My profile is verified - not a sock.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2013 9:18 PM GMT
    Kids these days.

    Call him while he's currently away. There are so many more assumptions made between txt and facebook messaging. Just because he immediately responded to your txt before doesn't mean he's able to do so now.

    Just talk on the phone.

  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Aug 16, 2013 2:54 PM GMT
    k10malau saidwell first of all, youre freakin gorgeous so the dude is probably stupid....


    Pathetic Quote of the Week

    To the OP: The other guy just realized that he is not into you.