Your Too Shy Shy !

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2008 10:51 PM GMT
    Yes....you've heard the song....BUT I'm dating the man !
    *Sigh ! * I've been dating this terrific guy for a few weeks now.
    Love his company...sex is amazing....the only problem is he's very
    reserved with his feelings. Example....we're together ...I lean over
    and give him a quick kiss. His response ? "Oh Thank You !"
    I send him a flirtatious email ? "Oh Thank You !" Pay him a
    compliment ? " Oh Thank You !" We've talked a bit about
    this and from what I can deduce he's afraid of feeling vulnerable.
    Why ? We've already been intimate...we've told each other that we're
    interested...not ready to rush things..so....WHAT'S THE PROBLEM ?!


    Any advice ?
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Nov 14, 2008 11:11 PM GMT
    "you're welcome" icon_question.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 14, 2008 11:55 PM GMT
    MikePhil beat me to it !

    Yep... don't walk down that road before he does or else you're gonna turn around and nobody's gonna be there
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    Nov 14, 2008 11:59 PM GMT
    Not necessarily a problem, probably just his personality. I am very shy and reserved, but I have managed to become more sociable through the years. But when I am under a lot of stress I withdraw from people.

    You have only been seeing each other for several weeks. He will probably open up more as time goes on. Shy people are not that shy with people they get comfortable with, but it takes time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2008 12:53 AM GMT
    The following could be what's happening - show him this and ask........`







    ....and here's the lyrics



    You make me smile
    You make me sing
    You make me feel good everything
    You bring me up
    When I've been down
    This only happens when you're around

    And I can't go on this way...
    With it stronger every day...
    But being too shy to say
    That I really love you...

    I wanna fly
    Away with you
    Until there's nothing more for us to do
    I wanna be
    More than a friend
    Until the end of an endless end

    And I can't go on this way...
    With it stronger every day...
    But being too shy to say
    That I really love you...

    And I can't go on this way...
    Feelin' it stronger every day...
    But being too shy to say
    That I really love you


    good luck! - Let us know!

    -Doug of meninlove
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 15, 2008 1:21 AM GMT
    Some people were not raised in an environment where they were complimented often or where there were open displays of affection. Give him some slack.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2008 3:11 AM GMT
    Give him time. It takes a while for some guys to open up. Don't give too much just yet..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2008 3:30 AM GMT
    It sounds like he is unsure and maybe afraid of moving too fast to commitment .. He doesn't speak his mind maybe. I wonder if he would be more open if he got drunk?

    Too shy - Kajagoogoo
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2008 3:34 AM GMT
    Fuck him harder.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2008 3:36 AM GMT
    Being able to receive anything can be scary. It means opening up, which can mean getting hurt.

    I'd recommend telling him, when the time is right, "I want to show you how much I like you, yet when I give you a compliment you say 'thank you' and it doesn't seem to land. I'd like for you to really accept my affection for you because I do care about you and really want you to feel me."
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    Nov 15, 2008 4:30 AM GMT
    RunintheCity saidFuck him harder.



    Tried that already. LOL !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2008 4:39 AM GMT
    Thanks guys your ALL right. We did talk a few nights ago and I told him that
    I'm in no rush. I'm just enjoying getting to know him. He agreed. I said that
    I would give him as much time and space to open up as he needed.
    His reply ? " THANK YOU !!" LOL ! ( sorry...couldn't resist ! )
    No seriously...I feel like he moves 2 steps forward and 5 steps back.
    While I'm more than capable in being patient. It gets a bit frustrating
    sometimes. Ya know ?

    Anyway....Just needed to vent. I haven't given up on him yet ! ;- )

  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Nov 15, 2008 4:46 AM GMT
    MikePhilPerez said"you're welcome" icon_question.gif

    You quack me up!
  • ROYCE13

    Posts: 315

    Nov 15, 2008 4:54 AM GMT
    "a few weeks" good answer

    you said you have only been going out a few weeks, well to many people, now a days, are superficial and overtly complimentary with intimate things way to soon, like the first or second day. Therefore, people may be holding back to see if the feelings and compliments and etc... are sincere and from the heart and not the mouth. Being vulnerable is not the problem with most reserved people, but being vulnerable is more intimate than sex, and should be respected, then people open up and unleash themselves. Why go for the bang in the first week, month, life is to long (although short) to give everything up so fast. Let people be who they are, imagine what he might be thinking about you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2008 2:49 AM GMT
    ROYCE13 said"a few weeks" good answer

    you said you have only been going out a few weeks, well to many people, now a days, are superficial and overtly complimentary with intimate things way to soon, like the first or second day. Therefore, people may be holding back to see if the feelings and compliments and etc... are sincere and from the heart and not the mouth. Being vulnerable is not the problem with most reserved people, but being vulnerable is more intimate than sex, and should be respected, then people open up and unleash themselves. Why go for the bang in the first week, month, life is to long (although short) to give everything up so fast. Let people be who they are, imagine what he might be thinking about you?



    Well...it's been almost two months actually. But I hear what your sayin.
    Thanks !