New York Dating: Is It Really THAT Bad?

  • accelcar

    Posts: 3

    Aug 14, 2013 12:22 PM GMT
    Hey guys, I'm thinking of moving to NYC (Brooklyn) soon, but have only heard awful things about what it's like to date and find a relationship there. Am I just hearing stories from the wrong people?
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Aug 14, 2013 1:54 PM GMT
    There's unfortunately a hint of truth to the stories. Dating in NYC isn't for the faint of heart. I don't have a long track record.. but here's my latest: Met cool guy last Friday. We connected. Had a 'great' night (yep, sex!).. Here we are on Wednesday and no callback, or textback and no-hear. I texted him a couple of times late last night.. but.. looks like nothing will come of that. Ugh. A shame.. I really liked him.

    I think the problem with dating in NYC is that there's just too much perceived opportunity. Too many possible partners in a small area.. and most guys tend to dispose of new connections very easily because 'there's more great cock out there'.

    Just my take.
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    Aug 14, 2013 3:52 PM GMT
    PR_GMR saidThere's unfortunately a hint of truth to the stories. Dating in NYC isn't for the faint of heart. I don't have a long track record.. but here's my latest: Met cool guy last Friday. We connected. Had a 'great' night (yep, sex!).. Here we are on Wednesday and no callback, or textback and no-hear. I texted him a couple of times late last night.. but.. looks like nothing will come of that. Ugh. A shame.. I really liked him.

    I think the problem with dating in NYC is that there's just too much perceived opportunity. Too many possible partners in a small area.. and most guys tend to dispose of new connections very easily because 'there's more great cock out there'.

    Just my take.


    Good points.

    I think there are just too many options and guys don't want to settle there. If you look up New York guys on dating sites, it's overwhelming how many there are.
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    Aug 14, 2013 4:01 PM GMT
    It's tough because YOLO is the common theme in NYC. I just got lucky. Maybe you will too icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 14, 2013 5:53 PM GMT
    It couldn't be worse for me. Even the people on match.com in my area who have "liked" me don't respond when I write to them. What's up with that?
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    Aug 14, 2013 7:12 PM GMT
    I have nothing to compare New York guys to. Most of the guys I've dated have been cool, very nice and down to earth dudes -- just lacking chemistry. The only one I really liked over the past year+ was the only one who didn't have a real interest in me. Go figure.

    Also, I've only been dating for a little while so I don't have enough of a sample size. You need to have thick skin, but you need thick skin for everything in this city.
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    Aug 14, 2013 7:18 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidIt couldn't be worse for me. Even the people on match.com in my area who have "liked" me don't respond when I write to them. What's up with that?


    Keep in mind that a lot of guys can't respond to messages, as they're not paying for the extra features.
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    Aug 14, 2013 7:25 PM GMT
    PR_GMR saidThere's unfortunately a hint of truth to the stories. Dating in NYC isn't for the faint of heart. I don't have a long track record.. but here's my latest: Met cool guy last Friday. We connected. Had a 'great' night (yep, sex!).. Here we are on Wednesday and no callback, or textback and no-hear. I texted him a couple of times late last night.. but.. looks like nothing will come of that. Ugh. A shame.. I really liked him.

    I think the problem with dating in NYC is that there's just too much perceived opportunity. Too many possible partners in a small area.. and most guys tend to dispose of new connections very easily because 'there's more great cock out there'.

    Just my take.


    Sounds like Toronto except waaay more bottoms than tops!
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    Aug 14, 2013 7:41 PM GMT
    Phillips_73 said
    JohnSpotter saidIt couldn't be worse for me. Even the people on match.com in my area who have "liked" me don't respond when I write to them. What's up with that?


    Keep in mind that a lot of guys can't respond to messages, as they're not paying for the extra features.

    Ah ha.
    So a few guys who I'm attracted to "liked" me and there's no way to reach them.
    My frustration increases!
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    Aug 14, 2013 7:58 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said
    Phillips_73 said
    JohnSpotter saidIt couldn't be worse for me. Even the people on match.com in my area who have "liked" me don't respond when I write to them. What's up with that?


    Keep in mind that a lot of guys can't respond to messages, as they're not paying for the extra features.

    Ah ha.
    So a few guys who I'm attracted to "liked" me and there's no way to reach them.
    My frustration increases!


    I suggest looking on OkCupid and seeing if they're on there, as you can message them.
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    Aug 14, 2013 8:10 PM GMT
    accelcar saidHey guys, I'm thinking of moving to NYC (Brooklyn) soon, but have only heard awful things about what it's like to date and find a relationship there. Am I just hearing stories from the wrong people?


    Dating is fun and challenging--no matter where you live.
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    Aug 14, 2013 8:16 PM GMT
    PR_GMR saidThere's unfortunately a hint of truth to the stories. Dating in NYC isn't for the faint of heart. I don't have a long track record.. but here's my latest: Met cool guy last Friday. We connected. Had a 'great' night (yep, sex!).. Here we are on Wednesday and no callback, or textback and no-hear. I texted him a couple of times late last night.. but.. looks like nothing will come of that. Ugh. A shame.. I really liked him.

    I think the problem with dating in NYC is that there's just too much perceived opportunity. Too many possible partners in a small area.. and most guys tend to dispose of new connections very easily because 'there's more great cock out there'.

    Just my take.


    To play the devil's advocate:

    1. Perhaps you and Mr. One-Night-Only define "connected" differently.

    2. Perhaps you enjoyed the sex much more than he did.

    3. Perhaps Mr. One-Night-Only only wanted sex from you. It happens.

    4. Perhaps it's actually more of a "man" problem than a NYC problem.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Aug 14, 2013 9:27 PM GMT
    BlkMuscleGent said
    PR_GMR saidThere's unfortunately a hint of truth to the stories. Dating in NYC isn't for the faint of heart. I don't have a long track record.. but here's my latest: Met cool guy last Friday. We connected. Had a 'great' night (yep, sex!).. Here we are on Wednesday and no callback, or textback and no-hear. I texted him a couple of times late last night.. but.. looks like nothing will come of that. Ugh. A shame.. I really liked him.

    I think the problem with dating in NYC is that there's just too much perceived opportunity. Too many possible partners in a small area.. and most guys tend to dispose of new connections very easily because 'there's more great cock out there'.

    Just my take.


    To play the devil's advocate:

    1. Perhaps you and Mr. One-Night-Only define "connected" differently.

    2. Perhaps you enjoyed the sex much more than he did.

    3. Perhaps Mr. One-Night-Only only wanted sex from you. It happens.

    4. Perhaps it's actually more of a "man" problem than a NYC problem.


    And you may be right in all counts. Mr. One Night Only texted me back about an hour ago. He might end up becoming Mr. Two Night Only, we shall see.
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    Aug 14, 2013 9:45 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said Met cool guy last Friday. We connected. Had a 'great' night (yep, sex!).. Here we are on Wednesday and no callback, or textback and no-hear. I texted him a couple of times late last night.. but.. looks like nothing will come of that. Ugh. A shame.. I really liked him.

    This is exactly why I quit having sex on the first 3 dates when I was dating. I figured that if they really wanted to get to know me, they'd be back for number 4. Nah…it didn't work but it was a damn good theory! And the one I finally met has stuck around for three years…yay!
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    Aug 14, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    "I suggest looking on OkCupid and seeing if they're on there, as you can message them."

    OK. Thanks.