How do keep a carefree attitude when you're in a relationship/dating/fwb/whatever it may be?

  • fLiP21

    Posts: 48

    Aug 17, 2013 2:37 PM GMT
    I'm currently dating a guy that I really like.It's not that I want to be apathetic towards him but that I want to be more optimistic in general. We only see other like twice a month. The problem is that I sometimes feel like I can be overtly emotional and clingy in the time I don't see him, causing me to be distracted in everything else. Do you guys have any tips on how you stay care free? I know I should let things between us flow freely and that if things don't work out that it's probably for the better,but it's just hard to change my mentality.

    Thanks for your help!
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    Aug 17, 2013 3:49 PM GMT
    So technically ..
    .. It's not the Ideal setup.. But it is a start.

    Imagine walking into your bank.. Filling out a deposit slip for $1000 and only handing the teller $500.

    ..The only ways to resolve this would be to either "Label" the amount for what it is.. OR "Pay" the remaining $500 to have a solid agreement.

    If this is really the beginning or courtship phase or you just seeing a guy whenever he is around!.. It is what it is!

    ..If you feel you need more of him..Well.. It's because you do.. no need to convince yourself otherwise.

    If he were around more..you could get the right "Doses" of him to calm your cravings.

    If things don't work out that it's probably for the better.


    So maybe things need to mature a bit..or you two need to step it up.. A bit more effort before you consider the exit!

    Good luck mate icon_biggrin.gif




  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Aug 17, 2013 3:58 PM GMT
    Good subject. I'm in a similar situation right now. I met someone really cool last week. We're talking. I want to see him again, but I don't want to come across as desperate. Don't know what he'll end up being.. but I want to keep the communication flowing.

    I think you have to keep that communication bouncing with messages and pictures.. but not too much.. and make sure he's responding. Don't overcommunicate.. You make a move. Let him make one. That will tell you if he's interested.

    In the meantime, to keep your carefree attitude. Keep living your life. Meet with friends. Go to movies. Concentrate on work. Don't overthink things with the new guy. Give it time to develop and don't obsess. That's what I'm doing.

    And yes, keep chatting with new guys. I'm doing that too. Unless you've had 'the talk' with this person, you're technically single.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Aug 17, 2013 4:04 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidSo technically ..
    .. It's not the Ideal setup.. But it is a start.

    Imagine walking into your bank.. Filling out a deposit slip for $1000 and only handing the teller $500.

    ..The only ways to resolve this would be to either "Label" the amount for what it is.. OR "Pay" the remaining $500 to have a solid agreement.

    If this is really the beginning or courtship phase or you just seeing a guy whenever he is around!.. It is what it is!

    ..If you feel you need more of him..Well.. It's because you do.. no need to convince yourself otherwise.

    If he were around more..you could get the right "Doses" of him to calm your cravings.

    If things don't work out that it's probably for the better.


    So maybe things need to mature a bit..or you two need to step it up.. A bit more effort before you consider the exit!

    Good luck mate icon_biggrin.gif






    This is a great post. I agree with Anocxu. Label the amount $1000. You put in $500. And if he puts him his $500, then you guys are cool. Don't sweat it.
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    Aug 17, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    well currently i'm juggling 5 guys at the moment. I'm in the dating phase and it's really stressful, but with anything the way I like to go with things is to not expect anything, and not get my hopes up. It puts you mentally that if things don't work out that you can regroup and move on quickly without being hurt in the process.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    Mesmer saidwell currently i'm juggling 5 guys at the moment.


    5 guys ??? .... you better WERK !!!! lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2013 5:09 PM GMT
    @ sharky - I don't understand, but I would like to think i'm strong icon_smile.gif

    @ cooper- thanks? lol.
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    Aug 17, 2013 5:18 PM GMT
    Mesmer saidwell currently i'm juggling 5 guys at the moment.


    The force is strong with this one..
    Once again I've been out slutted..

    yoda.gif
  • fLiP21

    Posts: 48

    Aug 18, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    Thanks for your input you guys! I'm definitely not the type of person who likes to see multiple people at once when I'm dating, it's just not my cup of tea. I'll try to keep myself more occupied with school activities. The only reason why I don't see the guy I'm dating as often is because of how demanding his work is, more than 50 hrs. a week, not including his other personal work at home, ex. cleaning, cooking, etc.
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    Aug 18, 2013 9:01 PM GMT
    This is a hard thing to do. I have found success with imagining them to have a physical flaw they don't really have.