This is Day 39. I have already set into motion the course of events
required for me to die at the end of the 40 days. The longer I let
that course of events run, the more difficult it will be for me or
anyone else to stop it. By the 40th day the effects will possibly be
Thank you for participating and witnessing this, guys. I know that
some of you mean well, but there are those of you who don't, and don't
want to, mean anything at all.
I'm not saying this in anger, but just as an observation:
Many of the responses typed here show that the respondents probably
typed more words in response to what I wrote than the number of words they read in the
I do not see that anybody has picked up the perspective I am
trying to make the public aware of. The respondents are basing their
responses more on what they anticipate my blog says than on what it
actually does say. The mind boggles - why reply on a thread if you
don't want to know what's happening? Then again, that's your choice so
don't let me stop you. If that's how you make yourself feel better
about yourself, then please. By all means. "Ah, he's so condescending,
pay no attention to him."
I don't care if this begins and ends in absolute obscurity. I've got
39 days left.
Many of these responses tell me that a.) it's bad to commit suicide,
and b.) I shouldn't commit suicide.
I've been told that it is philosophically impossible to move from an
"is" to an "ought." That "it is bad to commit suicide" doesn't tell
me that I ought not to do it, unless someone leverages from what is,
what ought to be. I have already listed the conditions required for me
not to commit suicide. Meaning that I will not commit suicide if, and
only if, I believe that the perspective I have put out there has been
disseminated and understood and has saturated mainstream Christianity.
For me to ask people to agree with it possibly violates their
consciences; it is spiritual blackmail. I only want them to be aware.
"What you're doing is wrong, weak, pathetic, counter-productive,
you'll go to hell," etc. So? That is all on the "is" side of the
equation. I haven't gotten a single factor on the "ought" side.
Guys, this is a protest suicide. This is activism. This is something
very, very important to me and no one, by dismissing it, will make it
any less important to me only more. It is so important and personal
precisely because it doesn't matter to any one else that I personally
know in real life.
Not a single disparaging comment has the slightest power to move me
from my stance. In fact, they only spur me on so please continue
writing elaborate criticisms without knowing what I'm doing. It's
back-handed support, but it's more support than I've gotten from most
people I know in my personal life.
I protest the injustices happening to gay people especially here in
South Africa. We recently had 2 highly publicized gay weddings and 3
You guys there are thrilled with DOMA being overthrown. I'm thrilled
for you! We also have gay marriage and gay rights, but mostly on
But as a whole, in real life attitudes are worsening (unless you live
in some sheltered areas of South Africa) and I'm taking the church to
task for that because they've played a pivotal role in the shape of
the world as we have it. As long as the church isn't aware of what
it's doing, the hatred will keep returning.
If nobody has engaged the perspective I've written about then I will
end my life. "Oh, that's so stupid, that's so gonna achieve the
opposite of what you're aiming for, etc."
So? If I haven't seen results in 40 days, I'm killing myself. If it
takes 41 days and I'm not around, that doesn't change the parameters -
I have said 40 days and that won't change until someone gives me a
good philosophical reason for me to change it. That it would have been
better for me to stay alive and change minds in the longer run - that
"would have" leaves me cold; it is not an "ought." Not only that, it
reinforces my choice not to move from the "is" to the "ought" because
by showing me just how long it takes to get through to people, it
vindicates my stubbornness and increases my resolve, results be
I'm begging you, for your own dignity - don't give me a reason to
stick around past 40 days, unless and until you've read my blog and
passed it on.http://suicidewritesnotestoo.wordpress.com