Do you have real friends?

  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Aug 21, 2013 2:12 PM GMT
    Most of us are out of primary school and are well on our way to established relationships and careers. In the past year or so I have felt I've really developed great friendships. I have people who will truly go out of there way to help me and I will do the same for them. I actually professed to someone the other day, when I made their name a security question "Who is your best friend" that they were.
    I love having true friends and being a true friend.
    Have you found these in your life?
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    Aug 21, 2013 2:49 PM GMT
    I have 3 true friends and value them very much.
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    Aug 21, 2013 2:51 PM GMT
    are they available in stores?
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    Aug 21, 2013 2:58 PM GMT
    NOPE! I just have acquaintances.
  • KingsRansom

    Posts: 31

    Aug 21, 2013 3:08 PM GMT
    I've got a few real friends

    i think of how I got them and it's completely different to the way I approach guys on here, but some of them are so hot I can't think straight

    But I'm learning, thats why my shirt isn't off in a lot of my pics, I'm trying to actually get to know people...
  • warrior1234

    Posts: 204

    Aug 21, 2013 3:11 PM GMT
    Yeah I have one real friend.
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    Aug 21, 2013 3:13 PM GMT
    i'm lucky to have made some true friends
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    Aug 21, 2013 3:14 PM GMT
    lookin for some
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    Aug 21, 2013 3:15 PM GMT
    I have probably 4 true friends who I know I could rely on and trust no matter what happened. They are closer to me than family. We have seen each other at our most vulnerable and have also shared our most joyous times.
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    Aug 21, 2013 3:15 PM GMT
    I've got a handful, which is all anyone needs. Unconditional.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Aug 21, 2013 3:49 PM GMT
    i think that most people have found really great friends in there lives.
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    Aug 21, 2013 3:51 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc saidi think that most people have found really great friends in there lives.


    My Dad never did. Nor my mother. Both quite lonely people. It's sad to see.
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    Aug 21, 2013 3:55 PM GMT
    Im not the one for BBF's and such, but through not looking for friends, i stambled apon a few people are true friends to me. So answer is yeah!!!!
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    Aug 21, 2013 4:13 PM GMT
    My oldest friendship is with my mother's friend who my brother and I inherited. She's known us all our lives, having befriended mom when they were about 13. I'm also very close friends with her daughter (and just now I recall a non-lucid dream from last night about my phone pocket dialing her brother, weird, but me and she did exchange emails yesterday so maybe that's it).

    My oldest friend who I made on my own, I've known since the playground at about age 3 or 4 so friends now for only 52 years. Also I'm good friends still with some kids from grade school, one since about age 8 and two from 4th or 5th grade. And I'm still friendly with many of the kids from back then through high school. We'd be closer, but see each other every so often as not everyone has time for everyone.

    I made good friends in college and kept them for a while but most of those faded naturally by our relocations. I had colleagues who I thought my friends but turned out to be just situational friendships that ended when I stupidly retired and most of the people I made friends with during the rest of life moved away and also naturally faded, Florida being such a transient state.

    I had a group of gay friends from the 80s until about mid 90s when my closest friend of that group tried to get in my pants while he was in a monogamous relationship with another friend. Nothing happened, I was real nice about it, but then he turned on me and took everyone with him. I just walked away.

    I have family friends too, my mom having been a focal point for all them. We grew up with at least 60 cousins just on the one side meeting twice a year for parties. I just received a call from one cousin yesterday and on Thursday one of my favorites is coming to spend a few days here.

    I've been loved and I've been betrayed. The worst were the very long term relationships that failed: the last three were two 20-years and one cousin who was my supposed-friend since we were babies. I still can't believe what they did. My cousin has lost the respect of our entire family. I suffer betrayal trauma and struggle through it.

    Friendships are rewarding but not easy. You put a lot into it, you don't always get much back and sometimes you get burned. And I'm finding another downside to it now that I'm ageing. They're dying. And it's not just them, but their parents and their friends are dying and you can't supply yourself with a large enough stack of condolence e-cards. It gets to ya.

    When my mom was suffering Alzheimer's, two of my other friends were dealing with the very same thing at the same time, and other friends' moms had something else, I forget what. A whole group of us lost our mom's within six months of each other and then another friend's mom died a few months later and another right after that. It was sick. Because we were supposed to be there to support each other but we were all so wounded. Life can be a nightmare.

    When my mom died, my friend from the playground insisted against my wishes on being there for me. But her mom had just died, also of Alzheimer's, about a month earlier. She was sole caregiver so I knew she was weak. As mom wanted to be in the family plots, we flew up near my old school friends so I called two of them to escort my good friend to the funeral. And sure enough, in the middle of the service (I didn't see it but they told me) she fainted. I knew it. But I had my two other friends on either side of her and they caught her so she didn't get hurt.

    That's friendship, people who remind you why you are alive, people who keep you from falling into a grave that is not yet yours.
  • MarvelBoy23

    Posts: 279

    Aug 21, 2013 4:18 PM GMT
    I have a small group of really good, true friends. I've been blessed with great people in my life. There are about 10 of us, and I just wouldn't trade them for anything. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 21, 2013 4:19 PM GMT
    It is ironic to see that we're constantly surrounded by millions of people and yet very few or in some cases none of them are close to us.
    It's like you're in the middle of an ocean, but not a single drop can we drink from it, isn't it?
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    Aug 21, 2013 4:24 PM GMT
    I'm lucky to have a great group of friends. I first met them from my undergrad days; my workplaces; my Episcopal church; my alumni association; clubs I've belonged to; a gay mens' group, and last but not least - R.J. Some of these friends are women, but most are guys, and some are the partners of guys I've met. My s.o. relocated here from the east coast and stays in touch with a good number of his old friends, and has made all of my friends - his friends over the past 3 years.
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    Aug 21, 2013 4:29 PM GMT
    Harry7785 saidIt is ironic to see that we're constantly surrounded by millions of people and yet very few or in some cases none of them are close to us.
    It's like you're in the middle of an ocean, but not a single drop can we drink from it, isn't it?


    Then learn to dive, develop gills and breathe deep.

    "Deep in the sea are riches beyond compare. but if you seek safety, it is on the shore"~~Saadi, Rose Garden
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Aug 21, 2013 4:31 PM GMT
    I am starting to think I don't.
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    Aug 21, 2013 4:37 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    Harry7785 said

    Then learn to dive, develop gills and breathe deep.
    "Deep in the sea are riches beyond compare. but if you seek safety, it is on the shore"~~Saadi, Rose Garden

    Ha! good one, Thanks!
    I didn't give up hope though I often get let down!
    guess, we all have to improve our skills and dive a bit deeper.
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    Aug 21, 2013 4:42 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    Harry7785 saidIt is ironic to see that we're constantly surrounded by millions of people and yet very few or in some cases none of them are close to us.
    It's like you're in the middle of an ocean, but not a single drop can we drink from it, isn't it?


    Then learn to dive, develop gills and breathe deep.

    "Deep in the sea are riches beyond compare. but if you seek safety, it is on the shore"~~Saadi, Rose Garden


    +1
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Aug 21, 2013 4:45 PM GMT
    Real... friends? icon_neutral.gif
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    Aug 21, 2013 4:48 PM GMT
    I do, and I consider my friends my family so I have great friends and a great family.
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    Aug 21, 2013 4:53 PM GMT
    Nope. just acquaintances. could really use one.....or even just a workout buddy.....icon_cry.gif
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Aug 21, 2013 5:04 PM GMT
    I have a few really good friends....that are still alive
    two of my best friends in the entire world committed suicide on 6 years ago and one 5 years ago.. and another one was murdered by a serial killer .... back in the day which feels like things that happened to me in another life I had a small group of friends including those two...I was still living in south africa and suddenly I turned round and three were dead one was married and the other two had left the country ...so I was like the unicorn who forgot to get on the ark....even now the ones who are still alive are the only ones who know my secrets my heart...the only ones who did not abandon me after i left the fashion industry...these people all of them are the greatest human beings I have ever met ...this is why i make friends so difficultly not because I am fussy but because I have loved and been loved by the best.....now I have buddies...........but friends are far away...but still I feel their heart beats