Bar/clubs versus online sites

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2008 5:54 AM GMT
    Whatever happened to getting dressed and going out to bars and clubs? Now, some many of us don't do it anymore. We rely so much on the internet. Some people said: well I am not into the "scene" but those people are online all the time, different "scene??" icon_rolleyes.gif. Is it better? I heard so many stories about online faked profiles, misleading pics, guys using old pics, or even picks from different people, wrong information and so on... I still prefer to meet guys outside of my computer, where I can actually see a person face to face, have an eye to eye contact, and make my own conclusions about that person. But the internet became such huge part of our lives. Sometimes I wonder, how good is all this technology. Is it making us more social or anti-social?icon_redface.gif
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    Nov 17, 2008 6:18 AM GMT
    This is all over the place for me. I'd prefer meeting people in person, if most people would get from behind their computer. HOWEVER, the sight of a tipsy or drunk guy is also a huge turn-off for me, so I'd prefer it wasn't at a bar. A club-like restaurant, where people can be social with lots of strangers but have better options than liquor, would certainly solve this for me.

    I think we are more social, it's just not a healthier social scene.
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    Nov 17, 2008 6:32 AM GMT
    Yeah there's no club in Goldsboro NC hahahah
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    Nov 17, 2008 8:57 AM GMT
    Love the pubs. Good to see the person you're talking to face to face. Easier to tell when they're bullshitting!
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    Nov 20, 2008 5:24 AM GMT
    I guess lots of people prefer online communication
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    Nov 22, 2008 10:59 PM GMT
    Several years ago I started to prefer online because I had stopped drinking and moved quite a ways from where the bars were. Over time, I came to prefer it even more by meeting other people who didn't go to bars and being able to communicate somewhat deeply without being prematurely and disproportionately influenced by appearance.

    Down here in Mexico, however, I can't seem to find much online, so it's back to the bars. I still don't care for them, but I go back when all my reasons for not going (and I have a long list) start to fade.
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    Nov 22, 2008 11:42 PM GMT
    I guess I prefer online for many reasons. I've never been to a club, but I just don't think I would like them that much. I'm not really the type to let loose, and unless the facility is absolutely smoke-free I wouldn't be going anyway.
  • wvdave

    Posts: 20

    Nov 23, 2008 12:39 AM GMT
    I personally don't go out to the bars much anymore, just tired of the whole scene.
    The internet falls in both categories I think.
    I am not an out going person so for me to walk up and have a conversation with someone is difficult. But I have found myself talking to strangers on the internet.
    We don't however get the face to face contact.
    Also I have chatted with guys on the internet that I would consider to be out of my league if we were in person.

    As far as the fake profiles and such, do you think people always tell the truth when they meet you in a bar?
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    Nov 23, 2008 12:55 AM GMT
    well first off, the question implies that we all have an option- for many who are stranded in rural areas, or in crappy cities like my cincinnati lol, there really isn't a gay nightlife to explore.

    that said, IF one has the choice, it could further boil down to whether one is more of an introvert or an extrovert. personally, i hate being in a loud room full of hundreds of people- others thrive on it. if i want to go out and be seen, i'd rather it be somewhere neutral... not so saturated with... expectations. overwhelming parties and being swarmed with strangers just isn't my idea of a fun time.

    for still others it boils down to the 'lifestyle,' -clubs/bars are pretty damn gay lol. not a bad thing, just not everyone's cup of tea. from the 6'+ drag queens lumbering around, to the twinky manarexic little boys in girls tshirts, to the old queens and those who WOULD be attractive if it weren't for their flamboyant clothes, hair and attitudes...... well, im sure its fun when you're drunk but honestly its not terribly conducive to finding 'the one.' any more so than the internet is. for that matter its not really superior in 'connecting' with other gays. i feel i connect better to guys in here than i could if i met them in a loud crowded club. but yeah there are a lot of gay men out there who just don't get into the whole 'scene' described above- not because they're closed minded, but because they just don't like it or feel comfortable with it.

    and finally there's the convenience factor, in choosing the internet as a platform to meet men over clubs/bars. some people can and do get dressed up, liquored up, and hit up most nights of the week at clubs, but that lifestyle's just too exhausting for some... who prefer to sit with some hot tea or good wine in the comfort of home when looking to connect with other gay men.

    a final thought- are people any more 'real' or honest in clubs than they are online? sure they don't have the benefit of photoshop, but dishonesty wasn't born with the creation of the internet lol

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 23, 2008 10:25 AM GMT
    There's the ... WHAT?... WHAT? Can't hear a thing when people are talking to you
    and the lecherous drunken guys who think it's Okay to touch you where and when they want
    ... oh and the smell of stale beer and vomit is always pleasing

    ...... and then there are the Bars icon_wink.gif
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Nov 23, 2008 12:54 PM GMT
    Well the bars and clubs are shut, so the internet is about it right now.
    I think they just cross over each other sometimes.
    Apples and oranges..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2008 1:38 PM GMT
    Volunteerism Guys

    meet liked minded guys and do something worthwhile

    I'm just sayin'

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 26, 2008 8:46 AM GMT
    Yes I agree with some of you that bars are loud, or some people live in small cities where there is no bars or the bars really sucked, but, here is my question: "How do you know that the person you are chatting online is the real one or he is a fake?"
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    Nov 29, 2008 10:57 PM GMT
    Sometimes you just have a feeling
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    Nov 29, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    jockchicago37 saidYes I agree with some of you that bars are loud, or some people live in small cities where there is no bars or the bars really sucked, but, here is my question: "How do you know that the person you are chatting online is the real one or he is a fake?"


    Jock,

    Go with your gut feeling. I've always followed my gut in both business and life and it has never led me wrong.

    A person can be fake both on the internet and in the flesh so you have to "feel" your gut and see if it's telling you to stay, walk or run away.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2008 11:50 PM GMT
    Wouldn't it be great if we could just smile and meet guys in the produce section at the neighborhood grocery?
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    Nov 30, 2008 12:40 AM GMT
    Wow this is a pretty cool topic. The way I look at it is if you have something to hide then go online. If you have nothing to hide then go to the club. I've never really been to and actual gay bar. When I say that I mean a literal bar where there is no DJ or dance floor with light display. Just a straight up bar lol that targets gays. Never actually been to one. I have been to gay clubs before. My most favorite club in all of Las Vegas (Krave) happens to be a gay club. It's free for locals the bartenders and dancers are smoking hot and the music is pretty awesome. If you've ever tried club hopping in Vegas you'd understand why no cover for locals kicks ass. Unless you know somebody or have a great pair of tits you're going to have to shell out some cash to club hop icon_confused.gif I've used Craig's a lot to hook up. Mostly creepy out of shape older guys. I did hook up with a couple of total studs before but most often the guys who are out there are far from studsicon_confused.gif

  • Nov 30, 2008 1:30 AM GMT
    well I am having my first birthday party @ a gay club this year ever! i am inviting a lot of my str8 friends, but its really for my gay friends who is a small # of guys from my part-time job with my old friends...everyone is excited as much as I am so I can't wait!
    icon_razz.gif

  • Nov 30, 2008 1:31 AM GMT
    well I am having my first birthday party @ a gay club this year ever! i am inviting a lot of my str8 friends, but its really for my gay friends who is a small # of guys from my part-time job to meet and be social with my old friends...everyone is excited as much as I am so I can't wait!
    icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 1:49 AM GMT
    I find both options pretty tough if you're looking to make friends or find a partner. The online world is rife with bullshit while the bars are revolting in their Darwinian pursuit of the 'hot one'.

    Yes, it would be great to just meet a guy over the produce section. Do the str8's realize how lucky they are? There are so many opportunities to meet other str8 people. Whereas us queer boys have to always be sifting through the guys we meet trying to find that magical 5% who are gay. One of the main reasons we go online or to a gay bar is that you know you're dealing with gay men.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 3:04 AM GMT
    Online:

    1. no one touches you
    2. chicks dont poke your chest
    3. the weird guy talking to you is far away behind a computer
    4. You can ignore any weirdo you want.
    5.drinking your own booze
    6. not being forced on a dance floor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2008 2:50 AM GMT
    I prefer meeting people live and in person and I have a far far better success rate. After I turned 45 I practically became an online looser but I can't say if I have felt any rejection due to my age in the real world. I suppose I must have but then there are plenty of nice fellows in the real world that make me feel like I haven't aged a day.

    Yet bars aren't my thing. I don't drink much so when I go to a bar it is usually to grab a bite to eat and have a beer. That means I only go to straight bars. I also don't like staying out late. I prefer to meet guys on the street, beach, or at a gym but that only happens in the big cities.

    As for the creepy guys at the bars, you guys know full well they are out in full force online? For that reason I find online dating to be such a shot in the dark. Even if a guy has great pics, and looks like his pics, I can't tell if there is chemistry until we meet. You don't have to deal with that in the real world.

    I wish I were better at online dating as it is so convenient. I think it is just too late for guys my age. Online dating is all about fantasy and that is why age becomes so important.
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    Dec 02, 2008 4:34 PM GMT
    i like meeting people online and its fun to meet some really great guys. you end up becoming friends and being able to establish something while not having to meet each other at all? shows how great that is.

    although, i still love getting all dressed up and going out. i love dancing, drinking and mingling. i guess its a mixture of both, people tend to be more secure and relax online because its easier to be yourself or project more confidence if your not talking to the person face to face.
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    Dec 02, 2008 5:19 PM GMT
    There is a time and place for both....moderation when possible...(LOL - which I still work on with all the hot profiles on this site!)

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    Dec 02, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    My partner and I go to bars when we are on vacation. We love to dance. We never go to the bars here in Delaware. I don't even know where they are. It is not a good place to make gay friends. It is hard to meet gay couples anyway. We are monogamous and find a lot want to fool around. We met a couple possible friends online but they turned out to be flakes. LOL
    We have all straight friends. It would be really great to have Gay friends to hang out with but as I said they are hard to find. It’s impossible at bars.
    I enjoy the friends I have made here and talk to when I am off this site. Just wish they were local.