Gay club experience, the horror

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    Aug 23, 2013 5:26 AM GMT
    OK I HAVE to share this: straight friends convinced me to go to a gay club and I did. (Sorry this might be long - and I never do "blog" posts but I dont know where else to write this)

    Firstly the place was crowded mostly by men, where were the lesbians? who knows.

    The moment I enter there I feel totally out of place. Vomitive electro music was playing so loud you had to scream to be heard. I wanted to get the hell out of there right away but I see my friends ahead so I go straight to the bar and sit there. During that time 2 guys hit on me, one weirder than the other. I started to pay attention and the place was like a big orgy; I saw these group of 5 guys dancing and they would make out with each other. The barman asks if I want another drink I say "no" then he says "the action is in the restrooms". What. the. fuck? The bizarreness was getting started…

    The whole time I felt observed and very uncomfortable.

    Highlight #1: This skinny guy with no shirt and GLITTER on his body comes to me, he wanted me to lean over to hear what he had to say but I didn't, so the little fuck gets mad and pushes my drink shattering the empty glass on the floor and then he stays there acting totally girly-like saying "come and get me, come and get me". I know better than to react to that (because I wanted to strangle him).

    I try to find my fuckin friends and I spot one of my buddies with his girlfriend (soon to be wife) "dealing" with another guy who was clearly hitting on him, grabbing him by the arm, even when he was next to his fiancé!!!

    Highlight: 2 : When I'm paying the barman this guy comes from behind and hugs me. I turned around and push him away like what are you doing, and the guy start to do this exaggerated movement with his hand like he's sucking a dick. The barman saw everything and looked totally unimpressed, obviously this happens all the time.

    Highlight #3: I didn't see any of my friends anymore so I went outside which was crowded by the smokers (you can't smoke inside clubs) and 4 teens - they were no older than 20 - started to ask questions and tease me saying ridiculous dirty stuff. They were annoying, disrespectful and I felt like beating them to death, right there, but I didn't do anything, obviously. Then this bald guy, 40 years old who looked like he was dying of AIDS came to me and said "hey you, leave the kids alone!" …What? OK… I had enough, I come back to wait in my fuckin car.

    Conclusion: I've always had the impression the gay scene was slutty and promiscuous, but I gave them the "benefit of the doubt", but to be sincere Ive never imagined that would be so disgusting to the point I understand why the gays have so much AIDS. I mean, I'm open minded and everything, Im not a monk, but everyone inside the club had the only purpose of getting laid no matter who they did it with. Also everyone there were all weird or fairies, and the ones who looked normal enjoyed being there so they weren't very normal anyways. It was like a big orgy and I didn't even go to said restrooms. I'm fuckin disgusted by what I just saw. For my idiot friends this was just a bizarre fun night, but for me, it was something that changed me, I swear now I feel sorry to be a gay myself because now I understand how people see us, just like the sluts at that club. I was in that place 1 hour top and it was unbearable. And just for the record, this is the MAIN gay bar in the city, is not like we went to some underground weird thing. Does anyone think the same?
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    Aug 23, 2013 5:36 AM GMT
    That was an interesting read. There are many values that I disagree with gay culture but you summed up parts of it.
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    Aug 23, 2013 5:43 AM GMT
    I don't think all gays/bis at clubs like that act as you described them, but there are definitely an uncomfortably high number that do. I don't feel particularly comfortable unless I'm with guys/girls that I know I can just dance with on the floor and not worry about any bullshit.
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    Aug 23, 2013 5:43 AM GMT
    Wow, what a mess.

    None of that really sounds unusual though, just a normal night at the club (depending on where you go, ofcourse) as far as I'm concerned.
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    Aug 23, 2013 5:50 AM GMT
    Gays are sluts, this is not news. I laughed the whole time I read this. You just reminded me why I got off Grindr et al... I'd rather die alone.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 23, 2013 6:43 AM GMT
    Welcome to a flashback from the 70's where the back pool room was the orgy room ... before HIV there were a lot of places like that ... not so much anymore ... although I'm sure there are still a couple out there
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    Aug 23, 2013 6:53 AM GMT
    LOL. I think OP picked the wrong bar. Not sure what the gay culture is like in Uruguay. But in the US, not all gay bars are like that. There are also sports bars, dive bars, mixed gay/straight bars, etc.

    I just hope this ONE bad experience doesn't turn him into yet another self loathing homo.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Aug 23, 2013 7:23 AM GMT
    This is Uruguay? Sounds pretty sleazy. Try going to Buenos Aires for a weekend - where you might find some more civilized gay venues.
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    Aug 23, 2013 7:41 AM GMT
    The more repressed sexuality is, the more it will be explored. What you experienced was America 20+ years ago, before it because socially acceptable to be gay (in most places).
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    Aug 23, 2013 7:49 AM GMT
    I feel like I'm the only one who hasn't seen HORRIBLE things at gay clubs?... I mean I made out in a stall once w/ someone i was dating but... I mean, dat aint wrong... I think?
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    Aug 23, 2013 7:56 AM GMT
    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif Never been to a gay club. Thanks for experiencing it for me. I'll stick to my hip hop clubs.
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    Aug 23, 2013 8:28 AM GMT
    Lo5t5oul5 saidicon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif Never been to a gay club. Thanks for experiencing it for me. I'll stick to my hip hop clubs.
    Is the twerking better there? icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 23, 2013 8:31 AM GMT
    xrichx said
    Lo5t5oul5 saidicon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif Never been to a gay club. Thanks for experiencing it for me. I'll stick to my hip hop clubs.
    Is the twerking better there? icon_lol.gif


    Uh, yeah! But I don't think you'd like it, it's a lot of this...

    tumblr_mkk2odpFPI1r55j58o1_500.gif

    When guys do it, it's funny, but it really don't do anything for me.
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    Aug 23, 2013 11:38 AM GMT
    xrichx saidLOL. I think OP picked the wrong bar. Not sure what the gay culture is like in Uruguay. But in the US, not all gay bars are like that. There are also sports bars, dive bars, mixed gay/straight bars, etc.

    I just hope this ONE bad experience doesn't turn him into yet another self loathing homo.

    Agree. Not only are there different types of gay bars & clubs, targeting different gay groups, but all bars in general tend to have their own personalities. It largely depends on the group dynamic. Even the day of the week and the hour makes a difference, and if they're having an event that night.

    There are gay bars I dislike, as well as lousy straight bars. I wouldn't write-off all gay bars based on this one experience.
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    Aug 23, 2013 11:43 AM GMT
    David3000 said
    Highlight #1: This skinny guy with no shirt and GLITTER on his body comes to me...

    Like this? (Justin makes his move for Brian at club "Babylon" in the US TV production of Queer as Folk, watch at 0:30)

  • goodmagic

    Posts: 191

    Aug 23, 2013 12:04 PM GMT
    So is this a bar or a club? Why did you guys go there? and why is a guy with his fiance in a sausage party gay club? When you see a str8 couple in a gay bar like that they are usually looking for drugs. You knew exactly what you were getting into when you walked in the place. Seems like you were the only one not having a good time because your friends were not looking for you.
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    Aug 23, 2013 12:25 PM GMT
    lol sounds like a weird club to me. Ive been to so many gay clubs in Montreal and I have never had experiences anywhere close to that. I usually preffer gay clubs cause there is no dress code, random fist fights dont break out of the nowhere, the music tends to better and people are actually having fun and dancing. Most of the straight guys i used to work with would always hangout at the gay clubs with me to pick up girls there. So i dont know maybe you just went to a trashy club?
  • adultoreo

    Posts: 167

    Aug 23, 2013 12:59 PM GMT
    I have been to only 2 gay clubs in my life. One is in Montreal which was nice and fun and the other one is in Edmonton which is exactly how you described.
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    Aug 23, 2013 1:15 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    David3000 said
    Highlight #1: This skinny guy with no shirt and GLITTER on his body comes to me...

    Like this? (Justin makes his move for Brian at club "Babylon" in the US TV production of Queer as Folk, watch at 0:30)

    VIDEO

    Hahahaha! that pretty much looks like the club I just went to! icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 23, 2013 1:22 PM GMT
    goodmagic saidSo is this a bar or a club? Why did you guys go there? and why is a guy with his fiance in a sausage party gay club? When you see a str8 couple in a gay bar like that they are usually looking for drugs. You knew exactly what you were getting into when you walked in the place. Seems like you were the only one not having a good time because your friends were not looking for you.


    No...the reason I didn't have fun was because people were acting like disrespectful divas. And the reason my friends had the idea to go there was because I'd never been to a gay club before and they insisted I should get in touch with my 'gay side' or whatever. And I don't really have gay friends so I agreed to go with them but I don't see anything wrong with that, or with my friends who are about to get married going there either (who by the way had a great time) and no, no one wanted to buy drugs.
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    Aug 23, 2013 1:38 PM GMT
    That all sounds pretty horrible.
    Let me ask a question about the bars. All the gay bars I've been to in New York are so dark that you can't even tell if you're attracted to the person you're talking to. Are New York gays that ugly or what (I don't think so). Why do they do this? Do they do it in other states?
    I know bars like to play music loud so you can't talk and have to buy more drinks.
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    Aug 23, 2013 1:51 PM GMT
    Some people can act like total douche bags....However I do believe that you went to the wrong kind of club. Each social culture has a different lingo. The partying slutty divas is what people seem to look at more without guessing that there is more to life than that.

    Sorry if your first going out experience was bad..Trust me there are better venues out there.
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    Aug 23, 2013 1:56 PM GMT
    OP - yep, that's gay clubs for you.

    But, to be honest, straight clubs aren't much better.

    Stick to intimate bars, pubs and coffee shops. Much more pleasant atmosphere.
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    Aug 23, 2013 2:06 PM GMT
    David3000 said
    ART_DECO said
    David3000 said
    Highlight #1: This skinny guy with no shirt and GLITTER on his body comes to me...

    Like this? (Justin makes his move for Brian at club "Babylon" in the US TV production of Queer as Folk, watch at 0:30)

    VIDEO

    Hahahaha! that pretty much looks like the club I just went to! icon_lol.gif

    I thought you might say that. In the QAF series (US version) "Babylon" was often depicted as a meat market, and with drugs in the restrooms and other niches. I could therefore understand why that might have been an intense experience for you, I've been to some places like that myself.

    And didn't enjoy them. So I just found places more to my liking, since I fortunately had some choice. And I think if a city can support a big place like a "Babylon" then it probably has smaller & calmer places, too.
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    Aug 23, 2013 2:07 PM GMT

    Maybe because I was a bartender for many years I'm not agreeing with you, your actions or your attitude. I've certainly been in places that were out of my element (like a NY bar with a notorious basement) that had a Felliniesque quality to it. I didn't partake, I merely observed. Sometimes bemused, sometimes curious, sometimes shocked.....but never angry.


    "and the ones who looked normal enjoyed being there so they weren't very normal anyways"
    Highly judgmental even to people who look "normal" enjoying themselves? In a Gay Bar it's not unusual for a CPA to be talking to a SM Master, or Drag Queen soaked in gin to be talking to a college student. Gay people can and do coexist on many levels.

    " Im not a monk, but everyone inside the club had the only purpose of getting laid no matter who they did it with. Also everyone there were all weird or fairies, and the ones who looked normal enjoyed being there so they weren't very normal anyways."
    So everyone there were weird/faeries that were abnormal? And what about you....a Gay person in that very same Club?


    "so disgusting to the point I understand why the gays have so much AIDS"
    Disassociation?


    "Then this bald guy, 40 years old who looked like he was dying of AIDS came to me and said "hey you, leave the kids alone!" "

    I might be on his side! I'd like to hear his version. Are you assigning him AIDS?


    You wanted to beat-up the disco kid and the teens outside.
    NEVER cool dude! In the 20+ years I worked as a bartender in a Gay Bar I personally have only seen 3 acts of violence. Two of them were external "straight" sources i.e. off the street. One was a ex vs ex bitch fight that got bloody.

    " but I gave them the "benefit of the doubt""
    No you didn't. I don't know what sort of a high ideal Gay people and YOU are supposed to live up to, but you need to give everyone a break. And stay away from any Gay Club.