"He Is Out of Your League"

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    Aug 25, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    So when you're looking for a guy, and someone says he's out of your league, or the guy tells you that you're out of his league, to what is he referring?

    I mean... I own a home and I work a full-time job. I'm mature for my age and I am very respectful... What would be considered out of my league? On top of that, am I looking for guys that are out of my league? I would think my league is pretty high up there considering I'm good-looking and my life is on the right track. What do you guys think?
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    Aug 25, 2013 3:56 AM GMT
    EddyGordo21 saidSo when you're looking for a guy, and someone says he's out of your league, or the guy tells you that you're out of his league, to what is he referring? I mean... I own a home and I work a full-time job. I'm mature for my age and I am very respectful... What would be considered out of my league? On top of that, am I looking for guys that are out of my league? I would think my league is pretty high up there considering I'm good-looking and my life is on the right track. What do you guys think?

    Looks are subjective. So money and status aren't everything.
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    Aug 25, 2013 3:56 AM GMT
    They're bein shallow as fuck and tryin to get away from you. Ditch em. Lot of people don't care about social ability or financial success. You can be fantastic and awesome and great, but if you're ugly paired with these things (according to the person of course), they will say things like "I'm out of your league" to imply they think you're not attractive enough to them.

    -This is all said out of my personal perception of the phrase, i DO NOT think you are ugly, I'm just saying what I think they were trying to get across because they're a douche.

    EDIT: They are a douche assuming they lead you on, which I'm taking from your example.
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    Aug 25, 2013 4:08 AM GMT
    He most-likely isn't referring to your successes he's referring to your appearance.
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    Aug 25, 2013 4:28 AM GMT
    There's something seriously wrong with anyone who could get those words out of his mouth. Run don't walk.
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    Aug 25, 2013 5:46 AM GMT
    You should never befriend or even listen to people who say things like that. If you think you are the right match for someone, just go for it and talk to him/ask him out. I find even my closest friends often give bad advices due to their own prejudices/lack of knowledge. And it's not like God (or, more appropriately, Cupid) kills a kitten every time a person asks out someone he/she'd make a poor couple with.
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    Aug 25, 2013 7:04 AM GMT
    So what is it exactly that guys are really looking for if it's not looks, or someone who will compliment them in each category (heart, finances, beauty both inner and outer, intelligence)?

    This dating thing is so confusing!!!
  • SuperPump

    Posts: 242

    Aug 25, 2013 7:09 AM GMT
    Basically, he was saying "I'm too good for you, bro!"
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 25, 2013 7:19 AM GMT
    SuperPump saidBasically, he was saying "I'm too good for you, bro!"

    I don't think that is necessarily what he is saying .... I think it is used for an easy let down from ... Sorry you're not the one I want to spend the rest of my life with ... Sort of like wrapping rejection in a compliment... At least it sounds like he is trying to be considerate of your feelings
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    Aug 25, 2013 7:21 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    SuperPump saidBasically, he was saying "I'm too good for you, bro!"

    I don't think that is necessarily what he is saying .... I think it is used for an easy let down from ... Sorry you're not the one I want to spend the rest of my life with ... Sort of like wrapping rejection in a compliment... At least it sounds like he is trying to be considerate of your feelings


    You think someone that says "I'm out of your league" is being considerate of your feelings?
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    Aug 25, 2013 7:28 AM GMT
    Slim2010 saidHe most-likely isn't referring to your successes he's referring to your appearance.
    This is the correct answer.
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    Aug 25, 2013 8:20 AM GMT
    It's time for some tough love!!!

    You have never heard of "out of your league"? Really? Like....really?

    Listen, you can't fuck a personality. A lot of times, some guys just want to get off. I could care less about how much you make, where you are from, or if you help your grandmother with groceries. If I'm horny and you are a fine piece of meat, then we are smashin.

    And let's face it, the hot, 6'2 model guy at the bar is not going to go home with the Shrek look alike. Even if has a nice job, nice house, and volunteers at the hospital. Maybe, if you are looking for a relationship, those things should be considered, but not for a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.


    So maybe that is what your friend is trying to tell you. And this all "lets hold hands and talk about inner beauty" makes you sound like the better man...but guess what?!?!?! You ain't getting laid with that thinking!!!

    So there!!!
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Aug 25, 2013 9:20 AM GMT
    Guys that think in terms of leagues are not worth your time. They tend to be highly critical and frequently don't themselves compare favorably to the standards they apply to others.

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    Aug 25, 2013 9:26 AM GMT
    People that talk in 'leagues' to describe ones appearance are not worth your time and generally show lack of intelligence, better to wait for someone who actually likes you for you, you will have to wait longer but it's worth it icon_wink.gif
  • matt207

    Posts: 9

    Aug 25, 2013 1:43 PM GMT
    I learned too see past physicality. I saw from within. The guy I am with has an awesome masc personality like me. He is cute but he's a little guy. I could care less about his bmi and height. A lot guys can't achieve this and I feel bad for them. I believe a lot of gays keep setting their bars higher and higher while missing out on some of the greatest guys they will ever meet.
  • seafrontbloke

    Posts: 300

    Aug 25, 2013 1:49 PM GMT
    I don't think there's any such thing as a "league" unless you're solely interested in looks. But what you want in a man (for short or long term) isn't necessarily what he wants and certainly not what the friend thinks.




    In the short term scenario everything can be positive but let down by a single factor, whether it's height or bmi or muscularity or or or ... But then again it might be 3am in a club and accessibility trumps all.

    You go for who you fancy, and ignore the naysayers.
  • outbackdude

    Posts: 242

    Aug 25, 2013 1:52 PM GMT
    He is being mean of course and that should tell you that its time to have better friends.
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    Aug 25, 2013 2:17 PM GMT
    matt207 saidI learned too see past physicality. I saw from within. The guy I am with has an awesome masc personality like me. He is cute but he's a little guy. I could care less about his bmi and height. A lot guys can't achieve this and I feel bad for them. I believe a lot of gays keep setting their bars higher and higher while missing out on some of the greatest guys they will ever meet.


    Matt
    Matt
    Matt, poor poor Matt.
    *sigh

    Op, you've clearly defined YouR league, so if someone tells you they are out of it, why is it confusing?
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    Aug 25, 2013 3:03 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    matt207 saidI learned too see past physicality. I saw from within. The guy I am with has an awesome masc personality like me. He is cute but he's a little guy. I could care less about his bmi and height. A lot guys can't achieve this and I feel bad for them. I believe a lot of gays keep setting their bars higher and higher while missing out on some of the greatest guys they will ever meet.


    Matt
    Matt
    Matt, poor poor Matt.
    *sigh

    Op, you've clearly defined YouR league, so if someone tells you they are out of it, why is it confusing?


    that makes sense... Considering the connotation of the phrase "out of one's league" I'll probably stick to never using it. Apparently, though, you're saying a league is more than just skin deep, correct?
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    Aug 25, 2013 3:08 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidIt's time for some tough love!!!

    You have never heard of "out of your league"? Really? Like....really?

    Listen, you can't fuck a personality. A lot of times, some guys just want to get off. I could care less about how much you make, where you are from, or if you help your grandmother with groceries. If I'm horny and you are a fine piece of meat, then we are smashin.

    And let's face it, the hot, 6'2 model guy at the bar is not going to go home with the Shrek look alike. Even if has a nice job, nice house, and volunteers at the hospital. Maybe, if you are looking for a relationship, those things should be considered, but not for a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.


    So maybe that is what your friend is trying to tell you. And this all "lets hold hands and talk about inner beauty" makes you sound like the better man...but guess what?!?!?! You ain't getting laid with that thinking!!!

    So there!!!


    Life is much more to me than "trying to get laid." I'm not trying to do that. I am not sure where I gave off the vibe of "not looking for a relationship," but that's not the vibe I was intending to give.

    It isn't that I'd never heard of the phrase, but that I'm trying to gauge what the accepted meaning of it is, hence the question "what would be considered out of my league?" I've never understood the jargon of different groups of individuals and typically I'm very undereducated when it comes to relationships, therefore I am attempting to become educated in the area.
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    Aug 25, 2013 3:12 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidIt's time for some tough love!!!

    You have never heard of "out of your league"? Really? Like....really?

    Listen, you can't fuck a personality. A lot of times, some guys just want to get off. I could care less about how much you make, where you are from, or if you help your grandmother with groceries. If I'm horny and you are a fine piece of meat, then we are smashin.

    And let's face it, the hot, 6'2 model guy at the bar is not going to go home with the Shrek look alike. Even if has a nice job, nice house, and volunteers at the hospital. Maybe, if you are looking for a relationship, those things should be considered, but not for a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.


    So maybe that is what your friend is trying to tell you. And this all "lets hold hands and talk about inner beauty" makes you sound like the better man...but guess what?!?!?! You ain't getting laid with that thinking!!!

    So there!!!



    Tough love, I see......sooooo when's the love part coming? icon_lol.gif

    For his point, jmusmc85 is on the right track... you sit down to a poker game with a hand of cards, not a baked good. This is of course assuming you are looking for these guys in a club, bar, or some other type of pick-up situation. These are meat markets for most people, where competition is 99% physical appearance. The other 1% is you better have good breath. If you don't, all that really means is that it's your face that's going to be buried in the pillow.

    As for "out of your league" - I have never heard a friend say this to me. A friend doesn't say that to you. It's just mean. And friends aren't (supposed to be) mean.

    If a guy I were interested in said it, I would most likely say something like "haha you're right" and walk away considering that bullet dodged. There are a million ways to let a guy down without being insulting or mean.

    Just be yourself, leave yourself open to whatever possibilities meeting new people bring. Whether it be a hookup, friends with benefits, friends, or a relationship. Or even in some cases, a rejection.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 25, 2013 3:12 PM GMT
    I personally find the phrase really irritating. I had someone tell me to my face recently, "you're out of my league, Chris". Of course I went off and wanted him to explain what he meant.
    We ended up having a very serious conversation after.
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    Aug 25, 2013 3:13 PM GMT
    Personally, I would not talk to the same guy anymore. Why would someone say that? Whatever his basis is, I don't think he should've said that. What he said was really shallow.
  • jordon21

    Posts: 43

    Aug 25, 2013 3:16 PM GMT
    EddyGordo21 saidSo what is it exactly that guys are really looking for if it's not looks, or someone who will compliment them in each category (heart, finances, beauty both inner and outer, intelligence)?

    This dating thing is so confusing!!!


    What exactly is it you're looking for? If you're looking for long-term relationship material, then you may be taking the wrong approach (judging from the superficial responses you're getting). I'm guessing that better prospects are found after withstanding a friendship basis first. If you're looking for hookups then get prepared for skin-deep judgments (which shouldn't be taken personally since you may not be everyone's cup of tea).
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    Aug 25, 2013 3:17 PM GMT


    "So when you're looking for a guy, and someone says he's out of your league, or the guy tells you that you're out of his league, to what is he referring?"

    He's inadvertently referring to the game-icizing of meeting someone and falling for them. For some people it's a game or sport. Ugh.