Guys who are "looking for friends"

  • Charlesray39

    Posts: 20

    Aug 25, 2013 11:37 PM GMT
    I'm just curious and I'm sorry if this has been discussed several times (I couldn't find anything exactly like what I'm talking about), so please don't bite my head off.

    I've noticed that on social (hookup) apps (Grindr, Adam4Adam, Jack'd)

    I see guys who have nothing but faceless shirtless pics of them flexing their muscles. So I read their profile and pretty much all they talk about is how much they aren't looking for sex and just want friends/chat.

    Why do they do that? It seems kinda weird that one would pull a bait and switch like that.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Aug 26, 2013 12:28 AM GMT
    No definitive knowledge here, but advertising works - you noticed them. If that's what your seeking, try them out - you'll quickly find out if they were really seeking friends. And I always wondered - how does one find a "friend" on the internet, just by saying that's what they are seeking? How can anyone get friends just by advertising for them? Is someone who responds admitting to being friendless?
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    Aug 26, 2013 12:49 AM GMT
    Lol. I see that a lot. "Just looking for friends" yet, they mention they're a top or bottom. Or they forget they selected NSA and hook-ups in the "Looking for:" options. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 26, 2013 2:48 AM GMT
    Sometimes they really are just looking for friends.

    I've gone out with some guys that have said that they've had relationship-oriented guys come on too strong too fast, so they put "looking for friends" as a way of getting to know a guy without have too many expectations upfront.
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Aug 26, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    Nude pic + "looking for friends"

    =

    "I'm really only giving up my ass for the super hot guys." icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 26, 2013 4:49 AM GMT
    It's insurance for when their boyfriends catch their cheating ass
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    Aug 26, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    It's code for "I'm a total slut, but I don't want my friends and associates to know about it"
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    Aug 26, 2013 6:26 AM GMT
    Charlesray39 saidI'm just curious and I'm sorry if this has been discussed several times (I couldn't find anything exactly like what I'm talking about), so please don't bite my head off.

    I've noticed that on social (hookup) apps (Grindr, Adam4Adam, Jack'd)

    I see guys who have nothing but faceless shirtless pics of them flexing their muscles. So I read their profile and pretty much all they talk about is how much they aren't looking for sex and just want friends/chat.

    Why do they do that? It seems kinda weird that one would pull a bait and switch like that.


    Reeled you in, didn't it?
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    Aug 26, 2013 11:30 AM GMT
    Charlesray39 saidI'm just curious and I'm sorry if this has been discussed several times (I couldn't find anything exactly like what I'm talking about), so please don't bite my head off.

    I've noticed that on social (hookup) apps (Grindr, Adam4Adam, Jack'd)

    I see guys who have nothing but faceless shirtless pics of them flexing their muscles. So I read their profile and pretty much all they talk about is how much they aren't looking for sex and just want friends/chat.

    Why do they do that? It seems kinda weird that one would pull a bait and switch like that.


    You posting shirtless/ faceless pics.... Whats the differance?
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    Aug 26, 2013 12:31 PM GMT
    Charlesray39 saidI'm just curious and I'm sorry if this has been discussed several times (I couldn't find anything exactly like what I'm talking about), so please don't bite my head off.

    I've noticed that on social (hookup) apps (Grindr, Adam4Adam, Jack'd)

    I see guys who have nothing but faceless shirtless pics of them flexing their muscles. So I read their profile and pretty much all they talk about is how much they aren't looking for sex and just want friends/chat.

    Why do they do that? It seems kinda weird that one would pull a bait and switch like that.


    Because they can.....lie, that is!
  • helloandgoodb...

    Posts: 620

    Aug 26, 2013 12:35 PM GMT
    Generaleclectic saidNude pic + "looking for friends"

    =

    "I'm really only giving up my ass for the super hot guys." icon_razz.gif



    ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!
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    Aug 26, 2013 12:48 PM GMT
    Why don't you answer this for us OP, since your profile pic is of your torso, and in your 'looking for' section, you haven't stated that you want a hook up, but for ''someone to hang out with from time to time, and see where we'll go from there''...

    Doesn't take a genius to realise the reasons why are numerous, one being, they don't want to put up a face pic, but still want an attractive looking profile, and nothing creates as much profile traffic as a good looking bod (on gay social apps/sites, that is).
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    Aug 26, 2013 1:33 PM GMT
    Well I posted on my pf that I'm looking for friends because I don't have any gay friends and I want to change that. Dating sites are probably the only place they have to connect with other guys who are gay. I don't see a problem with it.
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Aug 26, 2013 1:33 PM GMT
    I'm looking for friends and a workout buddy. But rarely do I ever hookup with a guy. I think there is a difference between mainly looking for friends and simply saying you are but instead fucking all of your "friends".
  • Charlesray39

    Posts: 20

    Aug 31, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    davidingeorgia said
    Charlesray39 saidI'm just curious and I'm sorry if this has been discussed several times (I couldn't find anything exactly like what I'm talking about), so please don't bite my head off.

    I've noticed that on social (hookup) apps (Grindr, Adam4Adam, Jack'd)

    I see guys who have nothing but faceless shirtless pics of them flexing their muscles. So I read their profile and pretty much all they talk about is how much they aren't looking for sex and just want friends/chat.

    Why do they do that? It seems kinda weird that one would pull a bait and switch like that.


    You posting shirtless/ faceless pics.... Whats the differance?


    I'm not "looking for friends"
    My pic is only faceless because my camermenship...ness sucks and so does my camera, that's the best angle I could get.

    _SAGE_ saidWhy don't you answer this for us OP, since your profile pic is of your torso, and in your 'looking for' section, you haven't stated that you want a hook up, but for ''someone to hang out with from time to time, and see where we'll go from there''...

    Doesn't take a genius to realise the reasons why are numerous, one being, they don't want to put up a face pic, but still want an attractive looking profile, and nothing creates as much profile traffic as a good looking bod (on gay social apps/sites, that is).

    Excuse that, that was my horrible attempt at being sly. I guess I do see your point though (changed)
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    Aug 31, 2013 1:42 PM GMT
    I think this is an enigma for all gay men. What straight men mostly talk about is women and sports - neither which I have any interest in. It makes it harder to make friends.
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Aug 31, 2013 2:31 PM GMT
    dc0776 saidI've gone out with some guys that have said that they've had relationship-oriented guys come on too strong too fast, so they put "looking for friends" as a way of getting to know a guy without have too many expectations upfront.


    That's the case for me. I don't want to hookup and I'm relationship-oriented. But I don't want to meet a guy in person, and take from the start that we're going to have a relationship. It's easier if we just hangout first and get to know each other without any future expectations - but people seem to forget this simple step.
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    Aug 31, 2013 2:31 PM GMT
    Normally it means they are only interested in "hot" friends too.
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    Aug 31, 2013 3:33 PM GMT
    Suetonius saidNo definitive knowledge here, but advertising works - you noticed them. If that's what your seeking, try them out - you'll quickly find out if they were really seeking friends. And I always wondered - how does one find a "friend" on the internet, just by saying that's what they are seeking? How can anyone get friends just by advertising for them? Is someone who responds admitting to being friendless?


    I agree
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    Aug 31, 2013 3:47 PM GMT
    Splendidus_1 said
    dc0776 saidI've gone out with some guys that have said that they've had relationship-oriented guys come on too strong too fast, so they put "looking for friends" as a way of getting to know a guy without have too many expectations upfront.


    That's the case for me. I don't want to hookup and I'm relationship-oriented. But I don't want to meet a guy in person, and take from the start that we're going to have a relationship. It's easier if we just hangout first and get to know each other without any future expectations - but people seem to forget this simple step.


    Same here.

    Often I have good chats with some of the guys that I message or message me. I think the problem with having the headless torso is that some people still see it as an invitation to send messages about webcaming or hookups.
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    Aug 31, 2013 4:00 PM GMT
    Sex may not be their primary reason for being there despite it being a hook up site. Some may actually like finding guys to chat with and if sex happens, great. Some may prefer to just develop a friendship before sleeping with every person on the site and this is their way of weeding out those that are there solely for the sex.
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    Aug 31, 2013 4:02 PM GMT
    Charlesray39 saidI'm just curious and I'm sorry if this has been discussed several times (I couldn't find anything exactly like what I'm talking about), so please don't bite my head off.

    I've noticed that on social (hookup) apps (Grindr, Adam4Adam, Jack'd)

    I see guys who have nothing but faceless shirtless pics of them flexing their muscles. So I read their profile and pretty much all they talk about is how much they aren't looking for sex and just want friends/chat.

    Why do they do that? It seems kinda weird that one would pull a bait and switch like that.


    In my experience, saying you want friends/chat is the only way on those sites to prevent a conversation from starting, "bottom or top?"

    They can still want to show their assets (shirtless pics) and want a conversation as well.
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    Aug 31, 2013 4:03 PM GMT
    Butt buddies. *wink*
  • Charlesray39

    Posts: 20

    Aug 31, 2013 4:09 PM GMT
    I hope I wasn't being misunderstood. I'm not against ppl looking for friends on gay social apps if they have tame/none sexual pics.

    I just found it weird that having a sexual pic on a notoriously sexual apps and then saying "I want friends" is kinda confusing. Why not just wear clothes? If your shirtless just to attract ppl does that really attract quality ppl?

    Sage and David confirmed my suspicious(by having me realizing I was doing it too)That they don't what to look like a slut(nothing wrong with sluts)or just for attention.
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    Aug 31, 2013 4:11 PM GMT
    I can relate to this very well. It means they do not want the sexual pressure and feelings of obligation of a "hookup." The minute you tell someone you're "looking", you get a million questions like "what are you into?....top or bottom?.....are you discreet?.....do you like to kiss?......how about rimming?"...........and the list goes on and on." I personally like a little mystery. I've tried telling guys I don't like discussing sex beforehand but they always end up being pushy anyway. Planning out sex just kills it for me, so yeah I have many times just said I am looking for friends.