Ever met someone who is so wonderful...

  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Aug 26, 2013 5:07 AM GMT
    and pure and lovely and magnificent? I apologize for all these pretty words, but I'm astonished and amazed at how beautiful life can be sometimes.

    It reminds me of this article I read, in which the first lines were, "Life can hum along at a moderate pace for years, or even decades, until one day..."

    I moved to New York a year and a half ago. I had lived here as a child, half in shelters and half in the foster care system. I went back to college and worked a lowly job. I was reminded of my existence only through occasional phone calls from family members who also lived in the city.

    On some nights, I went to bars and got drunk enough: enough to lose my mind, but enough to give me perspective. I made out with men of all ages, races, and "leagues". I talked to everyone. I listened even if I wasn't listening. I cried, not always on the outside. I screamed. There were nights when I went home with guys and we tugged on eachother's limp penises for a second and then passed out. The next morning, we smiled at each other and made coffee and hoped to see each other again. I needed these moments of humanity because I was so alone for so long and got too used to the feeling.

    At one of these bars, I met a boy who became a man, at first, aching for a former boyfriend and now, secure in his loneliness and sense of self. A year and a half later, I still love him with a dull certainty. I'm sure it will grow exponentially as I talk to him more, and I'm scared, because what if we never leave that bar, what if we never meet in the daytime. What if he moves away, finally tired of the draining NYC aura, and I never see him again.

    I love him because, if I never saw him again, a part of me would die.






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    Aug 26, 2013 9:56 AM GMT
    Life has not been kind to you ne? are u attracted to this guy or does he remind you of yourself and u are trying to save him?
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    Aug 26, 2013 10:52 AM GMT
    Shum buddy needs ja hug icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 26, 2013 11:14 AM GMT
    NeutralObserver saidThere were nights when I went home with guys and we tugged on eachother's limp penises for a second and then passed out.


    81961.gif
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    Aug 27, 2013 2:28 AM GMT
    I wish, man...
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    Aug 27, 2013 2:35 AM GMT
    Please take no offence, but it sounds like you would greatly benefit from a high quality, frequent therapy and life coaching.

    We could all benefit from them both, to varying degrees, of course. However, I get a sense from what you write that it would immensely help you move forward in your life, in more ways than one, all of which are of a particularly serious level of need.

    All the best.