I was cheated on twice, but now...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2013 3:06 AM GMT
    It all started with my first relationship. Everything sounded great, but actions said otherwise. Decided to give it a run before I moved in with him, and found him cheating on me while I was in the bed with him. That's right, he wouldn't let me see his tablet or phone the whole trip, but at one moment I glanced at it. Wouldn't you know - he's getting messaged on Growlr. I confronted him about it, but don't worry guys, he just wanted to feel "appreciated." You know, because your own boyfriend who gave his heart and soul to you wasn't good enough.

    I've been dating this current guy for 3ish month. He is one of the coolest people I've ever met. My family, friends, and co-workers all love him - despite him being 40 and me being 21. Nobody really finds it all that odd as long as I was happy, and I was, until last week when I flew out to Chicago to visit him. While he was at work I saw him talking to younger guys on Skype, sexually. The awesome part is he still kisses his ex-boyfriend and pretends it's no big deal either. What a keeper.

    So I haven't brought up the courage to confront him about it yet, but I will soon.
    ------------------------------------------------------------

    But you know what? Life is awesome. This opportunity has given me the chance to understand that life doesn't owe me shit. We sit here and complain like the world owes us something, and wait for things to change. I think I understood this earlier in life, but it's becoming a lot more apparent now. It's only until we find the motivation to change things that things truly change.

    These moments have given me the opportunity to meet new people, and appreciate the current friends and family I have. I appreciate little things, and focusing a lot more on making memories and holding onto them.

    I'm not going to pretend that I'm not sad or frustrated, but I'm rolling with the emotions and not dwelling on them. I'm kinda chilling, doing homework, and listen to sad songs right now, and I think I'll be okay.

    This is kinda a way of saying I won't be around on these forums lately. I'm not deleting my account or anything dramatic, and I may still browse, but it's just easier to do my own thing for a little bit, and I think I need to spend less time on the computer and more time with friends and family! icon_smile.gif

    I guess life punches you in the fucking face sometimes. It bruises you, breaks you, and molds you into a different person. The only choice in the matter is how we fix ourselves, and how we turn out when things heal.

    Much love and take care fellas,
    Josh
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    Aug 30, 2013 3:11 AM GMT
    Aww Josh. Come visit me. I'll treat ya right. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2013 3:17 AM GMT
    Guys suck. I tell myself I'm waiting to seriously date until after college, but I think that might just be an excuse to not do it now.
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    Aug 30, 2013 5:26 AM GMT
    Leaving him is the way to go,3rd times is the charm,you never know.
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    Aug 30, 2013 5:40 AM GMT
    It's nice that you're optimistic & I pity them for missing a great opportunity to spend the rest of their life with someone as honest as you are.
    It's not you that lose something, it's them....you gained something which many struggle to take it, a courage to withstand from the negative experiences.

    If life gives us lemonade, drink it
    If life gives us lemon, work hard to turn it into lemonade and drink it.
    I wish you All the best. ;)
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    Aug 30, 2013 7:57 AM GMT
    Ouch baby!!!!! its sucks ne!!!!! i agree, right now u need to chill and take a breather. Always remember any person wrong doing to you, is not by far a reflection of yourself. You'll be alright.
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    Aug 30, 2013 10:10 AM GMT
    "found him cheating on me while I was in the bed with him."
    The mental image was something quite different!

    " While he was at work I saw him talking to younger guys on Skype, sexually"
    Where were you? How do you know it was sexual?

    "The awesome part is he still kisses his ex-boyfriend and pretends it's no big deal either. What a keeper."
    Sarcasm aside, what's the big deal about kissing an ex? I do that with all of mine. It all depends on what kind of kiss of course.

    I don't know if I'd count Growl and Skype as
    "cheating" per se. I've made friends on similar sites. You are in Alabama, he's in Chicago....how often do you see each other? You need to discuss it with him and set some boundaries. He could be a real shit head, I don't know. Or just bad behavior.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Aug 30, 2013 10:17 AM GMT
    meeting people like this helps you find the true love of your life , the one who is still waiting for you somewhere out there icon_smile.gif
    I'm glad to see how optimistic you are.
    You're gonna see him soon <3
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    Aug 30, 2013 10:20 AM GMT
    You're too good a person for these clowns.
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    Aug 30, 2013 10:48 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear that josh, but, I think being cheated on once is enough for for me to walk out the door and never look back.

    best regards,
    Felix
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    Aug 30, 2013 4:36 PM GMT
    Im sorry to hear this Josh. But im glad you are staying positive and upbeat about it. You are definitely wise beyond your years. Like you said, sometimes life breaks us, and we just have to pick up the pieces and fix ourselves, but we become so much stronger when we do.

    Im always here if you need me. icon_smile.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Aug 30, 2013 4:55 PM GMT
    Blakes7 saidYou're too good a person for these clowns.

    Totally agree. Sorry to hear these guys don't recognize how very special you are. I think taking a break from the computer is a good idea even if it means seeing you post less frequently. (I always enjoy them.) Wish I had some sage words of wisdom but I don't. I know how painful life can be but it is also important to keep looking for and at the things that make us feel good about ourselves and life in general. That you can do that despite all the crap is one of the things that make you special. Everyone here appreciates you so don't be a total stranger!
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    Aug 30, 2013 7:16 PM GMT
    Josh, you deserve all the happiness in the world. Probably more so than all of us that post in this thread. You are one of the most amazing people.

    I am so sorry that life has thrown you some punches, but you have always handled yourself with the highest integrity. You are an example for us all.

    Here I have been sitting and feeling sorry for myself and my current predicaments today, and now you have helped me realize that life has handed me lemons, and now I just need some vodka and cocktails will be served!

    You are the best of the best.

    Hugs and more to you friend.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Aug 30, 2013 9:05 PM GMT
    You are a pretty awesome person! I wish I was able to cope with life's hardships as well as you do. Well good luck and have fun spending time with your fam and friends!
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    Aug 31, 2013 1:22 AM GMT
    So sorry to hear that you've gotten stuck with a couple of disappointing guys. You deserve to have someone who respects you, your feelings and is worthy of your trust.

    I do admire the way in which you are handling the situation and the way in which you are trying to find the silver lining. A sure sign of your maturity!

    Hang in there! Your guy is out there! icon_smile.gif