Why do so many "gay" men go for "straight" men?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2007 5:57 PM GMT
    Another controversial Topic. So, why?
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    Mar 20, 2007 6:11 PM GMT
    My experience is straight guys go for gay guys.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Mar 20, 2007 8:46 PM GMT
    I think it's the feeling of getting something that you're not supposed to have.
    When I was younger I constantly crushed on straight guys, which kinda REALLY sucked for me because they were always friends and I always respected their stated wishes - unless they made the first move, I wasn't going to jepordize my friendship on the off-chance they were lieing.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Mar 20, 2007 9:13 PM GMT
    Two of my most agonizing crushes when I was maturing as an adult had been on straight guys that I 'hoped' would be gay if I loved them enough. Guess what, they were not and I had a broken heart. I don't know why I fall for straight guys, but I do. I am getting better at it though because I see a lot of gay guys now that are so HOT!!
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    Mar 20, 2007 9:18 PM GMT
    They are insecure at nearly every level.

    They are "turned on" / want to be around people that are everything they're scared to be: confident, like themselves, accepted, and so on.

    Lots of gay guys have very, very, low esteem, and won't give themselves permission to like themselves.

    They go around empty.
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    Mar 20, 2007 9:20 PM GMT
    Ever hear the story about the difference between a "straight" guy and a "bi" guy?

    Well, all you need to a six pack and a dirt road. Most days, honestly, you don't even need the dirt road.

    Hee hee.
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    Mar 20, 2007 9:53 PM GMT
    Haha that is terrible but true chuckystud. I think this is becouse lets face it if most guy were gay at your school you would crush them. But it is mostly str ones so they are the only options. Also most guys that come out are the ones that act like girls, so they have to come out and no gay guy will say they had a crush on a transexual.
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    Mar 20, 2007 11:12 PM GMT
    i agree with cutejock,,,and that makes them bi ,,,not straight , right? or did i miss phychology 310-;)
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    Mar 21, 2007 12:51 AM GMT
    Based on my experiences with men, Straight men i tend to be able to get to know easier and can develope a friendship easier. Most likely because the sexual tension isn't in the way...There is more of a process you can go through in getting to know a straight man over a gay man...Most of the gay men i have gone out with or just have met for occasional meetings, sex seems to be the driving factor.
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    Mar 21, 2007 3:45 AM GMT
    I happened to pick up a copy of The Advocate (or was it OUT magazine?) and they have an article this month called "That straight flirt we all know..." It's about straight men who openly flirt (some even go further) with gay guys. It interviews mostly straight guys and asks what motivates them to hit on gay guys. The article is written for people with 8th grade educations, of course, so it fails to go in depth into the sociology, biology and pychology of straight men hitting on gay men. But the author touches on some interesting theories, but just barely.
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    Mar 21, 2007 8:17 AM GMT
    I agree with Cuteguy, its the straight guys hitting on the gay guy, the brushing up against the body in the locker room is so old, but its hot.
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    Mar 21, 2007 11:06 AM GMT
    This question is posted as if this is a factual statement.

    Where did one get this statement that so many gay guys go for straight guys...?
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Mar 21, 2007 12:19 PM GMT
    Why do so many "gay" men go for "straight" men?

    The answer is that Gay men go for any man, chances are that some of them would be straight.
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    Mar 21, 2007 1:31 PM GMT
    Yes, please.

    This is a famous trick by attorneys...ask a question posed in a way that to answer it you have to accept something that is not true or unproven.

    I don't believe that many "gay" guys go for "straight" guys? Who says that that's true?

    I think gay guys are attracted to guys, period. And, initially, some might mistake that attraction as a permission to move forward and make a "move." Or some might mistake gestures of friendship from the straight guy as "permission".

    However, if the straight guy is reciprocating with intimate behavior, say, kissing, hugging etc., the guy is BI and is confused. Not straight and being friendly.

    But I don't believe "so many" gay guys target "straight" guys.

    John
  • SDSportRyder

    Posts: 9

    Mar 21, 2007 3:17 PM GMT
    It is the 'age-old' idea that man (in general) wants what they can't have. However, I personally find straight men more attractive in the sense that they are typically masculine and don't display the stereo-typical effeminate qualities often associated with gay men. Yet, many will say that gay men are embarrassed by these effeminate qualities, therefore identify themselves as ‘straight-acting’ or ‘a man’s man’. I have had a few intimate encounters with straight men, and they admitted it was a fulfillment of a curiosity, or a personal dare of pushing the boundaries. At the end of the day, men are men…and we all share a common need…beer?
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    Mar 21, 2007 4:17 PM GMT
    Sounds like some one needs to define straight...

    In my book, if a guy is straight he has no interest (certainly no physical/sexual interest) in another guy.
    Any guy that does have a physical desire/interest in another guy(s) is either BI or GAY. Let's not confuse sexuality with "comfortable" verbiage...
    "I'm straight cuz I only date women, not dudes"... But I would let a guy suck my dick and/or vice versa - or my favorite - I'm on the DL --> Dude, if ya like guys and dick your not straight even if you are married and/or ONLY "date" women. And you're not "on the DL" you're cheating on you significant other and in denial!
    ...how's that for a rant?? {:-D

    I'd say that it comes down to: many gay men are attracted to masuclinity over the more effimenite guy, not so much a "straight" guy. Those that do have it for a straight guy, I think just live for the challenge - like breakin' in a bronco... and as said, who wouldn't love to break off a lil' o' dat??
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    Mar 21, 2007 4:23 PM GMT
    Not sure what makes this a "controversial" topic. I feel that it's more about personal preference. You can't help who you fall for, I find myself crushing on "straight" guys all the time. It's not that they are less 'fem', but that I find them attractive in some way. Maybe it's a pheremone thing.
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    Mar 21, 2007 11:33 PM GMT
    straight guys do outnumber us, maybe it just happens that we're surrounded by guys that happen to not be sexually attracted to other guys and that kinda frustrates some people.

    just thinking out loud here. human nature is to find suitable mates to procreate with, so straight guys would check out all these potential women to mate with and women would vice versa.

    with gay guys we search out for males to "procreate" with and since that the majority of potential mates isn't interested in doing so, it butts heads with our mentality so we pursue these "unattainable" guys in hopes that they will switch their mating instinct to suit ours.

    man, i'm talking so much crap here lol not exactly PC hahaha that's what happens when you go online before you eat breakfast!
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    Mar 21, 2007 11:47 PM GMT
    i agree with chuckystud

    "They are "turned on" / want to be around people that are everything they're scared to be: confident, like themselves, accepted, and so on."

    there's that saying about diggin a deeper hole for yourself or something like that, that comes to mind.

    personally, i just go for guys in general, if im attracted to a straight guy it's because he's attractive and i see qualities that i'd like in a bf, if he's not interested, just accept that he's not interested, straight guys aren't necessarily gay guys in disguise, different strokes....
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    Mar 22, 2007 12:59 AM GMT
    BodyWork4 said it best! He's right on target!!
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    Mar 22, 2007 2:22 AM GMT
    Don't confuse sexual harassment with sexual interest. It's as biological and normal as breathing for males to establish the pecking order. Sometimes that means "on your knees boy!" You know, prison sex. Just ask the beta male wolves what that's about....
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    Mar 22, 2007 11:30 PM GMT
    I wish its easy to find a straight guy who are interested gay guy like me =))
  • rmau

    Posts: 15

    Apr 02, 2007 12:04 PM GMT
    Ok let's agree to call the "straight guys" - straight identified guys.

    Personally, yeah I've been attracted to the odd "straight guy", but no less or more than to I would be to the next gay guy that caught my eye.

    Let's face it most guys you meet aren't necessarily carrying their GAY flag. So who knows who you're trying to pick up.

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    Apr 02, 2007 3:01 PM GMT
    I think the attraction to "straight" guys is usually only because of the masculinity.
    Seems there are so many gay men who are almost women.. excuse me while I throw up..
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    Apr 02, 2007 3:40 PM GMT
    Hey, guys. Idmalestudent, who started this thread, wrote me and asked me to let people know he's left the site, that he's severing relationships with all gay people in order to recommit himself to his marriage.

    Message delivered.