"str8" guy playing mind games with me..is he gay or straight and why??

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    Nov 19, 2008 9:30 AM GMT
    so there is this guy that everyone thinks is gay but he claims he is straight and swears he is not gay. he tells me he loves me, gives me kisses on my foreheead and recently it escalated to my cheek. he tells me that he doesnt want me to leave his life but here is the one big confusion.

    we got drunk at a party and i remember the whole night but i told ihm i forgot everything and i asked him if i did anything weird and he lied and said that i kept kissing him on the cheek but he didnt care cause he kept kissing me back. why the hell would he lie and say that???

    and do you guys think he is straight or gay...
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    Nov 19, 2008 3:12 PM GMT
    I think you should save yourself the grief and run, not walk, the other way. I know it's hard when a guy like this keeps dangling "the possibility" in front of you but it's just not worth the frustration.
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    Nov 19, 2008 3:13 PM GMT
    Anyone that plays games like that is not worth it. You will end up getting hurt.

    Hey may be curious...
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    Nov 19, 2008 4:10 PM GMT
    Games like this are just very hurtful...

    I've been involved with guys that arent sure they are gay but use me to be curious with like im just an object. Once im gone, only then do they see that i was worth something. Other then that it seems these games are part of making a relationship. My friends or former friends i should say have been so protective of me to the point of sending messages to a guy im dating, trying to make him cheat. They go so far that the guy turns his blame towards me.

    Im tired of these homo games, its really hard to deal with mean hearted people
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    Nov 19, 2008 4:22 PM GMT
    Speaking from the experience of dating someone who was all about games earlier this year, just forget about it and walk away.

    It's not worth your time or energy to deal with, and you'll probably just get hurt in the end.
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    Nov 19, 2008 4:22 PM GMT
    On the other hand ... maybe what looks like a game is an expression of utter confusion. That is, he may be more confused than you.

    There are guys - I knew a number of them when I was younger - who know they could enjoy sex with another guy, but don't want the conflict it will bring if it turns out they enjoy it a lot. In other words, they are possibly homosexual or bisexual but perceive that they can't handle the issues it brings up for them or their family or job or whatever.
    At one extreme of those guys are the ones who are flirtatious, etc, and seem to want the choice to be made by someone else, for them - someone who will seduce them into a discovery.

    It is possible that he's going through some mental and emotional gymnastics right now, just as you are. So take it easy, and consider talking about it. I'd expect denial on his part, which won't help you much, but might be his honest appraisal.
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    Nov 19, 2008 4:38 PM GMT
    Quit fuckin with him and let him figure it out on his own, or not.
  • EricLA

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    Nov 19, 2008 5:23 PM GMT
    He sounds like bad news, whether what he's doing intentional or not. Even he is legit in what he's saying, it sounds like you're vulnerable. You could or maybe already have fallen for him.

    I agree with the above. Keep away from him, or at least when he's being affectionate. Focus your energy on someone emotionally available to you.
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    Nov 19, 2008 6:10 PM GMT
    Sounds like he's playing games or is deeply conflicted about his own sexuality....or both. If you can keep yourself completely detached from him emotionally and refrain from becoming vulnerable, you might be of some help or at least get to watch an interesting show. It doesn't sound like it, though, so I'd echo the sentiment of "run away".
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    Nov 19, 2008 6:25 PM GMT
    run in the opposite direction (fast)
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    Nov 19, 2008 6:55 PM GMT
    Gay or straight, he's fucked up.

    Unless you're just incredibly desperate, and love all that drama and baggage, put some distance between you and him.

    This is just a plain common sense thing, and doesn't require lots of critical thought. Why on earth would one want to introduce someone so messed up into their lives?

    We pick and choose those we allow close to us. Inviting someone you describe is clearly silliness.

    Of course, if you're into dysfunctional folks, like drama, turmoil, and tons of bullshit, dig in.