Second chance for former flakes?

  • christastic

    Posts: 375

    Sep 01, 2013 5:24 PM GMT
    I had a date with this Korean guy last fall, and he totally led me on to believe that he's coming to the second date, only to cancel at the last minute.

    Anyway I recently messaged a guy on jackd, not recognizing its the same person since he had a new haircut and facial hair, etc, but he recognized me and seems interested. I'm tempted to let the past be the past and give the hottie a second chance, but my pride tells me to just ignore him... Argh
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    Sep 01, 2013 6:53 PM GMT
    Have him meet you where and when YOU know you will be somewhere and if he happens to show, wonderful. If not, then cross him off because he's not worth your time.

    I have little patience for people who disrespect my time.
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    Sep 01, 2013 11:41 PM GMT
    When you meet up with him, ask him why he cancelled the 2nd date. You'll have a better understanding if a 3rd date doesn't materialize.
  • christastic

    Posts: 375

    Sep 02, 2013 4:40 AM GMT
    Well he'll probably reiterate the same lame family emergency excuse just like the first time... when the truth - just as probably is 99% of the time - is that he found someone hotter and wasn't willing to tell me yet (just in case new guy doesn't work out) then forgot about me entirely.

    Almost everyone does this, but perhaps making him admit it will spoil the mood. I'm guessing most people willing to give a second chance will just pretend to buy the "nicer" excuse just to make things pleasant?
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    Sep 04, 2013 8:50 AM GMT
    Seeing as how he at least had the courtesy to cancel instead of stand you up, I'd say give him ONE more chance.

    What difference does nationality/background make anyways? icon_question.gif
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    Sep 05, 2013 12:17 AM GMT
    okonomiyaki saidSeeing as how he at least had the courtesy to cancel instead of stand you up, I'd say give him ONE more chance.

    What difference does nationality/background make anyways? icon_question.gif


    He was just being descriptive, "Korean guy" is like "a blond boy" or "a Latino Man"....nothing to read into from what he said.

    I'd say give it another shot. "Flake" sounds harsh for the given scenario. He did call, it may have been legit....and you may be a wee bit gun shy???? 99% and Almost Everyone doesn't do this! Don't throw out the babe with the bathwater.
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    Sep 05, 2013 2:10 PM GMT
    If he's Korean, give him a second chance.
  • christastic

    Posts: 375

    Sep 10, 2013 4:25 AM GMT
    unckabasa said
    okonomiyaki saidSeeing as how he at least had the courtesy to cancel instead of stand you up, I'd say give him ONE more chance.

    What difference does nationality/background make anyways? icon_question.gif


    He was just being descriptive, "Korean guy" is like "a blond boy" or "a Latino Man"....nothing to read into from what he said.

    I'd say give it another shot. "Flake" sounds harsh for the given scenario. He did call, it may have been legit....and you may be a wee bit gun shy???? 99% and Almost Everyone doesn't do this! Don't throw out the babe with the bathwater.


    Lol I wasn't born yesterday. There's a good chance he wouldn't hv followed up at all if I didn't text him "??" an hour before. People do this all the time. The only thing worse he could have done is be a sadist and actively lure me to the restaurant.

    I ended up just ignoring his messages after a final "you look good"
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Sep 10, 2013 4:57 AM GMT
    it should cause you no worries at 20 you should go on a lot of dates w diff guysicon_idea.gif
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    Sep 11, 2013 12:47 AM GMT
    In my personal experiences, I think some Korean gays are kinda Crazy Lol.....no for real! Depends on how cute he is but I would be wary to give flakes second chances. What if he stood you up or blow you off again? Lol Blah!!
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    Sep 11, 2013 12:54 AM GMT
    socalx10 saidIn my personal experiences, I think some Korean gays are kinda Crazy Lol.....no for real! Depends on how cute he is but I would be wary to give flakes second chances. What if he stood you up or blow you off again? Lol Blah!!


    Are they crazier than Mexican guys? Because they have more flakes than Tony the Tiger. We'll be having the best time in the world 1 week, and then they'll do something like go home with you after the club, and then drive off claiming some earth-shattering emergency. Or they'll talk about how much they miss and think about you ALL the time, and then do something crazy like disappear when you take them to a public venue, once again claiming some earth-shattering emergency. It's always a crisis. Most times though, it's just lies.

    That said...I'm on a plan of not giving flakes 2nd chance to flake anymore. Unless they are paying me money...no 2nd chances. In almost every case where a flake comes back around, they do it again and again for as long as you allow them.
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    Sep 11, 2013 1:24 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]FuzzyPecs25 said[/cite]


    Are they crazier than Mexican guys? Because they have more flakes than Tony the Tiger. We'll be having the best time in the world 1 week, and then they'll do something like go home with you after the club, and then drive off claiming some earth-shattering emergency. Or they'll talk about how much they miss and think about you ALL the time, and then do something crazy like disappear when you take them to a public venue, once again claiming some earth-shattering emergency. It's always a crisis. Most times though, it's just lies.



    Lol so now you don't like gay Latino/Mexican guys? Hahaha, I think some Mexicans I met are nice people. One of my bff gay friend is Mexican-American. I think it's maybe the Latin's intense attractions but that only means they're hot and passionate right? Anyway, I like Latin men but maybe you just met a lot of flakes in general, not bc of their race.
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    Sep 11, 2013 4:58 AM GMT
    lol U can generalize about Koreans but he can't generalize Mexicans?
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    Sep 11, 2013 10:25 AM GMT
    socalx10 said
    Lol so now you don't like gay Latino/Mexican guys? Hahaha, I think some Mexicans I met are nice people. One of my bff gay friend is Mexican-American. I think it's maybe the Latin's intense attractions but that only means they're hot and passionate right? Anyway, I like Latin men but maybe you just met a lot of flakes in general, not bc of their race.


    I do like Latino/Mexican guys. That's what made of a good majority of my past dates in the past 5 or so years. But, that doesn't detract from whatever behavioral traits they possess. It doesn't mean I don't like them. It's like how straight men say women are fucking crazy psycho bitches. Doesn't mean they are gay.

    Mexicans are very nice people, but they can be so nice that they'll tend to evade being real and upfront with people...which is an issue for me, versus a Puerto Rican that will get all up in your face and tell you what the fuck it is. Anything otherwise is being flaky, and you don't give those kind of people 2nd and 3rd chances.

    The nicest person in the world can resemble Beelzebub if they are being insincere in their kindness. Might as well be the enemy. You're no friend of mine.