Feeling insecure right now...Thoughts?

  • amb331

    Posts: 4

    Sep 01, 2013 7:22 PM GMT
    Hey guys - I'd like to share this story with other gay men since I've only received opinions from straight men after the situation happened.

    I'm a 24 yo gay guy living in Miami. I recently went to Twist in SoBe and actually was feeling pretty good about myself - I'd just gotten a new haircut and thought I looked GREAT.

    Anyways, I guess I wasn't drinking as much as I typically do when I hit the dancefloor and was a little rigid. A group of catty guys saw this and instantly took this as their opportunity to prey on me. The entire group begins mocking/mimicking my dance moves the entire night. I'd leave a room and they'd follow me to the next and continue to do their interpretation of my futile attempts at somewhat sober dancing.

    Later that night/morning around 5 am, I decide to go to an afterhours club (not gay) but to my surprise there are tons of gay guys there since its one of the few places still open that late in Miami. Not before long, who do I spot as they spot me? The group of guys from Twist, and they immediately start up their antics again.

    I'm not exaggerating, by the end of the night they'd gotten the ENTIRE afterhours club in on this mockery. I'd drank a redbull and was pretty jittery so I was biting my lip and people had even gotten this part of my moves down too.

    The night ended with the entire club engaged in a highly organized line dance of people doing various interpretations of my dance and me feeling pretty embarrassed about myself.

    I'd like to hear some feedback about this unfortunate night out:
    -Why are some gay men so catty towards each other?
    -Should I be feeling insecure about this?
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    Sep 01, 2013 7:28 PM GMT
    Pack mentality. They prey on the weak. So don't be weak. Next time bust a bottle over the pack leader. The rest will leave you alone after.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 01, 2013 7:39 PM GMT
    Mimickery is the sincerest form of flattery ... Are you sure the weren't mimicking your dance moves because they thought you were cool. You should have gone up and tried flirting with them.
  • amb331

    Posts: 4

    Sep 01, 2013 7:45 PM GMT
    I avoid conflict, so I didn't want to approach these guys. I also didn't foresee this going on all night. And I also was just shocked that this was happening to me - I'm not the best dancer, but I can definitely catch and hold a beat enough to get by.

    And I just didn't get the vibe that they were flirting with me - they were definitely more mean spirited than flirtatious.
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:40 PM GMT
    amb331 saidI avoid conflict, so I didn't want to approach these guys. I also didn't foresee this going on all night. And I also was just shocked that this was happening to me - I'm not the best dancer, but I can definitely catch and hold a beat enough to get by.

    And I just didn't get the vibe that they were flirting with me - they were definitely more mean spirited than flirtatious.


    But if you wanted to avoid conflict, why couldn't you end it right there? You could have confronted them right then and there. I would have walked up to the pack leader and shoved him a little and been like "Do you have a fucking problem with the way I dance? Because you can get the hell out if you do"

    They were assholes. Let's get that straight - most mature, educated, respectful gay men DO NOT treat others like that.

    Had you done something, they would have stopped picking on you. Because you "avoided conflict", they saw you as an easy target.

    Next time, speak up!
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:51 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif Whoa WOW GEEZ!!!

    This sound like a scene from a bad teen movie where all the popular girls get everyone to turn on the one shy girl who just wanted to enjoy her prom alone....

    So sad and childish of everyone there.. Really that is So crazy....

    If it were not true I would be laughing cause it is So Out there....hmmm

    They were obviously jealous and insecure themselves they put to much effort into hating on you

    Sorry icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:54 PM GMT
    I've never been to SoBe but I've heard nothing but bad shit about it. Don't walk in the sewer if you don't like shit.
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:58 PM GMT
    RickFL said
    amb331 saidI avoid conflict, so I didn't want to approach these guys. I also didn't foresee this going on all night. And I also was just shocked that this was happening to me - I'm not the best dancer, but I can definitely catch and hold a beat enough to get by.

    And I just didn't get the vibe that they were flirting with me - they were definitely more mean spirited than flirtatious.


    But if you wanted to avoid conflict, why couldn't you end it right there? You could have confronted them right then and there. I would have walked up to the pack leader and shoved him a little and been like "Do you have a fucking problem with the way I dance? Because you can get the hell out if you do"

    They were assholes. Let's get that straight - most mature, educated, respectful gay men DO NOT treat others like that.

    Had you done something, they would have stopped picking on you. Because you "avoided conflict", they saw you as an easy target.

    Next time, speak up!


    lol you didn't have to take it this far but Yes.. saying you don't like conflict will No Longer cut it!.. You have to stand up for yourself no matter how hard it maybe too.. those people at those clubs were going to remember you one way or another... Most would prefer to be seen as the guy who stood up for himself even if they lost to what happened after instead as a victim to be laughed at

    Not to make you feel worse it is just the truth... But I will not pretend I would have been hesitant, just saying what needed to be done...

    Don't let them scare you off, they will be back there... Go if you want and tell them off. Don't curse, Don't act like a fool, Don't fight just let them know they can't hurt you again...

    and Have Fun.. its a club icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 01, 2013 11:07 PM GMT
    TheRece25Don't let them scare you off, they will be back there... Go if you want and tell them off. Don't curse, Don't act like a fool, Don't fight just let them know they can't hurt you again...


    Well the goal is to let them know you have a problem with what they are doing.

    I think walking up to them and sharing some select expletives is an effective way of accomplishing that goal without getting kicked out of the club.

    That's just me though. Instead of being a pushover I choose to push back when I need to.
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    Sep 01, 2013 11:17 PM GMT
    RickFL said
    TheRece25Don't let them scare you off, they will be back there... Go if you want and tell them off. Don't curse, Don't act like a fool, Don't fight just let them know they can't hurt you again...


    Well the goal is to let them know you have a problem with what they are doing.

    I think walking up to them and sharing some select expletives is an effective way of accomplishing that goal without getting kicked out of the club.

    That's just me though. Instead of being a pushover I choose to push back when I need to.


    Yes maybe so.. But when a person is Dominant and Confident with the words they are saying without every other line being a cursing word then THAT can strike fear in a weaklings heart Easily.. is it more of a challenge to do? Yes!.. but I Guarantee, he and his posy won't even glance at you again... UNLESS you putting them in their place made them want the D... A HIGH possibility

    icon_lol.gif