Is there hope when the two of you have very little in common with each other?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2013 8:20 PM GMT
    I keep meeting guys who aren't into any of the things I'm into. I'm talking to a guy now. He's a really nice guy and wants to hang out more. But he's not into drinking at all, or bars or sports (which is how I spend my free time) and I put all of this on my profile. I'm not into travel really which is his big thing as he goes on one big trip per year. He won't even have sex unless we're in a relationship so that even kills the fwb/buddy angle.

    This happens with me with 90% of the guys I meet. I mean I can keep the conversation going on any topic but what I and my other buds enjoy doing together aren't what he's into. Is there a point in continuing to hang out of you don't really have enough in common to be friends?
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    Sep 01, 2013 8:38 PM GMT
    Been there done that. The physical attraction was there. Great personality. But we didn't have enough common interests to get a relationship going.

    I'm starting to think maybe this is why some/most guys date within their circle of friends. icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 01, 2013 9:15 PM GMT
    I think a little diversity is good but you have to have a few things in common. It doesn't matter as much as y'all get more serious but in the beginning, it allows for easy conversation and bonding.
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    Sep 01, 2013 9:16 PM GMT
    In elderly straight couples I see a common thread - the woman's domain is the house and the man's the yard, and they meet for dinner to talk about their day. If they go eat at a diner they hardly talk to each other at all. Maybe they started out that way too; it seems to work for them.
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:08 PM GMT
    I think it is pretty important that 2 guys find stuff they enjoy doing together. Can you agree on other stuff, like watching a movie, watch sports together or such. But if he wants to stay in on Fri and Sat while you want to go out to the bars with your buds, that's a big red flag for the relationship.
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:13 PM GMT
    Birds of a feather flock together, but opposites can also attract. It's not impossible.
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:18 PM GMT
    Well be Open...

    The great thing about finding someone to love is you get to expand your views.. maybe he will grow to like the things you like and vice versa

    Doesn't mean you couldn't be meant for each other.. that's why people aren't with their significant other All the time.. Space is good for each other too
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:22 PM GMT
    Myol saidI keep meeting guys who aren't into any of the things I'm into. I'm talking to a guy now. He's a really nice guy and wants to hang out more. But he's not into drinking at all, or bars or sports (which is how I spend my free time) and I put all of this on my profile. I'm not into travel really which is his big thing as he goes on one big trip per year. He won't even have sex unless we're in a relationship so that even kills the fwb/buddy angle.

    This happens with me with 90% of the guys I meet. I mean I can keep the conversation going on any topic but what I and my other buds enjoy doing together aren't what he's into. Is there a point in continuing to hang out of you don't really have enough in common to be friends?


    It's not a big deal that you two are different. It depends on what you want. Do you want a relationship or a friendship? If you want to date, does he have to hang out with you all the time, or can you handle each of you doing your own thing most of the time?

    I would just take it step by step and see what develops.
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:32 PM GMT
    I think you often need to have some things in common for a relationship to last- if it's not hobbies/ interests you pursue, then it needs to be shared values, similar worldly concerns.
    However, if you find each other genuinely interesting despite a lack of shared interests, and enjoy each other's company, then you possibly have a deeper connection which is worth holding onto. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:38 PM GMT
    Honestly i prefer my man and i have separate interests so we still have a moment to do our own things. Lol i just couldn't see myself doing everything with him
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:52 PM GMT
    Although i get your question, i dnt think u like this guy that much. For u it was poorly physical and that angle has been shot down. So now u dnt know how to deal with the situation. Honest opinion move on.
    To answer your question though,if u already having doubt at this point and working hard to keep conversation going, i dnt think it will work. But opposite do attract, like minded people are not always good for each other, as they dnt offer growth to everyone involved. They make each other lives stagnant.
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    Sep 01, 2013 10:55 PM GMT
    Well to a degree yes.I am a sort of traditionalist Catholic and my fiancee is an atheist.He loves UFOS and stuff like that and I dont believe in them.He likes chatting with girls about hair and makeup n stuff and I like hangin with the boys.But we are crazy in love and we make it work!icon_smile.gif Now if you are total opposites with someone like George Bush marrying Hillary that def would not work haha.Ryan
  • MadeinMich

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    Sep 01, 2013 11:15 PM GMT
    You're gay man. You two don't have to have anything in common other than a 6 pack.
  • starboard5

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    Sep 02, 2013 4:11 AM GMT
    I think difference in a friendship can be stimulating; in a relationship, it's just annoying. Don't know where I got that bit of wisdom as I've never been in a relationship.
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    Sep 02, 2013 4:36 AM GMT
    He seems like a good boy/catch to me, doesn't smoke, drink, or into bars, likes to travel....sorta my type! Lol, are you mad at him for turning you down the fuck buddy proposal? Not all gay men are into that! Just because 2 guys have different personality/interests, it doesn't mean it can not work. Maybe you just want sex and not a serious boyfriend? !

    I find it interesting and fascinating to know more about people who have different interests. I mean, do I really want a clone of myself who's into my music, dance, taste? No!

    Good luck though.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2013 6:00 AM GMT
    Opposites DO attract. But in my experience, it didn't keep us together. lol
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    Sep 02, 2013 6:45 AM GMT
    You'll find the one for u....important u both like the same things...he's out there....maybe in our Fantasy Football league ths year!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 02, 2013 7:54 AM GMT
    no
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Sep 02, 2013 8:17 AM GMT
    we found love in a hopeless place
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2013 9:30 AM GMT
    Slim2010 saidBirds of a feather flock together, but opposites can also attract. It's not impossible.


    well that saying is about judging people by who they hang out with. not about finding your other half.

    i could not be with a person i have nothing in common with.

    but i wouldn't judge someone just bc they're not into drinking & sports. having things in common is much more than that.

    for me it's more about how you view life. not so much about tastes.
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    Sep 02, 2013 10:41 AM GMT
    there has to be some sort of intellectual connection. you can have fun with almost anyone but pretending just sex sustains a relationship is a fallacy.
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    Sep 02, 2013 2:02 PM GMT
    I find myself in a similar situation and I am having a very hard time making up my mind about it. The guy I am dating is extremely kind, and I am very attracted to him, but he's not terribly educated (I am a Ph.D. student) and his taste in books, music and films is radically different from mine.

    I know that discriminating on the basis of education and intellectual proclivities is a monumental cop out, but at the same it's a bit of struggle finding things to talk about. I'm afraid he is much more into me than I am into him, and I don't want to let him down.

    I am sure I am not thinking very clearly about this.
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    Sep 02, 2013 2:03 PM GMT
    hellass saidOpposites DO attract. But in my experience, it didn't keep us together. lol


    ^^^This^^^
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    Sep 02, 2013 2:25 PM GMT
    gta5iscomingin16days saidwell, sounds like you need to broaden your horizons a bit. not every guy that you're interested in is going to want to do the same things you do and etc. maybe the problem is with you because if it's 90% of the guys you're meeting, then it may be something on your end that's NOT holding up. you can't expect everyone to be 100 percent like you, man.


    I agree with the 1st sentence. For me, I try to understand what a guy's interests are and try them. They get me out of my comfort zone and it helps me learn something new. You might end up liking your new interests too!
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    Sep 02, 2013 2:41 PM GMT
    It worked for me....
    In that process we exchanged few interests,
    I got interested in classical music, traveling, etc. From him
    and he gained interest in movies from me.
    It'll work.