came out to my family,

  • J_canadian44

    Posts: 39

    Sep 02, 2013 5:23 AM GMT
    so it finally happened, i just decided i had enough of pretending to be someone else, came out to my parents... and my predictions were right. i was kicked out of the house.. ahah

    living with a friend, although he just moved to victoria for school so now im living awkwardly with his parents till i find my own place.

    ontop of all this 3 other close friends also moved for school,kinda sucks..

    not sure what to do now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 5:24 AM GMT
    now you can start living your life how you want; instead of hiding it from other people. this may be a difficult place you're in now; but as a consolation prize, at least the hard part is over with...best of luck to you.
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Sep 02, 2013 5:26 AM GMT
    kicked out of the house at 19? Some parents are such failures. Sorry to here it, buddy.
  • J_canadian44

    Posts: 39

    Sep 02, 2013 5:32 AM GMT
    18, im 19 in ocotober lmao
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 10:06 AM GMT
    Ouch ouch ouch, i feel so bad for u, but u know what ull be a stronger person for this. Now what u have to do is figure out what u will be doing with the rest of your life. And prove them wrong, make them regret kicking u out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 10:29 AM GMT
    willular saidAt least the hard part is over with...best of luck to you.
    ..

    ^ ^ ^ ^
    The hard part is over?
    Homeless at 19.. icon_confused.gif

    J .. I'm not agreeing with the reaction from your parents..
    I'm hoping you have a game plan to sustain yourself ..How about a helping hand from other close family members?

    ..I hope it works out.. icon_sad.gif

  • BillandChuck

    Posts: 2024

    Sep 02, 2013 11:50 AM GMT
    killercliche saidkicked out of the house at 19? Some parents are such failures. Sorry to here it, buddy.

    Truly amazing.... and tragic for the OP. hugs and good luck to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 12:02 PM GMT
    Sorry for you man. This is one of the things about our world that pisses me off more than most other things, that the people who would call us an abomination would do something so abominable. Hopefully you will be strong enough to handle your situation.

    Just googled so can't attest to this site but here's what I found...

    http://www.gayandlesbianconnection.com/lgbt-kids-kicked-out-of-their-homes/
    "October 1st, 2009 by Admin

    Twenty-three years ago statistics indicated that 25% of LGBT youth who came out to their parents were kicked out of the house and abandoned.

    With all the progress that has been made since that time for gay rights, and all the exposure and acceptance that gays have received, I was disheartened to read an recent article (http://www.examiner.com) from the Indypendent (www.indypendent.org) that currently twenty-six percent of LGBT youth who come out to their parents are kicked out of their home.

    ...The statistics are brutal...
    "

    the-binding_zps142ee1e2.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 1:26 PM GMT
    Anocxu said
    willular saidAt least the hard part is over with...best of luck to you.
    ..

    ^ ^ ^ ^
    The hard part is over?
    Homeless at 19.. icon_confused.gif

    J .. I'm not agreeing with the reaction from your parents..
    I'm hoping you have a game plan to sustain yourself ..How about a helping hand from other close family members?

    ..I hope it works out.. icon_sad.gif


    I wasn't trying to sound like an ass...but in my mind, the physical consequences (being physically removed) are small compared to the emotional turmoil that being in the closet for years could do. I'm not saying he's in a good spot, yeah it's really awful what they did....but this is just a minor stepping stone in his new life.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 02, 2013 1:33 PM GMT
    Well first let me say I read your profile and you sound like a very nice guy. Really sorry this happened, lets hope your parents wake the hell up and realize what a total fail this is on their part.

    We have some awesome RJ members in British Columbia, including a certain well known couple named "Meninlove".. I'll call this to Doug's attention and see if he has some ideas. I'll ask he contact your directly.

    Just know we care, are concerned and always wish you the best.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Sep 02, 2013 1:52 PM GMT
    No matter what might have been said try to treat your parents like you did before you told them. And hopefully they will realize you are still the same great son and treat you with love and respect also.

    Sometime mothers are the first best target. send your mother a message encouraging her to read "Gay Children, Straight Parents."

    Love and Hugs to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 1:59 PM GMT
    I'm truly sorry to hear that J. Hopefully you'll be able to find a place soon. Congratz on coming out, once you're back on your feet you'll be glad things went the way they went.. Big hugs!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 2:05 PM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear this man. Hopefully you'll have enough support with your friends and their families so that you'll be able to start living and building your own life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 2:18 PM GMT
    Definitely contact your local LGBT Centre for referrals for housing, finding work in a gay-friendly environment, and other support services. They are generally really good, and in Canada, you have a lot more services at your disposal than in the States.

    Stay connected to supportive friends and other family members in whatever way you can. You will get through this tough time. Your parents will come around, and are likely feeling guilty already. Now is the time to be really proactive, take the helm, and move forward with your life.

    Vancouver is a really friendly gay city, so you have a huge advantage in living there. Stay strong. You can do this.
  • jonnyangel

    Posts: 77

    Sep 02, 2013 2:25 PM GMT
    My heart goes out to you.I wish you nothing but the very best.BIG HUG
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 3:02 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidWell first let me say I read your profile and you sound like a very nice guy. Really sorry this happened, lets hope your parents wake the hell up and realize what a total fail this is on their part.

    We have some awesome RJ members in British Columbia, including a certain well known couple named "Meninlove".. I'll call this to Doug's attention and see if he has some ideas. I'll ask he contact your directly.

    Just know we care, are concerned and always wish you the best.

    icon_biggrin.gif


    Ugh; they gained nothing by kicking you out of the house, except to now discover a whole new lot of worries as now they don't know what you're up to or how you are. Give them a little time to digest that and see what happens.

    ...and feel free to message us on here. icon_wink.gif
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Sep 02, 2013 3:04 PM GMT
    VERY sorry to hear what your parents' reaction was, and I hope that in time they come around to realize what's important which is their love for you as their son. I hope you give them some time to see if their initial shock dissipates before you change your feelings for them. And regardless, you have a ton of gay brethren who will accept you and give you support and comfort as you go forward.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 3:51 PM GMT
    It's really hard for me to imagine how a parent could justify kicking a child out of the house for being gay. If religious reasons, then why not help, forgiveness, or even intervention, but what's to gain from kicking someone out? Wow, can't imagine. How was the relationship prior to you coming out? Did they suspect and tell you before that it would not be tolerated in their home?

    I wish you all the luck. Hang in there, find support and don't give up hope for being who you are! You're very courageous.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:03 PM GMT
    Personally I would have advised you to wait until you didn't rely on your parents at all, especially if you had an inkling that they would do something as bat shit crazy as kick you out.

    Sorry bud hope the best for ya.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:03 PM GMT
    Oh God, how can a parent kick their child out?
    You'll only grow stronger from this. You were true to youself and it will help you in the long run. You're now free. You can be you.
    I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. You have the RJ members support all the way.

    Feel better!
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Sep 02, 2013 4:39 PM GMT
    Confratulations--You did what will perhaps the hardest thing you will do in your life. It took a lot of courage. Your parents are wrong. For now, fuck 'em. Establish yourself. Stand on your own two feet and move onward. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:43 PM GMT
    Your Life is an adventure.

    Sometimes it feels like shit.

    But overall it is a GIFT FROM THE GODS.

    You have moar Love and Support than You realize.

    Go for it Dude.

    We are All here for You.

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 5:37 PM GMT
    http://www.pflag.org

    "When kids come out of the closet, their parents go in."

    You'd prepped yourself to tell them - and for the worst. But despite what you may think it might've hit 'em like a ton of bricks. This does NOT excuse what they did.

    Often if people go to one extreme they'll do a 180 and go to the other. Take heart knowing this. icon_smile.gif

    I did wait until I was financially independent - and 2.5 airline flight hours away - before finishing the outing of myself and then telling the fam. But nevertheless I admire the OP handling it as he did. I could've saved myself a couple of years of isolation/stress that way.

    Chin up!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 5:43 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear this. I hope that your parents come around and invite you back into their lives. It may take some time, but just be prepared for them to NOT come around. In the meantime, do you have siblings or close friends of your parents that may be able to help you out by talking some sense into your parents? Check with your local county agency for assistance, if needed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 5:47 PM GMT
    Hello from Kelowna, OP! I'm sorry to read about what has happened, but congratulations at least on being out. Remember that you have so much support available to you, and some of that includes from us here on RJ. I don't live in the Lower Mainland right now, but I can attest to what others have said in that Vancouver and area is quite gay friendly and supportive.

    Remember that you are beautifully made, just the way you are. Please don't hesitate to contact people like me, meninlove, and anyone else in BC if you want someone to talk to as you go through this time of transition in your life. Love from Kelowna!

    Jesse