Going to gay clubs/bars alone. Is it recommended?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 6:46 AM GMT
    Do you guys have any stories about going to gay clubs and the like all by yourself? Would you recommend it?

    I was thinking about going to one... None of my friends live in town and I can't think of any way to really meet other gay guys near me (the whole online thing isn't really working).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 6:49 AM GMT
    I wouldn't go to a club/bar alone because I'm more of a group person, but there's plenty of guys who do it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 7:29 AM GMT
    You should try gay social groups before attempting the whole going to bar/clubs alone thing.

    Unlike a lot of guys here, I actually think bars and clubs can be really fun. If you're sociable and you let go of your hangups and judgments and remain cautious that not all new people have your best interests in mind, you'll do fine in the "scene".
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 02, 2013 7:52 AM GMT
    I used to go alone often, I had a blast, met a lot of people, made a lot of friends, and sometimes ran into people I knew. Just make sure you have a plan for getting home ... Don't drink and drive ... And don't get to wasted ... Just remember ... There is nobody to look after you but you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 12:30 PM GMT
    I have the same anxiety about going to a mall alone.

    Go. Have fun. Do not leave your unfinished drink unattended.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 12:32 PM GMT
    ReluctantPromises saidUh you need to be either a real social butterfly or someone who doesn't mind not being talked to in order to go to clubs alone. For some reason that intimidates guys and makes them not want to just walk up and talk to you. If there's someone with you they feel like you and your friend might be more willing to strike up conversation and be friends since there's no vibe y'all wanna be left alone.


    I find its the exact opposite. The only time I am talked to is when I'm alone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 1:18 PM GMT
    FishSwimmer saidDo you guys have any stories about going to gay clubs and the like all by yourself? Would you recommend it?

    I was thinking about going to one... None of my friends live in town and I can't think of any way to really meet other gay guys near me (the whole online thing isn't really working).

    I started going to gay bars/clubs solo almost as soon as I came out, but then I was double your age with a military career behind me, not easy to intimidate or be taken advantage of. I loved it or wouldn't have gone, a good choice for me.

    I also knew what I wanted from a club - early on it was education (really), and then meeting gay guys for companionship, maybe friendship, and sex when it was offered. What do YOU want from a gay bar/club? That will determine some of the answers you'll get here, when we know your goals.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 1:20 PM GMT
    depends on what kind of club/bar it is? if it's a small, intimate one where everyone is already in groups of people, I personally wouldn't go by myself....but if it's a large one with hundreds of people scattered everywhere (large dance floor, etc.) then I'd be more willing to go by myself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 1:22 PM GMT
    My best friend loves doing this.

    Buy a drink, sit at the bar, and stare at a man you think is cute.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 1:30 PM GMT
    darius30 saidMy best friend loves doing this.

    Buy a drink, sit at the bar, and stare at a man you think is cute.


    flirty stare at him though....death stares will scare him away LOL.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 02, 2013 1:34 PM GMT
    It's been my experience that if you go to a gay club/bar with another guy anyone who finds you attractive will assume that you are "with" the other guy and therefore are not "available".




    icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 3:50 PM GMT
    Not in New Orleans. On of my friends and I got jumped by some trannies. We kicked some ass, but if either one of us would have been alone, I have no idea what would have happened.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 3:52 PM GMT
    It can be a lotta fun!!!

    Some nights are better than others...

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:01 PM GMT
    I think if you plan on going alone you have to be the one willing to initiate conversations and/or dance your way into groups icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    ThatGuy100 saidNot in New Orleans. On of my friends and I got jumped by some trannies. We kicked some ass, but if either one of us would have been alone, I have no idea what would have happened.



    Were you in the straight section of Bourbon Street by chance? There's a really vicious group of trannies down there that are really bad news!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:36 PM GMT
    I always go clubbing alone, love to dance, and if you going alone you can do whatever you want, leave the club any time you want.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:37 PM GMT
    fantasticlad saidI always go clubbing alone, love to dance, and if you going alone you can do whatever you want, leave the club any time you want.



    +1

    !!!

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:42 PM GMT
    I go alone all the time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:48 PM GMT
    I've done it before and it wasn't bad. I still even go out to eat alone sometimes. Sometimes you gotta treat yourself when there's no one else there to treat youicon_smile.gif.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:51 PM GMT
    theantijock said

    Go. Have fun. Do not leave your unfinished drink unattended.


    Sound and solid advice. Also, don't let anyone walk up to you and hand you a drink. Always know that your drink came straight from the bartender. I have heard many, many stories of people getting mickey-finned at bars. If you hook up with someone, ALWAYS text or call a friend regarding your whereabouts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 4:57 PM GMT
    i tried going once all by myself. and i felt like a loser. lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 5:04 PM GMT
    I used to until people started roofy other people's drinks...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 5:08 PM GMT
    soldierboy88 saidI used to until people started roofy other people's drinks...


    I have been to literally HUNDREDS of clubs and bars and never had that happen.

    I take My roofies at home before I leave...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 5:11 PM GMT
    always alone. sit at the bar and befriend the bartender. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2013 6:09 PM GMT
    darius30 saidMy best friend loves doing this.

    Buy a drink, sit at the bar, and stare at a man you think is cute.


    That's an excellent strategy. icon_razz.gif

    Nouveau_Debut saidSometimes you gotta treat yourself when there's no one else there to treat youicon_smile.gif.


    Yeah that's definitely true. icon_smile.gif Good point.