Mixed signals

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2013 2:12 PM GMT
    Greetings from Australia,

    I had a chat with a few mates about technology, in particular in relation to sociology... the same old argument popped up, "technology allows for instant communication, bringing us closer" and I agree, it has but I feel like it's destroyed the process of courtship or the system of courtship I am familiar with.

    So I met this guy on Jack'd, started chatting about the normal stuff... okay great. After a few days I realised that I was the only one initiating conversation, asking questions and what not. He'd answer but not questions were reciprocated. Now I'm not talking one word answers but close to. I'm going to be honest, I don't usually experience this, I can tell when a guy is interested but I can't tell with this dude. After a while I got the idea but was (still am) really attracted to the guy so I gave him my number, something about a drink -- and left the ball in his court. He gives me his and the same shit starts of whatsapp...

    Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the chase but I can't work on nothing.

    Insight lads?

    Ps. He asked me if I was a top or bottom during the initial phases (I'm totally cool with a hook up)...
  • nubScotty

    Posts: 282

    Sep 05, 2013 7:46 PM GMT
    Encountered a similar experience this week, met on an app and moved to texting pretty quickly. Conversations seemed reciprocal and we'd both initiate them; he asked me on a date, said he wanted to meet me etc.

    So we plan on doing something today around lunch time, I text him yesterday letting him know when I'll be free and no reply, so have left it at that without having heard back from him yet.

    The chase only goes so far, and shouldn't be a one way street. At least if both parties are interested.
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    Sep 05, 2013 8:12 PM GMT
    A similar thing happened on here. (No name) we exchanged messages, pretty explicit ones and photos to go along with them....equally!

    Then after maybe 10 or more messages....nothing, a stone wall. He didn't even open the last two. Oh and he changed his name. wtf! So much for him being the caring and understanding type (he seemed that way on his posts) just a facade I guess? Don't know. Rude nonetheless.

    He couldn't understand why someone broke up with him? I can guess.
    N E X T !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2013 8:28 PM GMT
    Move to Melbourne icon_lol.gif


    I tell my friends that if you use dating applications, don't expect anything to come out of it or have them reply back as you'll only be disappointed. If it moved further than that, great; if not, you had nothing to lose.
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    Sep 05, 2013 11:59 PM GMT
    I'm not aiming to be rude but..
    Why would you expect a favorable outcome from ridiculous circumstances?

    Here is a guy sending all kinds of signals.. and yet you are not firm or clear about what you are seeking.

    .. The reasons his signals are sloppy and inconsistent?
    No boundaries, foundation or perspectives were set by you.. icon_sad.gif

    If you let this continue.. this guy will poke you around like a pin cushion .. till you say...STOP..Go..Yay or Neigh..

    ..Take a stance..be firm..advertise what you are selling and this should improve..

    Happy hunting. icon_biggrin.gif



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2013 2:03 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidI'm not aiming to be rude but..
    Why would you expect a favorable outcome from ridiculous circumstances?

    Here is a guy sending all kinds of signals.. and yet you are not firm or clear about what you are seeking.

    .. The reasons his signals are sloppy and inconsistent?
    No boundaries, foundation or perspectives were set by you.. icon_sad.gif

    If you let this continue.. this guy will poke you around like a pin cushion .. till you say...STOP..Go..Yay or Neigh..

    ..Take a stance..be firm..advertise what you are selling and this should improve..

    Happy hunting. icon_biggrin.gif






    Not sure what you mean.......


    On line dating is the norm these days, if that's what was ridiculous. What "boundaries, foundation or perspectives" can you exert on a ghost? That's what he is at this point.

    It's a hook up site so I assume "seeking firm" and it's not out of the chat phase. Probably won't either if he's not communicating unless talked to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    Afternoon guys,

    Thanks for the reply guys, much appreciated.

    nubScotty - "The chase only goes so far, and shouldn't be a one way street. At least if both parties are interested."

    Pretty much sums up what happens conventionally but I can't tell with this dude, I'm relatively new to the app/online scene but I assume that exchanging numbers/ asking about sexual preferences etc. are a pretty good indication on interest... Perhaps I'm too old fashioned in the way a meet up should progress, chatting/ flirting -> irl chatting/ flirting and then going with the flow.

    Sirandy - Haha but I love Sydney icon_razz.gif...

    Anocxu -"I'm not aiming to be rude but..
    Why would you expect a favorable outcome from ridiculous circumstances?

    Here is a guy sending all kinds of signals.. and yet you are not firm or clear about what you are seeking.

    .. The reasons his signals are sloppy and inconsistent?
    No boundaries, foundation or perspectives were set by you..

    If you let this continue.. this guy will poke you around like a pin cushion .. till you say...STOP..Go..Yay or Neigh..

    ..Take a stance..be firm..advertise what you are selling and this should improve..

    Happy hunting."

    Strong advice, no hard feelings at all. I guess I'm used to progression being more about chemisty, clicking and what not... and when there was no chemistry (conversationally) I guess I assumed he wasn't interested but then an exchange of numbers occurred etc. The thing is if I don't initiate, there is no contact. I'm just thinking about if the situation was reversed, I wouldn't have given out my number in the first place. If you were in this situation would you just ask him out? Or ask him what he's looking for, man that phrase is awful haha.

    unckabasa - "It's a hook up site so I assume "seeking firm" and it's not out of the chat phase. Probably won't either if he's not communicating unless talked to."

    Pretty much how I feel.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2013 10:28 AM GMT
    ^ ^ ^ ^
    Understood Uberboy..
    Online dating is rough..

    My personal experience .. Men treat each other like disposable options.

    They'll fall head over heels for you on Monday.. Initiate contact on Tuesday.. Will try to meet with you Thursday..and by Saturday.. It's like they never existed.

    I would respond to guys that Say they are "Relationship Oriented" "Friends First".."No Hookups".. Oddly i'd get cornered into a Penis size conversation after two sentences in e-mails.

    .. I could go on and on.. you get my drift.

    Have a solid profile.. Mean what you say.. advertise exactly what you are selling..Avoid flakes <-- That's what I try to my best to do..

    Good luck icon_biggrin.gif