Anxiety in the gym

  • warrior1234

    Posts: 204

    Sep 05, 2013 4:42 PM GMT
    Hi guys. I suffer from low-self esteem and anxiety. These both affect me when I'm around people, either at work or around family.
    Back in November 2012 I decided to go to a gym for a induction. I've always been attracted to bodybuilders/muscled guys since I was a young kid. So I thought looking buff will help me get a buff boyfriend one day.
    So I went to a gym which is a 30 minute walk from where I live. As I got there one of the female workers at the gym was showing me around the gym. It was really busy and for some reason I felt very nervous. While the woman was talking to me about prices I was nervous around the other guys in the gym, not in a sexual way or anything like that I just felt intimidated for some reason. It was so bad that I felt like I was drowning. So in the end I didn't decide to join the gym.
    Back in March I went to India for a holiday to see my family. I decided to go to a gym in India. I went there like 3 times. I enjoyed using the machines but I'm too weak I've never done any proper gym exercises but I enjoyed using the gym machines.
    However, 2 of the guys who work there we're making fun of me and then I started to feel bad about myself and decided not to go there again.
    I was recommended by somebody on this site to read a book called Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway: How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action. Which I've ordered now and I'm hoping that'll make me feel better about myself.
    Has anybody else suffered from anxiety in the gym?
    Plus I'd prefer to work out with someone rather than by myself because I really don't know what to do when I get there. It seems that most people are in groups at the gym I went to which is like 1 or 2 miles from my home.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2013 5:10 PM GMT
    Mind your business, your anxiety will reside in time.
    What others think of you is not important, what you think of others & what you think of yourself is only important, because the only thing you can control is your thoughts. So, focus on yourself.
    To gain confidence, do something you're good at(arts, science, sports,..... Whatever it is)& try to improve it to its perfectness. You'll gain confidence. Don't say that you don't have any talent, everyone has some kind of talent, you too have it, try to discover your hidden talent.

    The real strength is in introspection & the real weaknesses is in trying to control or wishing or hoping for something to change as you desire, which is a fruitless work.

    Be strong, all the best.
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    Sep 05, 2013 5:17 PM GMT
    just get a personal trainer for a couple of months so they can show you the basics of working out.

    It doesn't matter if you are weak, just go for it. I'm always the smallest guy in the gym but I work hard and have seen some good results and am working towards my goal to be a bodybuilder in a couple of years, and I have had my fair share of bodybuilders in bed and my last bf was a bodybuilder, so looking biff does help you!!! hehe

    Those guys in the gym are dicks, instead of making fun of u, they should have come up to u to help, I do that sometimes with guys who have no idea what they are doing. Guys even ask me all the time how to train!!! I must be doing something right with my appearance!!! lol.

    It can be daunting when u see lots of huge guys at the gym, but in all honesty, they don't care, they're just going about their business. You said you enjoy using the machines and going to the gym, so keep doing what you enjoy!!!
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    Sep 05, 2013 5:23 PM GMT
    Fortunately, my gym anxiety passed quickly after I joined.
    Years ago, I walked into the gym and then out again three times before I could even speak to someone to sign me up.
    Now I'm more comfortable there than anywhere else.
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    Sep 05, 2013 5:25 PM GMT
    You need to talk to random people, it helps to get used to them. When waiting in a line for a grocery store, make a comment or ask them something. It may feel a bit nervous at first but after the first time, it doesn't appear to be bad at all.
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    Sep 05, 2013 6:47 PM GMT
    gta5iscomingin12days saidone way to overcome your anxiety in the gym is by simply having an intense workout. you'll be focusing more on catching your breath, dealing with that soreness in your muscles, wiping off that sweat if anything than worrying about other people look @ you or checking other guys out. concentrating on your workouts can actually keep you from ending up in the hospital or fucking yourself up anyway. i'm sure you won't be eyeing some guy up if you were holding a heavy weight over your head or chest that could drop and kill you.


    Well hopefully he doesn't put himself in that position in the first place.

    When I started I had a buddy show me how to lift. It's less awkward when you've got a friend. I also went at low traffic times so I wasn't getting in the way.
  • warrior1234

    Posts: 204

    Sep 05, 2013 7:02 PM GMT
    SkittleGangsta, that's another thing. I'll only be able to go during the busy times because I go to work. I only work part time at the moment but I'm hoping to start working full time in the next few weeks.
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    Sep 05, 2013 7:09 PM GMT
    warrior1234 saidHi guys. I suffer from low-self esteem and anxiety. These both affect me when I'm around people, either at work or around family.
    Back in November 2012 I decided to go to a gym for a induction. I've always been attracted to bodybuilders/muscled guys since I was a young kid. So I thought looking buff will help me get a buff boyfriend one day.
    So I went to a gym which is a 30 minute walk from where I live. As I got there one of the female workers at the gym was showing me around the gym. It was really busy and for some reason I felt very nervous. While the woman was talking to me about prices I was nervous around the other guys in the gym, not in a sexual way or anything like that I just felt intimidated for some reason. It was so bad that I felt like I was drowning. So in the end I didn't decide to join the gym.
    Back in March I went to India for a holiday to see my family. I decided to go to a gym in India. I went there like 3 times. I enjoyed using the machines but I'm too weak I've never done any proper gym exercises but I enjoyed using the gym machines.
    However, 2 of the guys who work there we're making fun of me and then I started to feel bad about myself and decided not to go there again.
    I was recommended by somebody on this site to read a book called Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway: How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action. Which I've ordered now and I'm hoping that'll make me feel better about myself.
    Has anybody else suffered from anxiety in the gym?
    Plus I'd prefer to work out with someone rather than by myself because I really don't know what to do when I get there. It seems that most people are in groups at the gym I went to which is like 1 or 2 miles from my home.


    I had the same anxiety about he gym. decided on the home gym route. It did wonders for my self esteem. After 3 years I "took the plunge" and joined my local 24 hour fitness. don't seem to notice anyone making fun of me, and if they do, I'll just challenge them to a pushup contest icon_evil.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 05, 2013 7:26 PM GMT
    Look, guy, I don't know how things are in India, but no one here will laugh at you for being in a gym. If anything, they will wish you well. Everyone in the gym had his first day there at some point in the past and probably he was small and weak when he got started. We all understand that if you are there, in the gym with us, you are there to work out and get stronger. And that is respected. I've watched any number of small, oddly dressed guys start working out in my gym and the ones who kept on working out not only got bigger and stronger, but they also earned the respect of the regulars. If you don't have a friend to show you around the gym and can't afford a trainer, the magazine Men's Health has a book you can buy that shows all the recommended exercises for different muscle groups and how to do them correctly. Most of the machines also have instructions right on them. Just pick one body part per day and do four or five different exercises on that part in three sets of ten repetitions. I divide my routines into a chest day, shoulders, arms, back and legs. Five days, five body parts exercised thoroughly every week.

    Good luck.
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    Sep 05, 2013 7:42 PM GMT
    ^^^^^ I won't quote what is directly above me - but as a guy who started working out when I was a skinny pale twink in high school, I can agree that what is written above is exactly true. We guys who've been in the gym working out for a long time are totally glad to see other guys in there working to improve themselves and be their best.
  • dc415

    Posts: 255

    Sep 05, 2013 7:47 PM GMT
    everybody has to start somewhere. people who are lifting hundreds of pounds didn't start off doing that. also those guys making fun of you are assholes.

    you should probably educate yourself on what exercise program is right for you. read up on the internet or work with a personal trainer or something. don't go to the gym without a plan.
  • seafrontbloke

    Posts: 300

    Sep 05, 2013 8:40 PM GMT
    I know where you're coming from. part of my issues is that the free weights / machines are always over-used so to use them yourself involves waiting, and even worse, someone waiting for you to finish.

    I tend to do cardio in the peak times, I'm about to go to the gym now, at 9:30 pm, to have a work out ...
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    Sep 05, 2013 8:49 PM GMT
    Your social anxiety is a manifestation of your deeper insecurities. It's the same reason you don't show your face on your profile.

    You need to learn a few things.

    1. Courage. Most things worth doing take courage.
    2. Strength. Most things worth doing are hard.
    3. Self confidence. Built by stepping out of your comfort zone by doing 1, and 2, above.

    Whether it's learning how to shoot a gun, jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, or walking on stage in less than underwear, we GROW in our personal experience and maturity when we ...
    WALK INTO
    WALK THROUGH
    EXECUTE A PLAN UPON
    AND RISE ABOVE
    OUR CHALLENGES.

    If you continue to be cowardly, pictureless,....that's what you've chosen for yourself. If you step up, and do what you need to do, whether it's gaining a last name, first name, a hand shake, and a smie, jumping out of a plane, or simply lifting weights,...YOU CONTROL THAT. TAKE CHARGE. GET PAST THE WHINING NEGATIVE ATTITUDE AND FACE UP TO YOUR CHALLENGES. Take pride in your accomplishments, and keep building upon that.

    Most things in life worth doing can sometimes be a bit scary / stressful. We learn through that experience, gain confidence, and are the richer of experience for it.

    Just do it. You'll get nowhere continuing to be a coward. You have to be willing to fail in order to succeed.

    Drop the self centered view that The World revolves around you. It does no such thing.

    Research whatever it is, surround yourself with experts, and jump in.

    Did I know how to be a national level bodybuilder before I did it? Of course not. Did I know how to do high level tech before I did it? Of course not.

    Get your head out; get to work.

    Nobody gives a rat's tiny behind about you at the gym. The World does not revolve around you.
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    Sep 05, 2013 8:50 PM GMT
    YouTube is filled with advice on the proper way to work out. It's easy to learn what you're supposed to do. It's hard to remember to do it all (proper breathing, form, flexing) when you're actually doing it. That's why workout partners are good.
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    Sep 05, 2013 9:45 PM GMT
    This is not an uncommon problem (I know that I used a double negative). Read the book and take proactive steps towards dealing with it. You can't let anxiety keep you from doing something that's important.
  • JackDoyle

    Posts: 706

    Sep 05, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    I sufer a bit from social anxiety too, it's shit icon_mad.gif I have to go job hunting tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it, I'm gonna make a twat of myself but I heard Kava Kava (the root of the plant) is good for relieving anxiety, some people even use it instead of alcohol in some Countries, you should try it and see if it helps, I'm gonna try get some myself but they don't sell it in Ireland so I'm going to try online
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    Sep 05, 2013 10:19 PM GMT
    This anxiety is common at all gyms. You can go to a gym for 25 years and still occasionally feel anxiety. It is like public speaking and driving in traffic and the fear that comes from it. At the gym just do what you want to do. Avoid jerks whenever possible.
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    Sep 05, 2013 10:32 PM GMT
    I will just say this without addressing certain posters above-their nice neat "one-size-fits-all" opinion of cowardice, etc. perfectly exemplifies exactly *why* folks have gym/social anxiety.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 05, 2013 11:55 PM GMT
    im afraid the machines will kill me someway somehoww
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    Sep 06, 2013 12:44 AM GMT
    I think it happens to a lot of guys. a personal trainer for a few short months might help.