hard to go back home to straight conservative america

  • dommyinlosang...

    Posts: 261

    Sep 05, 2013 7:59 PM GMT
    the last few weeks i had to fly back home for a sick family member which eventually led to a dead family member and funeral etc... aside from all that depressing stuff, every time i go back home i feel so gay. it's weird. i currently live like many gays in big cities and i live in a great one... LA / west hollywood where being gay is almost a non factor... i never think about it... it's just normal... but going back home just reminds me i'm different... i feel like i'm in the closet again... more alone... i'm careful what i say... i have gay friends back home and they act different too... always on their guard... and my hometown is not in the middle of the country... it's the republican suburbs of NYC...

    i can't imagine living like that all the time... made me think of the gays who live in these real small towns permanently... do they know the Shangri-La that exists outside? i mean the difference for me amazing... in west hollywood free, normal, uninhibited... back home i feel suppressed, careful...

    here in west hollywood... seeing gay couples holding hands is not even noticed, billboards on the streets advertising products with gay men and couples... gays actually run the city hall... gay bars out in the open not dimly lit and hidden away like in my home town... and i have tons of gay friends...

    i know there are pluses and minuses for living in small towns or big cities but i really admire the ones who live in the small towns because it is not easy... i just wonder if they know the freedom it feels like to live in gayer friendlier america
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    Sep 05, 2013 8:08 PM GMT
    I thank god every single day that I was born and raised in NYC.

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    Sep 05, 2013 8:10 PM GMT
    MCB17 saidI thank god every single day that I was born and raised in NYC.



    Lucky bastard icon_evil.gif

    I thank god I was born and raised in the West.
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    Sep 05, 2013 8:44 PM GMT
    I grew up in Minnesota, it was liberal in the 70s. Then I moved to Palm Springs, LA/WeHo, San Diego/Hillcrest....all very Gay Friendly.

    Then I stayed with my ex in Yuma AZ for a month. What a culture SHOCK that was! Stupid, redneck Republicans.....worse AZ Republicans! He became a part of it too. Even though he'd only been there a year he accepted it as being normal for them. He was offended when I told him I couldn't wait to get back to Palm Springs. No Gay anything there.....Nada, ZILCH.

    BTW if you like small towns, PS may be the best small Gay town anywhere!
  • dommyinlosang...

    Posts: 261

    Sep 05, 2013 8:48 PM GMT
    [quote]BTW if you like small towns, PS may be the best small Gay town anywhere! [/quote]

    true... but man it is too quiet... great for older gays in retirement or visiting clothing optional places... i'm a nudist so nice to have that option...icon_biggrin.gif
  • bnation

    Posts: 22

    Sep 05, 2013 9:23 PM GMT
    I live in a small town and go to school in another small town. I can tell you, I cannot wait until I can move to the big city. I'm excited to be able to feel the freedom that is not here.
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    Sep 06, 2013 8:52 AM GMT
    I bailed out of my hometown (Cincinnati) as soon as I could and have never regretted it. But for those "oxymoronic" people known as gay conservatives it probably works fine. They even got a guppie elected to City Council last year. Sure, da Nati has some pockets of town that are artsy/progressive and where you'll see rainbow flags outside businesses. But LGBT's there "know their place." Later for that. It's awesome to visit though.

    As for me, I love my adopted city. It's where the first marriage licenses EVER in America were approved for same-sex couples, there's been a Lesbian or Gay mayor for five consecutive terms (also African-American in 2 out of 3 cases), etc etc. Life is laid-back and awesome in Cambridge even though there's no gayborhood. Everybody just blends in and gets along. Attitude and rainbow flags are out of place 'cause they signal defiant insecurity. Neighbors are friendly if not also friends. Younger and older mix socially (at least to some extent.) Nobody bats an eye at the Lesbian couples on my block, or at the Lesbian single mom whose child was adopted. About 1/3 of the population is Black, the number of Asians keeps increasing, and it's totally a non-issue. For several years there were even Jewish and Muslim households in the same cluster of townhouses. All of the USA should be like this. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Amelorn

    Posts: 231

    Sep 06, 2013 12:09 PM GMT
    MCB_ saidI thank god every single day that I was born and raised in NYC.



    And I could curse my Long Island upbringing. Despite growing up only a few miles apart, it may as well have been another continent in terms of LGBT life.

    I've been living abroad since 2008 and it's been great. That said, trips home feel like being 17 again: shy, closeted, bottom of the totem pole etc. Fortunately, it's only 2-3 weeks at a time.

    P.S. I just re-read the OP. No surprises that we both feel the same way about Long Island.
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    Sep 06, 2013 12:25 PM GMT
    MCB_ saidI thank god every single day that I was born and raised in NYC.



    I wan't..and turned out just fine..

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