Hugging straight males

  • beaujangle

    Posts: 1701

    Nov 20, 2008 12:27 PM GMT
    As for straight males, do you hug them? (family members or friends)

    Ever? often? Never?
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    Nov 20, 2008 12:47 PM GMT
    It depends on the friends personality and/or occassion. I hug some of my friends while other get another form of greeting (handshake, head nod). During holidays or big sporting events everyone hugs.
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    Nov 20, 2008 2:15 PM GMT
    I do and they hug me too..sometimes it doesn't have to be a special occasion. Some of my male straight friends put their arms across my shoulders when walking or standing. We're very comfortable with each other.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Nov 20, 2008 2:23 PM GMT
    I would love too, but then people might take a diffrently . Seem I am 200% gay, I am more comfortable hugging a straight men that a women.
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    Nov 20, 2008 2:45 PM GMT
    Yeah, with my closer friends. We hug as a greeting and as a good bye.
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    Nov 20, 2008 2:47 PM GMT
    Actually, I would say 98% of my straight male friends, I hug. Obviously, the gay guys I hug. I am a hugger because I'm a big time germaphobe and I don't want to touch their hands. Lol. I see how many guys don't wash their hands and it kinda creeps me out. So I do a nice old embrace. At least their grossness is on my back, haha gross.
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    Nov 20, 2008 2:49 PM GMT
    I shake hands with older guys (including clients) and I do the hug thing with gay or straight friends if I get a vibe that they're into it. (Can you picture yourself hugging a fellow H20-polo teammate after a game - while you're both in Speedos?) It happens - that and/or a slap on the butt! It's all good!
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    Nov 20, 2008 2:57 PM GMT
    Yes I hug straight friends, but only in informal situations, where I know them well enough to (the same as gay friends) and I know that they wouldn't be uncomfortable (not because I'm gay, but because they don't hug anyone in public.)
    I think with any greeting, it really needs to be adjusted for for the comfort of the individual. That is, after all, the purpose of greeting someone. To acknowledge their presence, welcome them, put them at ease and show them respect. It is a common courtesy and not a power play of forcing my presence upon them.
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    Nov 20, 2008 3:23 PM GMT
    I'm not a very "huggy" person or "kiss goodbye" kinda guy, even in the gay scene. I think it's great that some males are able to be that open towards one another, but I think I have some hang ups from high school soccer practice....in the locker room... *grin* Yup, those were good times...
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    Nov 20, 2008 3:28 PM GMT
    yes please
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    Nov 20, 2008 3:32 PM GMT
    No. I've always felt akward hugging guys. Especially straight ones. I'm always afraid they'll take it the wrong way.

    I wasn't hugged much as a kid by friends or family either, so that might have something to do with it too
  • Aquanerd

    Posts: 845

    Nov 20, 2008 3:44 PM GMT
    It all depends on the comfort level of the other guy. It's about respecting other peoples boundaries. Some gay men are more uncomfortable with hugging than straight men, and then it depends on whether they know I'm gay?

    I watch the guys, and boy language. Most of the time it reads well.
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    Nov 20, 2008 3:45 PM GMT
    i detest handshakes amongst friends. hug me or fuck off
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    Nov 20, 2008 3:53 PM GMT
    ditto dancerjack
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    Nov 20, 2008 3:55 PM GMT
    Me three... especially the part that goes "among friends."
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    Nov 20, 2008 3:56 PM GMT



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    Nov 20, 2008 4:03 PM GMT
    I have a friend (softball buddy-fond of the ladies-knew I was gay) whom I have gotten to know very well. One evening, after chatting for a few months, we were heading off to our cars in the parking lot of a ballpark and after saying our goodbyes, I went in for a "see you later" hug. He was stunned, pulled back and said, "Dude, what are you doing?" I told him I was a hugger and that it was just a sign from me that I cared about him as a close friend - absolutely nothing more. You could see the hesitation on his face, but he hugged back in that straight guy pat on the back-don't get too close hug. I smiled, laughed - he smiled and we left.

    Two days later.. the same thing. We heading to our cars after a game and I went in for the hug. He returned the hug, but still a little stand-offish. This continued for a few months then one night, we're heading out again and I had some bigger things going on in my mind and just started heading to my car. He yelled and motioned at me. I walked back over to him and asked what he wanted. To my surprised he said, "Um... did you forget something. Where's my hug?"

    So... yes, I hug my close friends (regardless of their sexuality.)

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    Nov 20, 2008 4:04 PM GMT
    yeah handshakes are so awkward and distant, hugs are way better. i hug my straight guy friend. he's hot too, so maybe that's why i do it...icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 20, 2008 5:01 PM GMT
    Guys who train in grappling sports hug a lot. Among very close friends, some even kiss on the cheeks. Since we participate in a sport with close physical contact everyone is comfortable about it.

    Here's an example that gets some smiles but no one is upset.

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    Nov 20, 2008 5:09 PM GMT
    For the most part I do and it's always that one arm hug while gripping the hands and the fist to the back......
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    Nov 20, 2008 5:11 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidi detest handshakes amongst friends. hug me or fuck off


    at first glance I thought you typed... "hug me or fuck me" and I thought, wow you are reeeally friendly icon_eek.gif
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    Nov 20, 2008 5:13 PM GMT
    MuscleGrappler saidGuys who train in grappling sports hug a lot. Among very close friends, some even kiss on the cheeks. Since we participate in a sport with close physical contact everyone is comfortable about it.


    agree, except for the kiss on the cheeks icon_surprised.gif haven't seen that yet in judo
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    Nov 20, 2008 5:14 PM GMT
    LOL, I am so used to hugging my male friends that I do end up hugging most of the straight males as well. In fact, lately it seems as though most of the straight men in my life actually initiate the hugs.
    I am a little germophobic as well and I would rather hug someone's clothes over their hands any day.icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 20, 2008 5:15 PM GMT
    a1972guy saidFor the most part I do and it's always that one arm hug while gripping the hands and the fist to the back......


    What he said.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Nov 20, 2008 5:22 PM GMT
    As appropriate. But, each one is different. Some straight guys I know have no issues and I hug them as I would a gay friend. Others, it's the sort of half-hug thing.