Reality Truth?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2013 6:28 AM GMT
    Dude... why's it so difficult for a gay black man to find another gay man who is not going to be a jerk, a scrub, a liar, a cheater, or a combination of the above stated adjectives?

    I know black people are generally stereotyped as "easy" but oh my GOD not every black person is like that... I feel like just because I'm black no one gives me a chance... I know I'm a decent looking guy... but no one wants to give me a chance... I can't really think of any other reasons...

    The only people who tend to be drawn to me are the ones who are either in the closet, live at home with their parents (age ranging from 23-33 and still living with parents and the parents literally tell them to BRUSH THEIR TEETH AND WHAT TO WEAR...) who don't have jobs but are handed things to them in life... or who look like they don't know how to take care of themselves...

    I mean... life for me wasn't easy, but it wasn't too much of a struggle either... Yeah I grew up in a bad neighborhood, but I did go to a good school and I did do what I needed to do... No one gave me the stuff I have now... I work(ed) for everything that I have now... My car, my house, my job... with God's help did I do all these things... ugh.. it's not that hard =/



    Seeing the new song by the new up and coming artist "Stay" made me feel a bit depressed... and that's the reason for me making this thread... but these are valid points... I just want to know what others think...
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    Sep 08, 2013 6:37 AM GMT
    I actually want to know:

    Any guys that view this topic, if you saw me out in public, would you make any move to approach me and either ask my name, possibly ask for my number so that we could become friends, etc.

    Mind you, I'm very well-spoken and I tend to use an array of advanced words in my everyday vocabulary.

    Besides that, however, I just want to know... based on what you see from me in general... (I know have more hair on my head and a goatee. I have waves in my hair as well [if anyone needs to know what waves are, then I'll be happy to explain])
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    Sep 08, 2013 6:42 AM GMT
    0Ki1qeV.jpg
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    Sep 08, 2013 6:51 AM GMT
    I dunno about the "easy" stereotype for black men. But the ones I know tend to be very femmy.
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    Sep 08, 2013 6:56 AM GMT
    Yeah I'm not a fem... but I'm not a butch either.. I'm in the middle

    edit:

    I work at a bank, therefore, I can't act ratchet. I know how to be civilized because it's not my nature to act ratchet. I am well educated and I know what it takes to be a businessman, that which I am.
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    Sep 08, 2013 7:11 AM GMT
    I would not approach you because I do not find you attractive. Your teeth look very large for your mouth, your lack of hair is unappealing, and you look malnourished. In general, I am not attracted to black men as far as dating goes. If I am to hook up with a black man, he has to be well built. I had sex with this black guy from California while I was in Mexico and it was fucking awesome. Anyway, you asked.. so here's the opinion from a random RJer.
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    Sep 08, 2013 7:26 AM GMT
    elektrisk564 saidI would not approach you because I do not find you attractive. Your teeth look very large for your mouth, your lack of hair is unappealing, and you look malnourished. In general, I am not attracted to black men as far as dating goes. If I am to hook up with a black man, he has to be well built. I had sex with this black guy from California while I was in Mexico and it was fucking awesome. Anyway, you asked.. so here's the opinion from a random RJer.


    [url]http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=tOU88vlY9VaFGM&tbnid=fhc3bsKhnhkUwM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.timesunion.com%2Fnews%2Farticle%2FSixth-famine-zone-found-in-Somalia-2156657.php&ei=JCUsUoG7IKeH2AXBzICADA&bvm=bv.51773540,d.b2I&psig=AFQjCNHZ1551yvCkQCTDCky_yPd_zdYavg&ust=1378711105572437
    [/url]
    This is malnutrition

    [img]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200776678271668&set=pb.1004100066.-2207520000.1378624977.&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F457312_10200776678271668_962060454_o.jpg
    [/img]
    this is me...
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    Sep 08, 2013 7:29 AM GMT
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 saidI would not approach you because I do not find you attractive. Your teeth look very large for your mouth, your lack of hair is unappealing, and you look malnourished. In general, I am not attracted to black men as far as dating goes. If I am to hook up with a black man, he has to be well built. I had sex with this black guy from California while I was in Mexico and it was fucking awesome. Anyway, you asked.. so here's the opinion from a random RJer.


    http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Sixth-famine-zone-found-in-Somalia-2156657.php

    This is malnutrition

    [img]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200776678271668&set=pb.1004100066.-2207520000.1378624977.&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F457312_10200776678271668_962060454_o.jpg
    [/img]
    this is me...


    Hi. I thought it was obvious I was using hyperbole but I guess not. I wouldn't assume you were malnourished given your description of self-sufficiency in your OP. I am just saying you have a seemingly great lack of muscle.
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    Sep 08, 2013 7:35 AM GMT
    elektrisk564 said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 saidI would not approach you because I do not find you attractive. Your teeth look very large for your mouth, your lack of hair is unappealing, and you look malnourished. In general, I am not attracted to black men as far as dating goes. If I am to hook up with a black man, he has to be well built. I had sex with this black guy from California while I was in Mexico and it was fucking awesome. Anyway, you asked.. so here's the opinion from a random RJer.


    http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Sixth-famine-zone-found-in-Somalia-2156657.php

    This is malnutrition

    [img]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200776678271668&set=pb.1004100066.-2207520000.1378624977.&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F457312_10200776678271668_962060454_o.jpg
    [/img]
    this is me...


    Hi. I thought it was obvious I was using hyperbole but I guess not. I wouldn't assume you were malnourished given your description of self-sufficiency in your OP. I am just saying you have a seemingly great lack of muscle.


    I'm not really sure how you could assume something like that. You're not much smaller than I am in size. I'm very tall as well... I also do Zumba and am very, very fit.

    I'm not really sure how you could say that the size of one's teeth would prevent you from approaching that person. That kinda baffles me a little. I could understand the hair I guess... but I'm the kind of person who takes people for who they are .
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    Sep 08, 2013 7:39 AM GMT
    gta5iscomingin11days saidare you looking for the guys you want or are you waiting for them to approach you?


    I guess you can say I'm leaving myself available by periodically checking to see if I've gotten messages on some OKCupid, but other than that, I've pretty much ceased searching. I don't want to seem like the typical black guy who's thirsty for penis... because that's another stereotype into which we as black people sometimes tend to feed. I don't know how to flirt with people without it being awkward either... but also my 'gaydar' sucks unless it's very obvious.
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    Sep 08, 2013 8:04 AM GMT
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 saidI would not approach you because I do not find you attractive. Your teeth look very large for your mouth, your lack of hair is unappealing, and you look malnourished. In general, I am not attracted to black men as far as dating goes. If I am to hook up with a black man, he has to be well built. I had sex with this black guy from California while I was in Mexico and it was fucking awesome. Anyway, you asked.. so here's the opinion from a random RJer.


    http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Sixth-famine-zone-found-in-Somalia-2156657.php

    This is malnutrition

    [img]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200776678271668&set=pb.1004100066.-2207520000.1378624977.&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F457312_10200776678271668_962060454_o.jpg
    [/img]
    this is me...


    Hi. I thought it was obvious I was using hyperbole but I guess not. I wouldn't assume you were malnourished given your description of self-sufficiency in your OP. I am just saying you have a seemingly great lack of muscle.


    I'm not really sure how you could assume something like that. You're not much smaller than I am in size. I'm very tall as well... I also do Zumba and am very, very fit.

    I'm not really sure how you could say that the size of one's teeth would prevent you from approaching that person. That kinda baffles me a little. I could understand the hair I guess... but I'm the kind of person who takes people for who they are .


    What am I assuming? I am making a physical observation based on the pics you have on your profile. Also, note that I'm 19 and you're 24. To compare our sizes is a bit unfair, but I'll bite. You are 6'1 and 165lbs. That is a bit skinny for being so tall. I'm guessing my biceps are more muscular than yours and my back is wider, but you don't have any flexing pics so it is hard to determine. I'm not saying I am a buff guy, not even close, but you brought my size into this so I felt the need to defend myself. You can be fit without having much mass (ie being muscular) so I don't see your point.

    Also, we all different preferences regarding how attractive we find other people. For me, big teeth such as yours makes you unattractive. It is good that you apparently can overlook physical shortcomings, but from a dating perspective, if I don't find a person attractive initially, I usually don't stick around long enough to find out what their personality is like. I'd say that is how most people are.

    I'd recommend not posting threads asking people for their opinions of you on the Internet if you are not prepared for the answers.
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Sep 08, 2013 8:09 AM GMT
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 saidI also do Zumba and am very, very fit.
    .



    ...lol.
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    Sep 08, 2013 8:23 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    elektrisk564 said It is good that you apparently can overlook physical shortcomings, but personally, if I don't find a person attractive initially, I usually don't stick around long enough to find out what their personality is like. I'd say that is how most people are.

    I'd say that's only true of people who assess everyone they meet in terms of sexual potential. I suppose that's why some people only have 'hot' friends. Because if someone doesn't measure up to their standards, even if sex is not in the picture, they 'don't stick around long enough to find out what their personality is like'.

    Just. Wow.


    Please be real. If you know nothing about a person, and see them in a public setting.. what is going to initially attract you to that person? Their physical appearance. I think it was obvious I was talking about from a dating perspective but I guess for those who take everything out of context, I will be more specific next time.
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    Sep 08, 2013 8:24 AM GMT
    killercliche said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 saidI also do Zumba and am very, very fit.
    .



    ...lol.


    I think RJ's quoting system sucks, but I didn't say that. OP did.
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Sep 08, 2013 8:40 AM GMT
    elektrisk564 said
    killercliche said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 saidI also do Zumba and am very, very fit.
    .



    ...lol.


    I think RJ's quoting system sucks, but I didn't say that. OP did.


    yeah I fucked up the quoting. I still laughed though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2013 8:46 AM GMT
    I am so tired of black men complaining that no one is interested in them and that no one finds them attractive. Stop blaming it on the color of your skin and find out what the real reason is.
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    Sep 08, 2013 8:49 AM GMT
    Slim2010 saidI am so tired of black men complaining that no one is interested in them and that no one finds them attractive. Stop blaming it on the color of your skin and find out what the real reason is.


    I also think it is strange OP is mentioning random stereotypes about black guys that I have never heard, such as that all black men care about is dick. If anything, that is a stereotype about all men, gay men in particular. I've never heard anyone say this in particular about black men.
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    Sep 08, 2013 8:55 AM GMT
    elektrisk564 said
    Slim2010 saidI am so tired of black men complaining that no one is interested in them and that no one finds them attractive. Stop blaming it on the color of your skin and find out what the real reason is.


    I also think it is strange OP is mentioning random stereotypes about black guys that I have never heard, such as that all black men care about is dick. If anything, that is a stereotype about all men, gay men in particular. I've never heard anyone say this in particular about black men.


    That's because he's making up excuses for himself. It's hard for him to find a good guy so he says to himself "Well, it must be because I'm black", which is stupid. He's using the color of his skin as a scapegoat and it's played out.
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    Sep 08, 2013 9:22 AM GMT
    Slim2010 said
    elektrisk564 said
    Slim2010 saidI am so tired of black men complaining that no one is interested in them and that no one finds them attractive. Stop blaming it on the color of your skin and find out what the real reason is.


    I also think it is strange OP is mentioning random stereotypes about black guys that I have never heard, such as that all black men care about is dick. If anything, that is a stereotype about all men, gay men in particular. I've never heard anyone say this in particular about black men.


    That's because he's making up excuses for himself. It's hard for him to find a good guy so he says to himself "Well, it must be because I'm black", which is stupid. He's using the color of his skin as a scapegoat and it's played out.


    I agree somewhat...as another black man, I am none of those things. I am happily partnered to a Latino man, prior to him I have dated white, black and Asian. I also have friends of various different races from Indian- Middle Eastern... Skin color doesn't have boundaries in the gay community( at least it didn't for me). Put yourself out there more but also remember that we all have PREFERENCES some guys have racial preferences while others may have height, body type, etc. Where and what kind of guys are you looking for??
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    Sep 08, 2013 3:18 PM GMT
    xrichx said0Ki1qeV.jpg



    This


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    Sep 08, 2013 4:28 PM GMT
    elektrisk564 said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 saidI would not approach you because I do not find you attractive. Your teeth look very large for your mouth, your lack of hair is unappealing, and you look malnourished. In general, I am not attracted to black men as far as dating goes. If I am to hook up with a black man, he has to be well built. I had sex with this black guy from California while I was in Mexico and it was fucking awesome. Anyway, you asked.. so here's the opinion from a random RJer.


    http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Sixth-famine-zone-found-in-Somalia-2156657.php

    This is malnutrition

    [img]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200776678271668&set=pb.1004100066.-2207520000.1378624977.&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F457312_10200776678271668_962060454_o.jpg
    [/img]
    this is me...


    Hi. I thought it was obvious I was using hyperbole but I guess not. I wouldn't assume you were malnourished given your description of self-sufficiency in your OP. I am just saying you have a seemingly great lack of muscle.


    I'm not really sure how you could assume something like that. You're not much smaller than I am in size. I'm very tall as well... I also do Zumba and am very, very fit.

    I'm not really sure how you could say that the size of one's teeth would prevent you from approaching that person. That kinda baffles me a little. I could understand the hair I guess... but I'm the kind of person who takes people for who they are .


    What am I assuming? I am making a physical observation based on the pics you have on your profile. Also, note that I'm 19 and you're 24. To compare our sizes is a bit unfair, but I'll bite. You are 6'1 and 165lbs. That is a bit skinny for being so tall. I'm guessing my biceps are more muscular than yours and my back is wider, but you don't have any flexing pics so it is hard to determine. I'm not saying I am a buff guy, not even close, but you brought my size into this so I felt the need to defend myself. You can be fit without having much mass (ie being muscular) so I don't see your point.

    Also, we all different preferences regarding how attractive we find other people. For me, big teeth such as yours makes you unattractive. It is good that you apparently can overlook physical shortcomings, but from a dating perspective, if I don't find a person attractive initially, I usually don't stick around long enough to find out what their personality is like. I'd say that is how most people are.

    I'd recommend not posting threads asking people for their opinions of you on the Internet if you are not prepared for the answers.


    Malnourished people are typically not going to be fit... Because they don't have the nourishment needed to fulfill their daily bodily functions efficiently. That's what my point is. I'm far from malnourished. The reason I also brought up your size was because you're close to my body size. I'm not sure why you wouldn't understand the point or become defensive. As you said, your age is 19, hence I understand the initial instinct to defend yourself. Mind you I'm only six years older than you are, but that's light-years on a male to male age difference standard.

    Also, I'm not trying to attack you or anything, but if you're being that critical on people who you first meet to the point that you're measuring their teeth to head ratio, that's pretty shallow and that would probably attribute to why you're single as well.
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    Sep 08, 2013 4:40 PM GMT
    Slim2010 said
    elektrisk564 said
    Slim2010 saidI am so tired of black men complaining that no one is interested in them and that no one finds them attractive. Stop blaming it on the color of your skin and find out what the real reason is.


    I also think it is strange OP is mentioning random stereotypes about black guys that I have never heard, such as that all black men care about is dick. If anything, that is a stereotype about all men, gay men in particular. I've never heard anyone say this in particular about black men.


    That's because he's making up excuses for himself. It's hard for him to find a good guy so he says to himself "Well, it must be because I'm black", which is stupid. He's using the color of his skin as a scapegoat and it's played out.


    It's more of a point of exhausting all the possible options I could find to figure out what, if anything, I need to do in order to succeed at what I'm trying to do. No one's using anything as a scape goat, and also your statement that you're "so tired of black men complaining that no one's interested..." indicates that I'm not the only black person who has drawn the conclusion that it's something to do with us a black people. Once again, I'm exhausting all my options to find a solution. I have seen nothing wrong with any other aspect of my life thus far and have concluded that it must be an initial prejudice from the majority (which doesn't mean all) of other people see the majority of black people as something undesirable.

    Look at it from this point: gay black men have a double stereotype that we have to prove against. Being that we're black, the majority will assume that we're uneducated, quick to anger, and not well mannered. If they also discover that we're gay, that's another spectrum of stereotypes (loud, overtly feminine, etc..)

    So, what have you done, since you're tired of black people saying these things, to assist us in realizing that our skin-color is not the real reason, since you don't think it is?

    Let me say that until I look at your racial information, I would not have known you were black... I would have concluded Latino or a mix... and ugh I had valid points so I'm not going to rewrite all that stuff because I just realized this fact. -____-

    I also have to mention that I'm not attacking you, just presenting topics for discussion so that I can further my knowledge on the subject... I am very elementary when it comes to relationships.
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    Sep 08, 2013 5:11 PM GMT
    The thread smells like insecurity. The others posters were rude. Honesty should be encourage but some things should be kept to themselves. It wouldn't hurt to be diplomatic.

    I don't think people are used to seeing strong ethnic traits on others and they appear normal to you.
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    Sep 08, 2013 5:11 PM GMT
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 said
    EddyGordo21 said
    elektrisk564 saidI would not approach you because I do not find you attractive. Your teeth look very large for your mouth, your lack of hair is unappealing, and you look malnourished. In general, I am not attracted to black men as far as dating goes. If I am to hook up with a black man, he has to be well built. I had sex with this black guy from California while I was in Mexico and it was fucking awesome. Anyway, you asked.. so here's the opinion from a random RJer.


    http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Sixth-famine-zone-found-in-Somalia-2156657.php

    This is malnutrition

    [img]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200776678271668&set=pb.1004100066.-2207520000.1378624977.&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F457312_10200776678271668_962060454_o.jpg
    [/img]
    this is me...


    Hi. I thought it was obvious I was using hyperbole but I guess not. I wouldn't assume you were malnourished given your description of self-sufficiency in your OP. I am just saying you have a seemingly great lack of muscle.


    I'm not really sure how you could assume something like that. You're not much smaller than I am in size. I'm very tall as well... I also do Zumba and am very, very fit.

    I'm not really sure how you could say that the size of one's teeth would prevent you from approaching that person. That kinda baffles me a little. I could understand the hair I guess... but I'm the kind of person who takes people for who they are .


    What am I assuming? I am making a physical observation based on the pics you have on your profile. Also, note that I'm 19 and you're 24. To compare our sizes is a bit unfair, but I'll bite. You are 6'1 and 165lbs. That is a bit skinny for being so tall. I'm guessing my biceps are more muscular than yours and my back is wider, but you don't have any flexing pics so it is hard to determine. I'm not saying I am a buff guy, not even close, but you brought my size into this so I felt the need to defend myself. You can be fit without having much mass (ie being muscular) so I don't see your point.

    Also, we all different preferences regarding how attractive we find other people. For me, big teeth such as yours makes you unattractive. It is good that you apparently can overlook physical shortcomings, but from a dating perspective, if I don't find a person attractive initially, I usually don't stick around long enough to find out what their personality is like. I'd say that is how most people are.

    I'd recommend not posting threads asking people for their opinions of you on the Internet if you are not prepared for the answers.


    Malnourished people are typically not going to be fit... Because they don't have the nourishment needed to fulfill their daily bodily functions efficiently. That's what my point is. I'm far from malnourished. The reason I also brought up your size was because you're close to my body size. I'm not sure why you wouldn't understand the point or become defensive. As you said, your age is 19, hence I understand the initial instinct to defend yourself. Mind you I'm only six years older than you are, but that's light-years on a male to male age difference standard.

    Also, I'm not trying to attack you or anything, but if you're being that critical on people who you first meet to the point that you're measuring their teeth to head ratio, that's pretty shallow and that would probably attribute to why you're single as well.


    I see you are reading into my words to this extent because you do not have any other answer. I said "You look malnourished." not "You are malnourished." Please read more carefully next time. I still don't understand the point of you bringing up my size so please elaborate. Also, I think any person of any age would defend themselves if they felt they were being criticized. The difference here is that you ASKED for opinions. You might think being older gives you some magical insight but apparently it isn't doing you much good considering you've posted a topic asking basically what's wrong with you.

    I assess their overall physical attractiveness to decide if I want to pursue them. If you don't think guys do that, you've been out of the game for too long. Also, I'm single because a) I'm not looking for a relationship and b) I live in a small town in the Bible belt. I do not need to date an adonis but he has to meet my physical standards.
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    Sep 08, 2013 6:09 PM GMT
    Ummmm I'm sorry but.. WTF are you talking about?

    Black guys are thought of as "Easy"? Never heard of that.. unless I was acting easy then maybe yes they thought that of me, the same goes for you, don't act Easy and they won't assume it, or prove the wrong

    Maybe these are stereotypes of fem party gay black guys. Maybe that's why I don't know

    Not EVERY Problem we people of color come across is because of our race... Seriously

    We are sometimes seen as a fetish, but a guy who thinks that way likely has many other problems.. hints they are scum bags to you

    You just seem to meet some pretty bad.. Odd guys icon_confused.gif

    Sorry! icon_biggrin.gif

    Also personality wise I wouldn't approach you, you seem very wannabe prestigious.. that's kinda lame man, you just be who you Really are and then people will know who you are for themselves..

    For example. You don't hear true rebels Screaming "I am a rebel" down the streets.. do you? No but you do see posers trying to prove it to people every second trying to get people to like them.. that's lame and childish on its own.. Bye!