what was the reaction of your straight best pal, when he came to know that you are a gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    I asked this because I want to tell my best buddy my true identity.. but he's straight. what will be his reaction?
    as a straight guy, he tends to share with me every girl he flirts with or like.
    I'm afraid that we won't remain best if I tell..icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 5:42 PM GMT
    I'm curious about this, too, because I haven't told any of my buddies, and they're all straight jocks. We've known each other since we were kids and are really tight. I'm really concerned when I tell them because i'm beginning to feel like i should. But, I guess everyone is different so I need to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 5:49 PM GMT
    He was accepting of me, but still a homophobe in general when we were out in public (as one example, when Will and Sonny had their big kiss moment on Days Of Our Lives, which for some strange reason was on TV at a restaurant where we were having lunch, he said "Gross, faggots!" in a lame effort to impress some hot waitresses there). We had a massive falling out just over a year ago, and some of it (the following is paraphrased) had to do with him thinking that I sabotaged his relationship in hopes of him magically becoming gay and being with me. It's funny, because he and this girl had already broken up 4 times before this 5th breakup, and one of those was due to her cheating and one was due to him being verbally abusive.

    Some guys handle the news well, and some don't. Just be ready for him not wanting to hear about guys that you think are hot or about your sexcapades, because that takes an extremely comfortable and open-minded straight guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 5:51 PM GMT
    Yeah, I know you're right and that's the logical way to think, but we have a lot of years together and they are like family to me and some of them are closer to me than some of my family is to me. I guess I'll know when the time is right; I'm just not ready, yet, but I know I want to, at some point. Thanks, Shark.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 5:52 PM GMT
    She was excited for me and told me she already kind of knew. We are best friends to date and she knows EVERYTHING about me. Whenever I go home on leave I treat her and her son to ANYTHING they want. She got me out of my "Shell."

    ... You never realize how much "listening" and being there means to someone.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Sep 11, 2013 5:54 PM GMT
    If you wait long enough, they'll be telling you that they figured it out and already know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 5:57 PM GMT
    I was afraid to come out to my straight jock friends in fear of rejection.

    But they all seemed to like me MORE after I came out (this was right after high school ended). They all said something like "I respect you because you're YOU first, not gay first." It was probably eye-opening to them to realize that not all gay guys are obsessed with fashion and Lady Gaga. Now I routinely make gay jokes around them, and even playfully flirt. It's all good.

    That's why everyone should come out and not live in fear -- open people's eyes. I've yet to have a negative reaction from ANYONE I have come out to, aside from two douchebags I met freshman year in college.

    If you're comfortable in your own skin, others will take your lead and be comfortable around you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 5:58 PM GMT
    MCB_ saidI was afraid to come out to my straight jock friends in fear of rejection.

    But they all seemed to like me MORE after I came out (this was right after high school ended). They all said something like "I respect you because you're YOU first, not gay first." It was probably eye-opening to them to realize that not all gay guys are obsessed with fashion and Lady Gaga. Now I routinely make gay jokes around them, and even playfully flirt. It's all good.

    That's why everyone should come out and not live in fear -- open people's eyes. I've yet to have a negative reaction from ANYONE I have come out to, aside from two douchebags I met freshman year in college.

    If you're comfortable in your own skin, others will be comfortable around you.

    I wish I'd learned and understood all of this at a younger age, but it's totally true.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 5:58 PM GMT
    MCB_ saidI was afraid to come out to my straight jock friends in fear of rejection.

    But they all seemed to like me MORE after I came out (this was right after high school ended). They all said something like "I respect you because you're YOU first, not gay first." It was probably eye-opening to them to realize that not all gay guys are obsessed with fashion and Lady Gaga. Now I routinely make gay jokes around them, and even playfully flirt. It's all good.

    That's why everyone should come out and not live in fear -- open people's eyes. I've yet to have a negative reaction from ANYONE I have come out to, aside from two douchebags I met freshman year in college.

    If you're comfortable in your own skin, others will take your lead and be comfortable around you.


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 6:21 PM GMT
    My straight best-friend is my roommate and he couldn't have been more chill about the whole thing. He doesn't care. We've known each other for about 7 years and we're like brothers, he didn't let me being gay stand in the way of that relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 7:27 PM GMT
    In high school, one friend immediately stopped talking to me...until about 20 years later when he "came out" and apologized to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 8:19 PM GMT
    Hmmmm nice thing to talk about. Shark is right, a true friend will be with you no matter circumstances. See my case:

    My best friend is like a brother to me. When I tried hypothetically to tell him,he just replied that he hated gay so much that he could gather them all in a city and explode them with a atomic bomb. His answer pretty dissapointed me. Two years later he told me that I should get a girlfriend and even tried a double date. But I refused and had to tell him right away. At first he was very closed-minded and felt like if I lied him for long time. We fought for 3rd time and we didn't talk for like 3 months. He approached to me afterwards and later we started to talk about it. At the end he told me he realized that I was more important to him than his dislike to gay. He still have a little gay spite, but he loves me as a brother. He talks a bit of straight things and I share him my things too. So don't worry, a true friend will be with you no matter what.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 8:33 PM GMT
    Everyone with doubts about coming out should look at silverwolf's example. His best friend, a total homophobe, is informed that someone close to him is gay. He's angry because of his entrenched ignorance, but then lets the idea of a gay friend float around his head. After thinking about it for a bit, he realizes that he values his true friend more than a sexuality label.

    This is why coming out (when you are ready, of course) is so great. It liberates you, and it directly affects those close to you, in effect HUMANIZING what it means to be a gay man. In other words, most homophobes are unaware that gay people are there everywhere you go. When you, the good buddy, reveal that this is who you are, the homophobe is forced to look at YOU, the person, and not the sexuality.

    The rest happens naturally, and if the person walks out of your life because you come out, then it's his loss.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 8:41 PM GMT
    You should know by now if your Bff is a homophobe.. icon_confused.gif

    If he is.. You might have some trouble..
    If he isn't there might be some rebuilding to do..

    After all.. He thinks you are a straight guy..right??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 8:47 PM GMT
    My best friend is an ex-homophobe.

    He was my random freshman year roommate in college. We hit it off famously from the second we met. I came out to him about a month after meeting him, after a lot of angst and worry. He's extremely straight: Puerto Rican, devout Catholic, huge sports fan, the whole nine yards. After I told him, he just smiled and we talked about it. It wasn't even weird.

    I asked him a short while after that "what would you have done had you known beforehand that you'd have a gay roommate?" His response: "Probably request a room change." I looked at him, rolled my eyes and said "see how stupid that is? We wouldn't be friends."

    Now, I tell him about my dating life and he knows everything about me. He always encourages me to come to him for advice, and I have taken him up on it many times.

    His entire view of gay people completely changed because of one person's coming out to him. Also, I introduced him to the love of his life, a sweet girl from my high school, whom he has been with for two years now.

    Freaking beautiful.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 9:12 PM GMT
    I was 23 when I told my best friend. He didn't care and still asked me to be his best man at his wedding. To this day, we remain best friends. In fact, he and his wife along with my bf and myself are going to several college football games next month. We have the best time when we hang out!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 9:16 PM GMT
    MCB_ saidMy best friend is an ex-homophobe.

    Freaking beautiful.


    That really was.. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 9:53 PM GMT
    MCB_ saidMy best friend is an ex-homophobe.

    He was my random freshman year roommate in college. We hit it off famously from the second we met. I came out to him about a month after meeting him, after a lot of angst and worry. He's extremely straight: Puerto Rican, devout Catholic, huge sports fan, the whole nine yards. After I told him, he just smiled and we talked about it. It wasn't even weird.

    I asked him a short while after that "what would you have done had you known beforehand that you'd have a gay roommate?" His response: "Probably request a room change." I looked at him, rolled my eyes and said "see how stupid that is? We wouldn't be friends."

    Now, I tell him about my dating life and he knows everything about me. He always encourages me to come to him for advice, and I have taken him up on it many times.

    His entire view of gay people completely changed because of one person's coming out to him. Also, I introduced him to the love of his life, a sweet girl from my high school, whom he has been with for two years now.

    Freaking beautiful.




    icon_smile.gif your story is very special. Hahahah in my case, he last time told me that he would trust me if I got him a girlfriend because he told me because I am gay and it is expected to me to hang with cute girls. ( I was going to reply him, but he was just kidding; I hang with girls, but mostly I hang with boys). Even after graduating from college, he told me that if we got jobs at the same place, we could be roomates. Maybe I didn't change his vision about gay people, but maybe at time he will.
    Remeber, you have to feel ready, but don't take too much time because you may cause misunderstandings. People don't understands us, because they have an image of us as gays, but after all, we are humans. I don't support gay movements because of gay benefits, we should fight for our human rights.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 11, 2013 10:11 PM GMT
    My str8 best friend and his wife was my first drunken 3 way! I woke up naked and hard, wrapped up in his arms & legs, his wife spooning against my side and thought to myself "Oh, this DOES explain a LOT of things!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 10:21 PM GMT
    I had three equally best friends who were straight. Two were on my university H20-polo team. One stopped speaking to me when I told him my news. He gave me the 'f' bomb and stormed away. Guess I should add that he was (is) LDS (Mormon). So - you can guess that I don't have too many good thoughts about that religion. My other two best friends at the time: Fine with my news. One was even curious - and ended up bi (once he got a taste of men). Pun intended.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 10:38 PM GMT
    I've come out to two of my good straight buddies. one guy I was in ROTC and college with, the other was at my first duty station. neither knew I was gay at all.

    both instances they were in close proximity to new orleans and knew i liked to party there, so they both were just persistent about wanting to hang out again since we hadn't in years.

    in both cases, i told them over facebook message that "hey, i'm always down for a good time in new orleans, but you're going to have to get your own hotel room because i'm dating someone and it's a dude. so yeah".

    both were like, "man i had no idea, but hey its whatever, we just want to party and hang out again".

    to me, that scenario seemed to work really well. it wasn't like i invited them over for dinner and put them on the spot or something weird like that. they got to meet my boyfriend and i think it helped maybe put their mind at ease against the standard flamboyant stereotype that gay men have.

    just my two cents. it's really nervous and awkward when you're about to tell someone, but man it just feels so fucking good afterwards (especially if you have good, friendly results). to be able to be who the fuck you are and not worry about lying or hiding anymore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 10:40 PM GMT
    as a side note, since the repeal of DADT, and with DOMA being struck down, i've received a couple of messages from other good straight friends of mine that were like, "man, i had no idea, but good for you and i'm proud and happy for you".

    i'm so fucking glad I live in an era like today in the USA where stuff like this is even a conversation point. i can't imagine growing up gay in like the 1930s or something. or anywhere in Africa.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 10:44 PM GMT
    I think his exact words were "No way! That's cool. Hey, you wanna go play some Frisbee?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 10:45 PM GMT
    This was decades ago but one of my first jobs was in a mall. It became known I was hanging out with the gay people. When I went to see a good straight friend of mine in the liquor store I remember him ignoring me, walking to the back, and not coming out until I left.
    This was a repeated experience of mine with my straight friends but, again, it was years ago. Today, they would probably at least make believe they didn't mind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2013 10:48 PM GMT
    gta5iscomingin6days saidwell... my homeboy and me were texting each other about the mister cee situation among other things. he said that mister cee is a fag and i was like damn... how am i going to tell him if he's saying that shit? icon_sad.gif haven't came out to him yet and the reason why i'm reluctant to is because of that.

    You could innocently tell him "that you had no idea he was such a redneck/pussy/lame-ass homophobe". Puts the ball in his court, without having to come out (right away).