"I Love Being A Bisxual" - The Deleted Thread

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    Sep 12, 2013 3:24 PM GMT
    Just a few moments ago, another RJr posted a thread titled "I Love Being A Bisexual". In that OP, the RJr stated his pride in who and what he is, and asked questions which called out the gay community on if bisexuals are not fully accepted.

    As a man who self-identifies as "Gay", I felt such strong empathy for the OP that I posted the following response...and got a message back that the "Page Requested Not Found".

    GAMRican saidThere is so much stigma and stereotype associated with being bisexual, that I will not go into these here. Do a search here on RJ for "bisexual" and you will turn up troves of threads on the topic.

    I do hope that over time, bisexuals become fully embraced by our LGBT community and that our larger community and society "gets over" whatever stereotypes and stigmatizing prejudice it exhibits in today's society.

    “Until we are all free, we are none of us free. ”
    ― Emma Lazarus


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    Sep 12, 2013 3:29 PM GMT
    failscarf saidWhy should I care though?
    You act like being a bi is like having a burn mark.

    Really bisexuals fit in better with mainstream society so I don't know why I should feel sorry for them though. Its not like they don't fit in mainstream society AND the gay scene.

    Speaking from experience, given the rejection and the mountain of negative (and unfounded) assumptions that a bisexual person generally experiences from gays, that's entirely untrue.
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    Sep 12, 2013 3:34 PM GMT
    In theory I have no problem with bisexuals. It's absurd to assume a bisexual can't form a stable relationship with a man. In practice though, I don't want to see them post about beautiful women.
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    Sep 12, 2013 3:38 PM GMT
    gta5iscomingin5days saidin order for someone to have people tolerant towards them, they need to learn how to be tolerant towards others. that's for any gay person here that happens to have a problem with women, bisexuals, straight guys, bicurious guys, transgendered men and women and etc. i just think it's pathetic seeing gay guys talking about "accept me for who i am. be tolerant" when they can't even practice or believe what they preach. whoever is on that mess needs to sit down and shut up.


    Word!
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    Sep 12, 2013 3:57 PM GMT
    Be proud bisexuals. Even if certain people who ask for tolerance fail to practice what they preach, know that it's an issue with them and not with you.
  • PR_GMR

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    Sep 12, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    Ok, I'll bite.

    I'm bisexual.. but at this point in my life (turned 40 a couple of weeks ago) I made the decision to date men exclusively. I wasn't gay during my teenage years. My same-sex feelings developed thru my twenties and grew very strong in my thirties. Now, I'm mostly attracted to men.

    But some women still get my attention. For example, yesterday at work, I was helping a young, nubile 18-year old girl buy a Macbook. I noticed her fit, but curvy shape earlier on, but once I started to interact with her, I was turned on. She was pretty, soft-spoken, soft-skinned, and just very feminine. My cock wanted her.

    But I slapped the thought of asking for her number out of my mind. Just this past Sunday, I had a tremendous potent experience making love to a man. He's younger than me (30), bearded, in good shape, a bit hairy, with a big cock and a gorgeous, manly ass. He was amazing--a superb bottom--and I felt connected to him. I'll be seeing him again soon.

    I just can't deny that I love the sexual company of men. I find a hot guy intoxicating, and I want to build a life with a man. I've been in love with a man before.. and it was heart-wrenching for me (because he was a selfish asshole).. but I'm not going back to women. I guess I'm bisexual.. but falling into the gay side of the fence. And I'm content about it.

    There are many other reasons why I prefer men: Women don't have casual sex; they date for 'marriage and children'. Two things I'm not currently interested in. Also, I don't want to be a 'disease vector'.. since, I'll admit, I can be promiscuous. If I end up with a disease, I want that to fall that on me and not on some unsuspecting wife.

    So, there you have it.. That's my bisexual perspective.
  • PR_GMR

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    Sep 12, 2013 4:10 PM GMT
    And no sooner did I posted that than some embittered dude (who approached me here before) emailed me to slam me over being bisexual.

    Dude, you aren't my type. Were never my type. Never had a chance with me. Your fixation with me is just.. laughable. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 12, 2013 4:23 PM GMT
    all the stigma around bisexual cheating on you are all lies. im bisexual myself and im a monogamous man
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    Sep 12, 2013 4:27 PM GMT
    failscarf said
    juvenescences said
    failscarf saidWhy should I care though?
    You act like being a bi is like having a burn mark.

    Really bisexuals fit in better with mainstream society so I don't know why I should feel sorry for them though. Its not like they don't fit in mainstream society AND the gay scene.

    Speaking from experience, given the rejection and the mountain of negative (and unfounded) assumptions that a bisexual person generally experiences from gays, that's entirely untrue.


    Try again hun.
    Or just look at all the menz trying to find and screw a married man.

    You aren't bi, so you'll never get it. You will just continue to be a walking contradiction by incorrectly stereotyping, just like every other intolerant gay out there preaching tolerance at straight people.

    Next...
  • PR_GMR

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    Sep 12, 2013 4:29 PM GMT
    Two hate emails, from the same sad-ass dejected dude, in less than 10 minutes. Gotta love it. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 12, 2013 4:36 PM GMT
    I have to admit, PR, that I don't understand this:

    "Women don't have casual sex; they date for 'marriage and children'."

    ...many most certainly do.

    This: " Also, I don't want to be a 'disease vector'.. since, I'll admit, I can be promiscuous. If I end up with a disease, I want that to fall that on me and not on some unsuspecting wife."

    ...is equally confusing. How is an unsuspecting wife different from an unsuspecting gay male partner? I felt I should comment as it sounds like one is more important than the other. icon_neutral.gif

  • PR_GMR

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    Sep 12, 2013 4:42 PM GMT
    meninlove said I have to admit, PR, that I don't understand this:

    "Women don't have casual sex; they date for 'marriage and children'."

    ...many most certainly do.

    This: " Also, I don't want to be a 'disease vector'.. since, I'll admit, I can be promiscuous. If I end up with a disease, I want that to fall that on me and not on some unsuspecting wife."

    ...is equally confusing. How is an unsuspecting wife different from an unsuspecting gay male partner? I felt I should comment as it sounds like one is more important than the other. icon_neutral.gif



    Ok. I'll elaborate. In general, the vast majority of women aren't into casual sex. If you ever watched the run of 'Sex And The City', that's obvious. For the exception of Samantha, the rest of them wanted marriage and children. It's just what is. Women are wired for reproduction. And.. let's be honest, the vast majority of men who have sex with men aren't into relationships. I know I'm gonna get flak for that comment, but not all gay men are like you, meninlove.

    As for the second comment, I wouldn't want to give an unsuspecting gay male partner a disease either. But HIV is a predominant reality of the gay world, and one that we must live with. I'm currently seeing someone that is positive. It is what it is.
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    Sep 12, 2013 4:56 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    meninlove said I have to admit, PR, that I don't understand this:

    "Women don't have casual sex; they date for 'marriage and children'."

    ...many most certainly do.

    This: " Also, I don't want to be a 'disease vector'.. since, I'll admit, I can be promiscuous. If I end up with a disease, I want that to fall that on me and not on some unsuspecting wife."

    ...is equally confusing. How is an unsuspecting wife different from an unsuspecting gay male partner? I felt I should comment as it sounds like one is more important than the other. icon_neutral.gif



    Ok. I'll elaborate. In general, the vast majority of women aren't into casual sex. If you ever watched the run of 'Sex And The City', that's obvious. For the exception of Samantha, the rest of them wanted marriage and children. It's just what is. Women are wired for reproduction. And.. let's be honest, the vast majority of men who have sex with men aren't into relationships. I know I'm gonna get flak for that comment, but not all gay men are like you, meninlove.

    As for the second comment, I wouldn't want to give an unsuspecting gay male partner a disease either. But HIV is a predominant reality of the gay world, and one that we must live with. I'm currently seeing someone that is positive. It is what it is.


    lol, OK then...mystified at this: "And.. let's be honest, the vast majority of men who have sex with men aren't into relationships. I know I'm gonna get flak for that comment, but not all gay men are like you, meninlove."

    Good grief, of course not all gay men are like us. Where ever did you get the idea we may think they are? =O

    You can't give a woman HIV any more than you can give a gay man HIV if you are practicing safe sex. The term unsuspecting smacks of sneaking, which was a little alarming to read, because I don;t think you're the sneaking around type at all.

    Perhaps it's where you live in the US, but up here a great many women enjoy sex and dating. Of course in the back of their minds (many of them) there is the desire to eventually settle down etc, but like any sane person, they want it to be with the right one, which entails, for many, trysts of a sexual nature, dates, romance and of course, hooking up.
    Oh yes, they do. However, societies often paint women who behave like men as slutty and men who behave that way as simply being men. My whole working life was spent in offices where men were a very small minority. Offices where there were 5 guys and well over 100 women. Oh the things I found out, lol.



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    Sep 12, 2013 5:08 PM GMT
    PR_GMR saidTwo hate emails, from the same sad-ass dejected dude, in less than 10 minutes. Gotta love it. icon_lol.gif


    "Block Him" works wonders.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Sep 12, 2013 5:08 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    PR_GMR said
    meninlove said I have to admit, PR, that I don't understand this:

    "Women don't have casual sex; they date for 'marriage and children'."

    ...many most certainly do.

    This: " Also, I don't want to be a 'disease vector'.. since, I'll admit, I can be promiscuous. If I end up with a disease, I want that to fall that on me and not on some unsuspecting wife."

    ...is equally confusing. How is an unsuspecting wife different from an unsuspecting gay male partner? I felt I should comment as it sounds like one is more important than the other. icon_neutral.gif



    Ok. I'll elaborate. In general, the vast majority of women aren't into casual sex. If you ever watched the run of 'Sex And The City', that's obvious. For the exception of Samantha, the rest of them wanted marriage and children. It's just what is. Women are wired for reproduction. And.. let's be honest, the vast majority of men who have sex with men aren't into relationships. I know I'm gonna get flak for that comment, but not all gay men are like you, meninlove.

    As for the second comment, I wouldn't want to give an unsuspecting gay male partner a disease either. But HIV is a predominant reality of the gay world, and one that we must live with. I'm currently seeing someone that is positive. It is what it is.


    lol, OK then...mystified at this: "And.. let's be honest, the vast majority of men who have sex with men aren't into relationships. I know I'm gonna get flak for that comment, but not all gay men are like you, meninlove."

    Good grief, of course not all gay men are like us. Where ever did you get the idea we may think they are? =O

    You can't give a woman HIV any more than you can give a gay man HIV if you are practicing safe sex. The term unsuspecting smacks of sneaking, which was a little alarming to read, because I don;t think you're the sneaking around type at all.

    Perhaps it's where you live in the US, but up here a great many women enjoy sex and dating. Of course in the back of their minds (many of them) there is the desire to eventually settle down etc, but like any sane person, they want it to be with the right one, which entails, for many, trysts of a sexual nature, dates, romance and of course, hooking up.
    Oh yes, they do. However, societies often paint women who behave like men as slutty and men who behave that way as simply being men. My whole working life was spent in offices where men were a very small minority. Offices where there were 5 guys and well over 100 women. Oh the things I found out, lol.





    Where do you live, meninlove? Just curious.

    From my interactions with women.. and conversations with female friends.. the vast majority of women crave relationships and aren't into hooking-up. Yeah, I've encountered the 'slutty' women, but they're few and far in between. Hell, at one point I had a subscription to Adultfriendfinder just to find the slutty women. Men outnumbered women there like 12 to 1. icon_lol.gif

    I don't sneak around. I'm not in a relationships.. There's no one 'to sneak around' on. If I were in a relationship, I wouldn't sneak around.. but I can give you glimpses on how sex truly are with men that will shock you, as it seems you're majorly the romantic type (that's always been my impression of you. You never fuck around).

    Hell, men who fuck other men don't even want to be labeled as gay.. that's why the medical establishment now uses the term 'men who have sex with men' to describe the vast majority of men who fuck around. You have.. the straight married men who crave cock up their ass.. The black men who can't admit they like other men and proliferate the 'downlow' underground culture. Gay men who routinely has sex parties in hotel rooms and houses. Bathouse culture. Open-relationship gay men inviting thirds into their bedroom. Anonymous sex with bottoms offering their lubed ass to anyone happening in countless hotel rooms. All you have to do is take a passing glance at the cragislist men seeking men section to know how the vast majority of the gay world behaves.. Meninlove, I envy you. You're in the minority with your romantic views.
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    Sep 12, 2013 5:24 PM GMT

    "I can give you glimpses on how sex truly are with men that will shock you, as it seems you're majorly the romantic type (that's always been my impression of you. You never fuck around). "

    lol, my word, PR! I doubt there is anything you could tell Bill or I that we're unaware of. This for example:

    " Hell, men who fuck other men don't even want to be labeled as gay.. that's why the medical establishment now uses the term 'men who have sex with men' to describe the vast majority of men who fuck around. You have.. the straight married men who crave cock up their ass.. The black men who can't admit they like other men and proliferate the 'downlow' underground culture. Gay men who routinely has sex parties in hotel rooms and houses. Bathouse culture. Open-relationship gay men inviting thirds into their bedroom. Anonymous sex with bottoms offering their lubed ass to anyone happening in countless hotel rooms."

    This is all very old news.
    We're from the days where 'anything goes' without any form of safe sex guidelines. We're from the days where lineups at venereal disease clinics were often up to 100 people long, and sometimes more. icon_wink.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Sep 12, 2013 5:33 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    "I can give you glimpses on how sex truly are with men that will shock you, as it seems you're majorly the romantic type (that's always been my impression of you. You never fuck around). "

    lol, my word, PR! I doubt there is anything you could tell Bill or I that we're unaware of. This for example:

    " Hell, men who fuck other men don't even want to be labeled as gay.. that's why the medical establishment now uses the term 'men who have sex with men' to describe the vast majority of men who fuck around. You have.. the straight married men who crave cock up their ass.. The black men who can't admit they like other men and proliferate the 'downlow' underground culture. Gay men who routinely has sex parties in hotel rooms and houses. Bathouse culture. Open-relationship gay men inviting thirds into their bedroom. Anonymous sex with bottoms offering their lubed ass to anyone happening in countless hotel rooms."

    This is all very old news.
    We're from the days where 'anything goes' without any form of safe sex guidelines. We're from the days where lineups at venereal disease clinics were often up to 100 people long, and sometimes more. icon_wink.gif



    I hear you.. and those scary days could come again still. HIV is on the rise. I'm aware of it.. and it makes me conflicted about my promiscuous behavior. And...I do crave love and relationship. My innermost desire is to settle down with a man, even though I refuse to go without sex until I find one. I now I must be 'safer' and I struggle all the time with it.

    The thing is.. There's a vast difference in attitude from gay men who have been gay since they were kids.. to 'men who have sex with men' who only crave it once in a while as they pursue relationships with women. I think it will always be this always, as this type of bisexual desire exists on a scale (Kinsey). Sad, but true. Even in a culture that could completely embrace homosexuality, you're going to have men who would never come out of the closet.
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    Sep 12, 2013 5:38 PM GMT


    "There's a vast difference in attitude from gay men who have been gay since they were kids.. to 'men who have sex with men' who only crave it once in a while as they pursue relationships with women."

    Hmmm..so which group is more likely to be romantic with men? icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 12, 2013 5:45 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said

    ...You're in the minority with your romantic views.


    I'd like to challenge this statement.
    Not that it isn't true, but to ask: how would you know?
    Have you taken a pole of all gay men?
    Do you know how many coupled romantic guys there are out there?
    You see what you want to see; what you can see.
    How many guys disappear from this sight alone once they meet the man of their dreams?
    Nearly a year ago, me and mine were invited for a Sunday brunch at an acquaintance home, in the very definition of 'rural Texas' and I was floored by number of "romantic couples," All of us living off the radar even from each other.
  • PR_GMR

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    Sep 12, 2013 5:46 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    "There's a vast difference in attitude from gay men who have been gay since they were kids.. to 'men who have sex with men' who only crave it once in a while as they pursue relationships with women."

    Hmmm..so which group is more likely to be romantic with men? icon_wink.gif


    I think those who have found themselves as gay since early age are more likely to have a romantic attitude about it. I know I didn't come out that way. I experimented with men for years before discovering I preferred them.

    ...

    And, the third hate email has arrived. He's following our chat, meninlove. It's really egging him on. I should block this flea, but I find his emails amusing.
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    Sep 12, 2013 6:13 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    meninlove said

    "There's a vast difference in attitude from gay men who have been gay since they were kids.. to 'men who have sex with men' who only crave it once in a while as they pursue relationships with women."

    Hmmm..so which group is more likely to be romantic with men? icon_wink.gif


    I think those who have found themselves as gay since early age are more likely to have a romantic attitude about it. I know I didn't come out that way. I experimented with men for years before discovering I preferred them.

    ...

    And, the third hate email has arrived. He's following our chat, meninlove. It's really egging him on. I should block this flea, but I find his emails amusing.


    I usually do the same: I don't block them unless it starts reaching a plague of incoming, like when it hits a dozen and I haven't replied to the first one yet! Yikes. What's his problem?
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    Sep 12, 2013 6:18 PM GMT

    Dear PR's hate mailer. We're having a civil discussion, exploring our differences and gaining mutual understanding. If you have problems with that, too bad. icon_wink.gif
  • PR_GMR

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    Sep 12, 2013 6:29 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Dear PR's hate mailer. We're having a civil discussion, exploring our differences and gaining mutual understanding. If you have problems with that, too bad. icon_wink.gif


    Yep, meninlove and me are just a having friendly discussion. He sent a fourth email to 'apologize' now. (/shrugs)
  • PR_GMR

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    Sep 12, 2013 6:34 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    PR_GMR said

    ...You're in the minority with your romantic views.


    I'd like to challenge this statement.
    Not that it isn't true, but to ask: how would you know?
    Have you taken a pole of all gay men?
    Do you know how many coupled romantic guys there are out there?
    You see what you want to see; what you can see.
    How many guys disappear from this sight alone once they meet the man of their dreams?
    Nearly a year ago, me and mine were invited for a Sunday brunch at an acquaintance home, in the very definition of 'rural Texas' and I was floored by number of "romantic couples," All of us living off the radar even from each other.


    I want to be in love, to be honest. So, I'm probably in the 'minority' too. icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 12, 2013 6:35 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    meninlove said
    Dear PR's hate mailer. We're having a civil discussion, exploring our differences and gaining mutual understanding. If you have problems with that, too bad. icon_wink.gif


    Yep, meninlove and me are just a having friendly discussion. He sent a fourth email to 'apologize' now. (/shrugs)


    Good. Honestly PR, sometimes some people, lol. At any rate, it's been a good discussion here, and for both us, educational.

    warmly and respectfully,

    -Doug icon_biggrin.gif