Social anxiety?

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    Sep 12, 2013 9:47 PM GMT
    I am afraid of people in real life, I worry that they are going to turn out to be assholes and be hostile or violent or cruel or all three or more, I enjoy being myself but people often don't let you be yourself, often there is always at least one person who doesnt allow you to enjoy your own sense of humour just because they are too insecure with their own. Often I find that people make me uncomfortable just to establish their own dominant social comfortableness, showing aggression when I am simply being myself when my likes and dislikes and behaviour is none of their business and if they don't like me they should just leave me alone.

    In large social occasions I am usually trembling from anxiety that if I make a social blunder some assholes will laugh at me or worse take offense and cause drama. Often it doesnt even matter whether you make a social blunder or not, you can be a social butterfly and someone will just take offense for the sake of taking offense or out of jealousy, seems I can't win.

    I rarely enjoy myself in public because of these reasons.

    Is this social anxiety, or justified?
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    Sep 12, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    Both. There is something to be said for being sensitive to the people around you (for example: being an asshole to people you don't really know, even if you intend it as humour, is never justified). On the other hand, people are naturally resistant to change, which can include others' senses of humour, worldview, personality, etc. You shouldn't allow others to stop you from expressing yourself to the fullest, and as someone who is a recovering people pleaser I understand how much easier that is said than done.
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    Sep 12, 2013 9:57 PM GMT
    I don't like crowds and when people talk to me on real life I ignore them it's a saftey mechanism that I can't get rid of. So i push people away before they have a chance to get to know me, I feel safer that way.
  • seafrontbloke

    Posts: 300

    Sep 12, 2013 10:01 PM GMT
    I think I prefer crowds to small numbers. The fewer there are the more likely I'll have to be me and let the facade slip.
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    Sep 12, 2013 10:04 PM GMT
    I find when you have anxiety people judge you and punish you for it, and often use you to get away with shit that benefits them, and I am like how shallow can you get, any person with half a brain can see you are the loser, wasting your own heart and balls when you could be a hero and be a friend and help me be confident in public, but rarely have I ever had someone be so decent and real, which is so depressing, no wonder I hate humans so much when only a small minority is actually awesome.

    Some are awesome, just not enough.

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    Sep 12, 2013 10:05 PM GMT
    This afternoon I experienced some strong social anxiety. When I was walking into the gym, this guy stared at me, so I assumed he hated me. I looked intently at the floor and put someone else between us as I walk past him. Then just as I passed him, he started whistling the Marine Hymn. I assumed he was mocking me for being a wimp. Then I thought about it a lot while I was doing cardio. Finally, it occurred to me he might not have been hostile. Perhaps he just wanted to smile and nod at me. I'll never know because I was too anxious to make eye contact with him.
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    Sep 12, 2013 10:08 PM GMT
    Philibuster saidThis afternoon I experienced some strong social anxiety. When I was walking into the gym, this guy stared at me, so I assumed he hated me. I looked intently at the floor and put someone else between us as I walk past him. Then just as I passed him, he started whistling the Marine Hymn. I assumed he was mocking me for being a wimp. Then I thought about it a lot while I was doing cardio. Finally, it occurred to me he might not have been hostile. Perhaps he just wanted to smile and nod at me. I'll never know because I was too anxious to make eye contact with him.


    Okay now thats social anxiety, sounds like you need to get out of your head bro x
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Sep 12, 2013 10:09 PM GMT
    Just mask your anxiety with alcohol. It's a quick and effective fix.
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    Sep 12, 2013 11:13 PM GMT
    Yes I have a bit of social anxiety. I'm afraid people aren't going to like me if I'm too honest. Sometimes when people are whispering and laughing I think it's about me when it's probably not. I'm uncomfortable around large crowds of people. Sometimes I lash out at people when they argue with me because I feel attacked. I've gone through a lot of shit in my life that has made me put on a hard shell and avoid getting too close to people out of fear of rejection.

    But I try to be nice, crack jokes, find things I have in common with others and avoid drama and controversy. If controversial topics come up I either avoid them or talk about them in an assertive manner.

    The best advice I guess is know your audience.

    Some people will appreciate candor and off-color humor, some won't.
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    Sep 13, 2013 4:37 AM GMT
    I want to say that during my mid 20's, I had social anxiety but as I got older, I learned that it was up to me to choose which social setting would benefit me and which ones to avoid. Since our world has a huge population, I refuse to let one person, let alone 2 or 3, get my spirits down. There a tons of people whom I've met that accepts me for me and those are people that were worth meeting and developing good friendships with.