He's friends with someone he had sex with?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 2:59 AM GMT
    Hi all. I do hope yous can give me some input on this situation..

    Last week, the guy I'm dating and I were having dinner..Some where in the conversation he told me thatHe knew this guy from jackd a couple weeks he had sex with his friend "T" the night before we got "together" .

    Now he mentioned this guy before, and talks to him on the phone and hangs out with he and his husband often. He also claims that he didn't want to have sex with the guy at all .. and that it's not gonna happen again.






    So my question here is: why did he even tell me?

    :/ a little input?

    Thanks for taking the time to read and reply
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 3:22 AM GMT
    God, you're boring.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 3:25 AM GMT
    Warning signs All There..

    Leave Him... Leave Him Now....

    While You Can

    tumblr_miv21b0vLk1rzvdf6o1_500.gif

    Unless He's REALLY CUTE!

    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Sep 13, 2013 4:27 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidGod, you're boring.
    I love you icon_smile.gif
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Sep 13, 2013 4:56 AM GMT
    BreakingBen saidHi all. I do hope yous can give me some input on this situation..

    Last week, the guy I'm dating and I were having dinner at a bowling alley. Some where in the conversation he told me that he had sex with his friend "T" the night before we got "together" . He knew this guy from jackd a couple weeks and T has a boyfriend, and that this guy is infatuated with him.

    Now he mentioned this guy before, and talks to him on the phone and hangs out with he and his husband often. He also claims that he didn't want to have decided with the guy at all and he made him.. And that it's not gonna happen again.






    So my question here is: why did he even tell me?

    :/ a little input?

    Thanks for taking the time to read and reply
    he sounds like nothing but drama and trouble..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 5:14 AM GMT
    I kinda agree.. *sigh* this next date isn't going to have a happy ending.. haha.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Sep 13, 2013 6:47 AM GMT
    It's a small world. Most of my friends have slep with each other. Why is that so unusual?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 12:46 PM GMT
    I'm still good friends with some of my exes, so that's not a true issue.


    I don't see the logic in telling me though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 1:07 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidGod, you're boring.

    This is about all that needs to be said.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 3:14 PM GMT
    Boring, maybe. Judgemental like some of you so, not so much. Internet balls, these days. SO quick to disrespect, so reluctant for much else. :s
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 13, 2013 4:09 PM GMT
    I would consider it a compliment if someone I have been intimate with, after we both "moved on", would still desire to be friends.

    IDK if I would blab that out on the first date, though.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 9:42 PM GMT
    BreakingBen saidBoring, maybe. Judgemental like some of you so, not so much. Internet balls, these days. SO quick to disrespect, so reluctant for much else. :s

    English please.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2013 11:02 PM GMT
    Apparition saidIt's a small world. Most of my friends have slep with each other. Why is that so unusual?


    This. You beat me to it ;-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2013 3:16 AM GMT
    He has low self esteem; wanted you to know he's desired by others, so much so, a guy will cheat on his man to get with him.
    and maybe unconsciously letting you know he's not relationship material and has little respect for them--I'm just good for a quick fuck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2013 4:55 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidHe has low self esteem; wanted you to know he's desired by others, so much so, a guy will cheat on his man to get with him.
    and maybe unconsciously letting you know he's not relationship material and has little respect for them--I'm just good for a quick fuck.


    Noted.

    Well I will continue using this time we are in this limbo stage to try and understand this guy.

    We had a talk about it and you pretty much nailed it on the head. Well, at least the first part. We've been dating and hanging out and the respect for relationships is what I'm really trying to gauge.

    Also, I love the ignore function of these forums!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2013 6:38 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidGod, you're boring.


    Damn you are rudeicon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2013 7:21 PM GMT
    smartmoney said
    BreakingBen saidBoring, maybe. Judgemental like some of you so, not so much. Internet balls, these days. SO quick to disrespect, so reluctant for much else. :s

    English please.


    English, please.*

    ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2013 7:27 PM GMT
    This is where you decide if you trust him or not. If he says he's not doing anything, why would you not trust him? I get together with my ex and have a beer and talk regularly and my partner knows it. He even joins us on occasion, no jealousy, complete trust.

    It sounds like you're the one that needs to be dealing with this more than he. I think it's great that he felt comfortable enough to talk about it. Don't discourage that, encourage it by thanking him for sharing it and furthering the conversation about his feelings for the guy, thoughts about a relationship that's not monogamous and find out if you and he are on the same page about these issues.

    Openness in communications is hard to find in some guys so you're lucky in that respect.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Sep 14, 2013 10:06 PM GMT
    Turin said
    jmusmc85 saidGod, you're boring.


    Damn you are rudeicon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    He's blunt and cute.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Sep 14, 2013 10:10 PM GMT
    OP, it sounds like he is trying to work through it. You are dating. He feels like he can talk to you. It may not be such a bad thing overall.If there is further evidence of his playing around, then that may be a different thing. Try to deal with it and don't over analyze for now. Just keep your eyes and ears open.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2013 12:34 AM GMT
    Apparition saidIt's a small world. Most of my friends have slep with each other. Why is that so unusual?


    I went on a few dates with someone and had sex with him once, but he's just a friend now. It's been that way for three years and sex is never going to happen again between us. The romantic connection and chemistry isn't there and we both know it.

    Stuff like this happens.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Sep 15, 2013 1:15 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidGod, you're boring.

    +1 and hugs icon_smile.gif

  • Sep 15, 2013 3:41 AM GMT
    It is not a big deal. I am good friends with a guy I dated about a year ago. We've both been in relationships since going our separate ways. We still hang out, and we manage to not have sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2013 4:25 AM GMT
    eb925guy saidThis is where you decide if you......Openness in communications is hard to find in some guys so you're lucky in that respect.


    We talked last night about the points you've mentioned, and my mind if a lot more at ease.


    He's kind of.. teasing at me to see if I'm going to jump at a chance to judge and condemn him?

    And he's been very surprised to find how collected I respond to most- if not all- of his "confessions".

    It's a little weird to me.. but I guess I'm intriguing enough for him to want to open up like he has been.. haha.

    Please excuse any grammatical errors: my phone has almost ZERO intention on not correcting what I type in.


    Once again, thank you all for the contributions. I obv. don't have friends that will tell me what they really think, haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2013 4:49 AM GMT
    lsjtk_zpsfe4c6170.gif

    This thread has been just riveting....icon_neutral.gif