Question about social snubs

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2013 11:18 PM GMT
    Hey gang, just wondering what some of your opinions are about a social situation.

    How would you feel if you were excluded from attending a social event not once but twice by lifelong friends? With no explanation as to why you were excluded. Would you just let it go or hold a grudge and expect an apology and explanation?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2013 11:26 PM GMT
    This depends. Are you usually sociable with these friends? I have had friends who always decline my invites to hang out to the point where I just don't invite them anymore.

    Would you have 'fit in' at this event? E.g. if it's a gun show and you don't like guns, why would they invite you?

    If you think they just intentionally left them out, confront them and ask why. This is better than just being a 'trophy friend' or writing them off altogether without closure.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2013 11:31 PM GMT
    The events were beer festivals and yes the people who excluded me were like brothers. It felt like someone punched me in the gut when I saw on facebook a list of all my friends attending but my phone never rang.
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    Sep 15, 2013 11:37 PM GMT
    flguy57 saidThe events were beer festivals and yes the people who excluded me were like brothers. It felt like someone punched me in the gut when I saw on facebook a list of all my friends attending but my phone never rang.


    Do you have any history of not being able to control your alcohol or acting in an inappropriate manner in social situations such as beer festivals?
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    Sep 15, 2013 11:53 PM GMT
    Not any more than the other guys. This would have been my 1st time attending one. I missed them the year before.

    I guess I should give a little more background info. One of the guys is dating a BITCH who works for a radio station. She gets tickets to concerts, beer festivals, all sorts of events. Supposedly she could only get so many tickets. She provided a ticket to someone that she has said on multiple occasions that she hates. But could not get one for me. I told them I didn't expect a ticket from her. I would buy my own. Still they excluded me. I thought she liked me. I guess I was wrong and she was calling all the shots. Pussy whipped mother fucker of a lifelong friend of mine.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2013 11:58 PM GMT
    Stop all communication with them and see what happens. If they don't reach out to you to see how you're doing, then you'll know your answer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    Thanks guys for your input. I appreciate it. I haven't spoken to the main asshole in over a year but it just all exploded and I think I'm gonna have to cut the other one out of my life now. It sure does hurt because they were such a huge part of my life and I don't make friends easily.

    I would still like to hear more opinions and suggestions. I could use a good laugh. So give me some ideas on how to get even with these dickwads.
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    Sep 16, 2013 12:19 AM GMT
    Clingy much? Geez. icon_rolleyes.gif
    I'm sure friends of mine have hosted or attended events I wasn't told about. And if I blocked my street to traffic there still wouldn't be space to have everybody in my life over at the same time. I don't go around screaming and crying about how I was excluded and I doubt any of them do either.
    Just because you're in good with people doesn't give you the right to be on them like white on rice. Frankly I'd be creeped out by someone who followed everything I did and pitched a bitch when I wasn't aware of plans they had.
    Read up on what's called "co-dependency" because you've got it in spades.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Sep 16, 2013 12:48 AM GMT
    xrichx saidStop all communication with them and see what happens. If they don't reach out to you to see how you're doing, then you'll know your answer.


    Why not, the next time you talk to them, say, "That event looked really great!" If you can muster up sincerity and not cattiness, mention that it's an event that you would have loved to go to. See what they say. It may have been an oversight, it may have been intentional. I think you'll be able to judge their reaction to figure out which it is. If they are like brothers to you, like you said, there's probably an honest explanation.
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    Sep 16, 2013 12:56 AM GMT
    okonomiyaki saidClingy much? Geez. icon_rolleyes.gif
    I'm sure friends of mine have hosted or attended events I wasn't told about. And if I blocked my street to traffic there still wouldn't be space to have everybody in my life over at the same time. I don't go around screaming and crying about how I was excluded and I doubt any of them do either.
    Just because you're in good with people doesn't give you the right to be on them like white on rice. Frankly I'd be creeped out by someone who followed everything I did and pitched a bitch when I wasn't aware of plans they had.
    Read up on what's called "co-dependency" because you've got it in spades.


    Judgemental much? These people were like family. We spoke and saw each other weekly. It also has been a 35yr friendship. It was totally out of left field. I never ask to or even attend most of the event they do. This was just the ONE event I wanted to attend. Not that I need to explain myself to an opinionated prick that you seem to be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 12:58 AM GMT
    flguy57 saidThe events were beer festivals and yes the people who excluded me were like brothers. It felt like someone punched me in the gut when I saw on facebook a list of all my friends attending but my phone never rang.


    I don't invite my actual brothers to every event I attend, so I would expect "like brothers" wouldn't either, but if it bothers you so much, just ask about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 1:01 AM GMT
    I don't invite my brothers either and I have 3. Some times friends can be better than brothers. You don't have to live with them growing up.
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    Sep 16, 2013 1:06 AM GMT
    okonomiyaki saidClingy much? Geez. icon_rolleyes.gif
    I'm sure friends of mine have hosted or attended events I wasn't told about. And if I blocked my street to traffic there still wouldn't be space to have everybody in my life over at the same time. I don't go around screaming and crying about how I was excluded and I doubt any of them do either.
    Just because you're in good with people doesn't give you the right to be on them like white on rice. Frankly I'd be creeped out by someone who followed everything I did and pitched a bitch when I wasn't aware of plans they had.
    Read up on what's called "co-dependency" because you've got it in spades.

    Your response is not consistent with the OP's narrative. Are you bringing a lot of your own baggage in here?

    OP - I would just be cool and keep my distance. Let them make the first contact and keep yourself busy with hobbies or other people.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 16, 2013 1:09 AM GMT
    I wouldn't say anything.
    I wouldn't do anything in retaliation.
    But, I would never forget it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 1:11 AM GMT
    socalfitness said
    okonomiyaki saidClingy much? Geez. icon_rolleyes.gif
    I'm sure friends of mine have hosted or attended events I wasn't told about. And if I blocked my street to traffic there still wouldn't be space to have everybody in my life over at the same time. I don't go around screaming and crying about how I was excluded and I doubt any of them do either.
    Just because you're in good with people doesn't give you the right to be on them like white on rice. Frankly I'd be creeped out by someone who followed everything I did and pitched a bitch when I wasn't aware of plans they had.
    Read up on what's called "co-dependency" because you've got it in spades.

    Your response is not consistent with the OP's narrative. Are you bringing a lot of your own baggage in here?

    OP - I would just be cool and keep my distance. Let them make the first contact and keep yourself busy with hobbies or other people.


    Thank you. Good advice and I agree Mr Oko man needs to lay off the mean juice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 1:13 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidI wouldn't say anything.
    I wouldn't do anything in retaliation.
    But, I would never forget it.


    But would you end it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 1:17 AM GMT
    Aristoshark saidGetting even never feels as good as you think it will.
    It doesn't really cure the hurt. You think it will, but it doesn't.


    I know Sharky but it sure would be fun. icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 1:26 AM GMT
    first time's an oversight
    second time's a slight
    third time's a fight
    forth time you've missed your flight
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 1:30 AM GMT
    theantijock saidfirst time's an oversight
    second time's a slight
    third time's a fight
    forth time you've missed your flight


    Nice
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 1:46 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    theantijock saidfirst time's an oversight
    second time's a slight
    third time's a fight
    forth time you've missed your flight

    Fifth time you go out at night.
    Sixth time you enact a rite.
    Seventh time you come home tight.
    Eighth time you....um....
    fuck


    If you come home tight after the 7th time
    You did not fuck.
    Or so I hear
    That's not my fetish
    In my salad I like lettuce
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 1:51 AM GMT
    Kill them.... With Kindness. And sympathy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 2:04 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin saidKill them.... With Kindness. And sympathy.


    Thanks I believe that there is good in everyone. But I be damned if I can find it in some people.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 2:09 AM GMT
    flguy57 said
    GigoloAssassin saidKill them.... With Kindness. And sympathy.


    Thanks I believe that there is good in everyone. But I be damned if I can find it in some people.



    Oh I know. Some of them are quite a challenge....

    If all else fails, there's always voodoo... icon_twisted.gif


    ( chanting and rattling beads...)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2013 2:09 AM GMT
    xrichx saidStop all communication with them and see what happens. If they don't reach out to you to see how you're doing, then you'll know your answer.


    This. Anybody who is your friend will reach out to you in time. I routinely reach out to my friends near and far.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Sep 16, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    One of my best gay friends once opined: "A girl may not want to go to the party but she *always* wants to be invited."

    I'd be more than a little curious about the exclusion. Maybe time for a chat with who ever would be responsible for the guest list? Could be an oversight. Could be a slight. Only one way to find out for sure.