How to handle being the "new meat" in town...when you're trying to be serious?

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    Sep 16, 2013 9:16 AM GMT
    You know what I'm talking about. You visit a new city and you log onto jackd, grindr or adam and you have 25 billion messages on your phone/computer...and you're overflowing with abundance.

    I have put profiles up in a couple areas I'm considering moving, and I'm getting ton of responses from guy's Im interested in meeting. I'm happy about it, but at the same time I understand that alot of it is bluff.

    Where I live now, it's nothing happening. Same fuckers I told to fuck off fucking 2 fucking years ago still fucking trying to fuck with me. How the fuck does that happen! But, in the beginning when I moved here, I kinda got a fair amount of replies and guys wanting to meet too. But it was all just a result of being new, and 2 years later they either still right where I met them, or no where to be found. But they were interested at the time because I was new.

    So, I'm just making sure I am not meeting with guys who have fucked all the available options, and just waiting at the door for the next new person. Because those types, they're not really trying to be serious about shit. I want to hear especially from those who are older and have been or are in relationships that you met online would be helpful.




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    Sep 16, 2013 5:41 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidYou know what I'm talking about. You visit a new city and you log onto jackd, grindr or adam and you have 25 billion messages on your phone/computer...and you're overflowing with abundance.

    I have put profiles up in a couple areas I'm considering moving, and I'm getting ton of responses from guy's Im interested in meeting. I'm happy about it, but at the same time I understand that alot of it is bluff.

    Where I live now, it's nothing happening. Same fuckers I told to fuck off fucking 2 fucking years ago still fucking trying to fuck with me. How the fuck does that happen! But, in the beginning when I moved here, I kinda got a fair amount of replies and guys wanting to meet too. But it was all just a result of being new, and 2 years later they either still right where I met them, or no where to be found. But they were interested at the time because I was new.

    So, I'm just making sure I am not meeting with guys who have fucked all the available options, and just waiting at the door for the next new person. Because those types, they're not really trying to be serious about shit. I want to hear especially from those who are older and have been or are in relationships that you met online would be helpful.






    First of all that's way too cynical for 26!

    So 2 years later the guys who wanted to fuck with you are a) still trying to fuck with you, but you don't want them b) are right where you found them (under a rock on a sex site I assume) or c) no where to be found?

    Where else would they be? What do you expect after 2 years? A marriage proposition, or at least dating? (Not an unreasonable expectation). If you haven't had a date in 2 years part of the problem may be with something you are doing.

    Don't judge anybody so quickly. They will expect YOU to be making the rounds initially too! You will seem like a flighty risk at first. As large as it may seem the dating pool isn't that big, and gets smaller every day! Everyone is a bit jaded and gun shy.....you too! Go in and maintain a good attitude and you'll find friends at least.

    Love isn't easy to find...unless you do, then it seems easy! But that's the point, they are compatible and easy to get along with.

    Hey I've kissed a lot of Frogs, some really nice and cute Frogs too icon_biggrin.gif But not the right Prince for me. But I'm a bit of a hopeful romantic........ with reasonable expectations.

    I was just relaying some fairly typical BAD manners re an online site "Well I won't it change my behavior......it can poison the water for the good guys!"
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    Sep 16, 2013 8:18 PM GMT
    unckabasa said
    First of all that's way too cynical for 26!


    LOL...it wasn't meant to be cynical. It's just describing the situation 'as is' is all.

    It's not that I haven't had a date in 2 years, on the contrary. I've gone out on more than enough dates to last me for the next 2,000 years. But again, alot of those were when I first moved here, and when I first signed up to jack'd and grindr last year. Both of those instances attracted those guys who were looking to only meet someone new, but not get involved. There was 1 guy who would hit me up on Grindr incessantly. I didn't really respond/meet with him for a good 4 or 5 months. When I did, all was good but he wasn't trying to go anywhere with it. That's the stuff I'm talking about.

    Not so much that it SHOULD HAVE gone somewhere, but the fact that his actions were based on bluff, not on any kind of intention...He was just scouting for the new guy on Grindr.

    I'm not judging anyone. I just don't want my only options to be people I'm not interested in. And that's where I'm at now in this town. I know the potential of types of guys I CAN and HAVE dated prior to moving here (nothing but fine ass Puerto Ricans)...so to be here all this time is like selling myself short and settling. Because the type of guys I like are in short number here...and the ones that are left want some outdoorsy peckerwood mother fucker.
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    Sep 16, 2013 8:57 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    So, I'm just making sure I am not meeting with guys who have fucked all the available options, and just waiting at the door for the next new person. Because those types, they're not really trying to be serious about shit. I want to hear especially from those who are older and have been or are in relationships that you met online would be helpful.

    I agree those are not the guys most of us want, except for a purely physical trick. But from whom do you expect "to hear", when you take a passive role, as you seem to have done? When you make yourself a commodity, by listing on the gay hook-up sites you mentioned, you can't control who'll contact you, despite whatever criteria you may have specified.

    How about you take a more active role, and seek out the quality guys you want? Narrow down who you want, determine where & how guys like that can be found, and then reach out to THEM.

    I can't suggest what specific tactics to use at this point, because I don't know what kinds of guys you want. But if you're just spamming yourself with "here I am" announcements, you can expect to attract exactly what you've been getting.

    That's little better than scrawling your number on a mens room stall, "For a good time call". Who do you THINK will call you?
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    Sep 16, 2013 9:12 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    I can't suggest what specific tactics to use at this point, because I don't know what kinds of guys you want. But if you're just spamming yourself with "here I am" announcements, you can expect to attract exactly what you've been getting.

    That's little better than scrawling your number on a mens room stall, "For a good time call". Who do you THINK will call you?

    OK, when i say 'new meat', I don't mean the literal gay version of it. I mean it as being the new guy on the block...

    I'm not spamming myself with 'I'm here' messages. In fact, I actually am refraining from saying I'm visiting so I don't attract those types. I just put up a normal profile as if I just signed up and I live there.

    I will admit that since I'm not there, adam and jack'd are what I have to work with. Yes, I do take initiative to message people. Yes I do. But, I also get alot of responses as well, I'm not going to ignore the ones I like.

    failscarf said
    and the ones that are left want some outdoorsy peckerwood mother fucker.
    I don't know what this means.

    It's another way of describing a White guy who has a bunch of pics on his profile with him doing a plethora of outdoor activties.
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    Sep 17, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    failscarf said
    1. Thats a very tastless term, racist even.
    2. Do most of the guys that you want like outdoorsmen or just white guys in general?


    Well...I'm from the south. I have to speak like a southerner for people to understand where I'm coming from.

    There's a guy I've seen a few times who is White and outdoorsy. We have fun together. I have nothing against peckerwoods.

    Yes, in this town...people talk in their profiles how they want to go hiking/biking/etc...all of which is stuff peckerwoods mainly do. So that's what they go after, because they assume non-peckerwoods aren't about that life.
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    Sep 17, 2013 4:26 PM GMT
    Sounds like your gloating.. and doing a BAD job at it

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    Plus no one is going to believe it, try a more subtle approach next time..

    Mmmmkay?