!!!Moving to Hawaii!!! tips suggestions!?

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    Sep 17, 2013 4:41 AM GMT
    The title says it all! I'm shipping out to Honolulu Hawaii for awhile and to say that I'm ecstatic is an understatement. I want all of the tips and suggestions I can get from locals and regulars of the islands. Everything from clubs and bars to visit to general recreation. Give me all the info you've got boys! 
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    Sep 17, 2013 4:45 AM GMT
    Give away all of your shoes and replace them with flip flops. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 17, 2013 7:27 AM GMT
    xrichx saidGive away all of your shoes and replace them with flip flops. icon_biggrin.gif


    The correct term is 'rubbah slippah'
    Flip-Flops-1010001-480704461092291.jpg
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Sep 17, 2013 7:45 AM GMT
    Are you moving to Oahu? Obviously there's the beach, hiking, stand up paddling, surfing, kite surfing, booze cruises- there's a gay one as well, snorkeling. Definitely should check out the outer islands as well.

    Bars: there's Hula's a main stay, mixed crowd

    Lo jax; which markets itself as a sports bar

    Wang chungs- fun but small karaoke bar

    In betweens- even smaller karaoke bar, but hot guys go here

    Tapas- older, bear crowd

    Fusions- gets going after 2am til 4, kinda gross and seedy. Fun on occasion

    Bacchus- gay lounge bar, small, no dance floor, crowded, good looking under 40 crowd.

    Not gay but fun is Rumfire. They host a gay party last Sunday of the month.
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    Sep 17, 2013 9:44 AM GMT
    Agree with everything KepaArg says. I tend to stay near Bacchus for their nice bartenders, In-betweens for their fun times, and prior to going to Fusions for the 2-4 dance fest, maybe spend 20 minutes at LoJax.

    But if you want to get really fancy, you can always head down town for some classy bars and clubs with a artistic venues.

    If you wanna know about restaurants, do some research or talk to the locals like myself.
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Sep 17, 2013 11:20 AM GMT
    Get Lei'd
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Sep 17, 2013 11:27 AM GMT
    Duke's Bar. Order a Mai Tai. Best drink I've ever had yet.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 17, 2013 12:22 PM GMT
    Sounds like an awesome time.. from what I can remember, things are pretty expensive, I'd definitely get a handle on your expenses and adopt a budget.. not trying to be a downer, just being realistic. Have a great (and smart) time!

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 17, 2013 12:24 PM GMT
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3378838/
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    Sep 17, 2013 12:35 PM GMT
    Ant94538 saidThe title says it all! Im shipping out to Honolulu Hawaii for while and to say that I'm ecstatic is an understatement.  I want all of the tips and suggestions I can get from locals and regulars of the islands.  Everything from clubs and bars to visit to general recreation. Give me all the info you've got boys! 

    You might ask GAMRican/Alan directly, who lived in Honolulu 5 years.

    http://www.realjock.com/GAMRican
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    Sep 17, 2013 1:39 PM GMT
    Lots of great suggestions guys, thanks!!
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    Sep 17, 2013 1:41 PM GMT
    SSSurfer said

    If you wanna know about restaurants, do some research or talk to the locals like myself.


    I definitely willicon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 17, 2013 1:44 PM GMT
    Rhi_Bran saidOrder a Mai Tai. Best drink I've ever had yet.


    on my to do list. Lol
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    Sep 17, 2013 2:21 PM GMT
    -There's not too much more than that. Most of the gay scene is in the house parties, which means you need to get to know the social people higher up the chain of "Gay Honolulu". The best way to do this is to volunteer for local HIV/AIDS services organizations, go to gay oriented charity fundraisers and then start to network via Facebook. There's a huge "hookup crowd", but that's not really where the social crowd is located.
    -Rumfire is a good venue for meeting folks closer to the "A-List" gay crowd (which are the ones who have more of the house parties).
    -And, "it's a small island". Be prepared for a lot of couples, a lot of guys on the "DL", lots of tourists and military that are just looking for a nut, lots of "coconut wireless" gossip. Everybody will know who you are sleeping with.
    -Be prepared to be "bucketed" in regards to social class. Acknowledge that you're immediately in the "Oh, you're not from here" bucket (malahini). Know that there is an unwritten but real "racist pecking order" which exists in social AND business circles. The more you study, learn, and apply local culture and customs the better the chance that the island will "accept you" rather than "reject you". The acceptance/rejection can be subtle but very real. Right or wrong that's just the way it is. "Tourists" get all the "Aloha" and red carpet treatment. Once you live there, now you're part of the ecosystem and you're competing for the same rice bowl. If you're in the military, it can be an advantage/disadvantage depending on how you leverage it.
    -A fundamental and highly suggested reading list to help you understand and navigate what, to me, has been the most complex social and business environment I've ever experienced:
    "Managing with Aloha" by Rosa Say
    "Shoal of Time: A History of the Hawaiian Islands" by Gavan Daws
    "Land and Power in Hawai'i" by George Cooper
    "Hawaii's Story" by Hawaii's Queen: Liliuokalani
    After reading those books, you'll realize just how complicated and tense the balance of social/economic/political dynamics are in Hawai'i. Without the knowledge in these books, I would not have lasted as long as I did. Remember, Hawai'i is an enchanted place of beautiful yet deadly creatures. Kind of like "Pandora" from the movie "Avatar". Shit doesn't survive for thousands of years on the most isolated archipelago on earth without being "tough".
    -Be prepared for experience "American Guilt". You'll understand after you've read the books. Being a person of color, you will experience less of the subtle and overt prejudice discrimination than Caucasians. Yes, in some ways you will be "higher" on the social "totem pole" than white folks. Racism is an integral part of the culture. There is both open non-PC humor and more subtle racism at worst. Accept that this is part of the ecosystem. Navigate with knowledge from the books.
    -When asked your opinion on anything social/political, it is best to respond with something like, "I'm not from here and haven't been here long enough to have an opinion yet. Can you tell me your thoughts on the topic?" Then shut up and listen. Avoid coming out on one side or another on an issue as you will "lose" with somebody. Avoid criticizing anything "local".
    -Bring as little "stuff" as you need. Less is more in Honolulu. It's foolish to bring lots of "stuff" even if you're getting relo.
    -I went with 24 Hour Fitness while I lived there (for 5 years). Multiple locations on the island and most of the locations were heavy duty gyms.
    -If you're not into hiking, learn quick. It's one of the most valuable opportunities to enjoy nature that you may encounter in your life. Heck, NorCal has great hiking but not as good as Oahu.
    -Make sure and visit neighbor islands. Don't fall into the trap of just staying on O'ahu.
    -Use O'ahu as a jumping off point to go to Alaska, Asia and Australia if you can.
    -Be prepared for everything except fresh fruit, vegetables, and fish to be expensive. Really. One of the reasons I moved to San Francisco was for the LOWER cost of living. Not too many people can say that. Learn to stock up when stuff is on sale. Learn to hoard. Really. However, if you're making mega-bucks then you won't have to worry quite so much.
    -Be prepared for everything to run slower. Be prepared to be patient. Businesses, social gatherings, government. Everything. Go with the flow or you'll drive yourself nucking futs. Traffic is a good example. Speed limits around town are 25mph. Yes, 25mph. And, people generally don't speed (because there are oodles of cops who WILL stop you, ticket you, and take 45 minutes to do it), nor is "horn blowing" legally permitted unless it is an imminent emergency. You can get a ticket for blowing your horn.
    -People are nosy. Expect everybody to want to "get into your business, personal life, etc." Watch what you say...even standing in line at Foodland. You just never know who is listening (and everybody is listening) who is so-and-so's cousin's auntie's son-in-law's sistah or brah.
    -Don't try to speak pidgeon. If you weren't raised with it you'll come across as an ass. You can "pepper" your conversation with a word or phrase when you learn and know when it's appropriate, but don't try too hard. It will make the locals' eyes roll.
    -For business, make sure you join multiple professional associations. It's one of the easiest ways to make inroads into what is in reality a very closed ecosystem. Don't expect business to accept you with open arms. It is all about making and cultivating relationships BEFORE folks will do business with you.
    -Don't jaywalk. Don't violate motor vehicle laws when on a bicycle or scooter. You will get a ticket. Really. I got one on a bicycle after I stopped at a traffic light where there was no traffic. I went...but failed to look behind me. A cop was right behind me and I got a ticket...which took 45 minutes for him to write.
    -Business Aloha wear. Don't buy it new. Buy it at the Goodwill store. All the fancy Tommy Bahama is a waste of money and pegs you as "Oh, you're not from here." Know the different types of Aloha wear and pick the appropriate type for the occasion. Avoid "Hilo Hattie" Aloha wear at all costs. Only Tourists really wear such stuff.
    -Learn how to give, receive, and wear lei properly. Yes, there is protocol on giving, receiving, and wearing lei.
    -Get used to parking your shoes at the door at homes you visit. To wear shoes inside is a major faux pas in most homes.
    -Get ready for hellacious lack of parking and/or parking which costs you lots of money. Sadly, you really need a car on O'ahu. Avoid getting towed at all costs. The tow yard is near the airport and they treat you like a criminal when you go get your car out of impound. Sadly, the bus is "ok" but not good enough that you can ditch your car. A great alternative or addition to a car is a scooter. They are not licensed like cars, but like bicycles and are able to be parked anywhere a bicycle can be parked. Gasoline makes California prices look cheap.
    -Be ready to establish residency so that you can get a Hawai'i State ID. Try to keep your mainland drivers' license if you can. Although it may not make much difference in your case, I usually suggest to other to try to keep residency in a mainland state which has lower income taxes. But, you're from California so the taxes will be about the same. Get the Hawai'i State ID ASAP so that you can qualify for "Kama'aina" discounts.
    Expect the salary structure in most non-defense sector jobs to be about 30% less than the mainland. Yes, Hawai'i has a higher cost of living and lower salaries. Make money from clients on the mainland if you can.
    -Learn to surf. It's amazing.
    -Don't rent a place larger than you need. It's a waste of money (unless you plan to have a roommate to offset rent).
    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan
  • Import

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    Sep 17, 2013 2:58 PM GMT
    take me with you!!!!!!!!!!!
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    Sep 17, 2013 7:16 PM GMT
    Get your penis ready.
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    Sep 17, 2013 7:19 PM GMT
    have a lot of fun!
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    Sep 17, 2013 9:01 PM GMT
    GAMRican said



    That was very insightful information. Thank you so much. I'll check out those books as well
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    Sep 17, 2013 9:31 PM GMT
    I lived on O'ahu for four years, and I second most of what Alan said. I've quoted below the things I wanted to highlight.

    Be prepared for a completely different world. I would emphasize how difficult it is for a mainlander to be truly accepted by local culture. Alan's right, as a black guy you will often be treated better than white folks. Locals are mostly either native Hawai'ian, or the descendants of Japanese/Chinese/Filipino/Portuguese immigrants who worked the plantations. The haoles (white folks) were the overseers. Turn about is forever fair play, and you will get credit for being oppressed on the mainland. You get credit for ANYTHING other than being a straight white guy, so being gay generally was helpful, too. The anti-white mentality sucked for me, but for you, enjoy! Be prepared to be weirded out when some big Tongan dude affects his perception of a black accent and calls you "My brotha!" It will happen. icon_biggrin.gif

    Local decisionmaking is highly influenced by Japanese culture (people say "Asian," but that aspect is really Japanese). You have to come to consensus in a long, roundabout way, where no one says what they really want or think. It can be frustruating until you get used to it. If you are too loud or too forward, you're just a pushy mainlander and you will be ignored.

    People will say extraordinarily rude things, like "Where are you from, and when are you going back?" Learn to let it flow over you or you'll waste a lot of time in fruitless anger.

    The one place I'd disagree with Alan is about pidgin. Don't go overboard, but my experience is that if you let yourself gently be influenced by the local accent over a period of time, and learn to throw in some Hawai'ian words and local slang, it's viewed as RESPECTFUL, and a positive, not like you're making fun of people. My bf couldn't do it and he was sometimes a bit jealous of the extra crumbs of respect I got for it.

    I also agree about joining business organizations. It will take a while, but if you persevere people will ulimately peg you as one ok moke, even though you're from the mainland. The flip side is, locals often have this inflated idea of the sophistication and intelligence of the dreaded arrogant mainlander. By the time you're semi-accepted, you lose this edge. Catch 22.

    Spend time doing things you really enjoy and revel in them. For example, we had an outdoor shower, and I didn't shower inside the house for two years and oddly enough it's the thing I miss most.



    GAMRican said
    -Be prepared to be "bucketed" in regards to social class. Acknowledge that you're immediately in the "Oh, you're not from here" bucket (malahini). Know that there is an unwritten but real "racist pecking order" which exists in social AND business circles. The more you study, learn, and apply local culture and customs the better the chance that the island will "accept you" rather than "reject you". The acceptance/rejection can be subtle but very real. Right or wrong that's just the way it is. "Tourists" get all the "Aloha" and red carpet treatment. Once you live there, now you're part of the ecosystem and you're competing for the same rice bowl. If you're in the military, it can be an advantage/disadvantage depending on how you leverage it.
    ***
    -Be prepared for experience "American Guilt". You'll understand after you've read the books. Being a person of color, you will experience less of the subtle and overt prejudice discrimination than Caucasians. Yes, in some ways you will be "higher" on the social "totem pole" than white folks. Racism is an integral part of the culture. There is both open non-PC humor and more subtle racism at worst. Accept that this is part of the ecosystem. Navigate with knowledge from the books.
    -When asked your opinion on anything social/political, it is best to respond with something like, "I'm not from here and haven't been here long enough to have an opinion yet. Can you tell me your thoughts on the topic?" Then shut up and listen. Avoid coming out on one side or another on an issue as you will "lose" with somebody. Avoid criticizing anything "local".
    ***
    -If you're not into hiking, learn quick. It's one of the most valuable opportunities to enjoy nature that you may encounter in your life. Heck, NorCal has great hiking but not as good as Oahu.
    ***
    -Be prepared for everything to run slower. Be prepared to be patient. Businesses, social gatherings, government. Everything. Go with the flow or you'll drive yourself nucking futs. Traffic is a good example. Speed limits around town are 25mph. Yes, 25mph. And, people generally don't speed (because there are oodles of cops who WILL stop you, ticket you, and take 45 minutes to do it), nor is "horn blowing" legally permitted unless it is an imminent emergency. You can get a ticket for blowing your horn.
    -People are nosy. Expect everybody to want to "get into your business, personal life, etc." Watch what you say...even standing in line at Foodland. You just never know who is listening (and everybody is listening) who is so-and-so's cousin's auntie's son-in-law's sistah or brah.
    -Don't try to speak pidgeon. If you weren't raised with it you'll come across as an ass. You can "pepper" your conversation with a word or phrase when you learn and know when it's appropriate, but don't try too hard. It will make the locals' eyes roll.
    -For business, make sure you join multiple professional associations. It's one of the easiest ways to make inroads into what is in reality a very closed ecosystem. Don't expect business to accept you with open arms. It is all about making and cultivating relationships BEFORE folks will do business with you.