Surviving WHOLE FOODS...

  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Sep 19, 2013 12:25 PM GMT
    This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. If you've never shopped at WHOLE FOODS, you probably won't get it, but if you have...

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kelly-maclean/surviving-whole-foods_b_3895583.html
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    Sep 19, 2013 1:42 PM GMT
    One time I got a salad from the salad bar, thinking it would be a cheap and light lunch. Nope. Came out to almost $15 after weighing it at the register. Wtf. They must put lead weights in those salad containers. icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 19, 2013 2:20 PM GMT
    I call them "Whorefoods," and they have another popular nickname:

    Once a guy ahead of me in the checkout line was aghast at what his salad bar purchase ended up costing him.
    Guy ahead of me: "$9.73??? I thought it was $5.99."
    Cashier: "$5.99 is the price per pound."
    Guy ahead of me: "Sheesh. $5.99's bad enough. Oh well."
    Me: "Why d'ya think they call it 'Whole Paycheck'?"
    Guy ahead of me: "No shit, huh?"

    They've long since caught on to their reputation, though, and have rolled out a line of generic stuff. The brand label to look for is "365/everyday value." I divvy up my grocery shopping between the local Whorefoods and the neighborhood food co-op and the better-priced supermarkets. Knowing what to buy where keeps the food bill lower. And especially with the generic-label products Whorefoods is actually competitive for economy sometimes.

    Salad bars are big money makers for grocery stores, whether they be mega-chains or those small Asian-operated holes in the wall that have proliferated in NYC especially. Even the dressing you drizzle over what you've put together adds weight.

    It doesn't pay to have good taste in food. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 19, 2013 3:20 PM GMT
    That was a funny article! Next time I go to Whole Foods, I'll be looking for a gluten free cleaner and maybe they have an acidophilus item for men. icon_smile.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Sep 19, 2013 3:22 PM GMT
    wanna see a bunch of pretentious white people getting swindled and ripped off? Go to Whole Foods.
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    Sep 19, 2013 4:06 PM GMT
    Yup and sounds like Sprouts - another store we have here in CA. I only go there to buy one or two things and get out...so EXPENSIVE.
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    Sep 19, 2013 4:24 PM GMT
    I was a truck driver 23 of my 30 year carrier. 95% of the time, I took my lunch. Eating out was a treat. Since most guys on here can plan working out into your schedule, it's a no brainier to shop healthy, then take the extra 10 minutes in the am to make and pack lunch!
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    Sep 19, 2013 5:46 PM GMT
    Whole Foods pricing = what we pay at pretty much any grocery store in Canada. You guys are just spoiled is all icon_razz.gif

    That said, when I first saw it making the rounds on FB it was a very entertaining read.
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    Sep 19, 2013 9:13 PM GMT
    ...The word kombucha is Japanese for 'I gizzed in your tea.' Anyone who's ever swallowed the glob of mucus at the end of the bottle knows exactly what I'm talking about. I believe this thing is called "The Mother," which makes it that much creepier.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Sep 19, 2013 9:20 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidI shop there everyday buying grocery. I love them! Hope I don't appear to be pretentious!


    I'm glad there is another WF raving fan here! Being a food snob myself (I'll admit it), I like the quality and I know and trust the items to be the best out there. WF is the closest thing we have to a "true" fishmonger in my city, and no one can even come close to the variety of prepared foods.

    Also, WF carries Poland Spring bottled water, which I first enjoyed on a trip to NYC. That is a regional favorite and you cannot find it in Orlando, except at WF.

    They rock my world.
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    Sep 20, 2013 12:43 AM GMT
    I have only been into one once actually.The one in Columbus Circle which is a very nice store.They are building one in Red Hook Brooklyn as well.The prices are pretty insane.If you compare the prices at Shoprite on Staten Island and then go to Fairway in Red Hook Brooklyn you would start laughing.People in Manhattan and Brooklyn pay way more than we do here.Imagine paying 11.99 for laundry detergent.lol Ry
  • SoCalSun

    Posts: 46

    Sep 20, 2013 1:07 AM GMT
    Had to post on twitter. TOO FUCKING REAL.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Sep 20, 2013 1:22 AM GMT
    WickedRyan saidI have only been into one once actually.The one in Columbus Circle which is a very nice store.They are building one in Red Hook Brooklyn as well.The prices are pretty insane.If you compare the prices at Shoprite on Staten Island and then go to Fairway in Red Hook Brooklyn you would start laughing.People in Manhattan and Brooklyn pay way more than we do here.Imagine paying 11.99 for laundry detergent.lol Ry


    Ryan, depending on the brand and size of the laundry detergent, $11.99 is a steal. I see prices much higher than that here.

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    Sep 20, 2013 2:04 AM GMT
    WickedRyan saidI have only been into one once actually.The one in Columbus Circle which is a very nice store.They are building one in Red Hook Brooklyn as well.The prices are pretty insane.If you compare the prices at Shoprite on Staten Island and then go to Fairway in Red Hook Brooklyn you would start laughing.People in Manhattan and Brooklyn pay way more than we do here.Imagine paying 11.99 for laundry detergent.lol Ry


    I used to go to the Whole Foods in Union Square (14th Street).

    I also used to go to the one at Columbus Circle. It was in the basement level and Borders was on the second floor. Samsung was on the third floor.

    On 8th Ave., there was a grocery store by the name of Westerly. I loved that also.

    Here in the Allen, Plano, McKinney, Dallas area, there's a Whole Foods at Fairview (75 & Stacy), there's one at Park & Preston, one at Hwy 12 and 75, and one on Lemmon and the Tollway. I think there's one on Belt Line--it was SO empty; nothing like Union Square.

    Whole Foods has made the blessing of my food a much easier task for God.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Sep 20, 2013 3:31 AM GMT
    StephenOABC said

    Whole Foods has made the blessing of my food a much easier task for God.


    Say what? icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 20, 2013 3:34 AM GMT
    People are really surprised everything is expensive as fuck in there?
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Sep 20, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    damn, it was funny but where the hell is she? the whole foods where i live is nothing like that. the people there are very friendly.
    however, i almost fell on the floor laughing about the salad bar. oh my god that is a rip off. its 4.99 a pound. then when you get up to the cashier it is 15 or 20 if you get meat. ha ha ha which is why i stay away from it.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Sep 20, 2013 3:47 AM GMT
    S34n05 saidPeople are really surprised everything is expensive as fuck in there?
    i am surprised to see how much people claim they spend. i do not spend half of what they get. i think most people buy all of the expensive stuff. i really keep wondering how do you spend so much at wholefoods. hell i save more at wholefoods than i do at safeway and giant
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Sep 20, 2013 3:48 AM GMT
    *laughs* Clearly people don't know how to shop at Whole Foods if it costs so much. I can get two weeks worth of meals for $50 from them, and that's a steal.
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    Sep 20, 2013 4:54 AM GMT
    The one near me has the most extensive cheese selection of any store in the area.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 20, 2013 5:16 AM GMT
    Everybody that shops at whole foods is thin ... that's because they blow all there money on just a few items ... I guess that's one way to cut back icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 20, 2013 5:29 AM GMT
    Amusing to me the complaints about the cost.
    Guess everyones so captivated by the prices of organic they didn't notice the sheer volume of employees that work there, most of which start at over $15 an hour with full benefits.
    --these the same people saying McDonald's should pay more?

    Meh.
    -really just want to shout out to the hot ginger that cruised me at the Sushi bar yesterday.
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    Sep 20, 2013 7:38 AM GMT
    I don't think I've ever seen one around these parts. There's some small orgnic food shops but they're lame and expensive as all hell. $8.99 for 4L of milk? No thanks. I already spend like $800 a month at the REGULAR grocery store.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Sep 20, 2013 9:42 AM GMT
    SeismicMuscle saidI don't think I've ever seen one around these parts. There's some small orgnic food shops but they're lame and expensive as all hell. $8.99 for 4L of milk? No thanks. I already spend like $800 a month at the REGULAR grocery store.
    jeeze dude, do you have a family 10? damn, i buy groceries at wholefoods. i buy for the month and i do not spend over $100. when i do it is because i have to buy condiments. ex. seasoning, ketchup and other items. that is the only time my bill goes up. hell i have bought enough meat to last me almost 2 months before and i did not pay over $50. i hope you were just joking
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    Sep 20, 2013 12:11 PM GMT
    HA! That hit the spot. She must be going to some fancy Whole Foods with that cleansing thing and face analyzer thingy. Haven't seen those at my Whole Foods. But it's not like I've been there in the past 6 months.