Good sex? what is that? am I not sensible at all?

  • chiguy669

    Posts: 13

    Sep 20, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    Ok, so... I was on grindr looking to hookup with a guy for the first time ever. I had never had gay sex before, but it so happens that gay porn REALLY turns me on and I find men very attractive, I get hard when looking at a handsome well-built guy , which RARELY happens with women... so I guess I am gay hahaha

    I had always been more interested in being top, but open to try bottoming. So I met a guy on grindr who seemed pretty down to earth, not ugly but not super handsome either, latino and I would say well endowed, not huge though. So I met with him at his place, tried giving him a blowjob and I refused to go all the way as I didn't know if I was squeaky clean down there, he told me to use his bathroom and that he really wanted to try (he was straight/curious). So he went ahead, and since this was my first time bottoming, when he got in it kinda hurt, of course, the it got more relaxed. So, here is the thing... I didn't like anal sex, didn't really feel anything... Since he was straight, he tried giving me a blowjob but didn't last more than 2 secs.

    The other experience I had, was with a 22yo skinny guy who was really sexy! better that he looked on grindr, but he was so quick for everything. As soon as I got there he started kissing me (didn't feel a thing! ? jeez), we got naked, made out for a couple minutes and then gave me a condom (which I asked for) but I was almost flacid (?), really difficult to stay hard at first, although I wasn't nervous or anything o.O, so ok, I got in but he was in a position that wasn't very uncomfortable, so I positioned his legs in a way I felt was better (raised and resting on my shoulders) and did that for a couple minutes, then made him flip over and did it for another couple of minutes, then he was on four, then a lot other things we tried, but never felt a thing!... so, after like 30min of having "fun" I left and never "came"... if this gives you an idea, I was horny in the morning and got a message from him, told him I could meet up after 8, but he had classes at 9, so I thought it was never gonna happen, so I took care of that horny-ness (?) myself. Then texted me around 8:40 saying he wanted to meet and that he would skip classes, so I went to his place and did all this... could having jerked off before our hookup affected the experience so badly?

    So, what do you more experienced guys say?!
  • chiguy669

    Posts: 13

    Sep 20, 2013 4:20 PM GMT
    anyone wants to share their experiences?
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Sep 20, 2013 6:09 PM GMT
    I'm not sure why I'm trying to respond to your post - but here goes.

    Hooking up with a straight/curious guy for your first sexual experience with a man, and going right into anal sex is asking for, well, let's just say - exactly what happened.

    Ideally for a first time, you'd want to get with a guy that's had some experience - and a gay man who knows he's gay.
    He should know that you lack experience and be willing to be patient, take it at your speed, make the experience about you and your pleasure.

    Sucking cock is good for a first time M2M encounter. Save anal until you're comfortable with just being with another guy.

    So, then, 12 hours later you hook up again, after you've jacked off.

    Yeah, that would effect the experience. Your desire decreases after cumming. So, you JO then meet this guy - your second time with a guy - you try fucking him, rush through that experience, and don't get off.
    Not surprised.

    I don't need to tell you - sex is good - REAL GOOD - but it does take experience to understand the mechanics of it, how your body responds, etc, etc. to get to the point where sex is good sex.

    Guys on Grindr and other hook up sites are looking for quick sex. Get together and get off. You need a guy that's going to take some time and let you explore the experience.

    I understand your desire to have sex and have fun, I was exactly the same at your age. I wanted to have sex. Period.
    Just becareful and smart about it. PLAY SAFE. Don't believe the guy when he tells you he's clean. Protect yourself every time.
  • chiguy669

    Posts: 13

    Sep 20, 2013 6:34 PM GMT
    Hothouse saidI'm not sure why I'm trying to respond to your post - but here goes.

    Hooking up with a straight/curious guy for your first sexual experience with a man, and going right into anal sex is asking for, well, let's just say - exactly what happened.

    Ideally for a first time, you'd want to get with a guy that's had some experience - and a gay man who knows he's gay.
    He should know that you lack experience and be willing to be patient, take it at your speed, make the experience about you and your pleasure.

    Sucking cock is good for a first time M2M encounter. Save anal until you're comfortable with just being with another guy.

    So, then, 12 hours later you hook up again, after you've jacked off.

    Yeah, that would effect the experience. Your desire decreases after cumming. So, you JO then meet this guy - your second time with a guy - you try fucking him, rush through that experience, and don't get off.
    Not surprised.

    I don't need to tell you - sex is good - REAL GOOD - but it does take experience to understand the mechanics of it, how your body responds, etc, etc. to get to the point where sex is good sex.

    Guys on Grindr and other hook up sites are looking for quick sex. Get together and get off. You need a guy that's going to take some time and let you explore the experience.

    I understand your desire to have sex and have fun, I was exactly the same at your age. I wanted to have sex. Period.
    Just becareful and smart about it. PLAY SAFE. Don't believe the guy when he tells you he's clean. Protect yourself every time.


    Well, I guess you are right!

    I was comfortable with the first guy. In fact we talked at first, got to know each other and we knew beforehand that nothing that we didn't want to do would happen.

    I guess probably it all comes down to the romance, which is rarely present in quick hookups ;)

    Thanks for your comments!

  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Sep 20, 2013 7:31 PM GMT
    I know what you're experiencing. When I was your age I was horny. Really horny. All the time.

    I was 20 when I first had sex. I was more than ready for it.
    30 plus years ago there was no internet to find hook-ups. Once I figured out how to meet men, and found out it was very easy to find a guy to have sex with, then I went all out. I had sex, a lot and a lot of different guys. Somethings don't change. Men like sex - that never changes.
    At that time there was no talk of safe sex, guys just hooked up and had fun.
    Sometimes it was good, sometimes it wasn't - just the way it is.
    But, I finally reached a point when I wanted more. I wanted more than just a physical thing - I wanted an emotional experience as well. I then found out it was more difficult to find a guy to date then to find one to have sex with.
    That doesn't mean I didn't hook up, but over time, I matured and wanted to have a relationship.

    You'll figure it out in time and with experience - you're not going though anything that millions of other men haven't experienced. Good sex? You'll know what it is once you experience it, and you will.
  • chiguy669

    Posts: 13

    Sep 21, 2013 2:44 AM GMT
    Hothouse saidI know what you're experiencing. When I was your age I was horny. Really horny. All the time.

    I was 20 when I first had sex. I was more than ready for it.
    30 plus years ago there was no internet to find hook-ups. Once I figured out how to meet men, and found out it was very easy to find a guy to have sex with, then I went all out. I had sex, a lot and a lot of different guys. Somethings don't change. Men like sex - that never changes.
    At that time there was no talk of safe sex, guys just hooked up and had fun.
    Sometimes it was good, sometimes it wasn't - just the way it is.
    But, I finally reached a point when I wanted more. I wanted more than just a physical thing - I wanted an emotional experience as well. I then found out it was more difficult to find a guy to date then to find one to have sex with.
    That doesn't mean I didn't hook up, but over time, I matured and wanted to have a relationship.

    You'll figure it out in time and with experience - you're not going though anything that millions of other men haven't experienced. Good sex? You'll know what it is once you experience it, and you will.


    Thank you for your comments, they are very well received.

    I don't know if my original post sounded like I regret my decisions, but the truth is that I might have had high expectations for meaningless sex. Still I do not regret anything, in fact I think it was pretty fun, I skipped gym to hookup but at the end I did 20min of cardio and what I think would be equivalent to leg day and some abs, I was soar for a couple hours hahaha.

    I just thought it would be fun to hear others experiences like this, cause I'm sure, as you say, many if not everyone has been through something similar. icon_smile.gif and yes, I can imagine how hard it can be to find a life partner!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 21, 2013 3:03 AM GMT
    I'm weird, I don't enjoy sex unless I like the person and feel comfortable with him.
  • chiguy669

    Posts: 13

    Sep 21, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    Timbales saidI'm weird, I don't enjoy sex unless I like the person and feel comfortable with him.


    I don't think anyone would!

    I wouldn't even try if I didn't feel comfortable with that person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    It sounds like Guy #2 is a potential FWB since you're attracted to each other and have met twice. See if he'd like to spend an afternoon together out of bed to just hang out, grab a coffee, shoot the shit. You may end up with a friendship that lasts long after you've quit having sex.

    BTW it's true that a lot of guys who talk about hooking up flake out and never show up - or they have some lame excuse. But deciding action's not gonna happen because you'd have to wait an hour is taking it too far. No casual hookup, or even husband, is going to move heaven and earth to always be available at the precise time you want him to be. Relationships at any level are all about the give-and-take. Chilling for 60 minutes in exchange for an open ass hardly seems to be asking too much!

    When you feel the afterglow - and you'll know it - that's when the sex has been not only hot but good. icon_smile.gif
  • chiguy669

    Posts: 13

    Sep 21, 2013 5:07 AM GMT
    okonomiyaki saidIt sounds like Guy #2 is a potential FWB since you're attracted to each other and have met twice. See if he'd like to spend an afternoon together out of bed to just hang out, grab a coffee, shoot the shit. You may end up with a friendship that lasts long after you've quit having sex.

    BTW it's true that a lot of guys who talk about hooking up flake out and never show up - or they have some lame excuse. But deciding action's not gonna happen because you'd have to wait an hour is taking it too far. No casual hookup, or even husband, is going to move heaven and earth to always be available at the precise time you want him to be. Relationships at any level are all about the give-and-take. Chilling for 60 minutes in exchange for an open ass hardly seems to be asking too much!

    When you feel the afterglow - and you'll know it - that's when the sex has been not only hot but good. icon_smile.gif


    Oh no, he sent the email inviting me to come over very early in the morning. I was sleeping then, as soon as I woke up I responded, but it was too late, he had classes to go to, so there was no time... Then is when I figured it was never gonna happen... Then, an hour later he decided to skip classes... I don't know if that makes sense :p