TOP Privilege

  • Sebastian18

    Posts: 255

    Sep 20, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    Here's an article a friend shared with me yesterday that got me to thinking about the nature of privilege in the inter-LGBTQI community.

    Especially amongst men who have sex with men, people tend to view more masculine (masc) guys more favorably than those who would socially be considered effeminate. How this plays out in our culture is particularly fascinating, especially when one considers the large incidence of psychological illness and other epidemiological problems in our community.

    "If you turn on your Grindr or Scruff or any other hook-up app, you will see your screen littered with torsos within small boxes. I would say that a large percentage of these profiles will state things like, "Masc only," or, "No fems," or, "Be a real man," etc. Others will state, "Masc guy here," or, "Athletic," or, "Real man," blah, blah, blah. You get the picture.

    In gay sex masculinity is hot right now, and it has been for a long, long time. And beyond all these declarations of a desired gender performance, you will see another word float around with frequency -- "top" -- as in, "Top here," or, "Bttm looking for top," or, "You be a top," and so on and so on. Top. Top. Top."


    What are your thoughts?

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/zach-stafford/top-privilege_b_3916143.html
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    Sep 20, 2013 8:07 PM GMT
    I really want some Chipotle right now.
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    Sep 20, 2013 8:46 PM GMT
    I really want to get fucked right now.
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    Sep 21, 2013 2:19 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    juvenescences saidI really want some Chipotle right now.

    I've never been to Chipotle.
    You might like it. Order the chicken burrito bowl.

    menu_burrito_bowl.png
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    Sep 21, 2013 2:29 AM GMT
    juvenescences saidI really want some Chipotle right now.

    What kind of topping would you like on that?
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    Sep 21, 2013 4:20 AM GMT
    Versatility is the only way to go! icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 21, 2013 5:19 AM GMT
    I just see threads like this over and over, dont you get bored of discussing the same thing all the time?
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    Sep 21, 2013 5:19 AM GMT
    From the article...Tops still can eat at Chipotle before sex, and that is a privilege. A huge one.


    NO. Any top who eats any kind of smelly food before sex is just plain skank nasty and is NOT a "privileged" sex partner in my book.

    I like to kiss. And, I don't want to kiss a half-digested burrito.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 21, 2013 6:21 AM GMT
    spinning%20top(3).jpg

    Masculine
    Origin Latin: Masculus, Masculinus
    Alternative forms
    masclus

    Etymology
    Diminutive from mās (“male, man”) +‎ -culus.

    Adjective
    masculus m (feminine mascula, neuter masculum); first/second declension
    male, masculine
    (substantive) A man, male.

    Descendants

    Albanian: mashkull
    Aromanian: mascur
    Catalan: mascle
    French: mâle

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    Sep 21, 2013 6:38 AM GMT
    David3000 saidI just see threads like this over and over, dont you get bored of discussing the same thing all the time?


    These kinds of threads are never going to go away.

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    Sep 21, 2013 6:51 AM GMT
    xrichx said
    Aristoshark said
    juvenescences saidI really want some Chipotle right now.

    I've never been to Chipotle.
    You might like it. Order the chicken burrito bowl.

    menu_burrito_bowl.png

    So far I have popped into two different Chipotles. Both times I took a look and decided to eat somewhere else. Still want to try it. Does anyone know how it compares to Qdoba or Moe's?
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    Sep 21, 2013 1:37 PM GMT
    Philibuster said
    xrichx said
    Aristoshark said
    juvenescences saidI really want some Chipotle right now.

    I've never been to Chipotle.
    You might like it. Order the chicken burrito bowl.

    menu_burrito_bowl.png

    So far I have popped into two different Chipotles. Both times I took a look and decided to eat somewhere else. Still want to try it. Does anyone know how it compares to Qdoba or Moe's?

    Haven't had Moe's, but easily better than Qdoba
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Sep 21, 2013 4:10 PM GMT
    Sebastian18 saidHow this plays out in our culture is particularly fascinating, especially when one considers the large incidence of psychological illness and other epidemiological problems in our community.


    Are you implying that most gay men are psychologically unwell? I'm not prepared to disagree. Just wondering how you meant that.
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    Sep 21, 2013 4:24 PM GMT
    I should probably give this some more thought, but, I'm just going to throw my thoughts out here.

    1. In the not so distant past, being discovered to be gay could pose a very serious threat. Ergo, being masculine was a safer option.

    2. People, in general, are not comfortable with things that seem out of the ordinary (e.g. effeminate males - oxymoronic) and therefore stick with what they are comfortable with.

    3. A lot of guys are still very much in the closet and do not want to be outed by association with a "stereotypical" effeminate guy.

    Please help by adding to this.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 21, 2013 4:26 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidI really want to get fucked right now.





    Of Course you do.

    We all do.
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    Sep 30, 2013 2:24 AM GMT
    I thought I was wacked. The responses on here are just plain silly! LoL!


    Gay men like men. If they want to be with a woman, they would not be gay. That's why most gay men want someone who is masculine. Also, being masculine is the norm and people tend to gravitate towards the norm. It's human nature.

    Just my opinion.

  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Sep 30, 2013 2:41 PM GMT
    HellNo saidI thought I was wacked. The responses on here are just plain silly! LoL!


    Gay men like men. If they want to be with a woman, they would not be gay. That's why most gay men want someone who is masculine. Also, being masculine is the norm and people tend to gravitate towards the norm. It's human nature.

    Just my opinion.



    "Being "masc" in the gay community is the norm?" Someone is in denial! 90 percent of gay men see themselves as masculine, but in the realm of reality...mmm, not so much! Top and masculine privilages will continue to exist for a few more decades. As countries institutionalize more progressive policies on gay rights, gays themselves will reevaluate their self-hate and the coming generations will have "preferences" but they won't always be in favor of the current status quo.

    Now some of you might say, "City of Dreams, just because I am not attracted to effeminate guys doesn't mean that I have self-internalized hate!!!" I would agree with you, but the moment that you "cringe" when you see an effeminate guy is when the hating begins. Do you cringe when you see an ultra butch? Probably not. We are more socially brain washed than we think. We are slaves to the system and enlightening thought, one that is outside of the sphere of influence, is rare. Those who are comfortable with themselves can be placed in any situation with any type of gay. They will possibly not relate on anything, but will also not dismiss someone based on mannerisms, etc...

    Now, on to my "preferences": If 0 is the mega butch and 100 is the mega effeminate, I say that I am into 40-80 with a stronger attraction to those in the top, effeminate half (60-80). Of course, like everything else in life, there are exceptions to every rule. I have dated from 0-100. I have preferences not discriminatory policies.

    As for "tops" being seen as more of a man, we must always remember two things: bottoms like penis up their butt, tops like to put their penis inside another man's butt. In the end, it is two men engaging in a sexual act. I would say both are equally gay, equally man. Lastly, those who say that tops are the dominate breed haven't encountered a power bottom - 'nuff said!
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    Sep 30, 2013 7:23 PM GMT
    It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out.


    The majority of the population (I will not say 'normal' unless you have a background in statistics :winkicon_smile.gif:

    Man = masculine
    Woman = feminine.

    I'm ready for my CHIPOTLE too. Very spicy and without the beans, please. icon_cool.gif
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Sep 30, 2013 7:36 PM GMT
    HellNo saidIt doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out.


    The majority of the population (I will not say 'normal' unless you have a background in statistics :winkicon_smile.gif:

    Man = masculine
    Woman = feminine.

    I'm ready for my CHIPOTLE too. Very spicy and without the beans, please. icon_cool.gif


    I guess, we should be quite now, no purpose in arguing with such genius minds icon_rolleyes.gif.