telling your family and friends That you like guys

  • Benjamin93

    Posts: 6

    Sep 21, 2013 12:42 AM GMT
    I have been arguing with myself for almost a year now
    About how to tell my family and friends that I'm bi.
    I have only told 2 people in my life, my mum and one of my best friends,
    I told them because I know that they would be 100% supportive
    Of how I want to live my life. Also I'm pretty sure no one expects it
    So it's going to be a huge shock to everyone I tell as I only have been in relationships with girls my whole life.

    I'm sure the people that matter in my life are going to stick by me no matter what. But I'm still trying to get the courage to tell everyone else.

    How did you guys go about telling people that are close to you?
    Was it a huge relief?
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    Sep 21, 2013 1:07 AM GMT
    Yes, a surprisingly big relief. What surprised me was almost everyone accepted it right away and it was not big deal. Very few people gave me a hard time, and most of them got over it eventually. Only a couple of friends blew me off, and good riddance to them.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Sep 21, 2013 2:02 AM GMT
    Bro...you just tell others when you make a sexual connection you blind yourself to the fact if there male or female...Tell them inner qualities play a huge factor in who you're attracted to.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Sep 21, 2013 2:18 AM GMT
    Sounds like your Mom and your friend were the really important ones. From here on you may well consider it to be a need-to-know thing rather than a matter of general knowledge. A lot of people consider it old fashioned these days, but why shouldn't you have a personal life that is just that. If people are very close, it will probably not be a big deal. I just would not get into a committed relationship without being upfront.
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Sep 21, 2013 2:18 AM GMT
    Yeah, its definitely a huge relief. I remember coming out to my brother years ago and he was the first one I came out to.

    After telling him I was gay, I just felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

    Of course there were the dramatic tears flowing down my cheeks but I think they were tears of joy because my brother had actually said that I was silly to hide this from him because he'd love me no matter what.
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    Sep 21, 2013 3:26 AM GMT
    Chances are, they already know.

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    Sep 21, 2013 6:19 AM GMT
    I not only knowing I was a poofter from a young age, I was also open and honest about it too; no matter what they did to me.

    Thus I have grown up with this being a natural part of my life. Thus since I have always lived it, I need not cut any ribbons, or make any declaration. I wish other could of been as blessed as I have.
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    Sep 21, 2013 7:13 AM GMT
    i think your mind is already made up, u sound like u are tired of hiding and pretending, u just want everything in the open. I respect that. Be aware that u will loose some of your friends, but now it time to know who will stick around and who will leave and start building solid friendships and relationships. Goodluck
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 21, 2013 4:37 PM GMT
    Yeah, you'll be surprised how relieved you'll feel. I mean, I had to tell my sons, which was kind of strange but crazy nerve wracking. They were fine. You'll find love is love. The unexpected thing is discovering that you really never get over the task of coming out. Prospective employers? Friends at the gym? I mean, you don't have to tell everyone if there is just no reason. Some people can find out for themselves. About the only negative responses I got from anyone was a few who were mad that I didn't tell them earlier. All you have to say is "Well, it was tough." You saying you're bi may add questions, though. People find it "Neither fish nor fowl." Be sure in your soul that is what you are or you may have to do it all over again.
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    Sep 21, 2013 7:03 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidThe unexpected thing is discovering that you really never get over the task of coming out. Prospective employers? Friends at the gym?

    I have often said this as well. Because you will continue to meet new people, there will always be the matter of making this known (or not). I don't wear a sign, or make it my lead story when I'm introduced to someone. But if they are around me enough, they will either figure it out or I will refer to it within the context of a conversation.

    I can't speak to the bi part of your story, but I think most of this will still apply. I think that the way you present your news has an effect on the way others receive it. Believe me, I know it's hard not to be nervous, but the more calm and confident you can be (as opposed to guilty and ashamed), the better.

    Also, in my experience, it does get easier as you go along. Having to hide The Big Secret is a heavy burden. Freeing yourself of that burden is definitely a huge relief.

    Keep us posted, man. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 21, 2013 7:11 PM GMT
    Benjamin93 saidHow did you guys go about telling people that are close to you?
    Was it a huge relief?



    I was in sort of the same boat as you, since I once had girlfriends and was seen with only women. Then, I put that aside and went after what I really wanted most. Socio-biologically speaking, my genes demand men. So I just started appearing places publicly with a guy by my side instead of a girl. I'd introduce him and made it very clear he was my date. Why should this be any different than just showing up with a girl? People who are enlightened and intelligent will be okay with your situation. They're bright, aware, they've been around and they're going to be fine with your news. Any others who might give you shit can be dismissed entirely - - period. You don't need or want bad people in your life. I live by that, and I'm hoping you can too!
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    Sep 21, 2013 10:55 PM GMT
    I've told as many people as you have. Lately I've been thinking that trying to hide part of who I am just gets tiring, and boring. I feel like it is relieving, but it can be stressful and scary. You just have to be ready in case some people don't accept you, and even if they all do. There'll always be hate, so be ready to not care what people think!
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    Sep 29, 2013 8:01 PM GMT
    acrolat saidI've told as many people as you have. Lately I've been thinking that trying to hide part of who I am just gets tiring, and boring. I feel like it is relieving, but it can be stressful and scary. You just have to be ready in case some people don't accept you, and even if they all do. There'll always be hate, so be ready to not care what people think!


    But why do people hate?