Falling for your straight friend.

  • jcgogo

    Posts: 4

    Nov 23, 2008 7:25 AM GMT
    COLORED TEXT GOES HERE
    What do you do when start to have feelings for a straight friend he knows i'm gay, but is cool with it. I want to tell him, but fear the consequences.
  • qalbi30

    Posts: 116

    Nov 23, 2008 7:51 AM GMT
    Forget it! unless you want more heartache in your life.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 23, 2008 10:14 AM GMT
    I agree ....
    You want to lose a friend too ?

    Similar to if you had a friend who was a woman...
    what would you do if she made a sexual advance on you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2008 3:15 PM GMT
    qalbi30 saidForget it! unless you want more heartache in your life.


    I'll have to agree. Happened to me, I told him I fell for him and even though we were very close friends, or so I thought, the friendship ended. His choice. So if you want to keep the friendship I would suggest not saying anything and setting your sights elsewhere. It will save you a lot of heartache.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2008 3:24 PM GMT
    Also, ask yourself a little question:
    Why did I fall for an unavailable person?

    The answers, if you're honest with yourself, will probably help you learn a great deal about yourself.
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    Nov 23, 2008 3:57 PM GMT
    RunintheCity saidAlso, ask yourself a little question:
    Why did I fall for an unavailable person?

    The answers, if you're honest with yourself, will probably help you learn a great deal about yourself.

    It's very easy. While I claim to want a relationship, and bemoan my many long years of singleness, I am secretly afraid of relationships, and go after guys I can't have because I can chase and chase and chase but never need to fear getting caught.

    Also, the idea of the unattainable is very attractive to me.

    That's what I learned when I asked myself that question. I'm not saying it still won't occasionally happen, but for the most part I can take it at face value and move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2008 4:14 PM GMT
    i did once...

    the guy wasnt cute, in fact he was really ugly lol

    his personality though, i got to know him and he became really hot inside and out.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2008 4:29 PM GMT
    onslaught saidhis personality though, i got to know him and he became really hot inside and out.
    That happened to me also. That just show that your heart is in the right place when you can love someone regardless of how they look.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2008 4:48 PM GMT
    What do you do? You stop and think for a minute about what a great friendship you have with a person you've made a close mental and emotional connection with. And you appreciate it for what it is, and not idealize it becoming something romantic.

    I have several close friends who are straight. There have been times where I've thought any one of them would make the ideal partner. But then... they're straight so it's not going to happen.

    They're still a very close friend, who I have a very deep, open, and meaningful relationship with. They make my life better, I feel their support, and I know they care about me, and vice versa.

    So really, pretty much the only difference between these close friends and a life partner is that I'm not having sex with them. And I'm OK with that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2008 4:49 PM GMT
    I fell in love with my straight friend to the point I couldn't hang out with him anymore because of it. I was still in the closet when we would hang out and funny enough, everyone thought he was the gay one, not me.

    After a year of not hanging out with him I finally came out to him and told him why I hadn't hung out with him, it was one of those sappy emotional times, but we are probably stronger friends for it, he's still straight but it's incredible to know he is such a strong friend.

    I don't think that happens with everyone, but I was glad it turned out that way for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2008 5:09 PM GMT
    i did back in highschool- Rhys was his name- how cool is that? lol we weren't best friends but i saw him every day in a few classes and we had history- he knew i was gay but would- i swear- tease me. like yawning, stretching so his shirt lifted over his abs, and saying how hard his workout was the day before- did i want to feel his biceps? or, wow he was so tense, could i give him a quick massage? it didn't help that while rumors circulated the school that he was a manwhore with the womenfolk.. there were an equal amount of rumors saying he was bi. at some point we started going for runs together, and in the course of talking one on one outside of school like that, i asked if those later rumors were true? he said they weren't. in a way that ended the conversation. and afterwards there was always this awkwardness in the air between us- he'd read my careful hopefulness in the question.
    straight men will be your friend only so long as it isn't awkward or threatening to them.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Nov 23, 2008 5:24 PM GMT
    yes the non verified have alot to say on here. It's funny when they give fitness tips like they are a Physical Therapist or Personal Trainer. Most just like to read what they wrote. Like people who speak just to hear themselves talk. One comes to mind redvespa. LMAOicon_lol.gif
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Nov 23, 2008 7:55 PM GMT
    Don't do it! There will be other crushes, other men. And keep reminding yourself. He's NOT GAY.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2008 8:00 PM GMT
    Refer to my post over here:

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/345395/

  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Nov 23, 2008 8:03 PM GMT
    Yeah, been there done that! It leads to nothing but a very bad heart break! icon_redface.gif
  • Roshan16

    Posts: 47

    Feb 02, 2009 4:57 PM GMT
    DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T do it..............trust me ..been there 4 times............it hurts tremendously....i still hang out with my 4th one....it's really difficult n painful to behave like normal friends whn deep down in my heart i know how much i love him n he's the perfect guy for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2009 5:20 PM GMT
    The fact that he is STRAIGHT makes him off limits. I could never see that happening.