Making the first move:Older/younger

  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1272

    Sep 22, 2013 2:07 AM GMT
    I'd like to get the opinion of you younger guys. In general if there seems to be mutual interest between you and an older guy, maybe somebody you've been kind of flirting with or making a lot of eye contact with at the gym for example.
    Would you make the next move or would you expect or want the older guy to?
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Sep 22, 2013 2:17 AM GMT
    I'd expect whoever is the more assertive one to make the first move. Age has nothing to do with it. Some are more inclined than others to go after what they want.
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    Sep 22, 2013 2:32 AM GMT
    how "younger" we talking.
    under 25--walk away, telling you.
    Other than that, it's the 'top' responsibility.
    Unless he's the power bottom--bring flowers, or Cretin, depending on bicep measurements.
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    Sep 22, 2013 2:36 AM GMT
    If this is going to have any chance at all, you've got to get some fire in your belly. Pour out your charm and show this younger guy how much you see in him.

    And then when you get the chance, fuck like your getting paid for it.
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    Sep 22, 2013 4:32 AM GMT
    When I was younger, I had no interest in older guys whatsoever. Now that I'm an older guy, I remember how I felt when older guys hit on me, so i tend to let younger guys who happen to like older guys make the first move so I'm not creeping on every young guy who catches my eye but might be just as disgusted as I was at that age.
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    Sep 22, 2013 4:40 AM GMT
    erik911sd saidWhen I was younger, I had no interest in older guys whatsoever. Now that I'm an older guy, I remember how I felt when older guys hit on me, so i tend to let younger guys who happen to like older guys make the first move so I'm not creeping on every young guy who catches my eye but might be just as disgusted as I was at that age.


    here's an example of wisdom that comes with age; i wish everyone had a good memory like you. still, i think it's allowed for the older guy to make a move towards the younger prey. but only if he is 100% sure it'll be welcome and he won't come off as a creep. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 22, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    There's no right or wrong answer. I think most younger guys that fancy older ones, are a little timid. So they want the older guy to make the move. Also, for some younger guys, that's part of the attraction of an older guy; Mature, knows what he wants, and goes after it. Also, on the flip side, there are some aggressive younger guys that actively chase the older guys.

    So yeah, I think it really depends on the two individuals involved.
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    Sep 22, 2013 5:09 AM GMT
    vitaliyvloan said
    erik911sd saidWhen I was younger, I had no interest in older guys whatsoever. Now that I'm an older guy, I remember how I felt when older guys hit on me, so i tend to let younger guys who happen to like older guys make the first move so I'm not creeping on every young guy who catches my eye but might be just as disgusted as I was at that age.


    here's an example of wisdom that comes with age; i wish everyone had a good memory like you. still, i think it's allowed for the older guy to make a move towards the younger prey. but only if he is 100% sure it'll be welcome and he won't come off as a creep. icon_smile.gif



    As an "older guy" definitely agree with both parts of this response. I prefer guys about 10 years younger than me and feel that is close enough I will initiate contact if I sense interest. Much younger than that and I will usually wait for them to express an interest as opposed to prompting an "eww factor". I can accept rejection from any age guy but don't see a reason to seek it out!
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 22, 2013 5:28 AM GMT
    Jeez. This is way over thinking it. It's no different than any two guys. If the older guy wants to make the first move and has any reasonable indication there's an interest, then he should do it. Doesn't mean he has to be slimy. Just talk and see what happens. If the younger guy is cool with it, then great. If not, the younger guy should have a decent conversation, then turn his attention elsewhere. No different than any two guys. And the same goes for a younger guy approaching an older guy. Attention should be construed as a compliment. Younger guys can be creepers as well. Good guys are good guys. Creepers are creepers.
  • Jessie_Lee

    Posts: 113

    Sep 22, 2013 5:41 AM GMT
    Kinda doesn't matter whether you're older or younger, just be assertive and make an approach. However, you do have to pay attention to the person's body language, such as their eyes and relative distance (meaning your chances are better if the person chooses to stand closer to you).
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    Sep 22, 2013 5:52 AM GMT
    This reminds me of when I was in a bar last weekend. This guy was with his friends and kept looking over at me. I was in the mood to flirt, so I'd look back and smile. This went on for about thirty minutes. Since he was with his friends, I was waiting for him to make a move, but he didn't. Thinking back, I should've just gotten up and made a move myself.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 22, 2013 6:29 AM GMT
    creature saidI'd expect whoever is the more assertive one to make the first move. Age has nothing to do with it. Some are more inclined than others to go after what they want.



    Good answer.
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    Sep 22, 2013 7:06 AM GMT
    erik911sd saidWhen I was younger, I had no interest in older guys whatsoever. Now that I'm an older guy, I remember how I felt when older guys hit on me, so i tend to let younger guys who happen to like older guys make the first move so I'm not creeping on every young guy who catches my eye but might be just as disgusted as I was at that age.


    This - almost.
    I've always been an equal opportunity horndog where age is concerned - lusted after (and scored with) plenty of significantly older guys when younger AND vice versa. To me a "significant" age difference is 5 years during the teens and twenties, 10 during the thirties and forties, 20 from then on. My rule of thumb throughout has always been "The younger guy makes the moves." Either man could throw the first glance or say the initial words, but from there on in the junior of the pair calls the shots.

  • Sep 22, 2013 10:37 AM GMT
    I tend to let the younger guys move on me first so i dont seem like a creeper. If they seem interested but shy, ill say hello or something to break the ice but still wait for him to go from there.
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    Sep 22, 2013 11:58 AM GMT
    My guess is with all your rules, it'd be a surprise if one can ever land a winner. Don't care so much about that. It's about what you want.
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    Sep 22, 2013 11:59 AM GMT
    erik911sd saidWhen I was younger, I had no interest in older guys whatsoever. Now that I'm an older guy, I remember how I felt when older guys hit on me, so i tend to let younger guys who happen to like older guys make the first move so I'm not creeping on every young guy who catches my eye but might be just as disgusted as I was at that age.

    Very sound advice.
    I'm a little different as I did like some older guys when I was younger. But if they came on too strong, that kind of scared me away. So I just keep that in mind if some younger dude catches my interest. I'll be friendly, but not overt.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Sep 22, 2013 12:18 PM GMT
    The younger/older and top/bottom have nothing to do with it. It's all the vibe and signals and then acting on them and that will come from who is more comfortable.

    The whole young/older thing and "creeping" younger guys out is off the table and not a consideration if interest is shown. If you're taking a shot in the dark and no interest is there then some younger guys will gracefully decline and some douche bags will be docks about it.

    If you don't ask you'll never know. You're better off asking than not.
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    Sep 22, 2013 12:22 PM GMT
    Jessie_Lee saidKinda doesn't matter whether you're older or younger, just be assertive and make an approach. However, you do have to pay attention to the person's body language, such as their eyes and relative distance (meaning your chances are better if the person chooses to stand closer to you).


    This.

    I don't know understand why some older men are all about younger guys. I'm 27 and my age preference is 24-34. Around my age, basically. The older I get the more my preference expands, but not on the younger end.
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    Sep 22, 2013 3:14 PM GMT
    jo2hotbod saidThe younger/older and top/bottom have nothing to do with it. It's all the vibe and signals and then acting on them and that will come from who is more comfortable.

    The whole young/older thing and "creeping" younger guys out is off the table and not a consideration if interest is shown. If you're taking a shot in the dark and no interest is there then some younger guys will gracefully decline and some douche bags will be docks about it.

    If you don't ask you'll never know. You're better off asking than not.


    I agree. I am 22 and my age range is 22-50. If I see a guy I find attractive I may be a little hesitant at first to make the first move; but eventually I would work up the courage to say "Hi" to him and start up a conversation. If things go farther than that great; if they don't it's okay at least I tried. You will never know unless you try.
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    Sep 22, 2013 3:21 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidhow "younger" we talking.
    under 25--walk away, telling you.



    Yup, because everyone knows that guys under 25 all have cooties. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Sep 22, 2013 3:26 PM GMT
    you're probably imagining things. younger gay guys have no interest in older gay guys. tell me when you were younger did you have interest in old men? the answer is no. i know, cuz i don't either.
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    Sep 22, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    RainBow_Dragon2000 saidyou're probably imagining things. younger gay guys have no interest in older gay guys. tell me when you were younger did you have interest in old men? the answer is no. i know, cuz i don't either.


    Not necessarily true, I only date guys older than me. I strongly prefer guys in their 30s or 40s.
  • isuflyboy

    Posts: 363

    Sep 22, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    I usually don't go for guys older than 25 but when I so I like to hear from them first, makes me feel good inside someone has interest in me
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    Sep 22, 2013 4:42 PM GMT
    RainBow_Dragon2000 saidyou're probably imagining things. younger gay guys have no interest in older gay guys. tell me when you were younger did you have interest in old men? the answer is no. i know, cuz i don't either.

    Exactly, this is why I have more 20 somethings approach me than 30s and 40s combined...they hate us old farts!
  • Whipmagic

    Posts: 1481

    Sep 22, 2013 6:53 PM GMT
    I take the more pragmatic approach: if I'm interested in a guy, younger or older, fitter or fatter, I make the first move. I simply don't care about these games any more. Rejection still hurts, but it beats wondering 'what if'.